I Don't Even Recognize Myself: AKA Monitoring Update #2.6

I'm not going to hem and haw and try to be all literary with this blog post. I'm just going to stick to the facts. And the fact is I'M A FREAKIN' ROCKSTAR!!!

Jem is truly truly truly outrageous!

My E2 yesterday was 1130. I never even got that high last time AFTER trigger. I bet I get to 2k after trigger this time. My highest E2 last cycle was between 1000 and 1100. This is CRAZY!! My lining is 17 and trilaminar. Like i've said - my lining doesn't seem to be my problem. At all.

Measurements... check out these babies!!!!

• left ovary: 23x17, 18x17, 19x16, 17x14, 25x16, 19x17, 18x15, 19x19
• right ovary: 19x17, 19x17, 20x16, 19x16, 23x14, 18x13, 19x18

Dr Z thinks we're going to get 12 mature eggs at retrieval!!! Oh, and speaking of retrieval; it's going to be Wednesday. I'm triggering tonight!

So, now I'm just waiting for the call. Sometime this afternoon, Nurse F will call me with the details for my trigger and retrieval. The trigger has to be given at an EXACT time. I was able to find someone to work for me tonight, so I can leave at 7pm and be home by 7:30pm. Hopefully, trigger will be after that, but i'll take it to work with me, just in case. One of the nurses has done IVF, and she knows that i'm cycling. I'm sure if I need her to, she can trigger me.

Is it weird that I'd rather have Mr DB do it, instead of a trained nurse?

Who cares... I can't believe it's happening!! And I can't believe my ovaries are working! It took maximum doses for 10 1/2 days... but it's working!!!

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Trigger is tonight!!

The Proverbial Square Peg - AKA Monitoring Update #2.4

We started a new medication yesterday. Ganirelix. I'm told that it's job is to prevent my oodles of follicles from releasing eggs too early. In other words, it delays ovulation. See - that's funny. Because I thought it's job was to burn and itch like a son of a bitch, but not until about 20 minutes after it's given. It first lulls you into this false sense of "Hey - this med isn't too bad". Then about 20 minutes later, you're all "son of a motherless goat... what the f is wrong with my freakin' arm?!!?!?!!?"

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As long as it does it's job, right, and keeps those suckers in there until Dr Z is ready to get them out.

So, yesterday, my nurse F did my monitoring u/s and it was great. I was an egg machine - she was finding them everywhere, and I LOVED the way they were measuring. This morning, Dr B (Dr Z's associate) did my u/s, and although I definitely LIKE Dr B, he's no Nurse F or Dr Z. And I definitely like the way Dr Z and Nurse F measure a little better. I don't know if they measure big, or if he measures small - but at least I still had about the same number of follicles today.

Here are my day 9 measurements, on day 2 of ganirelix, for anyone who's keeping count. My lining is 13mm and trilaminar.

Right ovary: 13x12, 12x11, 11x10, 16x14, 13x10, 14x12 and 3 small (less than 10)
Left ovary: 17x12, 14x10, 17x12, 12x9, 15x13, 15x13, 17x13 and a few small

The funny thing was that the 1st follicle on my left ovary looked like a square. I tried to find a good picture of one like it online, but this was the best I could do. It was sort of like the one in the middle on the right. But MUCH more sharply defined. Since it's 17x12, I guess it was more of a rectangle - but it REALLY looked like a perfect square. It was so funny.

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We're pretty sure that perfect square is half of our baby. ;) I like thinking that the funny looking ones can be our kid. We're such weirdos.

Anyway - no call from Dr Z's office this morning, which means they're not making any changes, and we have to be there again by 6:40 in the morning tomorrow. Yesterday, my E2 was 615, up from 480 the day before. Dr B says that's not bad at all. No call today means I don't get to find out today's E2 until tomorrow. Talk about pins and needles. Apparently the Ganirelix can also keep the E2 from rising and sometimes, even drop it a little bit. I hope it doesn't do that to me. I can't afford it. I just want this cycle to stay on the track it's already on. The good track. The working track. The "I have working ovaries" track.

In other news, the short term disability policy is a bust. Apparently, in the state of NJ, if you're infertile, you're all around screwed, regardless of how responsible you're trying to be. So, we're just not going to worry about it. There's nothing we can do about it. We can just hope we get pregnant, with all of the scientific and medical support we have, and do everything in our power to have a healthy perfect pregnancy that will allow me to work as long as possible.

Until then, i'll just be SO crampy. Headachey, nauseous, painful... I'm SO uncomfortable.

I'm so happy.

Monitoring update #2.2

Wait – what is this bizarre emotion I’m feeling?

Is it possible that it’s…

I never updated the blog on tuesday after my first monitoring appointment, but somewhere around 3pm, I got a call from Dr Z’s office that my estrogen level (E₂) was 143! Comparatively speaking, at the first monitoring appointment last cycle, my estrogen was 52. Um, can you say significantly improved?

But what I really want to talk about is that this morning, I left my REs office without something to be concerned about for the first time since the beginning of my last uber failed IVF cycle. My E₂ HAD to be good, bunches of measuring follicles, uterine blood gone (without any bleeding, but who cares - it probably went out my tubes) and my lining is 9mm and trilaminar.

Check me out, all responding and crap. Who’d ‘ave thunk it?

I can’t remember the last time I felt this positive.

And then to find out this feeling could get better.

At 10:30 this morning, I got the call from Dr Z’s office. My E2 this morning was 480 on day 7 of stims. Comparatively speaking… last cycle on day 7 it was 80.

YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Ganirelix is most likely going to start tomorrow (my lead follicle is 13 today - and they like to start at 14).

I'm getting fairly bloated, and I love it!

Monitoring update #2.1

So, i'm back from monitoring #1.

I have one measurable follicle on the left at 10x10mm with 6 small and on the right I have 12 small.

Size wise that's about par from where I was last cycle at this time, but i have more follicles this time.

Other monitoring news is that my lining is 5mm, but it IS trilaminar, which helps me hope that my estrogen is a little higher than it was last time at this point of my cycle, since last time I didn't get trilaminar until stims day 9.

The bad: i mentioned that I had bright red spotting last night - and when vagivision started up, Dr B (Dr Z's associate) saw blood in my uterus.

He said it's probably from the BCPs still, and that he has seen this plenty of times before... it will most likely resolve and not cause a problem. Worst case, they would take me to ER and freeze, because they wouldn't be able to transfer if I'm still bleeding.

Except - the odds of me having embryos with enough quality to make it to freeze is slim to none.

So, now i'm scared again. I'm responding to the meds - YAY ... but what the heck should I make of this freakin bleeding.

I feel like my body is doing everything it can to NOT get pregnant. All I know is I can't take much more of this.

And I'm SO tired of bleeding.