He's Here!!!

After a long Journey, 2 m/c and 1 cp Our little man arrived February 15th at 1:36pm and we could not be happier. He is so perfect and we are so much in love. Labor was amazing and I would do it again in a heartbeat!

Here is my birth story -
Monday 2/14, I had my 39 week appointment and I was 4 centimeters dilated. My Dr stripped my membranes and asked me if I would like to be induced that afternoon or first thing in the morning. Since I knew induction would take a long time I choose to be induced first thing the next morning so that I was able to go home to pack up any last minute things and rest.
Tuesday 2/15, We checked into the hospital at 7am and was in our room and hooked up to the IV's with pitocin by 8:30am.

10:40am - the nurse checked me and I was a little over 5 cm dilated. The contractions were not as painful as I thought but I requested the Epidural just in case the intensified or it was too late to request it (I am so glad I did this).

11:45am - my doctor came to check my progress and break my water. This was the oddest feeling ever... I felt as if I had the Niagara Falls coming down my leg, I can not image my water breaking at home.. I would have freaked out!!! My Contractions were slowing down from 4 minutes apart to 6 minutes apart. My doctor estimated he would be here by 2.

12pm - The cafeteria opened to I told my DH to go grab some lunch since my contractions were slowing down and this would probably take some time. He left with my cousins and I took the opportunity and rested.
1:05pm - I was on skype with my sister and feeling a little pressure and this odd feeling that the baby was pushing and trying to get out of my butt (odd explanation).

1:15pm - The nurse comes in to check on my contractions and I explain to her this odd feeling I was having (truthfully.. I thought the epi was running out and I was feeling the contractions.. I did not want to feel that pain and was ready to ask for another dose of epi). She was hesitant to check me because she had just checked me less than 2 hours ago ans was worried of the risk of infections. I requested her to please check for some assurance. When she lifted the sheet she jumped up and scream.. 'He's right there!!!' OMG.. I almost died.. I was going to have this baby without my doctor and he's not going to be ok.

1:24pm - The nurse runs out of the room screaming to call my DR and grabs another doctor to stand in the room just in case my doctor did not make it on time. She tells me not to push nor make any movements. My DH keeps telling me.. 'This is not our doctor.. where the hell is out doctor?!?!?'...


1:29pm - Thank God my doctor comes running in and gets to work. It was amazing how quick he was dressed, prepped the table and coached me on what to due.

1:32pm - I start pushing.. three pushes later my son was born at 1:36pm weighing 8 pounds 7 ounces at 20 1/2 centimeters. He was so alert and cried for two seconds and then just looked at my Husband and me. Amazing, the best moment of my life.



I had an episiotomy because my hemorrhoids were out to the point my doctor did not want for me to push as much to make the situation worst. My recovery has been challenging due to the hemorrhoids, I had a thromboses Hemorrhoid and went to the rectal surgeon to have it removed but he did not recommend removing it since I have had this procedure done in the past, and prescribed new antibiotic. Two weeks later I can finally sit straight without any pain and my doughnut pillow.

LO almost had to stay in the nursery because of the Billy Rubin due to our blood types not being compatible. The pediatrician told us on our last day of the hospital he was border line but will be able to go home, just to make sure he had sun baths, feed and pooped enough to fight any my blood.


BF was difficult in the first few days, because I was not able to sit due to the hemorrhoids and the only position LO was only able to latch was when we were both laying down. When we arrived home I started pumping to supplement while I recover and now he is back on the breast.


Here are a few pictures...
The day before going into labor -


2 Weeks old -






1 Month & 1 Week -




Thank you for all of those who have wished us well through out my pregnancy. Please never give up, always keep your head up and stay positive. I wish the best to all of those that are TTC.

Lots of love,


Flora Bud

New Cycle. New Plan.

