FF surprised me this morning with dashed cross hairs. I'm not sure I agree completely, as there really hasn't been any other fertility signs. No EWCM, only one day of even watery CM. But the thermal shift is there. It can't be denied.
I'm not sure what to think at the moment. I've never ovulated this early. Ever. On the one hand, if I did O, huzzah I can O on my own. It would tell me that the Provera did it's job admirably, and, an added plus, our timing would have been pretty good. Which could mean a baby. Without Clomid. Without mass amounts of difficulty.
On the other, if its wrong, it's, well, wrong. Which means I didn't O, which means I still might not. I don't like the uncertainty.
If my temp stays up tomorrow, I'll officially consider myself in the 2ww and buy a few HPT's. Actually, I may not. I have a tendency to get over-eager and test way before I should. Mr. Cherry Bud, who knows nothing about charting but knows what DPO means, has gotten in the habit of asking "12 DPO??" and if the answer is no, refusing me access to HPT's. It's for my own good, and the good of our bank account, really.
So, here's to the idea that Baby Cherry Bud is already beginning to take up residency in his/her new home.
Yours Apprehensively,
Cherry Bud
Showing posts with label FF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FF. Show all posts
August 5, 2010
July 30, 2010
FF and Ovulation Fairies
I'm staring at my FF chart.
I think I'm actually hoping that it's going to tell me something I don't already know. I do have a tendency to treat it like one of these:
Photo credit: Tinypic.com
"Oh, FF, will I O this month?" shake shake shake Uncertain. Try back in ten to fifteen days
What use are you, Fertility Friend, if you can't tell me my future? That is not what friends do.
Right now, I think I'm just dreading another cycle like the last one, even though all signs (you know, all seven days of them) point to a cycle that is going perfectly. Suspiciously perfectly. I don't trust AF at all, to be honest. It would completely like her to go away to lull me into a false sense of security and then slam me with three days of medium flow madness. I'm on to you, AF.
On the other hand, the sweet RN who went over Provera with me told me "Well, dear." She calls me dear. I love her. "Well, dear, Provera can sometimes just give your system a jumpstart and help it regulate itself. There's every chance that will happen." So there that is.
So here I am, begging the ovulation fairies (who totally exist. They live with the BFP fairies) for a temp rise. At some point. Not right now, because that would be completely counterproductive, but you know, in a week or two, after lots of BD-ing has happened.
On an almost unrelated note, Dinner with Mr. Cherry Bud's family tonight. I think I may play a (non-alcoholic) drinking game regarding how many times someone tells me that I will get pregnant as soon as we stop trying. Or when we least expect it.
On a completely unrelated note, I kind of want to see Inception again because how amazing is Leonardo Dicaprio? So amazing, that's how much. Almost as amazing as Christopher Nolan, the genius.
January 11, 2010
Surrounded
Surrounded is how I felt yesterday. Surrounded by reminders. Reminders that I am not pregnant.
Mr. Sassy Bud and I are close friends with another couple. They moved here about 4 years ago from Europe because he works for an automotive supplier with a company that has US locations in my area. We met this couple through mutual friends soon after they moved here, and it turned out they lived almost across the street from Mr. Sassy Bud and me. She is the only one of my friends I told about TTC. We wanted to have children close in age, and thought it would be fun to be pregnant together, but she wasn't quite ready to start TTC yet when we had our first conversation about it.
So, here we are, a year after I told her we were TTC. She stopped BCP in August, and got pregnant immediately. When her H told his employer last month that they were expecting, they got an unexpected response. They have to leave the U.S., soon. Of course I had planned on throwing her a baby shower, now it will just have to be much earlier than I had anticipated. The past week I've spent my free time searching for invitations, gathering addresses, addressing, planning, rushing.
Yesterday the four of us took a trip to Babies"R"Us to register for her shower. Aisles and aisles of baby products, baby clothes, pregnant women, and babies. I think I did a good job of showing her things I thought she would need, and wearing a smile throughout the day. I've become good at hiding my feelings throughout this process. In reality, I felt like I was suffocating. Why doesn't someone just give me a big glowing sign that says "Hi, my name is Sassy Bud, and my body doesn't work."
