26 week update!

First, I'd like to send Explorer Bud a BIG congratulations!!!  I'm so happy for you, sweets!  XOXO

I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update.  I'm exhausted when I get home every evening, and house/nursery projects have consumed our lives on the weekends.  I took my glucose test this past week and everything came back fine.  I'll return in 2 weeks for a growth scan, and my mom will be joining me.  I'm so excited that she'll be able to see her next grandchild on the big screen. :) 

How far along: 26 weeks and 5 days!

Total weight change: Between 10-13 pounds.  I'm still unsure due to my IVF medication causing me to gain some weight.

Maternity clothes: I mostly wear maternity clothes, but I can still fit into some pre-pregnancy pants with my bella band.  My stomach is starting to look like a nice round ball, and Mr. Bossy Bud told me that other night that my belly button is looking a little shallow.

Stretch Marks: I haven't noticed any.  Now, that's not to say I didn't already have some from before!

Movement: Baby Bossy Bud moves around a lot; especially while I'm trying to go to sleep!  He's more active in the evenings.

Sleep: Sleeping well!  I'm usually in bed by 9:00 pm every night.  I thought I was suppose to have more energy in the 2nd trimester!!??

Best Moment This Past Week: Working on his nursery!  Mr. Bossy Bud, my mom, and several friends have all had their part in helping with his room.  Stripes have been painted on the wall and the furniture is being refinished as we speak.  I'm so ready to see the finished product!

Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: My stomach was hurting quite a bit yesterday at work.  We had a teacher planning day, so the entire day was spent with my team.  Gas has been a constant for me lately, and I was holding it in while we planned.  I felt fine while I sat, but there was a painful pressure when I stood.  It hurt to even walk.  I told myself it was just stretching and tried not to worry.  Well-  after we finished, I returned to my room and started to "relieve" some of the pressure.  I felt so much better!  I never knew I could hurt so much from being so gassy!  :)

Belly Button In or Out: In!  I can't see it anymore, but it's still an innie.

Cravings/Aversions: No cravings.  I'm started to not want chicken.  I'm weird.  I know.

Symptoms: Indigestion.  It comes and goes, and I never know what is going to cause it.  It's NOT fun.

Until next time!

Bossy Bud

He is NOT my husband!

Read on to understand the title of my post! :)


How far along: 15 weeks!

Total weight change: +4 pounds since my appointment a month ago.

Maternity clothes: Still just wearing those one pair of maternity shorts.  Everything else still fits. 

Stretch Marks: I haven't noticed any.

Movement: I think I might be feeling something.  I was driving home from a friend's house today, and I felt that same feeling I've been feeling for the past week.  I told myself that it felt like bubbles (I honestly keep telling myself that it's just gas).  I got home, read my email from Baby Center that talks about Week 15, and it mentioned that some women describe early movement as bubbles!  I couldn't believe my eyes. 

Sleep: I sleep great.  And A LOT!

Best Moment This Past Week: I have two!  First-  wearing my maternity shorts and having my dad notice that I have a slight bump (and I thought it was just my wishful thinking that I had one).  Second- listening to our baby's heartbeat at my appointment on Tuesday.  It's music to my ears!

Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: Still feeling nauseous.  My OB offered to write me a prescription for it, but I think I'm going to hold out until the next appointment.  If it hasn't eased up, I'll let her know.

Belly Button In or Out: In

Cravings/Aversions: Chocolate!  But then again-  I've always been a chocoholic. :)

Symptoms:Nausea, sensitive breasts, and exhaustion.


We find out the sex on August 15th!!!

Now to tell you the meaning behind my title!  My dad went with me to my doctor's appointment on Tuesday.  We had planned to go to lunch afterward.  The nurse called me back, and I went in alone.  She weighed me and then asked if the man in the waiting room with me was my husband and did he want to come back with me!  I just laughed (this wasn't the first time someone has thought my dad was my husband). :)

Bossy Bud

Pitiful...

I'm sorry that I just can't seem to stay on top of my blogging here lately...let's blame it on placenta brain an fatigue.

