Second Ultrasound

So I got back from Thailand yesterday evening and scheduled my ultrasound for 9 am the next morning, can you say I was a bit anxious?! Everything looked great the baby is measuring at 10 wks 6 days and I am 10 wks 4 days so that is good. The heart beat is 158 bpm and was moving all around!! The Dr. was nice in spending a lot of time showing us all the arms, legs, feet, different angles and chatting about the baby. Mr. Explorer Bud and I were thrilled of course. I was really nervous that there wouldn't be a heartbeat just because there is a chance that happens and I really haven't had very much in the way of symptoms. Now I can just relax, enjoy being pregnant and start planning for this baby. I need to decide if I will go with a midwife and if so who and where I plan on having the baby. Oh and I can start to think about where to put the baby's room and all that fun stuff!! I am soo happy that things are going well and I get to go off Progesterone in a week. I drop my dosage down to .5 cc's and then we will retest to make sure I am still high enough. Here is the ultrasound pictures

The sweetest sound!

I went back to my RE last Friday (5/18) for another ultrasound after my spotting scare.  Needless to say, I was worried sick and didn't sleep well the night before.  My mom took the morning off to go with me since Mr. Bossy Bud can't get a lot of time of from work. 

We arrived 30 minutes late due to being directed off of the interstate because a truck overturned.  Then, it took my RE 15 minutes to come into the room.  It was all worth the wait, though.

Baby Bossy Bud looked great; measuring at 7 weeks 1 day. :)

I think I've listened to this video a dozen times already.  It's music to my ears.






Bossy Bud

On Edge.

Mr. Bossy & I have kept Lil' Bossy Bud a secret these past two weeks.  Only family and close, close friends know.  I can count on both hands how many people know that we're pregnant.

We decided this because of our miscarriage last November.  It is the most awful thing having to tell people that there isn't going to be a baby.  I NEVER want to do that again.

I've been taking it easy, and Mr. Bossy has been pampering me a lot.  Thursday evening, I went to use the bathroom before we were suppose to head out for dinner with a friend.  I always look at the toilet paper after I wipe.  It's just a habit.  This time, I saw a little bit of blood.  I immediately started shaking and ran to the kitchen to tell Mr. Bossy.  He barely got any words out before I was dialing my RE's office.  I told the receptionist my name and explained the situation.  Within minutes, my nurse was on the phone asking me what was wrong (the receptionist told her it was me). I was hysterical when I told her about the blood.  She was amazingly calm and asked me a few questions.

Is there a lot of blood?
Are you cramping?
Did you lift anything heavy today?

All of my answers were no.  She put me on hold while she spoke to my RE.  After what felt like a million years, she came back and had booked me for an 8:00 am appointment the next morning. 

I spent the rest of the evening in tears (needless to say- we did not go out to dinner) and prayed over and over again.  I called my mom and she offered to come over (she lives 10 minutes away), but I told her there was nothing she could do.  I spoke with my dad next, and he offered to take me to the doctor the next morning since Mr. Bossy couldn't take time off.  The spotting disappeared for the rest of the night.

I had sent my alarm for 6:00 am, but I woke at 5:00 and couldn't fall back asleep due to nerves.  I went ahead and got ready.  My dad arrived, and we began the hour drive to the RE's office.  He was chatty on the way, and I know he was trying to keep my mind off of things.

We got there right on time, and my nurse immediately called me back.  She took me back to the room and left me to get undressed.  I immediately put on my lucky socks!

My RE and my nurse both came into the room, and my RE asked me how I was doing.  I replied with- scared!!  She put the "magic" wand in and there it was- the gestational sac.  She measured and zoomed in.  In the top corner, she pointed out the fetus.  And then she saw it- a  flicker on the screen.  The heartbeat.  I was exactly 6 weeks, so she came into the room saying that we probably wouldn't see a heartbeat-  but we sure did.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  She said that everything looked great and for me to spend the rest of the day with my feet up.  30% of women spot a little and my RE's office expect their IVF patients to bleed.  I sure wish I had known this!

I reminded her that during my first pregnancy I had spotted, came in for a visit, saw the heartbeat, and during my return visit we discovered that the heart had stopped.  Of course, I had tears in my eyes and my lip was trembling as I said this.  I'm such a baby.  She reassured me that there was nothing else we could do.  I needed to stay positive.  My chances of having another miscarriage were extremely low.  I sure hope she is right.

