Fertilization Report

So it looks like we had a total of 22 egss retrieved, 21 were mature and 15 fertilized. It looks like Wednesday mid-afternoon will be our transfer day. Last night I had a strange stomach pains and broke into a cold sweat, I was worried that it might by OHSS but I wasn't sure. Luckily the pains subsided eventually and I have been feeling better. I think this time around I am a bit more sensitive to the medications and the retrieval. Keeping my fingers crossed that Wednesday we will have some good strong embryos to transfer.

Fertilization Report

so we got the call but they unfortunately called Mr. Explorer Bud instead of me so I got the information a bit second hand. I need to call my RE office and have them change the main phone number to me!!

The results are.....14 were mature of the 15 eggs and all 14 fertilized!!! I can hardly believe the numbers!! I am soo ecstatic right now because I will most likely have eggs to freeze after this!! Since we have never had any eggs that made it to freeze I am feeling excited that we might actually this time. It takes some of the pressure of this cycle working if you have some snow babies to use.

Our transfer date will be this Saturday at 9:30 am and I believe that we will be transferring 2 embryo's if all goes according to plan.

Fertilization Report

The results are in: of the 12 eggs, 10 fertilized with ICSI, 8 made it to day 2 and we will be transferring tomorrow around 2:30 in the afternoon. I am glad that we have 8 to choose from and we will decide how many to put in this time around. Last time we did 3 and one took but the Dr. suggested 4 this time but I am not sure. We will see tomorrow when we see the quality on day 3 of them.

FERT Report

My RE's office called with my FERT Report Sunday, but I missed it since I was in church. So they called me again Monday morning and here is what was going on:




Of the 33 eggs retrieved 24 were mature (Dr. T said he takes out everything he sees to try and prevent OHSS)

Of those 24 eggs all 24 fertilized with ICSI

Embryo Breakdown Thus Far:

12 excellent quality embryos

7 are still developing

5 may or may not make it

Dr. T has pushed me to a 5 Day Transfer on Thursday

ER and Fert Report

Yesterday was egg retrieval day. I went in at 9am and they brought me back to the room where they do the ER's, which looked like a hospital. I was completely under for the procedure so I don't remember anything about it, but the whole experience wasn't too bad. I laid in the bed for an hour or so after and then Mr. Sassy Bud drove me home. I spent most of the day sleeping afterward. I am not in much pain today and I am back at work.

The doctor also called with our fert report this morning. We had 28 eggs retrieved yesterday. Out of those 28, 24 were mature, and they fertilized 20!!

We are definitely looking at a 5 day transfer with that many embryos, so I will go back on Monday for the ET. My cycle has gone so well that this has to result in a BFP, right? I'm scared to even think that far in advance.

Tonight I start progesterone shots (PIO) so that should be fun. They are supposed to be the worst of the shots that I have taken so far, but at this point I am not really phased by anything.

I will update after the ET unless I hear any other news on Saturday when they call with an update.

Kissed goodbye 26 eggs

I swear I'm going to change my name to "Bitter Bud" with the way things are going.

I just got our fertilization report: Out of 38 eggs retrieved, we only have 12 embryos. Where did the other 26 eggs go? Why did they fertilize abnormally, or not at all? And how many of those will survive to Sunday? Do we also have a sperm problem here? I was too dumbfounded to ask. My doctor said the number of embryos was good and that retrievals over 20 eggs tend to have diminished returns. I'm not good at math, but I'd say a 31% fertilization rate is not good at all.

More and more I think I was a fool to pin all my hopes on this cycle. Yeah it got me through four months of infertility limbo, but the cycle is turning into one disappointment after another. I told Mr. GB months this summer that I wanted to stop treatments when I turned 40 (this Feb.), but he would hear nothing of it. Well hon, write a check for $22k, pick out another donor, and let me know when it's time to transfer embryos. Or hire a surrogate and let me know when the baby is born. Or figure out how to adopt.

I want off this ride. It makes me sick to my stomach and it's not fun anymore.

And the journey continues...

Thank you readers and Buds for the warm welcome yesterday. It feels good to be here.