I'm still waiting for the second trimester to turn into the "honeymoon period." I still get nauseated on occasion when I eat something Baby doesn't agree with. The heartburn has luckily calmed way down. But the fatigue! Man. I find myself snoozing at lunch, passing out when I get home and barely being able to drag myself up from the couch to take a shower and go to bed after I see Mr. CBud off to work at 10! We're transitioning to a new Electronic Medical Record system at work and I'm one of the "super users" so my days and evenings have been filled with a lot of classes and training...not helping the sleepies at all! The instructor sounds like the teacher from Ferris Beuler's Day Off. =o)

Anyway, I'm well into my 17th week and will be greeting the 18th on Wednesday. So far Baby is 4.5-4.75 inches long from crown to rump and weighs about 3.5 ounces. The fingernails are well-formed and Baby is starting to accumulate a little fat. (Awwww....)

I had an appointment w/ the OB last week. Everything went well. BP was 110/70. Weight up 4lb since the last appointment. That puts me at 12lb total. A little much for my liking but I'm trying not to obsess about it. I used to be one of those weigh every day girls (because I worked so hard to lose it all in the first place) but I have happily pushed my scale to the back of the linen closet. I'm not eating bad foods, but my salty-sweet cravings have been kicked into overdrive!

I felt the baby move last week!! I was driving to work listening to my iPod and felt some gas-like pains in my lower left abdomen. I didn't pay much attention to it, but when the urge to relieve myself (hehe) never came, but the movement stayed I was like "Hmmmm..." So I took my iPod out, and payed close attention and thump! The baby whopped me! (duh - not too hard) I attributed it to my ever-tightening scrub pants. But ever since then, I've been feeling those same movements all over my lower abdomen. It makes me smile every time I do.

My next appointment is the 19th...time to find out what we're having! I am SO excited and can't wait. I'm taking off a Friday next month so my mom and I can go to my registry.

Ta for now and I'll be thinking and praying for all of you!

22 Week Updates

Belly Measurement/Weight: I'm not sure, I'll find out in 2 weeks at my next appointment. Right now I think baby is about the size of a banana and pretty close to a pound.

Physical Progress: I have a very round, basketball like belly. It seems huge to me. I keep wondering how much bigger can it get? It seems like my Uterus is already up in my ribs or it is pushing something up there. At the end of the day my ribs on my right side hurt so bad! I've also had a good amount of gas and heartburn.

How I am feeling about my body: I feel pretty good. I am glad to look pregnant and still be "skinny". I get a lot of compliments which is nice.

Energy Level: Lately I have had a lot of energy until about 6:00pm and then I am done for the day.

Baby Movement: Baby BB moves around a lot in there, I love it. Now that I feel his/her movements I feel better and more relaxed than when I had to wait to hear baby's HB every 4 weeks.

This weekend is my graduation party and I am very excited! Mr. BB planned it all too. We are having a pig roast with some sides and desserts as well. It should be fun! My house is so clean, hopefully it will stay this way and when I am nesting it'll be less demanding.

24 Week Update

How far along: Technically I'm a slacker and am doing the 24 week update a little late. I'm 25 weeks exactly today.

Total weight change: Had a doctors appt in the 24th week. I'm up 5 pounds in the last 4 weeks (apparently pretty par for the course for this stage of pregnancy). I think that brings my grand total to +11.5 at the doctors office. I guess this is the best spot to put that I had my glucose test this week. Passed the 1 hour!

Maternity clothes: I'm actually starting to outgrow some of the maternity clothes I got in 1st Tri. Mostly the belly is starting to poke out the bottom, but one sundress the girls are about to bust out of. Time for more shopping!

Stretch Marks: Still none. Counting my blessings on this one. For now.

Movement: This has been a touchy subject this week. From about Monday-Wednesday I was feeling little to nothing. A very pronounced change from the regular schedule and good wallops he's given me. I had a trip to labor & delivery to check up on him because of this (see previous post). He was fine, just burrowed in deep in my uterus so it was hard to feel him. He seems to be coming out of his hiding place some though. I saw my stomach move for the first time last night. So surreal! Oh & the most classy of all my symptoms this week, I had my very first sniss. Yup, passed the glucose test and snissed for the very first time right after finding out. Classic!

