A Baby, Maybe?

It is so close I can taste it......yet at the same time, I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch.

Last week on Wednesday, I submitted a resume for a full time position working for a reputable organization that has been ranked in the top 100 companies for working moms. The organization works with children, and has a fantastic benefit package for moms, and moms-to-be. I am 110% qualified for the position, and I know that I would love it. Despite the fact that it seemed perfect, I also needed to deal with the reality that I have been applying for full-time jobs in my field for 3 years and still have not gotten a permanent full-time position. I HOPE that my luck is changing. Less than 24 hours after submitting my resume I recieved a call to set up a phone interview! I am so excited! The phone interview is tomorrow, and while I know that it is still really early in the process, I am happy to have gotten the opportunity to interview......I just hope that this time around I don't have to deal with the let-down that usually follows. I have appreciated all of your support and thoughts and prayers thus far, but I am asking once again, to please send a lot of good vibes and prayers my way tomorrow. This would be an amazing opportunity for me, and a step in the right direction for my husband and I!

As for my Mr.Fitness Bud, he still doesn't have any offers on the table. :( It is frustrating, and I know that he keeps going back and forth between being optimistic and being discouraged. This week, I am choosing to be optimistic. I KNOW that this won't be forever. I KNOW that he will eventually find a job. I know 4 people that have been unemployed for longer than DH that all got jobs last week. I KNOW that Mr.Fitness Bud will knock someone's socks off someday soon, and we will be on our way! I KNOW that life ebbs and flows and that there are peaks and valleys, and that right now we are in the valley, but at some point, we will be on the mountain-top. I KNOW that despite how discouraged I have been at times, that this is not my lot in life, and that struggles can only overcome you if you let them. I know this, in large part, due to the encouragement and love that has been shown to us by friends like you.

I know that tomorrow I might feel a lot differently than I do today, but for the moment, I am going to dwell on the positive, and continue to have hope.

Maternity leave plan + 18 weeks!!

...I interrupt this regularly scheduled blogging to bring some GREAT news - this past weekend, I started feeling something I had heard described, but never knew if I'd actually know it if I felt it. The sensation of popcorn popping down low in my pelvic area. I am pretty positive that it is Baby Worry Bud moving around in there & I am soooo excited! Love her. It's still nothing I feel regularly, but it does happen a few times a day - it actually just happened a second ago. :) Keep moving away in there Baby WB!!

The past few weeks I have been working on trying to get a few things on my "Getting Ready for Baby Worry Bud" list done & it's a doozie! One of the more immediate things on my list was to really sit down & take a look at my job's maternity leave policy, then sit down with an HR representative to discuss my plan/options. I had that meeting on Monday, then spoke briefly with my first level supervisor (he's actually not really, he is just a team leader...it's complicated, lol), but the overall news is that everything with my leave looks like it'll work out how I'd hoped! God-willing, if this pregnancy continues to go smoothly & with relatively no complications that require me to cease working, then I plan to work up until my EDD. I can work past that if Baby WB does not make an appearance before then - I'm actually halfway expecting her to be a little late - seems to happen with first time moms more often than not (barring any complications). Working up until/around my EDD will bring me to the beginning of November & I plan to take off 12 weeks for maternity leave. That means (much to my excitement), I'll be out on leave over all the major fall/winter holidays, including Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Years - yay! I have enough sick & annual leave to cover 11 weeks of paid time, so the final week I'll either take leave without pay (spaced out over several pay periods/weeks) or do five telework days during the last few weeks of my maternity leave, so that I can stay out of the office through the last full week in January. Also, since we are coming up on the busiest time of year in my industry, I may end up working some additional hours & getting some comp time this summer. And with the way my work load looks these days, it won't be a problem to accrue 40+ hours of comp time in the next 3 or so months. Hopefully things will calm down soon though, sigh.

This week, Baby WB is the size of a sweet potato (Photo Credit)! She's getting so big! The Bump confirms she's spending her time moving away in there - kicking, punching, rolling, hiccuping, twisting, etc. So cute. I wish I could have a look at her every day. :oP I am feeling pretty good still - just random aches & pains here & there (growing pains I think), heartburn, sore boobs, getting sleepy early. In other news, my side of the bed is turning into a pillow fortress. Poor Mr. WB can't even spoon me, which I know he LOVES to do! ;oP But even if he tried, it's physically impossible b/c I have pillow behind me (for back support), in front of me (belly support), two between my legs (hip/back support) & one under my head, hahaa. I REFUSE to buy one of those maternity pillow thingys b/c what in the heck will I do with it after the baby is born? And I despise clutter...so regular pillows it is for me!

I think people who don't really know if I'm pregnant (mostly at work) or not, are really starting to notice this week. A few people have asked me that oh so uncomfortable question - are you pregnant or uhhhh...? I feel like that's a DANGEROUS question to ask a woman, you know? So I never ask people, I just wait patiently for the "popping" of the bump (or for the person to talk about the baby), LOL. I think maybe the "popping" has started happening with me! Here is this week's bump pic @ 18 weeks exactly:


I'm in maternity pants/jeans full time (minus my yoga pants), my maternity shirts are still kinda big, but then my regular ones are getting a little short too! I am wearing my very first maternity dress this weekend to one of my good friend's wedding! The dress is so pretty & I'm excited for her wedding - I know she will be a breathtaking bride!! Then, next week we get our official anatomy scan, after which, I plan on ordering Baby WB's bedding & we are going to register for Baby WB's shower!! Can't wait to see my little girl again! Until next time!

Chart Obsessing

I am hopefully entering another 2ww this weekend. My temps have been all over the place this cycle. I have some problems with anxiety, and it was in full force for a while last week. I'm sure this had something to do with my temps being so high. I woke up several days with my heart pounding out of my chest. I have no real reason for it either, just normal life stress. This is what anxiety has done to my chart:

It looks kind of like an EKG!

I was afraid that the anxiety issues would delay ovulation, but I think I actually may have another normal cycle. The other night, I actually had EWCM! I have not had any since coming off of BCP. I switched to drinking green tea instead of taking the supplements this cycle, so I will attribute my fertile CM to that.

I also got a +OPK yesterday, along with 2 consistent higher temps. I doubt FF will take into account my "high stress" markings for the beginning of the cycle, but I will override it if I have to. As a fellow GP'er reminded me, beautiful charts mean nothing. They are just used to confirm O and measure your LP.

I won't stop temping after O though, because no matter the outcome, I like to submit my charts to the gallery to hopefully help others learn about their cycles.

This is my 13th month TTC. Sometimes it is hard to stay positive, especially when others around you seem to be able to get pregnant so easily. I give a lot of credit on staying positive to Mr. Sassy Bud. He has been amazing through this whole process. He was ready for children much earlier than I was. However, he stayed patient and never pressured me to make the decision to TTC. He is always so encouraging to me, despite the crazy things that have gone on with my cycles since we started this journey. I feel very fortunate to have him in my life. I hope to be able to repay him by making him a father one day.

Last weekend I hosted the baby shower for my friend that is moving away. It was so nice to be able to give her and her husband that memory before they leave. She got so many great gifts! I decided not to have any games at the shower because they are not really my thing. I think people spend enough time eating and watching the gifts being opened, that it is not necessary to make them suffer through doing silly things. Apparently the girls that attended agreed with me, because they all thanked me for not making them play games! Instead, we gave a few gift baskets away by placing stickers under the plates. Quick and easy, just my style.

So, here's hoping my temps stay up, and AF stays away!