Since then- the Lord and I have had many daily conversations, and I have been using "please" a lot.  I'm sad to say that I don't think I'll be officially excited until we get a little further along.  We love this baby and want to hold it in our arms more than anything.  I hope we do.

A weight lifted...

I decided to call my OB/GYN yesterday to see if my US could be moved up to this week since that's when they wanted it done anyway. A couple of hours after leaving the message for the nurse, she called and told me that it was scheduled for today at the hospital at 9:15! I was utterly surprised and excited. (My provider at work persuaded me to get my beta checked again because I worrying "too much." To my surprise it was over 188,000! The absolute highest it's ever been.)


Anyway, my mom went with me this morning and this is what we saw...

HAAaaaaaa. A sigh of relief, a few giddy giggles and a high five later the tech measured the heart rate at a strong 170 beats per minute. It was beautiful. And exciting. And exhilarating. And miraculous. To have never gotten this far in a pregnancy and to make it to this milestone...no words.

Thanks Buds for the support and I pray that we all will have Baby Buds in the months to come!

11 Week Update

We had an appointment today because my BP has been low lately. Luckily everything is okay, just some low iron which I can take a supplement for.

Awesome appointment because we got to hear baby's heartbeat! Amazing!

My nausea has been pretty nonexistent, yay! Cravings are really random but intense when I am hungry. I have gained 3 pounds and it is ALL belly, see baby Buttercup Bud and I below at 9 weeks 5 days:



I've been wearing maternity pants the past week! They are so comfy, I love them and live in them as well as sweats and PJ's.

Next week is our NT scan and I am super excited to see baby look like a baby! My grandma and I think baby is a girl but since Mr BB and I are Team Green we won't know until he/she is born.

I will update with pictures of my sweet baby next week after our appointment.

Best,

Buttercup Bud

Sweet Pea at 8 Weeks

That is my little sweet pea! We were not expecting an ultrasound but the midwife did one and it was incredible! Little Buttercup Bud's heart rate was 160 BPM and going strong. It was amazing. We printed out the picture and now it is on our fridge.

The midwife said according to her wheel I am due 11/10. However, I am still sticking with my calculations because I know when I ovulated. Besides, 2 days doesn't really make a difference because baby will come whenever he/she is ready. Although I do think an an 11/11/11 birthday would be cool.

Mr. Buttercup Bud and I were so excited/relieved to see our sweet little baby. It was wonderful seeing our little baby for the first time, even though he/she looks more like a kidney bean. I was so proud of our little baby for his/her little heart pumping away.

My next appointment I will be 12 weeks, wahoo! Almost out of first tri, thank God! I am so ready! I have been so sick. Our midwife offered to give me a prescription for nausea but I declined. I am really trying to be med free all the way through. Even if that is crazy, I figure I might as well start now so I can be prepared for a natural birth.

Until next time!

Buttercup Bud

First Ultrasound, Birth Center Tour, and First Fluff Mail!

I have to apologize in advance, this is going to get long! So grab a snack...

This was a week of firsts for us at the Magnolia Bud house. We had our birth center tour, had our first ultrasound with this pregnancy, saw that baby's heartbeat for the first time, scheduled our first prenatal appointment, and received our first piece of fluff mail!

I'll start with the ultrasound, it's by far the most exciting! I was scheduled for our first ultrasound yesterday at 6w5d--both for dating and because of our prior loss. The ultrasound tech started with ovaries (normal, phew), and then scanned into the uterus. Right away we were able to see that there was something there.

In fact, there was a little Baby Magnolia Bud in there! S/he measures .78 cm, which correlates to 6w4d to 6w5d. His/her little heartbeat was strong at 145!!! As soon as the tech held the wand still for a second, we could see the little heart flicker on the screen. Mr. MB was speechless, and I teared up. I never thought something the size of a sweet pea could make me get teary...who knew!?

The doctor came in and looked at all of our measurements, and gave us a new EDD--September 19. The doctor also told us that I'm now down to a less than 5% chance of miscarriage. We were both really relieved to hear that, but we're now also filled with more worry now that we're sure there's a healthy baby in there (what if we're the 5%? what if we should really be getting the FIRST testing done? what if I'm not getting enough nutrients because all I want to eat are rice cakes and apples? etc, etc, etc.). When I told Mr. Magnolia Bud that I was still worried (now about other things than whether Baby MB had a heartbeat), he said I should man up and get used to it--being a parent is full of worry, but it's also going to be a lot of fun. I married a very smart man, who's going to make a great dad!