Sleep: Getting to be a joke. I'm up 2-3 times a night for bathroom trips and was up twice last night because my hands fell asleep (circulation issues).

Best Moment This Past Week: Hearing his heartbeat and finally feeling him move again when I was in L&D. I'd been so scared his change in movement was him giving me a sign something was terribly wrong. Finding out he was apparently fine brought tears to my eyes.

Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: Hands down the worry that came with not being able to feel his movements.

Belly Button In or Out: Definitely still in, but I think its getting shallower.

Cravings/Aversions: I've been loving me some brownies this week.

Symptoms: I actually had a decrease in movement for most of the week. New this week is an achiness in my extremities, especially my fingers. I'm not sure if its edema or carpal tunnel brought on by pregnancy...but either way its not too comfy. I've also found that my hands tend to get numb if they are raised above my heart (sleeping positions, carrying something, etc). Heartburn is stepping it up a notch, now coming a few times a week rather than once a week. My energy isn't what it used to be earlier in 2nd Tri either. Oh & I saw movement for the first time just yesterday.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Feeling this little bugger more, last week really gave me a scare. I'm also looking forward to being under a hundred days (double digits!!) during my 25th week.

Trip to Labor & Delivery

Well, today turned out a lot more exciting than I'd intended.

The little guy still wasn't moving much. A little thump last night and then nothing today. At my 24 week appointment yesterday the doctor had said that if I didn't start feeling things again that I should go in and get monitored to find out what's going on. I know that a noticeable decrease in movement can be a bad sign, so I went in. Figured better to go in and find out it was nothing to worry about than to not go in and regret it.

Before I even get started on how Labor & Delivery was, I have to tell you that driving myself to a hospital where the only association I have (so far) is my miscarriage being confirmed there...I was a nervous wreck that whole drive in. All the "this can't really be happening" feelings that were there in November came back and I had all I could do to hold it together and drive. I kept repeating to myself that there was probably nothing wrong in this case & this trip in will likely have a different outcome.


My doctor had let them know I was coming in, so they had a room set up for me. I got to get into a lovely gown, and then they hooked me up to the monitors. They were listening for baby's heart rate, and had me hit a little button every time I felt him move. I found out afterwards that this is apparently called a Non-Stress Test.

Please note that this isn't my stomach, the image credit is down below. This gives you a good idea of how I was hooked up though.

Thankfully, all is fine with the little guy. As the L&D nurse put it, "Wow, he's really deep down in there". Apparently he was burrowed deep down in my pelvis and therefore it was hard for me to feel movement. The monitor picked up his movement, most of which I didn't feel, in the same pattern as what I'd normally sense. Needless to say I felt A LOT better after that. They did a quick ultrasound after the monitoring as well. It was really hard to see much as it was a Level I machine and he's getting kind of big now (though I did find it funny that L&D referred to him as one of "the little ones"...to me he's HUGE now, but I guess in their world he is a little one). I did get to see a heartbeat though as well as his little hands and feet wiggling a little.

I know some people probably think I was overdoing it going in. The way I look at it though is that I noticed a pronounced change in how he was acting, and I know that going from moving a lot to not moving at all can be a very bad sign. I'd rather go into L&D and find out everything is fine and I was worrying for nothing than to not go in and potentially end up regretting it if it turns out there is something they could've done.

(Image credit:
http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/encyclopedia/T/Tests-during-pregnancy/Non-stress-test)

23 Week Update

How far along: 23 weeks 4 days

Total weight change: Last I knew it was +8 if you go by my scale at home, +6.5 if you go by the doctors office. That was 3 weeks ago though, and the belly has grown. One of these days I'll dig out my scale and update this one.

Maternity clothes: Pretty much all the time.

Stretch Marks: No, but I found a varicose vein. Boo!

Movement: He's moving around each day and has started to do so noticeably when I'm up and about sometimes. Prior to this week, I had to be sitting/laying down to feel him.

Sleep: Still up about 3 times a night for the bathroom.

Best Moment This Past Week: Feeling him when I was up and about.

Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: Moving. We're still in the midst of moving from our old place to our new one and I am both physically and emotionally spent. I just don't have the stamina I did pre-pregnancy. Add that to the fact that I can't carry much and that equals a bazillion little trips to and from the car. Those extra trips equal a sore butt, tired legs and achy feet. I'll be so glad when moving is over with!

Belly Button In or Out: Definitely still in

Cravings/Aversions: Nothing

Symptoms: Mostly just him squirming about in there.

What I'm Looking Forward To: DH being able to feel his son kick. He probably could now if he had the patience to sit there with his hand on my belly, but alas.

20 Weeks

So excited to be halfway there to meeting Baby BB! I had my 20 week appointment yesterday and everything went well. Here are a few updates:

Belly Measurement/Weight: I gained 2 1/2 pounds so I am up a total of 6 1/2 since I got pregnant.

Physical Progress: I wear maternity clothes all the time and definitely look pregnant. I am pretty sure my boobs are still growing! They are so heavy too.

How I am feeling about my body: I feel great about my body, I love looking pregnant!

Cravings/Aversions: None really.

Energy Level: I am starting to get tired more again. It takes effort to go up and down the stairs. I get tired after going on walks as well. I haven't been sleeping well because I have been uncomfortable so I feel tired all the time. I definitely sleep whenever I can.

Baby Movement: Baby BB moves all the time! He/she is very active. I love it, baby moving gives me reassurance that everything is ok in there.

My anatomy scan and fetal echocardiogram is tomorrow. Originally my midwife had it schedule for July 6th but I expressed some anxiety in waiting so she moved it up! I am excited to see my baby but nervous that we will have a similar situation to my scary NT scan. I am hoping and praying that everything is normal with baby so I can stop worrying. Hopefully baby's measurements and everything are perfect and we won't need any more tests/procedures. My midwife told me that because all my other tests, the CVS and bloodwork, came back normal there is really nothing to worry about.

I keep having dreams that my baby is a girl! The last two dreams someone has taken her away from me and I spend the entire dream trying to get her back. I always do get her back at the end of the dream and she knows I am her mom. I am not sure why I keep having these dreams, I always wonder if it is a sign that we are going to have a girl since baby is always a girl. Since we are Team Green we will not know until November whether I am right or not.

I will definitely update after my scan tomorrow. Wish us luck!

Quick 21 Week Update

(Image credit: Me!)

Hey Everybody!

Just wanted to check in while I have a few minutes. We're back from our trip! Now the fun of moving to a new apartment begins! The trip went well. It was H-O-T though. 90's each and every day. The photo above was taken in Arkansas. Gorgeous view of the lake. Our drive included a quick stop in Joplin, MO...which was eye opening. We weren't able to see the devastation, but I can tell you firsthand that the people there are still needing things as basic as food, water and clothing. There were dump trucks leaving one right after the other with debris and the National Guard was being escorted into town as we were leaving.

Pregnancy wise the trip was ok. I struggled with the trip there. Both my flights had seats that didn't recline, and my back didn't like that much. Then when we were in the home stretch of the drive to our destination, the roads got really curvy which my stomach and inner ears didn't appreciate. The heat and humidity was another challenge, but there was AC and a pool available, so I made the best of it. I did have to retire my wedding ring to a necklace though. I think it would do alright on my finger here where its more arid, but it wasn't happening there. The travels back were much better. Reclining seats really do go a long way.

I felt my first movement from the outside right around the time we left (June 3/4). Felt it again yesterday. Its really strange being able to tell which body part is whacking you. Yesterday, for example, it was a distinct baby fist punching me. The Mr hasn't felt the movement yet, I suppose that will come with time.

I'm starting to get some of the not-so-fun symptoms of pregnancy, too. Things like swelling (especially in that heat) and lightning crotch and varicose veins. Don't get me wrong, I'll deal with them 1,000 times over if it means a healthy baby in the end...they just aren't on my highlight reel of fun times.

Overall things are going well. He's moving each and every single day, which I love.

I hope everyone is doing well!

