Vitamin Woes

So I have been slacking since I feel like I am in limbo and have nothing TTC related to share. I have been taking my vitamins but Mr. Explorer Bud has decided that they just make him feel sick so he has stopped taking them the past week. I may just have him take the Vitamin C, Vitamin E and Zinc only and let the rest go by the wayside and see if that makes it easier on his digestive tract. I am sure eating healthier meals as well would help but that is a whole other story.

The other day I had a dream I had a baby and then I kept misplacing the baby, forgetting to feed the baby and all sorts of problems. It got me thinking that maybe I was pregnant since I was dreaming out it and all but then I brought myself back into reality that no I was just having a weird dream!! Hopefully when I do have a baby I won't be so careless!!

Other than that there is nothing new or exciting on the TTC front just lovely limbo!

I hate swallowing pills. I am sure I over think if I can swallow them and if they will get stuck in my throat and all sorts of nonsense. So I am swallowing 17 pills a day and chewing one pill, that is my favorite way to take them. Mr. Explorer Bud is the complete opposite, I laid out 7 pills for him to take at dinner since he is terrible at remembering to take them, and he says, "watch this" and pops them all in his mouth at once and swallows with a little sip of water!! The only problem he has is realizing that he must eat a meal when he takes them so he doesn't feel neauseous afterwards, I have no problem remembering that since I hate being neauseous! In short he is taking to swallowing the pills better and I am better and eating with them.

I have noticed that I am feeling more awake and energetic during the afternoon and evening when I would be crashing and looking for food to give me a little pick me up. I am falling alseep without a problem and actually staying asleep even when Mr. EB has come to bed late. So far the Experiment is going well and hopefully it continues. It will be interesting to see if AF arrives in a month or so.

Hiatus & New Experiment

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Sorry for the long hiatus I think that it just took me a few weeks to figure out what was next, what I would start to blog about that was all negative and bitter. Mr. Explorer Bud and I have a new "Experiment" for our TTC plan. My mom's friend's father, I know a bit confusing but hang in there, was an animal nutritionist and worked closely with farmers during breeding season. When the animals were having difficulty conceiveing/performing both female and male they would put the animals on a high dosage of vitamin E and wheat germ oil. So the friend is also involved with nutrition and such for humans and suggested that Mr. Explorer Bud and I go on 1000 IU of natural vitamin E, Stress B Complex vitamins and eat fruits, veggies and lean meats we would be able to conceive. So instead of instantly being pissed that another know-it-all know-nothing is spouting thier unsolicited advice about a topic they are not familiar with I would do a little research myself on the subject and maybe it would work. Besides what else do I have to do since I don't have any other plan in place.


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After some research I found that yes high doses of vitamin E and B-Complex vitamins along with a high dose of vitamin C, Zinc & Copper, and L-arginine have shown to increase fertility in both males and females. Studies have shown that the various vitmains have helped increase sperm count, motility and increased the number of couples that conceived. For females it has shown that it helps to regulate your hormones/period and produce healthier eggs. Although we still have the major issue with 1% morphology which still puts us in the IF with ICSI category but maybe they help with that as well and can allow us to try IUI which would be cheaper.

So the Experiment is we will take the high dose of vitamins for the next 3 months and then have Mr. EB redo his SA to see how his sperm are looking since it takes 3 months to regenerate new sperm. If this works awesome, if it doesn't work then it wasn't all that expensive and doesn't hurt anything or set our timeline back any for future IVF/ICSI attempts. Mr. EB wants to lose about 40 lbs so maybe in that time he will be able to lose some if not all, since he is a guy and can lose weight if he thinks about dieting, and I would love to lose about 10 to 15 lbs as well so in 3 months we should be a couple of hotties hopped up on vitamins!!

Updates...

