Second Round of Blood Work

Today I had my second round of blood work to check my Progesterone levels to see if I could stay off the shots. Well, sadly no I get to go back to shots for the remainder of the time. My Progesterone dropped from 94 the prior week to 6. So after scrambling calling two seperate pharmacies I was able to get an old prescription filled from last time at a pharmacy down the road and my current prescription will arrive on Wednesday. One thing I didn't realize was the old prescription was 50mg/ml and the new one is 100 mg/ml which means I would need to take 2 cc's of the old one to match the new prescription. So I got to have a shot twice in one day!! Next time I will study those labels better!!! Great news though my HCG level is at 3,100!!! So that is great and I am excited to see what the ultrasound shows next week.

Update Hormone Bloodwork

August 1st I went in and had my hormone levels and thyroid rechecked. My Testosterone level was 100, Estridol was 60 and my Thyroid levels were in the normal range (don't remember at the moment). So I asked the nurse if these were levels that we could start another round of IVF or if we would need to wait longer. She spoke with the RE and he said the next month we would be able to start!! Jump forward to now..... We are on day 4 of our 4th IVF cycle. We are doing an Antagon stimming cycle so I am taking Repronex 3 vials each day for about 10 days. On Monday the 3rd I will go in and do my second blood draw to check hormone levels and an ultrasound to see how the eggs are growing. If things are going good we will wait and be seen a few days later to determine when I will need to take the Lupron shot (trigger shot) so we can do the retrieval. I think, if all goes on schedule, we will be doing the retrieval on Monday, September 10th. I am feeling great and am still doing weekly acupuncture appointments, taking the following herbs: Menotrol(in place of Metformin) and Blossoms 1 - 4(depending upon which week of my cycle I am on on). I feel at peace with this last round of IVF because I feel like we have tried everything that is out there and I know that we have given it our best shot and getting pregnant.

Results are In

I called the RE's office and got my blood test results and my levels are all too high to do IVF in July. He is bumping my Thyroid up to get my levels back to 1 as well. I can retest in 2 months to see if they are low enough to try again. Estrodial: 70 Testosterone: 166 T3: 3.3 TSH: 3.43 Bummer but it does give me more time to be doing Acupuncture, get off sugar and get into shape. Maybe I will be more motivated than I have been to do these things but the past 6 months I have not been motivated to do anything healthy. I really think I have been in a pity party slump for awhile now but still trying to carry on with my daily life. I have been praying, as always, to get an answer about doing another round of IVF and what other things I should be doing to improve my chances. So maybe this is an answer in giving me more time to get my act together and be the healthiest I can be. I went to the acupuncturist today and we talked about herbs and how they may interact with Metformin and he didn't feel like it would be a good idea. I think I will still go and see the other acupuncturist that my MIL's waxing girl went to who sounds a lot more knowledgeable about diet and herbs than mine to have a diet/nutrition consultation.

Blood Work Check

I went in today for my Hormone level check to see if they have dropped down low enough from my Bioidentical Hormone Treatments to start IVF next month. If so I will start back on BCP's and probably start injections sometime in July. If not we will just wait another month and retest the hormone levels. Mr. EB and I just got back from a week in Hawaii relaxing and enjoying doing nothing. A great way to relax before IVF!! Oh I have been doing the Ovulation tests and so far I have a faint line on all of them but nowhere near as dark as the base line is. We are on day 18 so I am going to stop testing when I run out of test strips.

Ups and Downs

Things are going pretty well over here in SB Land. I had my weekly doctor's appointment (went from twice a week to once a week). My blood pressure was 118/62 and there was trace levels of protein in my urine. No swelling, no weird vision. I fully understand that this can take a turn at any time, but I am hoping with two good doctor's appointments under my belt, this is more of an indication that I can make it to 37 weeks. Dr. B even suggested that I can take my appointments to twice a month now. I declined simply because of the fact that I am a spaz.

Speaking of being a spaz......

I had my second growth ultrasound two Saturdays ago. Since the diagnosis, they want to make sure the baby is still growing and getting everything he needs. So I go about once every 4 weeks to go and get him checked out now. Dude, our baby is getting what he needs and plenty more of it where that came from. HE IS BIG! In the 81st percentile for his growth and at 31 weeks he was weighing in at about 4.5 lbs. No surprise really. Mr. SB was an 8 pounder and I was a 9 pounder so to think our baby was going to small was pretty much a figment of our imaginations.