1:10

I had an OB appointment today. It was mainly just to check in and to listen to the heartbeat with the doppler. I also (finally) got my results from the NT scan weeks ago.

First the good news: Baby had a heartbeat and it was right on target for 17 weeks (~150bpm). Baby was moving all around in there. I also found out that that strange 'bug walking around inside of me' sensation I've had several times in the last week (and once at 13 weeks!) is, in fact, fetal movement.

Now the bad news: My NT results show that Baby has a 1:10 chance of having Downs Syndrome. To give you some perspective on this, based on age alone my risk was more like 1:400. These are not favorable test results. Based on what I can tell, the risk is largely going by the blood test results since the ultrasound itself showed no obvious problems (measurement was 1.4, nasal bone present, etc).

I have an appointment tomorrow with a specialist in Fetal Assessment. I'm hoping to have them go over the results with me, particularly the blood tests, to make sure that my doctor interpreted them correctly (she told me I was the first patient she'd ever sent for an NT Scan). Beyond that they will more than likely recommend an amniocentesis.

We'll likely go through with the amnio. I don't like the idea as there is a small risk of a miscarriage, but the idea of 23 weeks of not knowing what is going on with our child is even scarier for me. Plus if we are the 1:10, there are specialists who'd need to be seen to check for some other issues common with Down Syndrome babies.

Not going to lie, I'm terrified. My only close association with Downs Syndrome is with a cousin that died as a child of a related heart defect. I know there are wonderful stories out there, and I know firsthand the incredible amount of love Downs children have to share, but I also know that there are very real risks that come with it.

In the meantime, trying to focus on the fact that there is a 90% chance baby is perfectly fine.

Big Day!

Today has been a busy one!

The card I sent to my parents to let them know about their upcoming grandbaby arrived today. The beans are officially spilled! Once I got off the phone with them, I sent an ultrasound picture to the other members of our immediate families to let them in on the news. So far everyone seems to be really excited. Still haven't heard from a few people, hoping we hear soon so we can know its OK to tell additional people. Trying to avoid something being posted on Facebook or the like before certain people we want to know before the masses find out. The best part of all the bean spilling conversations so far was talking with my mom. I'd been worried for awhile that they might not be able to come out here when the baby arrives since finances are tight with them...and she made it clear she was planning on a visit. Yay!

The other reason today is a big day is that if you go by the 40 weeks divided by 3 to get 3 trimesters...I'm there today (13 weeks 3 days). I'm honestly in shock that we've made it to this point. Back when we got the positive test, I honestly didn't think we'd make it to 6 weeks...making it to 2nd Tri feels like a miracle. So, so very thankful for every day that Baby Cactus Bud stays put.

I suppose I should also do a 13 week update since I haven't yet.

So far this week things are going well. Was wicked nauseous the other evening, but other than that, no nausea or morning sickness to speak of. I'm still pretty tired in the afternoons. I joke about it being "Group Naptime" now since at the NT Scan the baby was apparently napping and it was right when I usually sleep...plus our dog always is game to join in on the napping, lol.

I do have two new and notable symptoms this past week though. Well, perhaps I should call them possible symptoms as I'm not positive that they were what I think they were. I'm pretty sure two different nights this week I've felt movement. It was really faint and very fleeting. Sort of felt like a bug running inside of my uterus. Not sure why everyone else gets butterfly flutters for a visual and I get one of a June Bug...but there ya have it. Both times it was at bedtime as I was relaxing with a book. The other notable possible symptom was possible Braxton Hicks contractions. I was a bad girl the other day and was a slacker with my water intake, and had a pretty notable cramp-like pain in one spot near my uterus. Put my hand on it and it was rock-hard. It went away like a minute later, but returned for a bit soon after. Anyone out there think either of these descriptions could be movement or Braxton Hicks?

No big changes with the other stuff I usually include in my weekly update. Definitely the high points of this week have been today: Telling our loved ones and moving on to 2nd Tri.

Hope all is well with everyone!

Take care,
Cactus Bud

Made it Halfway & other baby things

This Wednesday I will be 22 weeks!

Baby Sassy Bud is the size of a banana this week.