Next up--the birth center tour. I've been going to a midwife practice for about two years for well-woman care, and there is a free-standing birth center associated with the midwife practice. It's the only one in the state, and it has an awesome reputation (even with the MFM doctors we've been seeing at local hospitals for ultrasounds). The tour is required before any patient can make their first prenatal visit, because they have a limited number of birth slots available for any given month. During the two-hour tour, we discussed what happens during prenatal appointments and a normal birth process, what happens if an emergency-type situation occurs, what happens during postpartum care--both at the birth center and at home, and the midwife giving the tour answered lots of questions from all of us. We finished with a tour of the birth suites. Once we left, we both knew that attending had solidified our plans to give birth there. Feels great to have a plan!

I was able to schedule our first prenatal appointment for February 25--I'll be 10w4d, and we'll hopefully be able to hear the heartbeat on the doppler then. Our plan is to tell our families that weekend if the appointment goes well.

Finally, we got our first fluff package this week! About two weeks ago, cottonbabies was having a great sale on bum genius 4.0 seconds, so I ordered some. (I thought I ordered 12, but my invoice only showed 9...which means I probably only ordered 9). They came this week, and we love them! Can't wait to use them when Baby Magnolia Bud arrives!!!

That's it for now, I think. I'm still feeling pretty cruddy every day, but the sea bands continue to cull the dizziness and some of the nausea. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Love, Magnolia Bud

8 Weeks and going strong

Today was my first official exam. Here's the report:

- Apparently I have a "good pelvis". The only explanation I could get that made any sense was "a good pelvis isn't small!" So I should be a birthing machine, apparently.

- I do not have HIV (I wasn't worried about this one. I don't make a habit of needle sharing) and I'm immune to German Measles. Mr. CB said the German Measles immunity is good news "If we ever move to Germany." Because, apparently, that's the only place the German measles can thrive.

- Baby CB is measuring at exactly 8 weeks today, which makes my due date August 16. I would like it known that this is the due date that I told them. They said July 28. Score one for me.

- Baby CB has a strong, fast little heartbeat, and, while s/he does resemble a tiny peanut, it is a vaguely human shaped peanut. I've been trying to scan an ultrasound picture, but it's not happening. Suffice to say that I uttered the phrase "That's a real baby!" just before I burst into tears.

Still amazed,

Almost in the double digits

Holy cow, this is flying by! I'm almost 10 weeks. Crazy.

Everything has been good so far. Baby has been measuring on time and with a very healthy heartbeat in the 170's. Morning sickness has been a beast but a combo of Zofran, Pepcid and B6 has kind of been helping. Not enough that I'm not still besties with the toilet some days.

I graduated from the RE and I love my OBGYN office so far. That's always awesome to have a great relationship with the person delivering your child. :)

I go back in about a week and a half for ultrasound #4 to calm anxiety and fears and then at 12 weeks is the NT test already!

I still have a lot of nightmares that something is wrong and it's been really hard to just relax and enjoy the pregnancy I worked so hard to get. I'm hoping that second tri brings enough assurance that I can finally accept and relax.

Keeping all of you Buds in my thoughts and prayers, especially those who are struggling right now.

32 week update and baby shower pictures!

I'm sitting here trying to think of something eloquent to type - but I'm too tired and too sick to be creative this morning. Sorry readers! I have a killer sinus thing going on, and add that to Smudge waking me up at 3:30am, my creativity is quashed today.

So - i'll just stick to the facts, ma'am.

And the fact is, I'm 32 weeks pregnant? Um, what? When did that happen? That's just crazy. We had a very uneventful visit this morning with Dr Loh. I'm up a total of 16 pounds for 32 weeks, so that's not too terrible. I'm not happy that the last 2 of them are in the last 2 weeks... but i'm just going to keep eating healthy, like i have been and not sweat it. I'm too freakin' tired to really exercise, so cest la vie. Smudge is finally headed, well, head down! I'm not getting too excited about it though. It wouldn't be the first time Smudge has decided to hang out on a diagonal. So, only time will tell.