Hey everyone. I'm back - I needed to take a step back from everything & evaluate my options after my breakdown post last week. I wanted to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart to everyone for all the thoughts & prayers sent my way. It's just so disheartening that all of this is happening to me...to us. I know that many women have bigger problems on their hands TTC & I feel selfish, but I can't help but feel horribly for myself and my Mr. Worry Bud. Of course he is amazing & tells me that everything will be okay, I just need to be patient. :o) But, I guess it's the fact that I never ever thought I would encounter any road blocks in my TTC journey (who does?), so it was hard for me to accept that something not right is going on & it was all weighing heavy on my heart.

I am so fortunate to have a coworker who can relate to my situation - she is encountering some difficulty TTC, so she and I talk a lot about everything we both have going on. She gave me a referral to her RE to start getting tested & *hopefully* find out what's going on. She (like many other women on my favorite message board) said that she thinks I should just go straight to an RE since they specialize in fertility & they can most likely provide the best help. IDK why, but I have this fear that the Dr. & I will sit down to talk and he will be like you have been trying how long? Uhhh, why are you wasting my time? Then bust out laughing at me for being a crazy baby-obsessed woman (Or something along those lines)!

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I know, I have absolutely NO reason to even think like that, but for some reason...I do. So after thinking long & hard about everything going on, I decided to take that step & call the RE. I am hoping this new Dr. will help me to figure out what's going on & get me pregnant ASAP! I can't wait to bring a little miracle into this world...and make my husband the happiest man in the world (again!). My appointment is coming up here quickly on November 3rd & I am both excited & scared at the same time. But, Mr. WB will be there with me & I know know he will help me to remain somewhat calm.

In other news, I was talking to my older sister yesterday (she's older by like 2.5 years) & she said she & her husband are about to start trying for baby #2. I hate feeling like this, but I am SUPER jealous...I wanted to be the next to get pregnant & I still may be, but still...hmph! I mean, don't get me wrong - I love my sister & I love my nephew & it'll be great to have another little niece or nephew, but I wanted to be the next one - you know what I mean? My nephew was an accident - in fact, she wasn't even married to her now husband at the time, so she said as soon as she gets off BCPs she will probably get KU again. Which means, we may be pregnant at the same time if all goes well with my RE! In a way that would be cool, but I also wanted to be the PG one! It would be my 1st though, so I have some satisfaction in that fact, lol. I'm literally LOL'ing as I type this b/c I sound sooo ridiculous saying all of this. Really, I'll be happy for my sister, just a little sad if she is pregnant AGAIN before we even get pregnant for the first time!

That's all I got for now - I am on CD6...still spotting from AF's appearance last week. I took a break from temping during her visit to see if I was less stressed not doing it & it honestly makes no difference. I don't think it's charting that stresses me out - it's the fact that my LPs have consistently been alarmingly short for the past 4 months & nothing I do is helping that is stressing me out. I also added in vitex this cycle, but I hear it sometimes takes several cycles for it to kick in so we shall see how that goes.

Just hanging out & hanging in there...

Today I'm on CD 9....still taking the B6, drinking green tea & just hanging out...waiting to O. I would really love it if my LP would correct itself, but I'm so impatient that I do NOT wanna wait for that. If you remember in my last post I was trying to figure out whether I should try to go to another GYN & get a 2nd opinion on waiting it out 3 more months before going in about my short LP, or if I should just wait it out & hope hope hope my GYN was right. Well the day after I posted that & after much thought, I decided to go ahead and call my PCP to go in for my annual physical & try to see if they would give me a few blood tests I wanted. Well when I called to make the appt. the receptionist asked if I needed a pap smear & I said no, but I was surprised b/c I either: a) never knew my PCP also provided GYN services, or b) I forgot. So I told the receptionist that I'd like to speak with the Dr. about reproductive concerns though & she said that I could absolutely talk to my Dr. about that at the appt. My appt. is October 9th & I can't wait! When I go in I am going to ask that my progesterone, iron & thyroid levels be checked. I am hoping that whatever the problem is, it is something that can easily be fixed & that I get a BFP soon. Please pray for me that my Dr. is proactive & doesn't want to make me wait the next 3 months out like my GYN does...I would love to get a BFP before the end of this year, perhaps around the holidays - what a Christmas gift that would be!