So I guess by the title of my post you figured out last cycle was a failure?! It took six BFNs before it was drilled through my thick skull that I wasn't KU. I finally accepted defeat last Friday (11 DPO) and called my OB to set up a WTF appointment since I wasn't pregnant. He wanted me to wait two cycles after my Chemical Pregnancy before meeting with him to discuss my next steps. Thankfully my OB's office doesn't have a crazy wait and they were able to squeeze me in for a Saturday appointment. Nice. I always feel like the nerdy OB patient showing up eagerly with my charts in hand. My doc always gives me a little laugh and the side eye, kinda like whoa, you're serious about this stuff. Guessing from his reaction I assume that not many of his OB patients take this active of a role in the fertility process. LOL. But nonetheless, he is always impressed with my energy and does study my charts (or at least pretends to). It's nice to know that my efforts don't go to waste.

He looked over my chart, made a few notes, asked a few questions before he concluded that I have a mild case of PCOS. He had always suspected I had PCOS but this time he officially diagnosed me. Awesome. But hey, at least we have a starting point to figure out why the hell I can't get pregnant. We discussed testing and medication and decided that for my particular set of circumstances Clomid would be the best option.

"Wait, what about the HSG or the SA? Shouldn't we start with those steps first?" I was kind of shocked that Clomid was his first suggestion. His reasoning for bypassing those other options is because a) I have a 1 year old daughter b) got KU in December and c) have the same husband. But I was still scratching my head. "Why would you prescribe Clomid if I am ovulating? Isn't Clomid prescribed to people who don't ovulate?" Well, Clomid will help regulate my cycles to a more acceptable length, meaning I will ovulate sooner in my cycle. Apparently the quality of the eggs could be compromised due to late ovulation. Which might have had something to do with my Chemical Pregnancy in December. Gulp. You mean there's a real possibility I could have another chemical pregnancy? He said it's possible there was a correlation between the two but obviously we don't know that for sure. Yikes, that wasn't an angle I hadn't considered. That kind of put things in perspective for me, Clomid could help me get pregnant and possibly lessen my chances of another miscarriage.

::side note:: among my cycles in the last year, I have had two 60+ day cycles that had to be ended with a round of Provera. I also had one 19 day cycle in which I have no clue if I ovulated since I was on a charting break. And just recently, my last two cycles were 40 days with ovulation somewhere around CD 27.

My doc wants me to wait until I have had three cycles from my chemical pregnancy before starting a medicated cycle. According to my calculations, the earliest that would be is the beginning of April. Surprisingly, I am ok with the thought of waiting until then which is probably baffling to some of you. Patience is not my strong suit, hence my POAS weakness. Ha. But before you go thinking I have turned over a new leaf, I should disclose that I will be out of town and away from Mr. PB&J during my fertile window. So this cycle was a bust anyway.

So that's the plan stan. I am not pregnant, won't be next month either, and if I am lucky I will have a baby by January. And if you made it this far, thanks for reading my long winded update :)

PB&J Bud :)

IVF #2 Results and a Bad Day ...

Just got in from work after having a flat tire on top of everything else :(

I went for beta this morning knowing it would be low or negative because I started cramping late last night, bleeding this morning and I passed embryonic tissue right before I left for beta. Clinic called this afternoon beta was negative but technically this was a c/p. Not sure why I keep having so many c/p when all 0f my immune results are normal (This makes c/p #3). I have to schedule a WTF w/ my RE then I will do an FET in March or April. Overall I am still happy with how this cycle went and with my new clinic. Just trying to rest and now I am curled up in the bed watching TV. It has been a rough day... Thanks so much for all of your support ladies ;)

Introducing PB & J Bud!

Hello! I am PB&J Bud and the newest blogger for Bloomin' Babies! I love all things peanut butter and my husband (most of the time), whose name starts with a J. So PB&J seemed like an appropriate Bud name. I am a avid reader of Bloomin' Babies so I am totally honored to become a blogger!