Well, during this appointment, I noticed the tech taking extra pictures of the baby's head (which by the way is measuring 4 weeks ahead!!!!) and measuring it. This let me into hysterics because I was convinced she was doing all of these measurements because the baby is brain damaged. Rational and logic aside (umm, her job is to measure - that's pretty much what we went in for), I was prepared to take in the bad news at my doctor's appointment. Needless to say, everything was fine and I will just add that instance to the list of why I will be the craziest mother on earth (If you are a hypochondriac, just wait until you get knocked up - then you have two people to obsess about).

However, pre e has not come without a few bumps in the road. I was in the ER twice in past week.

The first time was for high blood pressure that would not go down. Mr. SB and I went out for lunch and I don't know how to explain it but I just felt...off. We were going to go and finish up some baby shopping after, but I asked him to take me home - I didn't feel well. Once I got home, I took my blood pressure. It was sky effin' high. So I put my feet up, drank some water, and tested again - still high. Repeated this one more time and then called my doctor's office. They told me to come in.

Once in triage, my blood pressure went down to safe levels and all of my blood work came back normal. I was sent home with another 24 hour urine test to do (I'm such a pro at this now). My levels came back slightly elevated from last time, but nothing to be concerned about.

The second trip was because I am a little crazy and thought my water broke. I'm going to go all TMI on you guys here and tell you that holy mother of cats do I have a ton of discharge in my third trimester. Needless to say, my water is still in tact, but that didn't stop them from keeping me in triage for FOUR HOURS because my blood pressure was high (umm no shit - I thought my water broke). But I guess it is best to be monitored, and after a few blood tests and other blood pressure readings, I was sent home again.

Tomorrow I will officially be 33 weeks (which marks 6 weeks since my diagnosis of pre e). One week away from our first goal of 34 weeks and I must admit, it feels pretty good to have made it this far. Let's just hope that my body can endure this for 4 more weeks. Every day I am considering a blessing.

I'm going to leave this post on a positive note and say that I also had my baby shower this month. It was so cute! My cousin did a baby bird theme for me. Here are some pics:

Hormone Blood Work In

I finally got a call back about my hormone levels and it looks like I am way low on my total Testosterone (26 ng/dl), Free Testosterone (0.2 pg/mL) and Estradiol (24.7 pg/mL). Being so low in the Testosterone can explain many of my symptoms of being tired, spacey, low sex drive, dry skin, weight gain, etc, etc, etc!! My other hormones seem to be in good order. FSH (5.8 MIU/mL), Prolactin (10.5 ng/mL), TSH (2.01 uIU/mL), T4 (1.09 ng/dL), Triiodothyronine Free (4.0 pg/mL). My Sex Hormone Binding Globulin was high (165.6 nmol/L).

So I will go in and get the pellet inserted in my side Tuesday at 9:45 in the morning!! I am excited to start feeling better. I hope this works in getting me balanced and preparing my body to have a successful IVF in the summer.

The 2WW Continues

The 2 WW was supposed to be over on Wednesday with our blood test results came back with, as the Dr. put it, good and bad news. The good is I am pregnant the bad is that my HCG level is 10.5 and they want to see at least 30 for a viable pregnancy. My progesterone is great and my estridol is still a little low but overall he thinks is fine to keep a pregnancy. We get to wait now till Saturday to retake the blood test and see if the levels are doubling or dropping. Pretty much this will be a miracle if it works. I spent the rest of yesterday in bed sleeping and crying. To sum it up this is a crappy Christmas. Bah Humbug!!

2WW Blood Work & Random Thoughts

I think every time I call the Dr. with a question regarding my medication/treatment he has me come in for blood work. Not that I mind getting more information about my hormone levels so I will have peace of mind through this LOOOONNNNNGGG wait!! My question was about taking Estrace so late because in my previous two cycles I had started taking it before the transfer and this time I was going to start it 6 days after the transfer. So he had me come in to check my Estridol and Progesterone levels.
In I went to have my blood drawn,I got one of the good blood drawing nurses, and was told that they had just got two positive pregnancy tests that day from difficult IVF cycles. That helped me feel more confident that things will end up differently this time around. She was saying that she had read that laughter helped you to conceive, I have been doing a lot of that by keeping myself busy with friends and family. I actaully have a long list of things I do "just in case" they make this one stick:
- lay/sleep only on my back & slightly elevated upper body
- smell my husband to get lots of Pheromones
- laugh
- No heavy lifting
- Limited bending over
- Walk slowly
- No bouncing
- Keep distracted
Pretty much if someone gives me a "theory" I do it "just in case".