In other news, my fellow 1WW (1 week wait) sistah on the internet message board I frequent - we joke about our 1WW b/c we have both had short LP issues since being off BCPs... hers have not been quite as bad as mine, but short nonetheless - just got a very faint line this morning, but I saw it in the pic she posted...it was faint, but there & you know what they say: "A line is a line"! We are all 99.99% sure (waiting on a blood test to confirm) she got her BFP this morning after several months of short LPs & recently being put on Prometrium to supplement her progesterone levels. I was SOOOO 'effing happy to see that from her b/c it seriously gives me hope! Congrats woman, you know who you are! OH how I hope it's that simple a fix for me too & I get whatever drug I need to fix my LP & we get KU soon!

Also, I went to watch the season premiere of Desperate Housewives last night with my 19 weeks pg BFF (they all seem to be new mommies or KU except me of course....or maybe it's just how I feel right now)...she finds out what the sex is this Friday! I am so happy for her & she has had such a rough time with being sick thru out the pregnancy that this is actually the first time I have seen her since early June (before she even knew she was pg). And of course, she is starting to get a little bump, which is so freakin' adorable! This is not her, but a good example of about how big her bump is:

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I am so happy for her, especially since she had some early spotting & was worried about m/c, but I am a little sad for myself since she & I had always said that we wanted to get pregnant together. It's not completely out of the question, but we would be pretty far apart even if I got KU in the next few months...and I guess God had other plans in mind for me, so I am just praying that he blesses Mr. Worry Bud & I with a baby soon. In the mean time, I will keeping hoping & praying with everything I have in me that God sees fit to bless us with a little one soon! Stay tuned...hopefully the next few weeks will bring good news!

Hopes Dashed

In my last post I talked about my crazy short LP & how I called my Dr. When I left off, I was waiting on a call back from the Dr. after reviewing my charts. Well they did & they called me back today - the final verdict? To wait it out - yep, just wait, at least 3 more months. She told me to that's it's a bit too early to start being concerned about any issues when I have only been off BCPs for 3 cycles. I told my girls on the internet message board I frequent & they suggested I go talk to another GYN or an RE. I tried to make excuses for why I couldn't do that - all the offices in my area have long waits or aren't accepting new patients, but they weren't having it! I got a recommendation from one of the women who lives in my area for her OB/GYN, and it seems like a very proactive practice!

I am actually really torn on what I should do about this. Part of me says to just take the plunge & see if I can get in with this other OB/GYN, part of me says to wait it out maybe just one more cycle since my GYN DID tell me to be off the pill @ least 1 cycle before TTC, which I never really gave myself, so technically it would really be cycle #3 TTC I am on now. Yet another part of me says to wait it out & see what happens in the next 3 months - I really did just recently get off the pill & I lost weight while on it - about 40 lbs total. I read in TCOYF that women who lost weight while on hormonal BC usually take a bit longer to regulate after stopping BC.

One thing you should know about me is that I am VERY, I mean extremely indecisive. I will make up my mind about something, then change it 10,897,564 times in a day, or even in an hour. LOL. Another thing, I'm sorta stubborn...sometimes to a fault. So today, before I left work, I had decided I would at least try & call other Drs. to see if I could get in for an initial consultation, but then I had my usual 1.5 hour commute home on our Nation Capital's wonderful Metro & had even more time to second guess my decision. It can be a gift & a curse - the metro - it sometimes gives me too much time to fight myself over life decisions....and I have made plenty on this here method of public transportation, lol!