It was funny when she was trying to find the heartbeat again - she said "he really wants me to chase him, doesn't he?" I just laughed. S/he kept moving and she would ask me if I felt the movements. You better believe it, sister. This kid HATES the doppler. It cracks me up. Smudge just kept rolling over every time she would focus in on the heart beat. Silly baby.

serious amounts of loot

This past sunday, my mom and sister threw a baby shower for us! We got a ton of loot. We only had 3 major things left to get afterwards: our carseat, the pack and play and the video monitor. Well, the next day I found a 20% off coupon for ALL monitors at BRU, so we went through the stuff that we wanted to return from the shower, and found about $100 worth of things we hadn't registered for. Between that and the coupon, the Slim and Secure Video Monitor only cost us $60. That's not too bad. We also got enough in gift cards that with using a coupon, we'll be able to get the Chicco KeyFit 30 car seat. So, really the only thing left is the Chicco Lullaby LX Discovery Pack and Play... and we're hoping we'll find it cheaper somewhere online.

My (I mean Smudge's) PBK Lambie - plays a heartbeat, nature, rain and whale ssounds. And it's SO soft. And, check out the belly - there's no doubt where the 2 pounds came from now, is there?

Gratuitous picture of me with Smudge's Papagayo Monkey. {{{LOVE}}}

Our awesome Papagayo bedding set (click on the link to see a better picture)

The baby's room is coming along really nicely. Mr DB finished laying the laminate floor, the walls are painted and the wainscoting and chair rail are up. We have to paint the molding and get that on, and then paint the wainscoting and chair rail, and then we'll be pretty much ready for furniture. Awesome. Here's a sneak peek at how hard my wonderful husband has been working:

That's it for now. Hope you're all doing well. Smudge and I are going to sit here, drink our tea and try to get some rest.

What a week! here is a recap... Monday 7/12 we had our second u/s with the RE and we were able to see our tadpole again. a strong heart beat pumping at 176 BPM and now we were able to distinguish her/his head and arms. Here is an u/s picture:

The RE said everything is growing on schedule and released us to my Ob/GYN. This was a bitter sweet moment. This is the lady that has helped us get to this point, the one that found us answers. She has been so amazing, what a shame she does not deliver babies. But I did promise her that I would bring her the little one after s/he is born.

After this appointment we went over Mr. Bud's parents house and showed them the u/s picture and told them they were going to be grandparents. They were over the moon. His mom did not stop crying, she was so so so happy for us. Before we could even tell her not to tell the rest of the family until at least 10 weeks, she had already called her two sisters and they told the rest of the Mr's family. I'm very nervous that I am still very early and so many people in the family know, but at the end of the day they are the ones that are going to be there if something happens. Either way I am thinking positive and this is all I could do.

The following Sunday, 7/18 we moved into our new apartment and its been an adventure... on move in day the Sewage pipe on the main building burst and we had to pause everything until it was fixed. Luckily we were just finishing unloading the last few boxes out of the u-haul before the pipe burst So we were able to grab some clothing and head out to the hotel until maintenance fixed the Pipe. We stayed at a hotel until Tuesday and what a pain in the but this was, I had no idea where my work clothing was packed (thinking we were going to unpack somethings Sunday) and then I got sick to my stomach eating fast food and any junk food since we did not have a kitchen to cook..

Luckily this weekend we were able to finish all of our unpacking and my mother in Law came over to help me clean and do laundry... What a blessing she is. My Mother in Law is such a great caring person, I could not have asked for anyone better.

Next week we have our first appointment with the Ob/GYN and Hopefully I can see the little one again.. I'm so anxious! And hopefully everything is ok and I can stop using the daily progesterone Suppositories.

Have a Great week!

we have a heartbeat!!!

Yesterday we had the baby u/s with the RE and we saw our tadpole, so tiny but yet so adorable. The RE was able to find it right away and the first thing she said was... we have a heartbeat and its a strong one, would you like to hear it? HELL YEA!!!! is what was going through my head, but I smiled and nodded. It was like my prayers being answered at that moment, the heat is beating 116BPM. As per the old wives tale, found here, It was said that 140+ beats per minute (BPM) was a girl and under 140 BPM was a boy. So lets see.