Photo Credit

I have been feeling movement regularly for a while now. I think I can feel it from the outside but Mr. Sassy Bud hasn't gotten his hand there in time to feel it yet. Her kicks are definitely getting stronger now.

We have also made some baby purchases over the past few weeks. We got our nursery set. It's the Nursery Smart Chelsea collection:

Photo Credit

We got a great deal on it from cribs.com. I have also started my cloth diaper stash. I'll save that for another later post but I got a ton of hand me downs along with some great sales on a few different CD sites.

Things have been crazy lately due to my law school semester ending (finals!!) and tax season but I'm sure I'll have lots of fun stuff to share in the near future. Stay tuned!

Newsflash - I Have a Stubborn Child

We had to know from the beginning right - from the hell we went through getting pregnant, to finding out about the lost twin, to the bleeding hell with the subchorionic hematoma... nothing about this was going to be easy, right?

Well, my 12 ounce child isn't making it ANY easier.

Smudge continues to be the most stubborn and uncooperative child there is.

We had our anatomy scan today. S/he's frank breech, which means i have a head, 2 hands and 2 feet at the top of my uterus and a butt at the bottom. I gave a stern warning that s/he has 18 weeks to flip around, otherwise, we'll be meeting for the 1st time in the OR, and I'm not planning on that. There's plenty of time yet for said flippage to happen, so I'm not remotely worried about it. My placenta has also shifted to be more anterior than posterior now. It's actually right at the fundus. So, that might explain why it took so long to feel consistent movement, what with all of the hands and feet at the placenta.

45 minutes later - we got to see a hand!

The sonographer couldn't get all of the views they needed to check everything, but what they did see was absolutely perfect. We have to go back in 2 1/2 weeks to try to finish the anatomy scan, and we're also going to get a fetal echo, which is a specialized heart ultrasound, because apparently with the type of IVF (ICSI) we had to do, there is a miniscule risk of cardiac issues. We're not remotely worried - but if it's just an ultrasound, why not make sure EVERYTHING is okay... so they'll do it at the same time.

20 week belly

Meanwhile - we found out our risk categories for downs syndrome (1 in 880) and Trisomy 13 and 18 (1 in 10,000), so we'll happily take those odds. Apparently the average downs risk for my age group is 1 in 300 and once we finish the anatomy and fetal echo, he anticipates our risk dropping even more. (I already knew my results were "normal", but I'm glad the perinatologist told us the ratios.)

Smudge chewing on a hand

Since Smudge was incredibly uncooperative, we got awful pictures today. With the ones the tech gave us, she had to explain what we were seeing. I begged the one with the open hand from the perinatologist himself, since the tech didn't give it to me. I figured it was the only really clear picture the whole scan, and I wanted just one i didn't have to explain. He laughed at me when I asked, and happily handed it over.

Hopefully we'll get better ones in 2 1/2 weeks.

Anyway - here's Smudge at 20 weeks 1 day and my big ole 20 week belly. Its starting to get in my way now. It's so funny. I love it. 20 weeks and less than 10 pounds gained (7 the last time I got on a scale). I'm really proud of myself.

18 weeks pregnant?

Apparently, sometime while I was asleep, Smudge grew to about 7 inches long, and 7 ounces. A little foot is now an inch long and s/he can recognize my voice when I talk.

When the heck did that happen?

So, since this apparently happened overnight, here are some of the things I HAVEN'T blogged about this month.

First, these are pictures from my 14w5d ultrasound that I bullied my OB into doing before i went back to work after the sub chorionic hematoma:










The one on the left, Smudge is waving and the one on the right is my scary alien baby... but it's really cool (i think) because you can see the structures in the skull, the developing brain, the rib cage, the heart, the upper arms and the beginning of the pelvic bone. Smudge spent the overwhelming majority of the ultrasound snuggled on my placenta like it is a body pillow. It was really cute.

