Why don't I just adopt? Don't I know there are millions of older and disabled children in the foster care system waiting for a home? It's like buying a puppy from a puppy mill rather than rescuing one. Infertility treatment is like plastic surgery. It's natural selection. Insurance shouldn't pay for "lifestyle treatments", unlike type 2 diabetes, and lung/heart problems. (Don't get me started on how as a society we're paying for people with lifestyle induced illnesses like those THAT commenter seems to think are acceptable to pay for.)
The comments go on and on and on.
I spent all night crying.
I got home from work at 11:45pm. DH and I laid in bed, and I was sobbing like a baby.
Why is it so wrong that i want to have a baby? I CAN have a baby. My body was made for it. It works like it's supposed to. It WANTS to have a baby. It spits an egg out every cycle, right on time. It's hormone levels are right on target. And then it met a man... a man who 28 years ago, laid on a operating room table, and had a surgeon screw up.
Hopes dashed.
We want a baby. What makes us ANY different from anyone else in this country who wants to have a baby? We're paying our way.
Why does that make me a terrible person? Why am I a selfish drain on society?
Why can't we just be parents?
Maybe I had to read this article to know how I really felt. Yes, I remember, as a NICU nurse, saying those things 3-4 years ago... that IVF is directly responsible for the increase in prematurity. It's responsible for those tiny little babies that I took care of every day at work. Under 1 pound. Under 25 weeks gestation. Fragile and strong, at the same time. Not understanding. How could I? I held those babies as they struggled to breathe. I've held them as they died. And DH held me then as well.... as I cried for those babies that I tried to save.
One of the fragile and strong that I took care of: 1 week old born at 25 weeks gestational age.Today a healthy and perfect 2 year old.
And now I'm one of those women... just wanting a baby. I'm not like some of those mothers I didn't understand. We're not doing IUI with unknown numbers of eggs fertilized. In IVF, I would NEVER transfer more than 2 embryos, and we're considering talking to our doctor about what our chances would be if we only transferred 1. I have no genetic or reproductive issues... I should be able to carry to term. And even if we become pregnant with twins.... the overwhelming majority of twins are carried to term... healthy.
Making the decision to do IVF, a decision I never thought I would make, was hard enough. Why do I have to be made to feel this way? Why does it have to be even harder now that we've made the decision? As if the daunting thoughts of daily injections, egg retrievals (ER) and embryo transfers (ET) aren't enough stress.
Don't we deserve the chance to be pregnant?