Here is a picture of the u/s... The head is up and he/she is facing to the left.

Our next u/s is Monday, 7/12 and hopefully we will have a little gummy bear looking baby :)

Thank you all for all of your T&P and well wishes!

The Sweetest Sound in the World

I really considered getting a doppler once I graduated from Dr Z, to sustain me during the long waits between OB appointments. (How anyone expects an infertility patient to be able to act like a "normal" pregnant woman is beyond me.) I did my research, found the best ones that could hear an early heartbeat that wouldn't completely break the bank, and started stalking ebay and craigslist (nationwide) so I didn't have to pay full price.

Then I started bleeding. Stupid subchorionic hematoma.

What a nightmare that was. Thankfully my doctor's office is wonderful (we love Dr Loh and nurse Maggie) and we were able to see that Smudge was okay right away... but now the anxiety level was even higher. How on earth was I supposed to handle the long wait between appointments now?! Bleeding, scared to death? That's conducive to relaxation. Sure.

So I made a plea to a group of women who know I how feel. Fellow infertiles, both pregnant and those who already have their take home baby/ies. And someone came through.

Thanks to the kindness of strangers, I now have a doppler I can call my own. I tried to pay for shipping, and I promised I would return it in 6 months, but she says no. She's 41 and she's done. It's mine.

And last night, for the first time, we heard Smudge's heartbeat. Not a ultrasound simulation in m-mode. Smudge's actual heartbeat.

Want to hear? It's music to my ears.

We have a heartbeat!

It has been way too long since I've posted - my apologies!

Today I had my first appointment with my OB. It was our 2nd trip to the doctor's in this pregnancy, but the first I only met with the NP, answered lots of medical history forms and got lots of info. Mr. NatureBud came to that appointment, but didn't come today. Since the NP told us their office only has one very old ultrasound that they don't use often, and that I wouldn't have an u/s until later in pregnancy, we didn't think there'd be any excitement.

Well, we were wrong. When I entered the exam room, the u/s machine was set up next to the table. As soon as the doctor came into the room, he squirted the jelly on my belly and got busy looking for Baby Bean. It took a minute - the longest and scariest of my life - but eventually he found a tiny flicker of a heartbeat, and declared our Baby Bean viable. The sweetest pronouncement of my life!

I've been so worried, mostly because so far I've been getting off easy with pregnancy symptoms. I feel nauseous every now and then, but I haven't puked once. I get really, really exhausted some days, but other days I'm fine. My sore and swollen boobs are really my only reminder that something is up down there. And total lack of appetite, too. I practically have to force myself to eat most of the time.

I can't wait until first trimester is over. I just want this baby to be "for keeps" so badly. We plan to tell our families just before the 12 week turnover, which is still a month away. Mr. NatureBud and I just keep reminding each other that Baby Bean will have his/her whole life to be loved by the world, and 4 more weeks in secret isn't going to hurt anyone.

But if I have to hear one more family member talk about how we're expected to be in Florida for Thanksgiving this year, I might just burst! Umm, I'll be edging on 9 mos. pregnant. A plane ride to FL? Don't think so.

Until next time!

Love from NatureBud and Baby Bean

Am I a fetus?

Ah, the questions I'm sure smudge is asking right now.

Depending on the website, smudge may not be an embryo anymore. The information is fairly evenly divided as to when an embryo is considered a fetus. Merck says 8 weeks, IVF.ca says 8 weeks and medline says 8 weeks. So we're saying 8 weeks.

And in that case... meet my fetus:














-----------Smudge 8w via Dr L ---------------------------Smudge 8w1d via Dr Z-------

At 8 weeks, we had our first appointment with Dr L, my new OB. Her partner (Dr M) is my Gyn, and I and thrilled that i'm able to stay with the same practice.

Dr L is exactly the kind of doctor I need. She's going to be a weight nazi, and has me already counting calories and calcium content and focusing on low-glycemic carbohydrates. I need that. After losing 60 pounds, and keeping it off for more than 2 years, I'm actually terrified of gaining too much weight. Not because I don't want to - i'll PROUDLY wear my baby belly, but that's all I want it to be. I'm still a good 45 pounds overweight, and I really want to keep it to the minimum. Hopefully she'll be able to help me do that so I can also try to avoid complications like gestational diabetes.

