Look! Cherry Bud's chart is having a cross-hair fluke! (ETA: Oh, Maybe not....)
Thankfully, we made it through Thanksgiving with NO questions about when we would have kids and only one mention of "When you have a baby..."
We discussed our possible adoption plans with my SIL's, who are wonderful and supportive and understanding.
We ate Pumpkin Pie and Cinnamon Rolls and Turkey and Mashed Potatoes. I held and snuggled my youngest niece and got my baby fix.
I all-around avoided being depressed about my lack of baby bump.
Happy Thanksgiving, Bloomin Babies and my fellow Buds!
Showing posts with label Thanksgiving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thanksgiving. Show all posts
November 26, 2010
November 24, 2010
Full Term Update
Who'd have thunk it?
Certainly not me.
More than 2 years ago, I had no doubt I wouldn't have any trouble getting pregnant. I was however, convinced that I would have trouble STAYING pregnant. Between my mother, my aunt and my grandmother, there must have been 15-20 miscarriages between them. I was sure I would follow that line.
Then 1 year ago, I was in the midst of what would be my 1st failed IVF cycle and about to sink into a horrible depression.
Who knew that my problem would be GETTING pregnant. Not staying pregnant.
Because apparently, STAYING pregnant I can do just fine.
Which brings me to today.
Despite my AMH. Despite MFI. Despite DOR/POF. Despite MTHFR. Despite 3 fibroids. Despite all of our diagnoses and a failed IVF cycle... and in memory of our lost twin... today I am 38 weeks pregnant.
Full Term.
Holy crap.
Our appointment today was largely uneventful. My cervix remains closed, although softening. Dr Loh can feel and move the baby's head, but she says still not any lower (i'd argue that... i'm rapidly losing anything that could be considered "below my belly"). I mentioned that movement has been very minimal the last 24 hours, so I got a quickie u/s to check our fluid levels (absolutely fine). Smudge is SO big. I can't even believe how big. I remember the days when we could see the whole baby on one screen. Now you can barely see one PART on one screen. It's amazing. The arms are up by his/her face with little fists. Dr Loh says Smudge's tone is great. Knees are drawn up and yep, those are feet in my ribs... crossed at the ankles. Maybe this is a little lady after all... I guess we'll see.
We also did an impromptu non-stress test (NST) to check the heartbeat patterns. So I got to sit on the monitor listening to the most beautiful sound in the world (my baby's heartbeat) for a half hour. It was wonderful. Smudge did exactly what s/he was supposed to do... when s/he wasn't trying to run away from the probe. This kid HATES being monitored in any way. It's really funny. We've been playing chase the baby for 8 months though. Why stop now, right?
Best news of the 38 week appointment. I lost a pound! Yay - go me. So after the 36 week debacle of gaining 4 pounds in 2 weeks, then holding steady at 37 weeks, at 38 weeks I have gained 20 pounds for the pregnancy. I am very proud of myself.
So - that's all for now. I hadn't had any contractions in about 36 hours until tonight, when I had 3 in the last hour... so i'm not holding my breath, but we'll see what happens. I think it's pretty funny that since becoming pregnant, we've thought i would deliver on thanksgiving. I guess we'll see. I did pack my bag the other day. That's surely going to keep me pregnant until 42 weeks. (Unlike if I hadn't packed at all - then i probably would have delivered 2 weeks ago.)
Horray for full term. Hooray for a healthy Smudge. And most of all... hooray for the difference a year can make.
Certainly not me.
More than 2 years ago, I had no doubt I wouldn't have any trouble getting pregnant. I was however, convinced that I would have trouble STAYING pregnant. Between my mother, my aunt and my grandmother, there must have been 15-20 miscarriages between them. I was sure I would follow that line.
Then 1 year ago, I was in the midst of what would be my 1st failed IVF cycle and about to sink into a horrible depression.
Who knew that my problem would be GETTING pregnant. Not staying pregnant.
Because apparently, STAYING pregnant I can do just fine.
Which brings me to today.
Despite my AMH. Despite MFI. Despite DOR/POF. Despite MTHFR. Despite 3 fibroids. Despite all of our diagnoses and a failed IVF cycle... and in memory of our lost twin... today I am 38 weeks pregnant.
Full Term.
Holy crap.
Our appointment today was largely uneventful. My cervix remains closed, although softening. Dr Loh can feel and move the baby's head, but she says still not any lower (i'd argue that... i'm rapidly losing anything that could be considered "below my belly"). I mentioned that movement has been very minimal the last 24 hours, so I got a quickie u/s to check our fluid levels (absolutely fine). Smudge is SO big. I can't even believe how big. I remember the days when we could see the whole baby on one screen. Now you can barely see one PART on one screen. It's amazing. The arms are up by his/her face with little fists. Dr Loh says Smudge's tone is great. Knees are drawn up and yep, those are feet in my ribs... crossed at the ankles. Maybe this is a little lady after all... I guess we'll see.
We also did an impromptu non-stress test (NST) to check the heartbeat patterns. So I got to sit on the monitor listening to the most beautiful sound in the world (my baby's heartbeat) for a half hour. It was wonderful. Smudge did exactly what s/he was supposed to do... when s/he wasn't trying to run away from the probe. This kid HATES being monitored in any way. It's really funny. We've been playing chase the baby for 8 months though. Why stop now, right?
Best news of the 38 week appointment. I lost a pound! Yay - go me. So after the 36 week debacle of gaining 4 pounds in 2 weeks, then holding steady at 37 weeks, at 38 weeks I have gained 20 pounds for the pregnancy. I am very proud of myself.