Mr. PB&J Bud and I started dating in 1999 when I was a freshman in college. He was cute and I was smitten. And we both liked to quote Seinfeld. So I immediately knew he was the one! We had a long courtship of 8 years before we were finally married in 2007. I think "long courtship" sounds better than saying he was a slow mover. Ha.

We are the proud parents to beautiful Little PB&J Bud who was born December 8, 2009. As cliche as it sounds, she is the greatest thing that ever happened to us. She is amazing! And like every other mother in the world, I will argue that my baby is the best baby in the history of babies. Becoming a parent for the first time was such a exhilarating experience that we decided we wanted to add to our family when Little PB&J Bud was only a few months old. We have officially been TTC number two since April of 2010.

Of course I have to include a pic of Little PB&J. She has just started walking and is quite proud of her new skill.


And for fun, I'll throw in a pic of Mr. PB&J and I on our wedding day. We were both skinnier then. My excuse is I had a baby. I'm not sure what his excuse is.

The road to TTC number two hasn't been an easy one. I have had a series of long, irregular, anovulatory cycles which have been nothing short of defeating. I have charted, drank POM Juice and Green Tea as well as religiously popped Evening Primrose Oil caplets all in the hopes of getting pregnant. When those methods failed to work I decided to take a back seat approach to TTC (mostly to save my sanity) and I found out I was pregnant with baby number two in early December. I can't even begin to tell you how excited we were! I was FINALLY pregnant and we could put the stress of TTC behind us once and for all. But, I am sorry to say the pregnancy was short lived and I started cramping and bleeding two days after my BFP. To make matters worse, the cramping and bleeding started hours before my daughter's first birthday party. Awesome. My chemical pregnancy was later confirmed at my OB/GYN appointment that following Monday.

So here I am, going on 10 months of TTC and I am back a square one. I was given the all clear to start TTC from my OB last cycle. You know that saying of how you are more fertile the cycle after a miscarriage? Yeah, well I bought into it even though I knew I shouldn't have. But I couldn't help it! The thought of getting pregnant again so soon was the one thing that helped me deal with the chemical pregnancy. So when AF arrived in January, I was completely let down.

I am excited to share my experience here with others who are going through the same thing! Mr. PB&J and I have decided to keep our TTC journey to ourselves for now. Which meant he has had to solely bear the brunt of my frustrations regarding TTC. Poor guy! So since I now have another outlet to discuss CM, temperature shifts and OPKs, it will alleviate the amount of TMI I share with him :)

Thanks for listening! I am never good at introductions so I hope mine wasn't too awkward!

Love,

PB&J Bud

Chemical pregnancy: Check

Mr. GB will tell you that I'm almost always right. It drives him crazy. I have a sixth sense about things and a way of predicting the future that surprises even me. And I had a feeling this past weekend that I was looking at a chemical. I don't care what anyone says--the pee sticks don't lie. And this morning's pee stick was lighter than last night's, and it was no shock that my hcg has dropped to 29.


While I would have liked to be one of those miracle low-hcg success you always hear about, why should I be? Absolutely nothing in the reproductive department has EVER gone my way. Ever. I always fall on the wrong side of the statistics. Always. My RE clinic has a 77% success rate for donor cycles. Guess where I fell? My Bitter Infertile's Bucket List just got another check mark. Whoopee.

Why won't anybody believe me when I know that things aren't going to work out? Mr. GB and his foolish optimism this morning...even my RE who seemed to think that a bum lining wouldn't cause issues. Was that some kind of sympathy diagnosis? Can I please get a refund on my embryo transfer because I effing told you so?

I have to go back again in a week to make sure my level is 0. Gee, as if I didn't spend all goddamn summer waiting for my level to go to 0. Now I get to do it again. (Isn't it ironic that I'm more pregnant when I'm NOT pregnant? That I use more pee sticks trying to get UNPREGNANT than pregnant?) And then there are all the hugs and sympathy notes from the nurses and staff. (That's 5 failures for me at that clinic, but who's counting?) I might need two checkmarks next to "Cried at the RE's office."