Back to my blood work. The nurse called back and said to that my Estridol levels were low at 34 and my Progesterone levels were great at 33.92. I was told I needed to start taking 4mg of Estrace instead of 2 mg and to start immediately. I am hoping that this has not affected the implantation or upcoming implantation of these embryos. I got varying information of the internet on what were normal levels and it doesn't seem that it is too far off for someone not on Estrogen supplementation. I am going with everything will be fine.

Okay, first I'd like to address Diva's post: GIRL...YES!!! It's so ironic that you posted that because a woman and I were talking about that very thing during lunch today. She's had an ectopic and is TTC. But I totally understand and agree. It's like when you buy a new car; you never see that model of your Toyota but then you buy one and they're everywhere! I see pregnant patients. Pregnant women on TV. In commercials. On Facebook. It's like an epidemic...and we're immune. *sigh*

It's been really hard these past couple of days looking at the BF since the baby shower. She's just so pregnant. And when she's not rubbing the belly, she's complaining about being pregnant. I want to tell her everytime she does, "wanna switch places?".

I got my labs back. Everything is normal so I'm happy about that. It would be nice to have a reason though. But oh well. They checked for lupus anticoagulant, factor v, thyroid, and chromosomal abnormalities. I wish they were able to tell me what all was being drawn before I got to the lab (I asked but the nurse couldn't give me many details) so that I could request a couple more. No biggie.

My BOTB has been in overdrive lately. I had to move some things from my baby box to something larger. Hehe. Other than some cute outfits, I have some pretty cool stuff. One of my coworkers had a Boppy pillow that she doesn't use anymore, I found a really nice sling for like $7 at a local baby consignment shop and before the first miscarriage one of my good friends gave me a nice photo frame with "now showing" on it. Oh yeah, and one of the girls doesn't want her glider/rocker or bouncy seat anymore and is going to give me those as well. Anyway it happens, I'm going to be rocking a child to sleep in that chair!

17 Week Update

Hello 17 weeks!

Belly Measurement/Weight: I am not sure if I have gained more since last week, we do not own a scale.

Physical Progress: My belly is a nice little rounded bump and I LOVE it!

How I am feeling about my body: I feel good most of the time. Sometimes my lower stomach area below my belly button gets really tight and it can be uncomfortable. Also, Baby loves to lay on my bladder so sometimes I have to go pee RIGHT NOW!

Cravings/Aversions: Raw meat smell gets to me lately, my cravings are the same though.

Energy Level: Pretty good, I still love naps though.

Baby Movement: Still a little movement, yay!

Thoughts/Feelings/Emotions: I am enjoying being pregnant. 17 weeks is almost halfway there. It is really exciting.

Mr. BB and I toured the birth center yesterday. We have to drive an hour and 10 minutes to get to this birth center but it seemed nice. We liked it a lot, the nurses we all really nice and the birth center is obviously really supportive of our plans. Visiting the birth center made me more excited to meet our baby.

I got my bloodwork results back from last week and there are no neural tube defects. I am so relieved our baby is healthy!

It has been a quiet week, but I like it. I will report more next week until then I will leave you with my 17 week picture:

16 Weeks

Belly Measurement/Weight: + 2!

Physical Progress: My midwife says my uterus is just below my belly button.

How I am feeling about my body: I still feel really good. I did get sun burnt today along with an itchy rash. Sun burn + itching = sucky!

Cravings/Aversions: I love chocolate milk lately and still candy.

Energy Level: Tired today from my allergic reaction to the sun.

Baby Movement: Yes! Just a little rolling feeling, so cool!

Thoughts/Feelings/Emotions: Still enjoying this pregnancy.

16 Week Appointment Update: I got a blood draw today for neural tube defects, not because I have any risk factors but because it is that time. I am still anxious about it though. I think I will call Monday and check for results. We scheduled our tour of the birth center/hospital for June 1st. Our anatomy scan as well as a fetal echocardiogram (due to the abnormal NT results) is July 6th. On June 8th we are going to a natural birth "expo" type thing where there will be counselors, people who specialize in wraps to show us, and a bunch of other stuff. It is free through the hospital! Lots of exciting stuff coming up. Plus next month I will be half way done!

Names: Our boy name is Asher, we are still working out a middle name. We really liked Mia for a girl name but it is in the top 10 for 2010 and that is WAY too common. I swear I have looked at every single name ever and we can't find one we love. Suggestions are welcome!

