Back From Vacation

Rare moment of peace

The boys loving the airport tram

We have been in Seattle all week visiting family. We got home WAY too late last night. Both of the boys caught a stomach bug early on in the week and I was very busy with sick babies while on vacation. It was still great to be back in my home town and to see my sisters though. My older sister just had a baby a month ago. She is so tiny. Holding her, I got excited all over to be holding a tiny baby again.

Baby Ruby

My transfer is still scheduled for Monday, but I am waiting for my lab results from my bloodwork and ultrasound this morning that will determine if we are still on. I am not too hopeful because at my last ultrasound I was not where they were hoping I would be. Hopefully I will know in the next few hours or so.

Update:
I waited ALL day to hear back from my nurse and she finally returned my call at 4:55 to tell me that we are still on for our transfer on the 19th! I am so excited! I really wasn't expecting to be able to go. The boys are going to stay at my sister-in-laws house while we make the drive to Knoxville, TN (from Maryland). We brought Little Lucky Bud when we made the trip in December, but he gets car sick so it was a very difficult trip. He will hopefully be a lot happier playing with his cousins. We will leave on Sunday morning and arrive in the evening. My transfer is Monday, and we will stay the night and leave Tuesday. I am so grateful to get to be going to go so soon even though it looked like their might have been some set backs!

1st Monitoring Ultrasound

I have been taking Lupron for 11 days now. I had my first monitoring ultrasound yesterday. My lining was at 9 and my estrogen was high, and I had a large follicle, all of which is bad news.

 I got the news today though that they are not going to call off my cycle yet. They are doubling my dose of Lupron and I am scheduled for a second ultrasound on the 15th. I will find out then if I am still on for my September 19th transfer. It looks as though my body is still trying to ovulate. If I do the transfer will be off. It is probably due to a mix up, I never went on birth control. I am hopeful that it will all work out and that I will still get to go in September. If not, I will go in November.

I am getting used to taking the shots, although my husband gives them to me. I still haven't gotten up the courage to do it myself. We are heading to our hometown of Seattle next Wednesday, and my sister does not have internet, so my next update will be after my ultrasound on September 15th.

Confession Time.....

I have a confession to make......

I am taking Clomid unmonitored.

::gasp::

I have debated outing myself publicly because I know people feel very strongly against unmonitored Clomid. But I figured what the hell, I'll come clean and document my experience.

I have been taking Clomid unmonitored since April but I had to take a break for the month of May (since I was out of town and away from H during potential O). I am getting ready to start another round of Clomid in the next few days since I am currently on CD 2. While I feel that this is a decision that shouldn't be made lightly, me, my H and my OB have had many in depth discussions (as well as hours of research on the internet) regarding Clomid and it's side effects. I feel comfortable with my decision to forgo the ultrasounds. The risk of OHSS is relatively low on Clomid alone and I just don't think that paying out of pocket for the ultrasounds is worth the added expense. I am sure some of you are rolling your eyes right now. And maybe I will regret my decision because stats don't much matter if you're the one with the negative side effect.

I was put on the lowest dose of Clomid and thankfully I had minimal side effects during my first round. Unfortunately I didn't get pregnant. The only noticeable side effect was painful ovulation, but it was nothing a little Tylenol couldn't cure.

So that's my big confession :) Nothing too major but it is somewhat of a controversial subject.

PB&J Bud :)

IUI#5 update

Unfortunately, IUI #4 ended in a BFN. At first I had high hopes for it, since it was my first injectables cycle. However, my high hopes were dashed by having only one follicle and my gut feeling that the timing of the IUI was a little too late (we BDed the morning before just in case). Of course, hope is a wicked thing, and towards the end of my cycle, I started feeling positive again since I was feeling similar to the way I felt at the end of my 2nd IUI cycle when I got a BFP.

When I went to get the dosages for my meds for IUI #5, I was caught off-guard when the doctor decided he wanted me to have a hysteroscopy right then and there to see if my myoma (which they had been following via ultrasound for quite a few months) had invaded through the uterine wall into the uterine cavity. Unfortunately, this was the case, but the good news is that right now it is still only minimally invasive, and while I was told that I may need surgery to remove it in the next year, I was given the go ahead to continue cycling for now. If this cycle doesn't work, we'll do 1 more IUI (6 total) before moving on to IVF.

Today (CD10) I had a monitoring appointment. I'm not sure why, but I am feeling pretty good about this cycle! I have a few small follies on the right and 2 good-sized ones on the left (at 15 and 16 mm). Lining is 8mm. I am continuing with Puregon today and tomorrow night, triggering Saturday morning, and doing IUI on Sunday. I didn't get to see my E2 and progesterone levels. My extremely bruised tummy will be happy for Sunday!