So back to my TTC journey. A quick review of the Golden Bud TTC timeline thus far

• 12/07: Start TTC
• 10/08: RE visit, fertility tests
• 12/08: IVF #1: cancelled on Day 8 due to no response
• 3/09: IVF #2: 2 follies, 2 eggs, 1 embryo, BFN
• 10/09: IVF #3: 2 follies, 2 eggs, 1 embryo, BFN
• 12/09: Start the donor egg process
• 3/10: Donor cycle

A lot of women talk about how hard it was for them to move on to donor eggs. For me the decision was a relief. I could finally stop throwing good money after my bad eggs, and the odds were so good that I couldn’t help but be giddy about the whole process, which goes a little something like this:

• Month 1: More testing. Most of my tests had expired after 1 year, so I needed an SHG (less painful than the HSG) and blood work, and Mr. GB needed a new SA and blood work. We were also required to meet with a psychologist and a geneticist. Not sure we go sure we got our money's worth in return, but the $350 for both was just a drop in the bucket so I didn't complain.

• Month 2: Mock cycle, which is basically a trial run of using the estrogen patches to test my lining. Mr. GB also had genetic tests done because we thought we were getting good pricing on the testing (we didn’t--long story). No genetic issues turned up, so we decided not to test the donor.

• Month 3: Donor selection & cycle—yippee!

Now it was time to select a donor. I admit I was a little naïve about the selection process. I thought I'd make it fun by booking a date for Mr. GB and me to bring our laptops to Panera and look at donor profiles over dinner. What I discovered was that most of the donors I liked were already booked. This process was actually the hardest thing about IF thus far and I was unusually cranky for a few days. At the time I really wanted to find a donor just like me—looked like me, built like me, personality like mine. It wasn't until this process that I think I finally mourned the loss of my genetics and any coincidental resemblance to me. Fortunately a donor I liked became available, and my whole outlook changed. It takes some women months to find the right donor. It took me about a week.

So why did I choose our donor? She had blue eyes (like ours), fair skin (like ours), brown hair (like Mr. GB), wavy hair (like me), and 0+ blood (like ours). I also really liked her personal statement—she sounded just like me. She looked more like Mr. GB than me, so I figured at least our children would strongly resemble Mr. GB and not some other woman. I admit I did not obsess over her family health history, her occupation or grades, or her ancestry.

I put down our deposit before I even asked about her donation history. Another terribly naïve thing to do. Turns out she had 4 successful recipient pregnancies and I was thrilled! But I misunderstood the stats and thought that “0 embryos frozen” meant that none of the recipients had done a frozen cycle. What that really meant was that despite her successful recipient pregnancies, she’d never had embryos survive to freeze. But I let the 100% success rate go to my head and thought we’d have twins and be done with babymaking. Did I mention I was naive?

From the get-go I had a bad feeling about the cycle. I tend to be very intuitive and a little superstitious. My feeling of dread was caused by these events:

• Day 5 of stims: Donor coordinator calls and says the donor is responding great and her meds have been reduced. My intuition says OVERSTIM! Immature eggs! Failure!

• Day of ER is the day of the “spring forward” time change. I was paranoid that they would get her retrieval time off by an hour, and either the eggs would be gone or immature.

• Day after ER: Embryologist calls. Bad news. Of 20 eggs retrieved, only 8 were mature. Her worst cycle ever. So I was right about my fears of overstimming. The embryologist was happy with the fert rate though—6 fertilized—but all I could think was that we only got 4 more eggs than I can produce myself.

• Day of ET: Day 3 transfer of 2 embies. Saw a different RE than the one who’d done my previous 2 transfers. My bladder was overfilled and the RE had difficulty doing the transfer. So much so that the embryologist started to get worried. The RE put the embies back in the dish and kept trying. The second time was successful, but I couldn’t help but think that the embryos may have been damaged in the shuffle.

• Freeze report: Nothing made it to freeze. I wasn’t surprised, but I was still devastated. This was the most upset I’d been to date.

Call me a Debbie Downer, but by this point I was really worried. I spent a few days on the couch pouting and I was convinced we’d failed.

I think I'll wrap this up for today.

Til then,

Golden Bud

I have embies!!!