Most importantly, you can't see the SCH... it was gone and I went back to work. I still hate my job. SO hate my job. There are more issues every day. And as much as I love my OB, she's just never going to get it. I hope I'm able to convince her later on that she's going to need to pull me early. I just can't do it much longer. By 34 weeks, I want to be out. I really don't want to get into all of the issues here, but the bottom line is I have an assistant manager who would be more than happy to get rid of me. People tell me she keeps coming after me because she knows she can make me cry. Which is nice for her, but sucks for me, because being a hormonal mess at work REALLY isn't my thing. I'm still looking for another job. I probably send out 5-10 resumes every week. I thought I had something lined up for a little while, but it didn't work out.

The only pregnancy issues I've been having lately have been blood pressure related. And my blood pressure is ONLY elevated at work.

For now, I'm hoping the rumors of voluntary lay offs are true, and I'll be able to leave work with a full unemployment package. That would make things much better for us right now. My stress level would drop considerably and we would just figure out the money. Maybe not the most financially responsible thing I can do - but the best thing, health wise, i can do for my child and for me.

Nothing is more important than this baby.

I've been having wicked round ligament pain - to the point of being doubled over and wanting to vomit. This is normal. Who knew that pregnancy hurt? We all knew labor hurts, but pregnancy? Just gives me an excuse to rub my belly, though. Oh, and i'm still on pelvic rest because of the SCH, bleeding and the lost twin, so we're still on standby in the bedroom. Dr Loh wants to wait until after the anatomy scan to check the placenta again before she clears us. Last weird pregnancy thing for today... I'm already leaking. At 18 weeks, I can express fluid from my breasts. It's so weird. But it's clear, and it's normal, and I guess it means i'm getting ready. Almost 1/2 way there. I can't believe in 5 months, I'm going to be a momma.

Other pregnancy related news is that I made the decision that barring medical complications, I'm going to have a natural delivery. It's been discussed with my OB and she's completely on board. I've even hired a doula to help me through it (click on the link for my doula's website). It's really important to me that after EVERYTHING my body has screwed up in the last two years, I can prove to myself that it can do this ONE thing that nature intended it to do. And staying Team Green is part of it... our "green-ness" is going to be the light at the end of an unmedicated tunnel for me.

Meanwhile, we've been TRYING not to baby shop... I had a HUGE moment the other day though, while I was browsing in Gymboree while Mr. DB was drooling over the iPhone 4 in the apple store. Unfortunately for my wallet, they had the cutest collection of gender neutral monkey clothes. Mr. DB has a HUGE monkey thing, and I'll be honest. I do too. Here are some of the first things I've bought for Smudge (fair warning - cutest clothes ever below):























Other things we've purchased are just little things... whatever discount cloth diapering supplies we can get our hands on, some clearance things on discount websites, like an organic moby wrap for about $11 and a boppy with organic cover for $29.99.

But here's the big one... we haven't purchased it yet, but I'm pretty sure we've decided. We picked out our furniture. We still need a glider arm chair with an ottoman for the nursery, but the crib and all we finally picked. We LOVE the Essex collection from Munire in Chestnut.

photo credit

In other baby news, I had my 18 week appointment yesterday. My uterus is perfect. Heartbeat is perfect and Smudge was really active during the doppler. My OB kept asking if I could feel the movements, but I can't quite yet. Hopefully soon. The best news? My blood pressure (94/58) and my weight (only gained 7 pounds so far!). I'm going to have to start wearing compression hose at work (stupid spider veins and swelling), but if that's what it takes to avoid the varicose veins my dad has, I'll do it.

And I'll leave you with this. I can't believe my fat ass is posting it here, but here goes nothing. This is an 18 week bump picture. You'll have to trust me that it isn't all regular fat. It truly is a baby bump. I'm hoping it becomes more obvious. We're going to start taking weekly pictures from here out. But I'm definitely starting to look pregnant and not just fat.


DH and I also had a conversation about #2 last night. Sounds kind of silly, since #1 isn't even here yet. But since our post baby plan for birth control is our mutual infertility, we're sort of hoping for a miracle baby within the first year. If miracle baby doesn't show up within the first year, we plan on going back to Dr Z as soon as Smudge is weaned to cycle for #2. It always makes me feel good to have a plan.

Anatomy scan is two weeks from today. Can't wait to see Smudge again. Until then....