Nearly 2 Years TTC & I'm Sick of Being So Sad

Sorry for the delay in writing recently, I just haven't been feeling it. Nothing to report on.....ever. Same song and dance with me feeling sorry for myself. It get's so old. I just want to be happy again. I'm tired of thinking about TTC. I would love to go to the doc and get back on my anti-dep's but if I'm TTC that's a no-no. Sigh....

My CBEFM didn't really help me out and my FF is confused as hell. I got a "Peak" reading on the CD 12 and 13. My understanding was that I was supposed to do the BD on those days and the days prior to the Peak reading. I still dint know if this is right, but according to FF I didn't OV until CD15 (and that's after dismissing 2 readings b/c i took them at 10am rather than 6am) Needless to say, it didn't work.

I've also noticed, that my body isn't waiting the full 15 days for AF to arrive (if I'm OV'ing when I think I did). It's always 12-13 day leutal phase. I have tons of the Progesterone beads my RE gave me, but I really dread those things. Has anyone ever tried the Progesterone cream they sell at CVS or Walgreens. That seems much simpler. I know that if your leutal phase doesn't last long enough it's considered a defect. Which really wouldn't surprise me......I'm jacked up in so many other ways as it is. Does anyone have this??

I am still on 1500mg's on my Glumetza (Metformin). I took 2 before bed time last night and I haven't been sick this morning. So, as long as I eat a meal tonight for dinner I will take a total of 4 today. On a better note, I feel as if this stuff is finally starting to work on my hormones. My face is clearing up wonderfully and I can I only have 1 pimple!!!! This is so effing exciting since there hasn't been a day in the past 11 months where I have had less than 10! Unfortunately, my face has been left with SO many scars. I wear a pound of makeup to cover, but knowing my skin is destroyed makes me sad. Anyone have any suggestions on treatments for this that wont add any extra oil to my face??

Anyways, today is my CD 5 so I will begin my CBEFM again 2morrow. I'm skipping the Femara this month just b/c. Please pray for me that I am given a gift this month.

-Buckeye Bud