And is this even a loss? Or is it just some pink dye that showed up due to a chemical reaction?

And to think I thought I could get pregnant again before my due date. HA! Wasn't that a cute little bit of hope wrapped up in a $25,000 bow.

So let me tell you how I think this is going to end.

I will have a follow-up phone call with my RE. She will tell me that she really thought this would work, that I would get lucky. Maybe she'll offer me a discount on a frozen cycle. She'll tell me to wait for AF (which will be here within a week or so), and then she'll tell me to call and schedule yet another hysteroscopy so she can look for scarring. (My gut says that there is no scarring because the transfer itself went smoothly and there didn't seem to be any blockage, but who knows, maybe there is a bad patch or two.) AF is going to make Saw 3 look like a fairy tale. Now I know from experience that my first post-failure cycle always takes 40-50 days (unless she puts me on the pill). Assuming I go pill-free, this pushes us out to 2011 before I can cycle again. And that assumes I don't need any follow-up surgery to deal with scarring. So now I am very possibly looking at celebrating my 40th birthday in February with no baby and no pink dye. Or maybe we'll get lucky and have a frozen transfer on my birthday like the one we had on our anniversary. I'm going to ask for the same doctor as last time (Dr. D). And I'm going to transfer 2 and both are going to stick and we'll live happily ever after and donate our other 3 embies to another couple.

Or something like that.

Beta In.... Unbelievably Wierd...C/P?

Dr. B just called me and my beta was a BFN .... What??? How could that be when I got a BFP on a digital just the day before the test? I believe I may have had a very very early chemical pregnancy? It's the only explanation I can think of...

Photography Credit

Dr. B thinks I possibly had a faulty digital? Beta came back negative and he said if I had a chemical the levels would NOT have dropped that fast from Sunday to Monday. He had me retake the digital today and it was a BFN. Lesson learned here: Wait for the beta! Our next move becasue I am not a spring chicken anymore... We are STRONGLY considering IVF with Dr. B.

Photography Credit

A new bud...

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

::stands up on podium::

Hi, my name is Mrs. Love Bud and I struggle with Infertility.

Mr. Love Bud and I have been together for almost 6 years. About a year in to our relationship we decided to forgo using any kind of contraceptive. Brave, huh?! While we weren’t TTC at the time we obviously weren’t really TTA either. My potentially getting pregnant was kind of an unspoken thing and if it had happened we would have been okay with it.

Fast forward to about a month after we got married(12/07)…..

Introducing, TOTAL MELT DOWN on my part.
It seemed like the whole 3 years prior, my never getting pregnant all started to make sense and it wasn’t good. I just KNEW deep down that there was something wrong. Mr. Love Bud and I had a very intense conversation that day. We agreed to wait 6 months before “actively” trying.
Fast forward again to May 2008, we started to BD like crazy around about the time of the month I thought I was O’ing. I made an appointment with an OB and I visited her in June 2008. After visiting with my OB in June (pre-pregnancy consult) who told me to try for about 6 months if not come back for further testing etc, in July I had a CP. After that, I started having lots of problems cycles lasting 1-2 months, pains in my ovaries and lots of other uncomfortable things. At my June appt. my doctor had brought up PCOS as a possibility but decided to go the natural route for at least 6 months before running any tests. In December 2008 my insurance was changed at work and I could no longer see my OB. So I searched for a new doctor and had to wait 2 months for an appointment on February 27, 2009. In visiting the new doctor she ran all kinds of uncomfortable tests after I explained everything that had been going on. A month later I went back in for the results and on March 27, 2009 I was formally diagnosed with PCOS. Thankfully, I had no other issues. PCOS can cause diabetes and I was extremely nervous about that. My doctor's remedy....lose weight (50lbs to be exact) and come back in 6 months. Deep down, at that moment, I wanted to cry. I walked out of the doctor's office with my game face on and a sense of determination but the reality was that I was even more discouraged than I was before I went in. About a week later it really started to sink in how "not okay" I was with all of this. I couldn't help but think to myself "big girls have babies all the time". The reality is that other than being over-weight there is nothing else wrong with me. I didn't mind watching what I ate so no further problems arose and attempting to lose a few pounds but, I did not want it to be a pre-requisite for having a baby. The reality is, even if I lost the weight before hand she could not guarantee me that it would help. So after going back and forth, crying lots and lots of tears and having my heart literally hurt 24 hours a day over the fact this is so difficult, when for others it's SO easy, I decided to go see another doctor. I also found lots of encouragement from girls on message boards in similar situations and this site which basically stated if a doctor tells you to lose weight and come back....get a second opinion.