I did make it through the 2 hour BRU excursion. The good part was that I was able to spend time with some great friends that will be leaving soon. I also got to help pick out a lot of her registry items, and since I'm a shopaholic, that was exciting for me. She deserves to be pregnant, just like all women (with a few exceptions) and she will be an amazing mother. This is what I remind myself when I feel bitter.
After BRU we went to a maternity store to look for an outfit for her shower. I ended up just standing in a daze while she tried on outfits. I think the stress from the day finally hit me, and my body was not happy with me. I had extreme lower back pain, to the point where it was excruciating to even walk, along with a migrane. I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening in bed. It's amazing what stress can do to you physically.
I feel better today, thankfully. I have to focus on school, and that is very helpful in keeping my mind off of "other" things. In fact, this will probably be the most difficult semester I will have during my law school career, in terms of workload. Each week I have several hundred pages of reading, along with case briefs, analysis, charts, papers due, and research. It's a welcome distraction, and I am devoting myself fully to it.
If nothing else, it will keep me from staring at my chart every 5 minutes.
Mr. Sassy Bud and I are close friends with another couple. They moved here about 4 years ago from Europe because he works for an automotive supplier with a company that has US locations in my area. We met this couple through mutual friends soon after they moved here, and it turned out they lived almost across the street from Mr. Sassy Bud and me. She is the only one of my friends I told about TTC. We wanted to have children close in age, and thought it would be fun to be pregnant together, but she wasn't quite ready to start TTC yet when we had our first conversation about it.
So, here we are, a year after I told her we were TTC. She stopped BCP in August, and got pregnant immediately. When her H told his employer last month that they were expecting, they got an unexpected response. They have to leave the U.S., soon. Of course I had planned on throwing her a baby shower, now it will just have to be much earlier than I had anticipated. The past week I've spent my free time searching for invitations, gathering addresses, addressing, planning, rushing.
Yesterday the four of us took a trip to Babies"R"Us to register for her shower. Aisles and aisles of baby products, baby clothes, pregnant women, and babies. I think I did a good job of showing her things I thought she would need, and wearing a smile throughout the day. I've become good at hiding my feelings throughout this process. In reality, I felt like I was suffocating. Why doesn't someone just give me a big glowing sign that says "Hi, my name is Sassy Bud, and my body doesn't work."
I did make it through the 2 hour BRU excursion. The good part was that I was able to spend time with some great friends that will be leaving soon. I also got to help pick out a lot of her registry items, and since I'm a shopaholic, that was exciting for me. She deserves to be pregnant, just like all women (with a few exceptions) and she will be an amazing mother. This is what I remind myself when I feel bitter.
After BRU we went to a maternity store to look for an outfit for her shower. I ended up just standing in a daze while she tried on outfits. I think the stress from the day finally hit me, and my body was not happy with me. I had extreme lower back pain, to the point where it was excruciating to even walk, along with a migrane. I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening in bed. It's amazing what stress can do to you physically.
I feel better today, thankfully. I have to focus on school, and that is very helpful in keeping my mind off of "other" things. In fact, this will probably be the most difficult semester I will have during my law school career, in terms of workload. Each week I have several hundred pages of reading, along with case briefs, analysis, charts, papers due, and research. It's a welcome distraction, and I am devoting myself fully to it.
If nothing else, it will keep me from staring at my chart every 5 minutes.
October 15, 2009
My BFP Chart
Because I know that you are all dying to know, right?
Although I'm not entirely convinced that I O'd on Day 18 simply because the EWCM was only once and could have been something else. BUT I did have ovulation pain on days 15, 16, and 18 so maybe Day 18 is right. My skin broke out a lot more than normal this month, which is very strange because I was only stressed on days 11, 12, and 14 (can you tell I was stressed from our first month TTC?) I did start getting headaches but the weather is changing here so I'm sure that was more from sinus pressure than anything else.
Although I'm not entirely convinced that I O'd on Day 18 simply because the EWCM was only once and could have been something else. BUT I did have ovulation pain on days 15, 16, and 18 so maybe Day 18 is right. My skin broke out a lot more than normal this month, which is very strange because I was only stressed on days 11, 12, and 14 (can you tell I was stressed from our first month TTC?) I did start getting headaches but the weather is changing here so I'm sure that was more from sinus pressure than anything else.
I did start noticing I was more hungry than normal starting on 5 DPO. I also got heartburn on 6 DPO, I NEVER get heartburn, NEVER! It was quite unusual and probably the first sign where I thought, "I might be pregnant!" Nontheless, I will always remember September 2009 as the start of a great adventure in my life.