Pity Party - Table for 1

I was planning on posting today about Mr. TB's urology appointment, but all I can think about is my temp drop today.  I finally got the results of my 7DPO blood work yesterday.  My progesterone was 11.3, which is better that the previous 7.35, but not by enough.  Apparently they want to see +10 for a regular cycle, but +15 for a medicated cycle, which mine was.  The Dr. wasn't in today, but the nurse is going to talk to her and call me today.  I don't think she'll do anything because she said that the 7DPO b/w will be too late for this cycle, and she said that she doesn't want to do anything with progesterone until after I get my thyroid checked out with the endocrinologist, which won't be until the end of cycle 9.  

I know that may not sound like a long time, but we also just had to push our appointment with the RE back as well, because Mr. TB can't make our original appointment.  That appointment is now May 10th, which won't be until the start of cycle 11.  So I'm just having myself a pity party.  This cycle is probably a bust, and it feels like the next 2 will be as well. 

I've also been eating like crap the last 2 days.  I've been crazing junk food like none other - fries, chips, soda, etc.  I'm sure I'm putting on weight which I really can't afford to do.  I was hoping that the crazing might mean something (even though I know that's ridiculous) but now I'm just mad at myself for giving in.  Blah.

I have to pee every 5 minutes!

I know what you're thinking.  It's waaaaay too early in the 2ww to be having symptoms.  And yes - I know.  The real reason that I have to pee so much is all the water I'm drinking.

Why am I drinking so much water?  Because my veins suck.  No, seriously, they're terrible.  I have Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (JRA) and as a kid, I had to get blood drawn every 6-8 weeks for years at a time due to the medicines.  I was terrible about going because of my terrible veins.  They're small, they shift away from the needles, they have a hard time clotting after draws, and they had scar tissue over them due to the frequency of the blood draws.  The scar tissue has gotten better over time, since I am no longer on the same meds that required that frequency of blood work.  But, my veins still suck.  Anytime I've had to have an IV, they've had to get the anesthesiologist to do it, because the nurses can never get it. 

So anyway, I am chugging water because I get to have 7DPO blood work tomorrow, and I know the more hydrated I am, the better it is for everyone involved.  I'm also really nervous, because I have to go to a new lab.  Because I'm 7DPO on a Sunday, the only lab open is the hospital lab.  I don't know about anyone else, but I have never had good luck with hospital labs.  They're rushed, and they just jab, and jab, and blow off my initial "hey my veins suck, so please be gentle and use a butterfly needle" warning.

We're testing to see if my progesterone is low, so that we can do supplements if it is.  My last 7DPO blood work, it was, but I've been on Metformin for 4 months, and Femara for 2, so we want to see if that has helped at all.  I would love for it to be better, but I'm not holding my breath. 

This blood work also starts the worst part of the 2ww for me.  The 1st week, you know that there is no way to know.  The second week, however... yeah.  Confession, I often start POAS at 8DPO.  Shameful, right?  This time I'm going to try to hold out a little longer.  (Which I always say!) I'm going to try (try!) to hold out until next Saturday.  We'll see how I do!

Finally some good news for a change!

I had my 7dpo blood work done yesterday. My estradiol was 221 and my progesterone was 28.1. The nurse was very pleased with both of those numbers and said they were wonderful.

She knows I've been stressing about that 14mm follicle maturing so she told me that a woman in the office triggered with an 18, 14, and 14 and found out yesterday that she is expecting triplets. She said we can't be 100% sure but there are some good indications that my 14mm most likely matured and released an egg too.

I tested out my trigger and it's completely gone now. So now I wait for it to turn dark again. :)

I've had some serious exhaustion which has been putting me to bed much earlier than normal for me. Last night, I had sore boobs and yesterday afternoon some dull cramping for about an hour. Hopefully those are all good signs!

"Everything's normal" ~ shouldn't that be a good thing?

After our IVF BFN, Mr. Chef Bud and I talked about our next steps. We can't afford to dive right back into IVF, and honestly I don't even think I would want to at this point. I feel like there is something wrong, and for a doctor to just label me unexplained and want to go right to IVF just doesn't seem like a smart decision. We decided to get a second opinion, and made an appointment with a a group affiliated with the local university.