So that’s what I did. I made an appointment with the only RE covered under my insurance. This, of course, is over an hour from my house. Awesome.
My new doctor is amazing. She said that although doctor's will always say losing weight helps that is not an issue and we need to move past that to find a solution :) I was very happy to hear that. After the initial consult I went through a long list of testing that they do with all their new TTC patients. The testing entailed giving about 30 vials of blood….and NO I’m not exaggerating. Even the nurse couldn’t believe it. Mr. Love Bud had an SA done. The result came back good :) He was above average in all areas except morphology but since his #’s were so high in other areas she said it balanced out and there was no need for concern.
I also had an HSG done to rule out any other issues. Normally this test is done after failed cycles but my RE wanted to do it from the get go.

Here is some information on the HSG since a lot of people do not know what it is:

A hysterosalpingogram (HSG) is an X-ray test that looks at the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and the area around them. It often is done for women who are having a hard time becoming pregnant (infertile). During a hysterosalpingogram, a dye (contrast material) is put through a thin tube that is put through the vagina and into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are hooked together, the dye will flow into the fallopian tubes. Pictures are taken using a steady beam of X-ray (fluoroscopy) as the dye passes through the uterus and fallopian tubes. The pictures can show problems such as an injury or abnormal structure of the uterus or fallopian tubes, or a blockage that would prevent an egg moving through a fallopian tube to the uterus. A blockage also could prevent sperm from moving into a fallopian tube and joining (fertilizing) an egg. A hysterosalpingogram also may find problems on the inside of the uterus that prevent a fertilized egg from attaching (implanting) to the uterine wall. Source

The HSG sucked. If you’ve never had one, be thankful.

In the end all the test came back great. I was very relieved since I was sick to my stomach with worry the whole 2 weeks before the follow-up appt. The RE met with us and we decided on a plan. We were going straight to IUI and we were going to do it with a “mini stim” combination of oral and injectable meds.
We were pumped!

Apparently, my ovaries…..not so much.

My IUI cycle was cancelled not once but twice due to this monster cyst on my right ovary. So August and September were a bust. To top it off, I had to take BCP again for the first time in almost 5 years. I mean really, how much more counter productive can you get?!
This has gotten really long and high 5 to you for making it this far if you have! I promise, I’m almost done!

This past Tuesday, CD 3, I went back in for another u/s and I was sure they were going to tell me the cyst was still there. Well….I was wrong J I guess third time is a charm because all was well with the ovaries and they sent me home with meds, Rx’s and a schedule for this month. It’s a pretty incredible feeling to know that it may FINALLY be a possibility.

So that’s how we got to today. There will be more information on our schedule in a new post. I hope you will continue to follow our journey to getting our own Little Love Bud.

So . . . now we wait

I am VERY pleased to announce that I got my BFP! With that . . . I shall tell you the story of how incredibly stupid I am.

Tuesday, I had plans to go to a Pampered Chef party at a friend's house. The person selling is PG and she knows we've been TTC. I decided I wanted a drink that night because I didn't want to answer any questions. I decided Tuesday morning - even though it was really early - I would take a test. That morning I woke up early, and, peed on my stick. I then decided to wait less than 2 minutes, see the negative I was expecting, then toss it out. In hindsight - not the best plan - but I was sleepy and clearly not thinking straight. Later, when I woke up again, I was again not thinking clearly when I decided to take it OUT OF THE GARBAGE and look at it. Of course, there was a line, but of course, I couldn't trust that considering!!