Faith, Love and Baby Flutters
Mrs. BrainyBud
October 2, 2009
October..
is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I am so happy to see that there are so many companies and organizations that are holding fund raisers and different events to try to help raise money to help find a cure. Ladies this hits many of our hearts as many of us either have families or know of someone that have been a affect by this terrible, cruel, and scary disease.
Please educate yourself and anyone that you might know... your sister, friend co-worker anyone. Here is a wonderful site that you can reference off and has tons of great information.
Other than that I really do not have much to report today except that I tested yesterday and got a BFN. So now I am either going to wait until AF shows up or I am a day late.
My chart looks promising and I keep hoping it is, Here is my current cycle with my BFP cycle:
Photo Credit
Please educate yourself and anyone that you might know... your sister, friend co-worker anyone. Here is a wonderful site that you can reference off and has tons of great information.
Other than that I really do not have much to report today except that I tested yesterday and got a BFN. So now I am either going to wait until AF shows up or I am a day late.
My chart looks promising and I keep hoping it is, Here is my current cycle with my BFP cycle:
Photo CreditI am praying that this morning's tiny temperature rise is a good sign.
Have a wonderful weekend and remember.. think Pink!!!
October 1, 2009
What the?
Dear FF,
Please quit moving my crosshairs. You have made me very sad because I have always O'd between days 14 and 16, thereby BDing on days 12, 14, 15, and 17 made perfect sense but now that you've decided to screw with my 1st Cycle of TTC and changed it to stinkin' day 18, I have a much lower chance. You see, even if I am scared to be pregnant, I still WANT to be, so please, work with me, mmmkay?
Sincerely,
Gracious Brainy Bud
September 24, 2009
Trying to stay calm through the wait
Last week I thought I was half way through the dreaded 2WW, but then the evil FF decided to change my ovulation date by four days, so NOW, "I think", I am half way through this waiting game. I've been trying really hard not to over think every "symptom" or "feeling" but I'm only human. I just wish my symptoms were the same every month so that I will stop getting my hopes up. Last cycle I had extremely sensitive nipples (which was new for me) so I started thinking "maybe it's a pregnancy sign." This week my whole boobs have been sore every morning, so now I'm thinking "maybe it's an early pregnancy sign." Despite these "symptoms" and the change in O date, I feel surprisingly calm this cycle. The only thing I can contribute this new calmness to is my faith. I've been spending more time in prayer and with people who are praying for us. I take comfort in knowing that God already knows our Little Hopeful Bud's name, birthdate and everything about him or her. It is not for me to know when we will be blessed with this miracle. I can only wait and prepare my body, heart, and head for this blessing.
Along these same lines, this week Mr. Hopeful Bud came into the house and said, "I think we should go on a mission trip. We are so blessed and I really think this is something that we should do to give back." I went to Honduras a couple years ago on a mission trip and I can whole-heartily say that it was a life-changing experience in more then one way. I would love for Mr. Hopeful Bud and I to share in a similar experience. So I think part of my calmness also comes from the idea that maybe we are meant to take this trip before we get our BFP because once we do it wouldn't be safe for me to go to a third-world country.
I say all this today with a calmness in my heart. Tomorrow or months from now I could have a completely different tone. We have been TTC for nine months and I am still hopeful that it will happen in God's timing.
Along these same lines, this week Mr. Hopeful Bud came into the house and said, "I think we should go on a mission trip. We are so blessed and I really think this is something that we should do to give back." I went to Honduras a couple years ago on a mission trip and I can whole-heartily say that it was a life-changing experience in more then one way. I would love for Mr. Hopeful Bud and I to share in a similar experience. So I think part of my calmness also comes from the idea that maybe we are meant to take this trip before we get our BFP because once we do it wouldn't be safe for me to go to a third-world country.
I say all this today with a calmness in my heart. Tomorrow or months from now I could have a completely different tone. We have been TTC for nine months and I am still hopeful that it will happen in God's timing.
September 22, 2009
This cycle can bite the dust....
Mr. Bud came home from a business trip feeling under the weather and ended up with having a fever all Sunday and Monday. He was so sick, boogers were flying everywhere the poor thing. All I could do is spray Lysol on everything!