Photo Credit

We had our first appointment last month and it was such a refreshing change from RE #1. Dr. M sat down with us for almost an hour and talked through all of my issues, our failed cycles and what he thought we should do to move forward. We set our plan for the next three months which included:

Month 1:

Antral follicle count ultrasound and day 3 bloodwork ~ to test for my "maternal age" and see if my eggs are on younger, on track or older than my actual age

Saline Sonogram ~ to check my uterus for abnormal growth such as fibroids or polyps

Month 2:

Endometrial biopsy ~ to see if my cycle is "in phase". This will be done during my luteal phase to see if my lining is doing what it is supposed to be doing during this time of my cycle.

Month 3:

Mock cycle ~ using estrogen and progesterone to see if we can get my lining where we want it and stop the spotting

So far I've completed the antral follicle count (17 follicles), bloodwork (all normal) and saline sonogram (no uterine abnormalities). I feel like I should be happy and consider this good news, but I just want something to be able to fix. I want the doctor to say, "Oh, lookie here...we'll just take care of this and you'll be good to go!" I am trying to look on the bright side and be thankful that everything looks good so far, but I have to keep reminding myself that being normal = good news.

While I wait for the next couple of months of diagnostic testing, I have been trying to improve my fertililty by improving my lifestyle. I got the book Making Babies after a friend recommended it to me, and I am doing my best to follow the program outlined for my fertility type. I have changed my diet to be (mostly) whole, unprocessed foods (eating organic when I can), I'm limiting alcohol to one day a week, taking supplements, focusing on relaxing and destressing and going to acupuncture once a week. I feel like these steps are good for my overall health so even if this isn't going to be the magic formula that gets us pregnant, I will still be healthier. It's been a hard transisition to change my eating habits, but I think I'm doing pretty good and getting better every week. At least I feel like I am doing something while we save for another round of IVF.

So for now we're just moving forward slowly, which is definitely hard for someone like me who likes to be moving full-speed ahead. I'm learning that I have to be patient and give these lifestyle changes some time to take affect in my body. I haven't spotted yet this month and I'm already on CD 18, so maybe this stuff is really working and I will have great news to report at the end of the month.

So ashamed of mysef.

I ordered a bunch of internet cheapie tests on amazon.com Saturday. I wasted a lot of money last month testing and didn't want to again this month. Well, they came in the mail today!

So I did what any normal (read: Not) person who has been TTC for a long time would do.

I POAS!!!

At 7dpo.

In the evening.

*hands head in shame*

It was BFN, of course. I wasn't upset at all. I completely knew it would be. I just couldn't help the compulsion of ripping open a new package of 25 pregnancy tests and not pee on one of them! I mean, come on, go look at that chart! It's a beauty so far!

Had my 7dpo blood draw today though. As of 4:30pm, the RE's office still didn't have the results. Here's hoping they have them tomorrow and that I had a super good ovulation, especially since it was so freaking early for me.

Can't wait to wake up and POAS tomorrow morning! :)

24w & 26w Update

Well, I've been laying low - Dr's orders! But here are a few updates on us....

At my 24 week appointment two weeks ago, we got a scare with my Blood Pressure - 130/100 (yikes!). I laid down in the office for 15 minutes and it went down to 120/70 but that was still somewhat high for me and my OB mentioned my BP is rising slowly. My uterus was measuring a week ahead, I was up 1lb since my last apt (at 20w), and now I've got to watch out for continuous headaches, vision problems, swelling (which, had already happened), and more. I was ordered to lay on my left side for two hours a day - which did not include overnight sleep - when would I find the time to do this working full time and remodeling our kitchen?!

Somewhere during week 25 my blood pressure spiked to 152/84 after a day's work and a huge amount of swelling. I called the On-Call dr and he said not to worry unless it got over 160 for the top number.

I had my follow up appointment today, checked BP, did my GTT (glucose test), and had an ultrasound. In two week's I've gained 5lbs - which seemed a bit high to me but the NP said it wasn't abnormal - and some of it might be water retention related to my high BP. My blood pressure first thing was 142/80, so again it's increasing. I told her about all of my non-stop headaches, my dizzy spells, troubles breathing (this wasn't totally abnormal she said, I'm losing room in there!), and my all-day Braxton Hicks contractions that turned into 3-4 real contractions. We discussed at minimum a modified bed rest schedule with work. I am no longer to work a full 9-hour day - if I can work it out with HR, I'll be on a 4-hour/day schedule.