Yesterday was my egg retrieval and it went better than we could have hoped. I was very nervous beforehand, but it was a piece of cake. I changed into my lovely hospital gown, hat and booties, laid on the table, the anesthesiologist set up my IV and...that's all I remember! I was completely out of it and couldn't even tell you how long it lasted. The next thing I remember is waking up in a different room and the doctor telling me he retrieved EIGHT eggs. I was so excited since at my last ultrasound on the 10th we only saw five. I think three of them must have been a little camera shy =) but I'm glad they found their way out. I rested for a bit, got my first progesterone shot (which didn't hurt but I'm sure the fact that I had just been under anethesia had something to do with that!), and then Mr. CB brought me back to our Panama apartment. I am SO happy that we rented an apartment instead of just having a hotel room. It is so comfortable and big, and being able to cook meals and relax on our balcony is awesome.

I felt great last night. I had some minor cramping, but nothing too bad. Mr. CB still insisted on taking care of me, and I didn't resist! He made me dinner, massaged my feet and went out to get me ice cream for dessert. He's a good man.

Today we went out for a little sightseeing around Panama City's oldest neighborhood. Before our walking tour, we stopped by the clinic (it's right across from our apartment) to check on our eggs. The clinic here doesn't do a day 1 morning fert report as they don't like to disturb the embryos, but Dr. Perez told me yesterday I could check back to see how many of my eggs were mature. He told me all eight were mature, and that SIX fertilized normally! I am so happy to have six embies growing strong. I can't wait until Thursday to hear how they have progressed. This is the hardest wait so far, and I'm glad it's a short one.

Mr. CB and I are really enjoying our time together. This is the longest we've ever had to spend together without work or other interuptions, and I'm loving every minute of it. We were lucky that our trip coordinated with my birthday (on the 3rd) and our 3rd wedding anniversary, which is tomorrow. I feel like it's been a lucky and blessed few weeks! Here's a wedding pic in honor of our anniversary...

My transfer is Thursday at 2:30 PM (1:30 PM EST). I have such a great feeling about this!

How About a Fertilization/Transfer All-In-One?

I realize I never blogged about an egg retrieval. There's a reason for it. They hurt like a motherless goat, and i'm really not myself for a few days after. Maybe one day I will... but typically by the time I feel like getting back online after an egg retrieval, i have more news to share...

Enter the fertilization (fert) report.

Or actually this time... don't.

The only phone call I got this time was that fertilization had occurred. I didn't get any details, despite numerous requests. I was really upset. I cried a lot. I pictured a lot of worst case scenarios. But then I thought about last time... when Dr Z called us himself to tell us about the abysmality of our fert report.

But, I guessed that hearing from Nurse F and not Dr Z had to be a good sign. Even though I REALLY wanted to know. I mean, this time we had 13 (!!!!!) eggs. As an example, last time we had 6 shitty eggs. Only 5 were mature and only 3 fertilized. We took those 3 (which turned into less than sub par embryos) to transfer- and we all know what happened next.

But 13.... i could picture it in my head. 10 were going to be mature. 8 were going to fertilize and we might actually get embryos to freeze!!!

I had to wait until my transfer to find out for sure.

And, I was wrong.

And once I found out i was wrong, i realized I would have been upset not knowing those three days, anyway.

Of 13 eggs, only 7 were mature and of those 7 only 4 fertilized. we lost one of those on day 2.

So, 3 embryos. Again.

But the news this time is not as abysmal. This time we have GOOD embryos. REALLY good.

Quick review of Dr Z's grading system; goes on a scale of 1-5 (1 being the best and "no one gets a 1") and at this stage, you want 8 cells in each embryo.

Also a refresher, for comparison, of embryos from IVF #1:

• 6 cell grade 3
• 6 cell grade 4
• 5 cell grade 4

At the transfer, Dr Z sits us down and tells about our embryos. What we find out is, in his lab, what we have is just about as good as it gets for a 3 day transfer.

He tells us about our first 2 embryos first.

photo credit

We have an 8 cell grade 2 (pictured right) and a compacted 8 cell grade 2 (pictured left). Compacted means the embryo is heading for blast, which means our embryo is at LEAST 1/2 -1 day ahead in growth! The other news from Dr Z is like he told us last time: grades 1, 2 and 3 all have the same rate of implantation.

Then he tells us about embryo #3.... it is also 8 cell (holy crap!) but a grade 4, so just lots of fragmentation. He left it up to us to decide what to do with it, but we deferred to his judgment, and transferred it also. I couldn't see disposing of an embryo that was better than anything we transferred last time. Besides, he said with my diagnosis and the failed last cycle, he thinks we can definitely justify transferring 3.