Another thing I like about her is that she isn't all about medication. THRILLED because neither are we. She asked me about constipation, which you all know I know well at this point. She had me add 500mg of magnesium to my vitamin regimen taken at night before bed. It's working so far. YAY for no more prunes. But I love how she went to the magnesium, and NOT the colace or the metamucil. This is definitely the doc for me.

I was a little concerned about her being a single doctor OB practice, but she was able to set our minds at ease. She schedules her vacations in advance, and if she has plans or makes plans for the window around your due date, they tell you at the time of your first appointment, so you can decide if you want to stay with the practice, knowing she might not be able to deliver you. For me, the worst case scenario would be if Smudge comes on thanksgiving, because she'll be 6 hours away with family, but other than that, we're good to go. I'm not worried.

The next day was my last appointment with Dr Z. It was so bittersweet. It was awesome that smudge is doing SO great (1 day ahead in growth and a perfect heartbeat). He was happy to tell me that our miscarriage rate is now less than 5%, having hit the 8 week mark. We saw little flippers on the u/s and a brain cavity! And I really love seeing the little flicker of the heartbeat.

Dr Z hugged me before we left. He said that if I ever want to come back for an appointment with him, all I have to do is call and that he WANTS to see me; they don't get to see many pregnant bellies at his office. He gave me his personal email address to send him pictures and updates. And best of all, he reminded me that he was ALSO board certified in ObGyn, so if I ever had any questions about something I was being advised to do, I could just call him and get his opinion.

Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE Dr Z? I'm going to miss him and his staff. We're sending them an edible arrangement to thank them for getting us this far, and for being so awesome.

So, for now, I have to try to get used to being a normal pregnant lady (albeit, one who is advanced maternal age). It's going to be difficult to switch to monthly visits rather than weekly. I'm used to all of this medical attention. So weird now.

So, our upcoming schedule:
10w: Next Dr L appointment
12w2d: NT scan
14w: Dr L
18w: Dr L
20w1d: Anatomy Scan

You know i'm going to have to finagle something for 16 weeks. There's NO way i'll be able to go a FULL month with NOTHING.

Oh jeez - i can totally see me buying one of those dopplers now, for in between appointment use. Hey - at least I'm trained to use it.

7w1d.... another chance to see smudge....

...and, smudge looks good.

She's 7w1d today. Her heartbeat was 158. She measured 7.9mm, which is almost double last week (4mm), and is measuring at 6w5d. The RE says that's perfectly normal.

My RE said that much like when the baby is born, and gets measured against a growth percentile chart, there's a "growth chart" for in utero as well and the baby has to measure within a week of the actual dates. So we're right on track. He said her heartbeat is perfect.

All told... things look good. He tried to kick me out today - but I suckered one more u/s out of him next week. I told him that he can't tell me the miscarriage risk drops to 5% at 8 weeks and not see me at 8 weeks.

In other news, I also talked to my RE about how an RN would break into the field of IF (i'm miserable at my job, and have been job hunting for quite awhile. Mr. DB and I have been talking about this possibility for about 6 months). He said that he might be looking for a new nurse soon (i know one of his LPNs left suddenly, and they're not thrilled with her replacement) ... i'm not going to hold my breath... but at least I opened a door.

Other news from the u/s: no obvious cysts, so we'll chalk up the weird left sided cramping to growing pains for now. No changes in the fibroid and the second sac is still resolving.

Pregnancy symptoms: I'm still peeing every 5 minutes, which is REALLY cutting into sleeping, but that's okay. At least I know I'm pregnant, right? Occasional nausea, and some dizziness... but I think between the Vitamin B6 that I'm taking and the acu are keeping the worst of the morning sickness at bay.

After all this time....

Almost 2 years of TTC, Countless Cycles, Devastating Diagnosis, Rivers of Tears and Two IVF cycles....

.... Have led me to you....

That's my baby smudge.

We had our 1st ultrasound yesterday at 6w1d. Our baby is measuring perfectly. We saw a perfect heartbeat and were able to hear it.

It was so surreal.

Dr Z saw a second sac, a lost twin. As bittersweet as that should be, i'm okay. I knew somehow, and had even commented to someone the other day that I felt like there had been two, and that one had been lost. It's really weird to be right about that - but I think, however I knew that, it helped me work through it before I even saw the u/s. I think that's why I've been so nervous the past week or so. Why i've been looking up everything I can about blighted ovum and things like that. Because I knew it was happening. And I was able to work through it before I saw it on the u/s.

