Unsung Lullabies

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I have started reading "Unsung Lullabies" and so far I think it will be an awesome book for me to read. It goes through the emotional trauma that people go through when the find out that they have fertility problems and how you can deal with those struggles. It also goes over how fertility problems affect the male and ways to help them cope with there feelings. I know that Mr. Explorer Bud is always trying to be strong for me and not express his sadness about not being able to have kids the "Normal" way. I hope that after reading this book I can be a bit more aware of what Mr. Explorer Bud is feeling, of course we talk about it a lot, and how to help him express himself and know it is alright for him to let those feelings out. We are only able to really heal after we allow ourselves to express our thoughts, feeling and emotions.

My friends always ask how I am doing and how I am handling not being pregnant and having so many friends and family that have new babies and I can honestly say it is getting better. I feel like I am at a point where I am not so jealous and angry at everyone for having what I can't. Not that I don't still want to be pregnant but I am embracing where I am here and now and being happy with it. It has taken me a while to honestly feel that way but I am glad I have reached this point and hope that I can continue to find happiness in our lives in whatever stage of TTC we are in.

Don't Pee on Your Hand and other lessons from OPK's

I'm a week into my first round of OPK's, and while I haven't gotten a positive yet(completely expected), I am enjoying the sense of "doing something". It makes me feel productive. I also feel much more educated on a few things that I wish I had known before I started using them.

1. If you care enough about the environment not to own little plastic cups (but not enough to care that you are throwing away a tiny pee stick every day), and you use a little ceramic cup that you totally make sure to wash after every use, DON'T leave the cup out on the counter. Even after its washed and sanitized, which it is, your husband doesn't want to accidentally drink out of it. Hide this stuff.

2. If you keep your HPT's in the same box as your OPK's, make sure you retrieve your OPK's before asking your husband to hide the box from you. Getting the box back when it's time to start testing for O will initiate an interrogation ala the Mcarthy Era, and will end with you yelling "I just want the green ones! They SAY "ovulation" on them! Now bring them to me or we'll never have a baby!"

3. Holding out a pee stick to your husband with the words "Does this look negative to you?" without explaining to him what he is looking at will only earn you the words, "I can see your pee on it". Granted, once you DO explain what he is looking at, he will be more than happy to help you out.

4. Learn to aim. Peeing on ones hand is not advisable, as the fingernails do not detect LH. Also, it's a little gross.

Still washing my hands,

TTC Life Intersects with Real Life

I am currently taking a best practices teaching course through my district and today at class we had to journal write about anything. Can you guess what was 1st on my list? I wasn't sure if I could write solely about TTC, so I thought how it affects my teaching. Without really even realizing, I realized that I am getting more patient and there by being a better teacher. Here is (a slightly edited) version of what I wrote:

I have many goals for this year, many of which will be a true test of patience. I know that if I am successful, I will not only have achieved my goals (reaching those hard to reach students, starting a family), but I will have gained a much better gift: patience. This is not something that I have much of. I frequently get frustrated when things don't go my way or people don't act/think the way I expect them to. Already, after nine months of my struggle (TTC), I understand and have begun working on my utter lack of patience. Things that I thought were impossible before (dealing with the child that refuses to write or even speak, or waiting month after month for those precious two pink lines) are becoming slightly easier, only slightly. These first few weeks at school has helped illuminate the fact that I need to gain even more patience. I am faced daily with some of the most academically and behaviorally challenging students I have ever had in my classroom, and I am already beginning to doubt my ability to help them successfully. However I know I will continue to work with them, no matter how hard it is for me. If my TTC has taught me anything, it is this! Hopefully by next summer I will have achieved my goals; I will have a child of my own plus the knowledge that I have reached at least one of these difficult kids. On top of that, I will have tested my patience for all it is worth. Talk to me June 2011 to see if I am singing a very different tune.

This got me thinking about all the life lessons that TTC has taught me. I figured I would share a few more with you.
*No matter how well you prepare, some things are just out of your control.
*There are some people you can rely on for everything and there are some people who you need to keep some things from.
*A community of like-minded people can be a savior in any situation, even if those people are online.
*Don't be afraid to cry and get upset if something goes wrong, but it always important to pick yourself up and continue.
What has TTC taught you?

On an update note, I am currently 5 dpo and am planning to test next Wednesday a little less than 1 week before my 27th birthday. I hope I get a good birthday present.