Full Term Update

Who'd have thunk it?

Certainly not me.

More than 2 years ago, I had no doubt I wouldn't have any trouble getting pregnant. I was however, convinced that I would have trouble STAYING pregnant. Between my mother, my aunt and my grandmother, there must have been 15-20 miscarriages between them. I was sure I would follow that line.

Then 1 year ago, I was in the midst of what would be my 1st failed IVF cycle and about to sink into a horrible depression.

Who knew that my problem would be GETTING pregnant. Not staying pregnant.

Because apparently, STAYING pregnant I can do just fine.

Which brings me to today.

Despite my AMH. Despite MFI. Despite DOR/POF. Despite MTHFR. Despite 3 fibroids. Despite all of our diagnoses and a failed IVF cycle... and in memory of our lost twin... today I am 38 weeks pregnant.


Full Term.

Holy crap.

Our appointment today was largely uneventful. My cervix remains closed, although softening. Dr Loh can feel and move the baby's head, but she says still not any lower (i'd argue that... i'm rapidly losing anything that could be considered "below my belly"). I mentioned that movement has been very minimal the last 24 hours, so I got a quickie u/s to check our fluid levels (absolutely fine). Smudge is SO big. I can't even believe how big. I remember the days when we could see the whole baby on one screen. Now you can barely see one PART on one screen. It's amazing. The arms are up by his/her face with little fists. Dr Loh says Smudge's tone is great. Knees are drawn up and yep, those are feet in my ribs... crossed at the ankles. Maybe this is a little lady after all... I guess we'll see.

We also did an impromptu non-stress test (NST) to check the heartbeat patterns. So I got to sit on the monitor listening to the most beautiful sound in the world (my baby's heartbeat) for a half hour. It was wonderful. Smudge did exactly what s/he was supposed to do... when s/he wasn't trying to run away from the probe. This kid HATES being monitored in any way. It's really funny. We've been playing chase the baby for 8 months though. Why stop now, right?

Best news of the 38 week appointment. I lost a pound! Yay - go me. So after the 36 week debacle of gaining 4 pounds in 2 weeks, then holding steady at 37 weeks, at 38 weeks I have gained 20 pounds for the pregnancy. I am very proud of myself.

So - that's all for now. I hadn't had any contractions in about 36 hours until tonight, when I had 3 in the last hour... so i'm not holding my breath, but we'll see what happens. I think it's pretty funny that since becoming pregnant, we've thought i would deliver on thanksgiving. I guess we'll see. I did pack my bag the other day. That's surely going to keep me pregnant until 42 weeks. (Unlike if I hadn't packed at all - then i probably would have delivered 2 weeks ago.)

Horray for full term. Hooray for a healthy Smudge. And most of all... hooray for the difference a year can make.

Bittersweet

I wasn't going to post again until my NT scan, when i'd hopefully have some really good pictures of smudge to share.

But the past few days I've been having a bit of a hard time, and now that i've finally told my husband about it, i feel like telling you guys too.

the past few days i've been really sad about our lost twin.

I don't know why this is coming up now. I never really got sad about the twin before. But as happy as I am now about smudge, is as sad as I am about the baby we lost.

I'm almost 11 weeks pregnant - i don't know why these feelings are just coming up now.

7w1d.... another chance to see smudge....

...and, smudge looks good.

She's 7w1d today. Her heartbeat was 158. She measured 7.9mm, which is almost double last week (4mm), and is measuring at 6w5d. The RE says that's perfectly normal.

My RE said that much like when the baby is born, and gets measured against a growth percentile chart, there's a "growth chart" for in utero as well and the baby has to measure within a week of the actual dates. So we're right on track. He said her heartbeat is perfect.

All told... things look good. He tried to kick me out today - but I suckered one more u/s out of him next week. I told him that he can't tell me the miscarriage risk drops to 5% at 8 weeks and not see me at 8 weeks.

In other news, I also talked to my RE about how an RN would break into the field of IF (i'm miserable at my job, and have been job hunting for quite awhile. Mr. DB and I have been talking about this possibility for about 6 months). He said that he might be looking for a new nurse soon (i know one of his LPNs left suddenly, and they're not thrilled with her replacement) ... i'm not going to hold my breath... but at least I opened a door.

Other news from the u/s: no obvious cysts, so we'll chalk up the weird left sided cramping to growing pains for now. No changes in the fibroid and the second sac is still resolving.

Pregnancy symptoms: I'm still peeing every 5 minutes, which is REALLY cutting into sleeping, but that's okay. At least I know I'm pregnant, right? Occasional nausea, and some dizziness... but I think between the Vitamin B6 that I'm taking and the acu are keeping the worst of the morning sickness at bay.

After all this time....

Almost 2 years of TTC, Countless Cycles, Devastating Diagnosis, Rivers of Tears and Two IVF cycles....

.... Have led me to you....

That's my baby smudge.

We had our 1st ultrasound yesterday at 6w1d. Our baby is measuring perfectly. We saw a perfect heartbeat and were able to hear it.

It was so surreal.

Dr Z saw a second sac, a lost twin. As bittersweet as that should be, i'm okay. I knew somehow, and had even commented to someone the other day that I felt like there had been two, and that one had been lost. It's really weird to be right about that - but I think, however I knew that, it helped me work through it before I even saw the u/s. I think that's why I've been so nervous the past week or so. Why i've been looking up everything I can about blighted ovum and things like that. Because I knew it was happening. And I was able to work through it before I saw it on the u/s.

I also asked Dr Z to check my fibroids. There's now only 1 and it's nowhere near the baby. Dr Z has no concerns about the fibroid affecting the pregnancy at all.

Meanwhile, we're absolutely thrilled about our little smudge... please keep thinking about us. The next 2 weeks are really important. We'll go back for another u/s in one week, and then again the following week.

I love you baby smudge.