Triggering tonight!

I can't believe it's time already.

Today was my final monitoring appointment. The RE said everything looks great and I will be triggering tonight! That puts the egg retrieval on Wednesday morning. The nurse should be calling this afternoon with the exact time that I take the trigger shot.

Stims were not too bad at all. I had a headache one day, and I am extremely bloated. I did end up with a skin infection that I am guessing was from all the hormone changes, but that is almost cleared up and isn't causing me any discomfort anymore.

I tried to keep track of how many follicles there were this morning, but honestly there were so many I lost track! My lining was at 11.1 and the RE said that was a great number. I am glad that there have been very few issues during my cycle. I guess we are lucky that MFI was the only thing that was keeping us from getting pregnant.

I will update after the retrieval. Hopefully I have lots of eggs!

Another monitoring update...

Day 2 of monitoring didn't start out very well. Started out with a post coital test which was horrible. My CM was so thick that the sperm were stuck in it and not moving. This was not what my RE expected to see with an estrogen level of 168. I did have a very nice "I told you so" moment because I've been telling him over and over again that I have CM issues. Now he believes me. I love being right. I gloated for a good part of the morning over that.

Ultrasound showed that some of my follicles shrank and others didn't grow at all. I'm currently at: 15, 14, 13, 11, 10.

I was told that I was in pretty big danger of having my cycle canceled to poor response. *cry* I was in pretty poor spirits as I left the office and prayed for most of the day that my estrogen levels cooperated and would keep me in the game.

Thankfully, they didn't fail me. My estrogen rose to 240. Yay!

So they upped my Follistim dosage to 150 tonight. Triple my original dose! Yikes! Mr. Sunflower Bud is getting very good at giving me shots. While I was so proud of myself for doing 2 whole shots myself, I chickened out after that. He's gotten a more steady hand and it didn't even hurt at all tonight. And I had to have 2 shots instead of just 1, since I had to switch to a new cartridge.



I go back in again in the morning for another monitoring appointment and another post coital on Thursday morning. That post coital will determine if we will need to do IUI.

So more prayers tonight that my follicles kick into gear already and my estrogen rises a ton! I'm on day 7 of stims now.

Definitely responding!

I had my first monitoring appointment today. 5 nights of Follistim so far. I have 5 follicles. 16, 15, 13, 12, 10. The nurse said there is a risk of being canceled (they cancel with over 3 good size ones). I'm to do one more night of Follistim and go back tomorrow to see how they look. Hoping only the larger ones grow large and the smaller ones stay under 16. Still waiting on my blood test results.

My lining was at a 5, which she said was still pretty thin. They like to see at least 7 for triggering.

Since there is also a significant absence of cervical mucous, they may be doing a post coital test tomorrow as well.

I must be dreaming!

Um, we get to cycle this month!

Went in for my baseline this morning and had myself fully prepared to find some kind of cyst or tumor or something that would cancel the cycle again. I didn't even bother paying attention to this ultrasound this time.

When they didn't draw blood, I knew it was a bust and they found something bad. So I waited for the nurse to tell me they were calling in a script for birth control pills or scheduling surgery.

Because, you know... I'm so incredibly optimistic.

Color me shocked when the nurse sat down with the schedule for when to start the stims and what days, times, etc and what day to come back for my next monitoring appointment.

I burst into tears. hahahahahhaa. She was so surprised that she didn't even know what to say. I blubbered and apologized and said that I was SO prepared for the cycle to be canceled that I was overwhelmed with emotion to find out we were actually going to be able to start!!!

I start with 50 IU of Follistim tomorrow and every day until I go in Monday for my monitoring appointment.

SO NERVOUS!!!!

And, of course, I'm not expecting it to work.

Slow and steady wins the race?

Just a quick update to say I had another monitoring appointment today at CD 21 and I do have a 14 mm follicle in my left ovary, so I am inching towards some progress here! My next monitoring appointment is on Tuesday. I hope hope hope I will have made more progress by then and the IUI will be a go!

As the IUI keeps getting more delayed I have been becoming a bit of a basketcase. Today when I was waiting for my u/s, a husband and wife (also American) came into the clinic with their twin babies to show them off to the staff. It was her first visit back to to the clinic since she got pregnant apparently, and she started crying. I started to get a little weepy, too, and my feelings were so complicated in that moment. I was crying because I was happy for her, and perhaps projecting a little by sharing in the emotions of her moment, but I was also crying because I was wondering whether I would some day have the opportunity to go back to that clinic with my baby(ies) and Mr. Blueberry Bud.

When we first started TTC, getting pregnant and having a baby seemed so concrete, like this was something that was really going to happen to us and it was such an exhilarating and exciting feeling! As time passes, the idea of having a take-home baby, like the kind you can push into the fertility clinic in a stroller, seems more and more abstract. Some day soon, I hope.