*DC Metro - I commute on here 3x a week*
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When I got home Mr. Worry Bud & I took a drive to pick up some take out & we discussed the options. He thinks I should either go to a new GYN or to my primary care physician (PCP) & at least get the blood tests done I am concerned about so that I can have peace of mind. I am actually due for a physical & I am sure they will be drawing blood at that time, so it wouldn't hurt to ask them to test my progesterone & iron levels. So as of right now, that's the plan - to get those two things checked out at my normal physical & if there are irregularities then I will re-adjust my plan to figure out what my next step is. I am going to remain on B6 throughout this time & continue charting my cycles. All I know is that I am pretty much willing to do whatever it takes to get pregnant with a healthy baby at this point, so I am going to pray really hard tonight that God hears me & helps calm my heart & grants my prayer for a happy, healthy baby soon. Wish me luck & send any spare thought & prayers you have my way!

Well that sucked....

Yep - got my period...at 4 DPO. The B6 helped lengthen my LP by.....drum roll please...1 day. I'm not sure if it was even the B6 or if it was just my body's randomness. And man is AF here in full force - I have had the heaviest bleeding & most painful cramps since coming off BCPs in June. Uggh, it's just so depressing. I try not to be down, I try to tell myself it's fine, it's only my 3rd cycle & I was on BCPs for 12 years on & off, and it's just my body re-adjusting to being off of BC. I told myself after my last pitiful LP that if cycle 3's LP was still alarmingly short then I'd call my Dr. & try to get in for an appointment to discuss how to correct my apparent Luteal Phase Defect (LPD). So that's what I did this morning - despite this being the BUSIEST time of year at work, I took time out today & called my Dr. because this is just soooo much more important to me than anything else right now. I decided to leave a message for the nurse before just making an appointment. I was pleasantly surprised when the nurse asked to see my charts from my last 3 cycles. It made me happy that it seemed like she took my concern seriously and that she was supportive of charting (I hear some Drs. are not). So I faxed my charts over and she said after a nurse reviews them then they will give me a call back to discuss my appointment options, so I am expecting a call tomorrow! I am so happy that I went ahead and called & am hoping that we can find something to help me out here!

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On another note - I love Mr. Worry Bud soooo much! He is so incredibly supportive & has been so great to me while I work through my emotions on this whole thing! I just feel so lucky to have a husband who loves and supports me no matter what (& no matter how annoying I am or talk about babies)! He is truly a wonderful man & I know he is going to make an amazing father one day!

The good news is (I'm trying to be optimistic) - everything I have read about LPDs say that it's nothing to be too concerned about - that it is normally very simple to correct and that is very common after coming off hormonal BC, so I am hoping all of that is true! You can find more information on LPDs at babyhopes.com; this is a helpful article I found that explained it all a bit better to me. I'll keep everyone updated on what my Dr. says & hopefully I am one step closer to what all of us Buds want - a BFP & healthy baby!

I think I'm "there" again...

...in the 2WW that is. I got a + OPK last night & I'm happy to report lots of EWCM - I think that the green tea I have been drinking daily helped with that! This morning when I woke up my temp jumped up above where I believe my cover line will eventually be. So now I'm just waiting on FF to confirm what I think was my O date - yesterday. I'm excited because I know our timing was awesome & I O'd way earlier than last cycle when I O'd on CD 29 & had a 'effing 3 day LP. So I'm just hoping and praying the B6 I have been taking will help with my LP & it'll be up to or at least closer to a normal length! I am feeling optimistic about this cycle & I think it has to do with my new approach to TTC - a more laid back one. Hopefully this 2WW will go by quickly & I am even more hopeful it'll end in a BFP, woo hoo! That's all for now...nothing much going on, but I'll be sure to report back later on to let you know how my 2WW is going.

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PS - many on the TTC message board I belong to were asking what about the green tea I was drinking, so here is the info:

• I drink about 1 cup per day, the hot tea
  
• I drink the decaf version (caffeine makes me loony/hyper) & also because caffeine is not necessarily good for you when TTC
• I use a little honey and 1 packet of sweet & low
• I haven't decided if I will continue to drink it during the 2WW or not, but I most likely will every few days or so