I also asked Dr Z to check my fibroids. There's now only 1 and it's nowhere near the baby. Dr Z has no concerns about the fibroid affecting the pregnancy at all.

Meanwhile, we're absolutely thrilled about our little smudge... please keep thinking about us. The next 2 weeks are really important. We'll go back for another u/s in one week, and then again the following week.

I love you baby smudge.

Lots of Updates

I'm sorry its been a while since I updated everyone. I was sort of waiting to see if things progressed before getting too committed to being excited. Its a bittersweet feeling to always have that impending what if question in the back of your mind.

The last time I wrote, my HCG was 299, it jumped to 1288! So they're not doing hCG draws anymore, but unfortunately I am now having to get Progesterone Injections three times a week because my Pro went from 15 to 13 to 10.3. This had me SO worried before our first u/s appointment this week because low progesterone probably contributed to our loss.

Well, we went to the u/s and of course I was a nervous wreck. We ended up having to wait 45 minutes after my appointment to get in. They were really busy. We got in, they took us to the room that I deemed "D-Day" (where we found out Angeline hadn't had a heartbeat)... and almost instantly we saw the little flicker on the screen. Well... it was really hard for me to see but Mr MB saw it instantly. Our little one had a heartbeat of 97 bpm!!

Doc said thats a little on the slow side, but because I was measuring 6w2d (I thought I was 6w5d) I probably implanted a little later so it was right on track.

As of now, I'm just praying that at my 8 week appointment the heartbeat is still there, first of all, and secondly that it's a little faster. My due date got changed to November 28th.

Unfortunately, in my personal life my grandma is on her death bed in California. She's been fighting a very rare stomach cancer for two years and all of the steroids they had her on trying to figure out a treatment plan gave her lesions and sores over her entire body. They got that under control and we thought she was improving and all of a sudden she had a massive amount of internal bleeding. She's on morphine for pain, and she's ready to go. She promised to watch over the baby and I for the rest of our blessed lives. This will be the first loss in the family I've ever experienced (and at 25, I'm pretty lucky!) so it's been extra hard.

After we finish telling our parents, I'll share our reveal stories! Hope everyone had a happy Easter!

9 weeks, 6 days!

Hey there everyone! I apologize for being so MIA lately - I have been sooo busy @ work; I'm going to training for two weeks at the end of this month, so that has made me even more busy. Besides that, I haven't had too much going on Baby Worry Bud-wise. I did have my first OB appointment last Wednesday & it was pretty uneventful - they just went over some Dos & Don'ts of pregnancy, took my weight (up about 4 lbs since starting IVF...eek), asked a few questions, allowed me to ask any I had, gave me some literature on some optional testing I could have done, as well as some general pregnancy, took blood & urine for some testing. All my tests came back clear & I found out that my blood type is B+....no, I never knew that, lol.

My next OB appt. is on Friday, April 23rd - and that'll be a "fun" one - we get to hear the baby's h/b with the Doppler!! I'm so excited about that b/c we have never heard Baby WB's h/b (only seen it) & that'll also be our last appt. before we enter the second trimester! Even though, I know that after you see the baby's h/b that the chances of miscarriage go down to like 2-5%, but I'm still nervous. Can't help it I guess - it's in my nature to worry. But, I just continue to pray that everything with Baby WB continues to go well & that s/he continues to grow, big, strong & healthy.

Photo Credit

As far as the optional tests, we will likely do the u/s called the nuchal translucency (NT) scan (which examines the baby's skin folds behind the neck) although I am considered relatively low risk for Downs Syndrome, but it's an extra u/s & my insurance will likely cover it 100% (I'll check on that first) & it carries essentially no risk to the baby since it's just an u/s & I think maybe some b/w. My OB routinely only orders just one u/s at about 18-20 weeks & that mid-late June for me! I don't know if I can wait THAT long to see Baby WB again. I kinda wish my RE didn't release until 10-12 weeks, sigh. At this point, we don't plan on doing any other optional testing b/c many of the tests come with risks to the baby - small risks, but I don't want to do anything that could potentially cause harm to the baby or the pregnancy.