On the joys of socialized medicine

Unfortunately, this cycle isn't exactly panning out to be all we had hoped. When I left off last time, I had a monitoring ultrasound on CD 11 which showed no dominant follicle. On CD 15 I had my next monitoring ultrasound and this time I had a follicle on my right ovary, which measured 9mm. At my next ultrasound on CD 17 it was a measly 10mm and the ultrasound technician told me I have uterine fibroids. I usually O between CD 15-17 so I'd say things aren't looking too promising for this cycle. We thought for sure we would be ready for the IUI last week.

I am feeling frustrated and confused about my lack of follicle growth. I believe that I have ovulated on all of my previous charted cycles based on my temp shift but something strange seems to be going on with my follicle growth. Last cycle I ovulated on CD 17, but my follicle stopped growing around CD 12 and never seemed to reach over 17mm. This cycle I don't know what to think about my lack of follicle growth.

Meanwhile, the doctor I am seeing this cycle is a complete moron. I've asked him several times whether I should be concerned about my strange follicle growth patterns (normal follicle growth is ~2mm/day). His answer to everything is that I am doing great, my follicles will grow 2mm/day starting now (even though 'now' has obviously changed as time has passed), and I should be ready for our IUI on Sunday (before it Wednesday, as in this past Wednesday). He also didn't know what a uterine fibroid is, or rather he didn't understand the word in English, so he couldn't answer my question as to whether I should be concerned about it. Remember that ob/gyn in the movie Nine Months who had just immigrated from Eastern Europe and said he was previously a large animal vet? Well I am pretty sure that him and my doctor are the same person.

So you might be asking yourself how a real-life person such as myself could possibly be subjected to the same level of medical care as a fictional character in a Robin Williams comedy. In Israel, we have socialized medicine. I am actually hugely in favor of socialized medicine and I think the U.S. would be better off with a system like it, but it definitely has its major faults. As I wrote about in my last post, fertility treatment is covered under the national healthcare program (including IVF for up to two live births), which is really wonderful. However, you have little control over who your doctor is in the public system. At the fertility clinic at the hospital where I go, I have been seeing whichever resident is doing a rotation in the fertility service. This isn't inherently a terrible thing, other than lack of continuity in care since the person changes every few months. However, there is also great variability between residents. The one I dealt with a couple months ago was great, this one is horrible.

I have pretty much given up hope on this cycle. Of course we will make the best of it and continue to BD away. On August 22 we have a consultation with Prof. L, a senior RE who is supposed to be really terrific. We will likely be seeing him as a private patient from then on out. I think we are both really looking forward to speaking with someone who has the experience and knowledge to answer all of our questions and consider the data carefully. I think it will be a good solution for us -- we can see him privately for consultations and procedures, but any tests and drugs will still be covered by the socialized system. Unfortunately, as is often the case with socialized medicine, if you want to choose your doctor and you want a little hand-holding, you have to suck it up and pay a lot for it. Here's to a happy and sunny weekend!

IVF #2: 2 Week Wait Update

Who wants good news?

It's too early for a pregnancy test - so relax you crazies....

I'm 4dp3dt (7dpo) and I did have ONE blood test today. My progesterone level. The embryologist (Dr. S) who "made" my embryos was doing the blood draws today, so I took the opportunity to discuss their fabulosity (or at least 2 out of 3 of them).

She was VERY happy with our embryos. She even took it another step to explain the "compacting" 8 cell to me, and confirm that it did mean that my little embryo was indeed at least 1/2 day ahead in growth and that it was a good sign for continued growth upon transfer.

But for now, let's rewind for a minute to the abysmal cycle #1, shall we?

This time 3 months ago, I was miserable. My progesterone level was 26 and change, and that wasn't high enough for Dr Z, even though I had heard that for a medicated cycle, 25 was acceptable. So, I was started on vag chalk: Endometrin suppositories 3 times a day, in addition to my daily PIO (Progesterone in Oil) injection.

I wasn't pregnant - so it didn't matter.

Today, I got home from my blood draw with a question.

So I went to my infertility gurus (the girls who have gone before me) and asked the question:

How significant is the P4 right now? Last cycle it was 26.something at this time, and I wound up on endometrin 3x day in addition to the PIO. But I also wasn't pregnant.
If my P4 isn't up to par, does it mean i'm not pregnant? Or can you have a lowish P4 at this point and still wind up pregnant?

I got a really good answer from one of the girls, and I hope she doesn't mind me quoting her here, because I am sure that some of the girls who follow me might have the same questions.