They took my blood to check for Pre-Eclampsia (my urine samples are coming back clear) and if the results are abnormal, then I am to start bed rest fully right away. I sort of knew it was going to go in this direction after my 24week appointment and my continually rising BP. I notice a huge difference in my symptoms and the way my body reacts in days that I work and days that I'm at home resting. (I work on my feet as a makeup artist and am also the Assistant Manager in our store).

Time for some good news! Little MB is measuring in the 55th percentile, so he's right on track and average. He's weighing in at about 2lb 3oz and I even caught him smiling on the ultrasound! AND! He's totally got my nose! I did find out that he's now transverse - his head and feet are under my left rib while his booty is under my right rib. He's totally cramped in there and it's only going to get worse!

I can't wait to meet him - preferably not for another 14 weeks, but I am very excited! Hopefully whether or not my blood work comes back abnormal - the modified or full bed rest will keep me healthy enough so he can bake fully and wait to make his appearance until November!

And The Verdict Is.....

I cried at work today.

This is a big no-no in SB land. I work at a very fast paced, stressful job (and oddly enough I LOVE it!) and I have convinced myself that showing any emotion at work will label me as weak, and I will be preyed upon by upper management.

After having lunch with a few co-workers and I looked down at my phone and saw a missed call from my RE's office. I knew this could only mean one thing.....our karyotype results were in.

Commence freak out.

I tried to reason with myself and thought that I would just listen to the message when I left work. That thought lasted for a wopping 2 minutes when all I could do was just stare at my computer screen. I went into the hallway and dialed my voice mail, leaning up against the wall preparing for the worst.

The message was from one of the nurses who simply said to "call her back."

Commence anxiety shit show.

I walked outside and sat down on one of the benches by our pond. I figured that I would have to be sitting down when I heard the bad news. I mean really, if it was good news she would have left a message saying so, right? RIGHT?!

My hands were shaking and my voice was trembling when I asked to speak to the nurse. And when she said "Hi SB, how are you?", I heard doubt in her voice.

Or so I thought.

As it turns out, our chromosomes are totally normal. No balanced translocation, no weird genetics, just perfect chromosomes for baby making. And in that moment, the weight of the world was taken off of my shoulders.

I returned to my desk still shaking, and while staring at my computer screen (I really do work at work - promise) I started to cry. I cried tears of joy for the first time in almost 2 years. Having a happy, healthy pregnancy finally seemed attainable to me, and that feeling absolutely consumed me.

I was told to call the RE's office the first day of Aunt Flo, but I told them no thanks. I'm still on my break. My mind and body need time to heal, because the past 2 years have been hard on both of them.

What I didn't tell them was I was going to seek out a second opinion. Right now I'm on the search for a new RE to see what insight they can offer me. I have made a decision to not stop until I get answers or a healthy baby.

There still is a long road ahead for us, but for once, I feel there is hope.

A Public Service Announcement On Bloodwork

If you go in to get your bloodwork done, and the computer is facing you so that you can see your phlebotomist's every move, do not tell her how to do her job (even if you're nervous and OMG! She really looks like she has no idea what she's doing).

I promise you that you will walk out of that office with a blood-soaked cotton ball and a pain in your arm that will last no more than 3 days.

Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything......

Where We Go From Here

First of all, I wanted to give a heart-felt thank you to the Bloomin' Babies community. You have all been so supportive, thoughtful and informative. I am so thankful to be part of this little "family."

Mr. SB and I had an appointment with our RE to talk about our next steps. It seems that I have been pretty much tested for everything except for a chromosome defect called Balanced Translocation.

I won't bore you with the details of this again, as it can be found in Blessed Bud's post, a couple below this one.

After emailing with our lovely Dandelion Bud, if the balanced translocation test comes back normal, I think I am going to get a second opinion. It seems like they cannot find anything that is wrong with me. In fact, my RE said it was surprising how normal my tests actually were - not a defect in sight, which is just my luck.

I'm scared to death of my chromosome test coming back positive. That is a whole different shit storm that I am not ready to deal with. The thought of having to go through more miscarriages to "hopefully" have a normal pregnancy literally takes me breath away. The nurse at my RE's office told me that they have never seen this many miscarriages in someone so young, which to be honest with you, made me want to neck punch her.

So right now, we have put actively TTC on hold. This test will take about 5 weeks to come back, and now we are going to try to relax, exercise and start having sex for fun instead of reproduction (even though I know I will not be able to help myself with CBE Smileys because they are just so. freaking. cool)! I will not be going back on birth control, so if it happens, it happens.

Its time for a much needed physical and mental break.