Now, after 4 tests, I have two distinct lines on my test!!!!

Now I remain cautiously optimistic. I'm having the early signs of morning sickness. I've literally been sick to my stomach for three days - constantly - though no throwing up. I'm hoping my early BFP and the early nauseated feelings are good signs that the hormones are plentiful (and doing their job). I've been having some cramping but I'm told that is normal. It makes me nervous - but - I'm keeping it all together.

Because I had a chemical pregnancy last time, it's hard to forget that and just be excited. I'm a little scared in the back of my brain even though this time feels differently. As a friend told me, every day I'm still pregnant is a good day, so I'm going to keep that in mind for the next 8 or so months!

I have a doctor's appointment already scheduled - because they were following up on my cyst - so I even get an ultrasound then. I will be about 6 weeks then, so, I'm hoping we get to see a heartbeat so I can relax a little.

That's about all I'm feeling today . . . or at least all I can get out right now.

--Book Bud--

Did they call it the Three Month Wait (or, 3mw)?

The Two Week Wait (or, 2ww) is something that we've all faced on this (sometimes) difficult journey of trying to conceive. This period I refer to is, of course, the time we have to wait after ovulating to find out if this cycle was successful. Some, myself included, will start using those wonderful home pregnancy tests as soon as 8 days after ovulation. OK, so, I personally don't ever know when I ovulate, because I don't track it, so all I know is I start using the HPTs well before I should. I waste a LOT of money peeing on sticks.

Because this is all we've ever known in our generation, it got me thinking how they did things way back when - you know - before HPTs even existed. My mom began having her kids (there are 6 of us) back in the 60s. I asked her how it worked back then. I was shocked to hear that these poor, poor women had to wait to miss three periods before they could go to the doctor and confirm pregnancy. THREE! Sometimes I think I'm going to die waiting 3 or 4 weeks to get an answer. I can't even begin to imagine the agony of waiting three months.

On the other hand, one could argue that waiting so long - and not using HPTs - is a blessing in disguise. For those of us who have had the unfortunate experience of a chemical pregnancy, you might know what I mean. I won't say knowing I had nearly succeeded (I mean the sperm FERTILIZED my egg!) is something I wish I hadn't known. It was just weird to think that had I been taking this journey 40 years ago instead of now - things would have happened quite differently. My period would have just been a little late and that would have been that.

So, ladies, I leave you with these thoughts. Sometimes technology is a blessing - we get to be really impatient and pee on sticks at home as often as we want (or can afford to!). But also, it can cause us some pain and heartache because we actually get to see what we're losing. In some cases, like mine, I got to watch it fade away . . . while knowing I couldn't do anything to bring it back. I guess each of our generations have downsides.

Good luck to all my girls in the 2ww right now. I hope it goes by quickly and painlessly for all - and with at least a few babies to show for it!

Hi!!!

Hi . . . I’m Book Bud! I'm 27, Mr. Book Bud is 31. We've been married for 4 years. Mr. Book Bud is in finance and really wanted to be sure we had some financial stability before we started TTC. Although my body was telling me something different, my brain was telling me he was right.





I've had problems the past year with ovarian cysts. My doctor says that this shouldn't cause problems TTC, but, we have yet to get pregnant so I'm skeptical. I had it drained back in September, then was put on BCP to keep it at bay. I was first on Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo, then, it filled back up by the end of December. We were monitoring it with ultrasound, and, he put me on a higher hormone pill. The cyst was continuing to grow, instead of shrink, so I had to have surgery to have it removed. He did that in March without damaging my ovary (thank God!) and told me I'd be fine by May to start TTC (which was when we were thinking because we had a trip to Germany planned and wanted to wait until after that).