This cycle my chart was following the exact pattern from my last BFP cycle so I knew I was going to O either on Sunday night or Monday. Plus I have been drinking Green Tea which I noticed an increase of cm around my O date.
Here is my chart overlay, The green line represents the BFP month and the Purple line represents this month. Its following the exact same pattern...
We BD On Friday, but I do not think his little guys survived all the way until Sunday/Monday.
I have been waiting for this day for a while and planning it out and already hoping that the 2ww would hurry up and pass so that I can poas and hope to see 'Pregnant', but since Mr. Bud was out sick we would have to wait for the next cycle.
Truthfully I was really sad and down all Monday that we were not going to try but I had snap out of it really quick and realize that Mr. Bud is not my Sperm bank/Sex Machine/Baby making tool. Right now I had to put this on hold and take care of him, don't get me wrong the thought of tying him down and jumping on him did cross my head but this is a special moment for both of us.
Sometimes we get baby making in our heads and do nothing but think of this and want this and if something gets in the way destroy it and I was doing this all Sunday night and Monday. I even realized that I was giving him an attitude on Monday, which was so wrong of me... Its not his fault that he got sick.
This cycle my chart was following the exact pattern from my last BFP cycle so I knew I was going to O either on Sunday night or Monday. Plus I have been drinking Green Tea which I noticed an increase of cm around my O date.
Here is my chart overlay, The green line represents the BFP month and the Purple line represents this month. Its following the exact same pattern...
We BD On Friday, but I do not think his little guys survived all the way until Sunday/Monday.I have been waiting for this day for a while and planning it out and already hoping that the 2ww would hurry up and pass so that I can poas and hope to see 'Pregnant', but since Mr. Bud was out sick we would have to wait for the next cycle.
Truthfully I was really sad and down all Monday that we were not going to try but I had snap out of it really quick and realize that Mr. Bud is not my Sperm bank/Sex Machine/Baby making tool. Right now I had to put this on hold and take care of him, don't get me wrong the thought of tying him down and jumping on him did cross my head but this is a special moment for both of us.
Sometimes we get baby making in our heads and do nothing but think of this and want this and if something gets in the way destroy it and I was doing this all Sunday night and Monday. I even realized that I was giving him an attitude on Monday, which was so wrong of me... Its not his fault that he got sick.
Now when I think of Mr. Bud all I can think about is him being my...
Off to the next month!
September 9, 2009
AF has decided to visit on Labor Day weekend
but that is absolutely fine with me!!! I have never been so happy to see her butt.
So now I am in full throttle mode with chartting and checking my CM. Since FF did not pinpoint my O date last month I bought opk's for this month to make sure we do not miss the day. Meanwhile I have 9/20-9/22 Highlighted in all of our calenders to make sure I do not forget (as if I'm going to forget this LOL).
What really stinks is Mr. Bud is going out of town 9/15-9/18 and I really hope that I do not ovulate on any of those days :( . I was calculating if I continue to ovulate as I have in the pass on the 16Th day after my AF we should be fine, Right? However this month my period was a lot shorter than my other periods so I'm hoping this does not shorten my ovulation date from 16 days after af to 14-15 days.
Here is my chart on FF and its showing Monday 9/21...
Ugh... I guess I will be POAS a lot this month until I see a little happy face which means its action time!! :)
I will leave you with a great calender picture, isn't he a hottie??
Only in diapers and all, to cute!!
Credit
So now I am in full throttle mode with chartting and checking my CM. Since FF did not pinpoint my O date last month I bought opk's for this month to make sure we do not miss the day. Meanwhile I have 9/20-9/22 Highlighted in all of our calenders to make sure I do not forget (as if I'm going to forget this LOL).
What really stinks is Mr. Bud is going out of town 9/15-9/18 and I really hope that I do not ovulate on any of those days :( . I was calculating if I continue to ovulate as I have in the pass on the 16Th day after my AF we should be fine, Right? However this month my period was a lot shorter than my other periods so I'm hoping this does not shorten my ovulation date from 16 days after af to 14-15 days.
Here is my chart on FF and its showing Monday 9/21...
Ugh... I guess I will be POAS a lot this month until I see a little happy face which means its action time!! :)
I will leave you with a great calender picture, isn't he a hottie??
Only in diapers and all, to cute!!
Credit
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