As far as symptoms -they are on & off. I still get pretty intense, but very short-lived stabbing/twisting pain in my ute area & I have had this really sharp pain in my butt that radiates down to my leg on my left side. I spoke to the nurse at my OB office & she said it sounds normal. That unless it sticks around for several hours or becomes excruciating, then it's normal to have pains here & there since your body is going through lots of changes. I feel nauseous sometimes, but only when I don't eat often enough, but I haven't thrown up yet, woot! I have gained weight in my mid-section area & have started wearing belly bands with my pants that are a little too tight & they have been working really well for me. I got the exact ones (in black and white) pictured above from Etsy seller RunSystem63 - she has awesome prices...I got two for the price of one Target brand Be Band. Also, Old Navy was having an awesome sale this week, so I got some maternity hidden waistband work slacks in a few colors & some low-rise jeans in a dark wash. I'm a long way from needing the shirts, but my pants are getting pretty tight. If all continues to go well with Baby WB, I'll start posting regular "bump" pics starting at 12 or 13 weeks. I have been taking them since 4 weeks, when we found out I was pregnant, b/c I have this awesome pregnancy journal, called "The Belly Book" by Amy Krouse! It chronicles your pregnancy & belleh thru out your 40+ weeks of pregnancy. It actually starts with week 1, which is a little pointless since you aren't even pregnant by then, so the first 3 weeks are blank in mine.

In GREAT news - we got paid out from our FSA for the $10K we put in, so we paid off that portion of our IVF loan, which takes a huge financial pressure off of us. We are saving about $250 a month in loan payments, holler...all of which will likely go towards saving for stuff we'll need for the baby. The room in our house (the guest room) where the nursery will be is on my spring cleaning list - we need to dispose of or Freecycle the mattress & bed rails, get rid of my old desk, clean out the closet & put in a closet organization system (it's a teeny tiny closet), clear out all the other clutter in the room (it currently holds all of our important papers, my crafts, etc). I can't wait to find out the sex of the baby & get started for real on a nursery! That's all I got for now, hopefully work will calm down & I'll be able to post more often again. Thanks as always for all the continued T&P for baby WB...it means so much to me & Mr. WB!

1st baby related ultrasound!

Yaaaay! Yesterday went awesome. I was so nervous walking into my RE's office, but Mr. Worry Bud assured me that everything would be alright...don't you love how men are always so confident? LOL. Anyways, the u/s yesterday went AMAZING!!! As soon as the tech stuck the probe (vag cam) in, we saw a big black sac and a little white mass looking thing towards the bottom of the sac (there is also the yolk sac right above the baby). That little white mass is our pride & joy - Baby Worry Bud!!


Yep, only one LO growing in there, but we are more than thrilled with that as long as our baby is happy & healthy. The u/s tech took some measurements, then zoomed in for "the fun stuff". And we saw our baby's sweet little heart flickering on the monitor (116 beats per min :o). It was one of the best moments of my life - and even Mr. WB almost cried. :) I finally felt like I could breathe at least a small sigh of relief. Afterwords, we sat down with my wonderful nurse & she gave us instructions for the next few weeks - I am to continue the Endometrin 2x a day until March 27th, then I can go down to once a day until April 4th; I also continue my Estradiol 2x a day until April 4th; stop the baby aspirin now. As soon as we left the office, Mr. WB called his mom on speaker & told her she was going to be a grandma - she cried. She always cries about EVERYTHING, so no surprise there but she was so happy.

Based on the talk with my nurse, I will get one more ultrasound at my RE's office when I'm just about 8 weeks & then will likely be released, so she advised that I call my OB/GYN to set up a prenatal appointment with them. I called yesterday afternoon & my first appointment is March 31st! It will be an "intake appointment" with a nurse & she will discuss the Dos & Don'ts, ask questions, etc. Then, the next appointment will be about two weeks later where they will listen for the baby's heartbeat with the Doppler. I plan on asking how many ultrasound's I get at my first appointment. I know for sure my OB/GYN doesn't do u/s in office, so I'd have to go somewhere else.

Today I am 6 weeks, 4 days pregnant & am due on November 6, 2010!! As always, I want to thank all of you for the continued thoughts & prayers - they have really helped us get thru this IVF cycle! I get to go back on March 26th for another look at Baby WB, woot!! Until then, I'll be counting down the days!