I took my last pack of birth control while we were on the trip. My first cycle TTC was a bit of a nightmare. I had a really long cycle and kept getting BFNs. I then had some cramping and spotting around CD 40 so decided to test again. I got a BFP! I scheduled an appt. right away because of the cramping and spotting, and the history of cysts. He got me right in that Monday and did bloodwork. Of course I didn't stop peeing on sticks and my BFP started to disappear. I freaked out Tuesday thinking I imagined it . . . then started reading peeonastick.com and was convinced it was an evaporation line. Wednesday, I woke up with AF. I spent the whole day calling the office trying to get the results of the blood work because I wanted to figure out what happened. My beta level was 8.6, so, it was a chemical pregnancy. They did repeat blood work and it went back to normal. I was definitely disappointed that this happened, but, I knew it was unlikely that I would get pregnant in the first cycle anyway. Also, because I ended up getting so confused (thank you peeonastick.com!) I had talked myself into thinking I’d imagined the BFP from the beginning – that it was a mistake all along. When I got AF and the news that it was a CP – I had an easier time moving on because I hadn’t had enough time to really get excited and feel pregnant. So, you could really say it was gone before it even started.



My cycles since then haven’t really stabilized. I'm on cycle #4 but month #5. I'm not doing charting or using OPKs. DH wants us to remain "casual" for right now. I tend to go a bit batty near the expected end of my cycle because I want to know what's going on. Our philosophies on this differ for right now. If I don't have any luck this cycle I'm going to talk to him about it again and see. I think I might want to start charting.



I also have another cyst. The doctor said this time it is "simple" - which I take to mean there was something weird about the last one I had. He told me TTC will help, so, I'm just doing what I was doing before. I have pain sometimes which sucks, but, I'm hanging in there. I have a repeat ultrasound scheduled for October 15th so we'll see what's going on at that point. My goals are to start communicating better with my doctor. I find he goes too fast and doesn't always fully inform me. I need to prepare myself before each appointment and make sure I get all my questions answered. I'm on CD 19 right now, so, my goal with that is to remain calm for the rest of my cycle, BD every other day, and hope for the best. I'm going to try not to pee on any sticks until CD 29 which is how long my shortest cycle was. I will most likely fail at this . . . I can’t resist peeing on a perfectly good stick any chance I get.

So . . . that's it. I continue to try to be patient while we wait for our time to come. Some days it’s easy and I feel great. Other days, I want to rip my hair out. Today is a good day. I will let you know how tomorrow goes . . .

Thanks for reading!!

Blighted Ovulm...

is the cause of 50% of first trimester miscarriages in which the baby either never develops or stops growing in the first trimester and then reduces to tiny pieces. A woman’s body recognizes abnormal chromosomes in a fetus and naturally does not try to continue the pregnancy because the fetus will not develop into a normal, healthy baby. This can be caused by abnormal cell division, or poor quality sperm or egg. Unfortunately, in most cases a blighted ovum cannot be prevented, however it is very rare for a women to experience a BO twice in her lifetime.

This is how the placenta and Embryo should begin to look like:

A perfect sac at 5 wks 4 days:

A sac at 6w 3days, but the embryo is developing at a slower pace:

Same embryo at 8 weeks:

and here is how a Blighted Ovum sac looks like... empty:

I would have never suspected that there was anything wrong with my pregnancy since I had all the pregnancy symptoms from increase in appetite, peeing like a race horse, dead tired by 4 in the afternoon and how can I forget the cravings for food that I never eat... cucumbers!! At times I am kind of relieved that this occurred early in the pregnancy where we never heard the heartbeat or saw the embryo, because I do not know how I would accepted the fact that my unborn baby was not developing and there is nothing that we can do to help it being further along in the pregnancy.

My heart goes out to those woman who have suffered a miscarriage in their 11th, 18th even in their 20th week. You ladies are so strong and I wish nothing but the best for you.

We are praying to start trying again next month and hoping to have a sticky baby.