So - that's all for now. I hadn't had any contractions in about 36 hours until tonight, when I had 3 in the last hour... so i'm not holding my breath, but we'll see what happens. I think it's pretty funny that since becoming pregnant, we've thought i would deliver on thanksgiving. I guess we'll see. I did pack my bag the other day. That's surely going to keep me pregnant until 42 weeks. (Unlike if I hadn't packed at all - then i probably would have delivered 2 weeks ago.)
Horray for full term. Hooray for a healthy Smudge. And most of all... hooray for the difference a year can make.
November 18, 2010
S/O SSDD
I want to start by sending my thoughts and prayers to all our buds who have recently lost their little ones. I can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling. I hope you all get your sticky baby soon.
As I was walking around the mall the other day, I was thinking about my next post. Something my mother had said to me the night before was ringing in my ear. "Remember years ago," she started, "when you desperately wanted to find the guy you were supposed to marry. This process isn't much different than that. You found a fantastic guy and time for a baby will come." Not totally comforting at the time as I had spent the night before with my college friends and the conversation revolved around my friend's pregnancy, shower, etc. However a few days later, I can accept it a little better. Maybe this is an SSDD process, same sh!t, different decade. Haven't I experienced all this before. The pain at hearing about a friend's (no matter how distant) engagement. Have to keep it together through my cousin's wedding, when I was as single as I was all through high school. See women with engagements rings everywhere. Every commercial on TV was for David's Bridal or an upcoming show about yet another couple getting married. Holding hope that every guy I dated (and there were plenty in college) was the one and we would live happily ever after. I was even engaged at one time. At the time the ending of that relationship was devastating, but looking back, it was the exact right thing to do. Will I think the same thing about this crazy TTC journey? Is my life really just repeating itself?
It is beginning to get bad. When I was on said shopping trip, I noticed that mall was decorated for Christmas. I remember last year around this time thinking "I will have my baby by next year or at least be very pregnant." It's crazy (and a little painful) to think we are no closer to that goal. I have only become a little more neurotic and depressed. It seems like anything will set me off. Santa waved to me in the mall and I had to duck in the nearest store to try to keep the tears from falling. I see adds for performances of the Nutcracker and my eyes water. This was my favorite thing about the holidays as a child and I can't wait to share it. When did the season that was my absolute favorite time of the year turn into the time of year I am seriously dreading?
I am desperately trying to hold onto the old adage of "It will happen, when it is meant to", but I am not the most patient person. Unlike the journey of trying to find the "one", if I don't succeed one night, I can't go out and try the next. I have wait an entire month to try again. At least our results appointment in about two weeks (November 29th). As scared as I am to know that something is wrong, I am even more scared that everything is going to come back and say there is nothing wrong, just unexplained infertility. I don't know if Mr. PB and I are ready to jump into medical interventions, but I also don't know if I could really continue just trying.
Ladies, I wish you a happy and fulfilling Thanksgiving. I am lucky to have a large and healthy family, which includes all four of my grandparents and four little 2nd cousins. I just need to focus on them until I am blessed with my own. Next time I post, I will have results for you.
As I was walking around the mall the other day, I was thinking about my next post. Something my mother had said to me the night before was ringing in my ear. "Remember years ago," she started, "when you desperately wanted to find the guy you were supposed to marry. This process isn't much different than that. You found a fantastic guy and time for a baby will come." Not totally comforting at the time as I had spent the night before with my college friends and the conversation revolved around my friend's pregnancy, shower, etc. However a few days later, I can accept it a little better. Maybe this is an SSDD process, same sh!t, different decade. Haven't I experienced all this before. The pain at hearing about a friend's (no matter how distant) engagement. Have to keep it together through my cousin's wedding, when I was as single as I was all through high school. See women with engagements rings everywhere. Every commercial on TV was for David's Bridal or an upcoming show about yet another couple getting married. Holding hope that every guy I dated (and there were plenty in college) was the one and we would live happily ever after. I was even engaged at one time. At the time the ending of that relationship was devastating, but looking back, it was the exact right thing to do. Will I think the same thing about this crazy TTC journey? Is my life really just repeating itself?
It is beginning to get bad. When I was on said shopping trip, I noticed that mall was decorated for Christmas. I remember last year around this time thinking "I will have my baby by next year or at least be very pregnant." It's crazy (and a little painful) to think we are no closer to that goal. I have only become a little more neurotic and depressed. It seems like anything will set me off. Santa waved to me in the mall and I had to duck in the nearest store to try to keep the tears from falling. I see adds for performances of the Nutcracker and my eyes water. This was my favorite thing about the holidays as a child and I can't wait to share it. When did the season that was my absolute favorite time of the year turn into the time of year I am seriously dreading?
I am desperately trying to hold onto the old adage of "It will happen, when it is meant to", but I am not the most patient person. Unlike the journey of trying to find the "one", if I don't succeed one night, I can't go out and try the next. I have wait an entire month to try again. At least our results appointment in about two weeks (November 29th). As scared as I am to know that something is wrong, I am even more scared that everything is going to come back and say there is nothing wrong, just unexplained infertility. I don't know if Mr. PB and I are ready to jump into medical interventions, but I also don't know if I could really continue just trying.
Ladies, I wish you a happy and fulfilling Thanksgiving. I am lucky to have a large and healthy family, which includes all four of my grandparents and four little 2nd cousins. I just need to focus on them until I am blessed with my own. Next time I post, I will have results for you.
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