So, 3 embryos transferred. 2 pretty much perfect (pictured) and the one slightly less than perfect (not pictured, b/c it was a last minute decision).

Thanks for all of your well wishes. Please keep them coming.

photo credit

Please be snuggling in for the next 9 months, babies...

Back to bedrest. Welcome to the 2ww.

Sorry to leave you hanging...ET update!

So, after my last post, I went back to work for the first time since our crazy snow storm + President's Day & as you can imagine, after nearly two weeks away...I have been REALLY busy! So, let me give you a quick recap...

Tuesday, February 16

Went to work on time, although I found out we had a 2 hour delay! FAIL. Got a call from my nurse, then Dr. G that my transfer would be moved to a 5 day transfer because all of our embryos are all grade 1 at this point (1 being most desirable for transfer & 4 being the least desirable) & it's difficult to select the best two at this point!! Woot.

Embryo stats on day 3 (should be between 6-8 cells per my RE):

• 1 - 9 cell
  
• 2 - 8 cells
• 1 - 6 cell

Wednesday, February 17

Given directions for my 5dt tomorrow - 1:30pm. Not much to report other than all embryos still growing & dividing normally.

Embryo stats on day 4 (no day 4 grading criteria, but all looks well per my RE):

• 2 - compacted embryos (essentially stage prior to blastocyst)
• 1 - 12 cell
• 1 - 10 cell

Thursday, February 18

Went to work in the morning, Mr. Worry Bud came past my job & we headed to my RE's main office for the ET. Drank 20 oz. water on the way. Side note - I read a lot of blogs about IVF & always read that the worse part of the ET was having to have a full bladder. A lot of women said it was soooo uncomfortable - I thought maybe they were exaggerating a bit. Ummm, no they weren't...I literally thought I'd pee on myself, lol. We had to confirm our identities, sign some papers on how many would be being transferred & the Dr. talked a bit about our two still hanging tight. He said they'd watch them until tomorrow & then decide if they are eligible for cryopreservation (freezing) for possible future cycles. Transferred two BEAUTIFUL, expanding blasts!!! Embryologist gave us a photo & told us that the blasts looked "really great"! I rested about 7 minutes (RE requires 5), then I quickly got dressed & ran to the bathroom right outside the room!

And without further adieu - I introduce the hopefully future Little Worry Bud(s):

(Ignore the little red circle in the middle of lil blast on the right, I think that's a glitch on the actual photo.)

I'm home on bed rest for 24 hours & then on limited activity for the next two weeks. I am to continue my 3x/day Endometrin (progesterone) suppositories, 2x/day Estradiol, 1x/day baby aspirin & 1 PNV. And now we wait....beta scheduled for March 3rd! IDK if I'll be able to hold out that long before POAS, but we shall see!

It's Mr. WB's birthday this weekend, so I'm hoping to cook him a nice dinner & be able to go grab his gift on Saturday/Sunday. Besides that, I'm taking it easy this weekend. Thank you all so, so, so, so MUCH for all the prayers, positive vibes, thoughts, etc. this week. I know every one of you sending us & our embryos T&P made a difference & we appreciate it from the bottom of our hearts. Please keep us in your thoughts & prayers during what the RE who did my ET said will be "the longest two weeks of our lives".

Day 3 Report/5 Day Transfer is On!

I spoke with the Embryologist this morning and our Day 5 Transfer is set for Saturday at 10:00 am. She said so far all is going very well and that she is pleased.

Photography Credit

For multicell Day 3 Embryos my Clinic uses a grading system of 1-3 in chronological order and they reverse this numerical order for blastocyts on Day 5 using a grading sytem of 4-1 with letters (4 being the best and 1 being the worse) ...

Grade 1: even cell division, no fragmentation
Grade 2: even cell division, small fragmentation
Grade 3: uneven cell division, moderate fragmentation


Our Day 3 Report

12 8-10 cells Grade 1

1 6 cell Grade 2

1 4 cell Grade 3

Praying that all goes well with our ET on Saturday...

Fert Report In...

First Giving Honor to God he is Awesome...


The Embryologist and I played phone tag today. Turns out they got 20 eggs yesterday after all was said and done. 17 of those 20 eggs were mature and 14 out of the 17 fertilized with ICSI. She believes we will go to a five day transfer on Saturday but she is going to call me back Thursday with another Report!