"My RE likes to see P4 above 40 for an IVF cycle. He likes it higher that IUI cycles since the entire IVF process is so unnatural (I hate that word but don't know what else to use). His practice believes that since eggs are not rupturing out of follicles on their own, the chance of your corpus luteum (sp?) producing enough progesterone to signal your body to prepare for pregnancy is slim.

Thus P4 being monitored and supplements being increased if you are not where they like to see you. With that said, my RE told me (b/c he knows I worry about every.little.thing) that he has seem many, many IVF cycles with less than stellar progesterone go on to produce perfectly healthy pregnancies." - LCB34
quote credit

Well, that said, Dr Z wanted to see me above 30 last cycle, which explains the supplements he then put me on.

I guess the good news I'm alluding to is that right now, there's no vag chalk for me. My progesterone is 44.3!!

That's right - i said 44.3!!

So, the plan for now is just do what i've been doing, and return to the office one week from today for my beta.

As far as symptoms... there are some things i'm desperately trying to not over analyze. Things outside of the 2ww norm for me. One friend tells me that "new" or "different" is good. I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed.

If I get good news again next week, then i'll tell all - but for right now, and the slim possibility I have of NOT sounding crazy, i'm going to keep the symptoms to myself.

All I can do now is continue hoping that the good news keeps coming. I'm VERY hopeful and positive right now. I'm just so scared that I shouldn't feel that way - because last time is still VERY raw in my head. Does that make any sense?

Exceeding Expectations: AKA Monitoring Update #2.5

The first thing that came out of my mouth when I saw the 22mm follicle:

"Holy Sh*t".

Dr B didn't really hear me - but later he asked me what I said and I told him. He laughed.

I like Dr B.

In other news, I'm still an egg machine. Follicle sizes for this morning are as follows:
right ovary: 17x14, 16x11, 16x14, 18x14, 18x16, 16x15 and 4 small
left ovary: 17x16, 19x16, 16x11, 18x16, 22x14, 18x10, 18x17 and a couple small

Dr B also said my lining looks great at 16tri. It's good that I have ONE thing going for me... my lining doesn't seem to be my problem at all.

My E2 yesterday was 899. I was hoping for something near 1000, so 899 is pretty darn close. And Dr B said that at this point, they're actually shooting for 800, so i'm exceeding their expectations now.

I like exceeding expectations.

So, it looks like I'll trigger tomorrow and be set for ER wednesday.

March came in like a lion - let's see if it can go out with a baby....

The Proverbial Square Peg - AKA Monitoring Update #2.4

We started a new medication yesterday. Ganirelix. I'm told that it's job is to prevent my oodles of follicles from releasing eggs too early. In other words, it delays ovulation. See - that's funny. Because I thought it's job was to burn and itch like a son of a bitch, but not until about 20 minutes after it's given. It first lulls you into this false sense of "Hey - this med isn't too bad". Then about 20 minutes later, you're all "son of a motherless goat... what the f is wrong with my freakin' arm?!!?!?!!?"

photo credit

As long as it does it's job, right, and keeps those suckers in there until Dr Z is ready to get them out.

So, yesterday, my nurse F did my monitoring u/s and it was great. I was an egg machine - she was finding them everywhere, and I LOVED the way they were measuring. This morning, Dr B (Dr Z's associate) did my u/s, and although I definitely LIKE Dr B, he's no Nurse F or Dr Z. And I definitely like the way Dr Z and Nurse F measure a little better. I don't know if they measure big, or if he measures small - but at least I still had about the same number of follicles today.

Here are my day 9 measurements, on day 2 of ganirelix, for anyone who's keeping count. My lining is 13mm and trilaminar.

Right ovary: 13x12, 12x11, 11x10, 16x14, 13x10, 14x12 and 3 small (less than 10)
Left ovary: 17x12, 14x10, 17x12, 12x9, 15x13, 15x13, 17x13 and a few small

The funny thing was that the 1st follicle on my left ovary looked like a square. I tried to find a good picture of one like it online, but this was the best I could do. It was sort of like the one in the middle on the right. But MUCH more sharply defined. Since it's 17x12, I guess it was more of a rectangle - but it REALLY looked like a perfect square. It was so funny.

photo credit

We're pretty sure that perfect square is half of our baby. ;) I like thinking that the funny looking ones can be our kid. We're such weirdos.

Anyway - no call from Dr Z's office this morning, which means they're not making any changes, and we have to be there again by 6:40 in the morning tomorrow. Yesterday, my E2 was 615, up from 480 the day before. Dr B says that's not bad at all. No call today means I don't get to find out today's E2 until tomorrow. Talk about pins and needles. Apparently the Ganirelix can also keep the E2 from rising and sometimes, even drop it a little bit. I hope it doesn't do that to me. I can't afford it. I just want this cycle to stay on the track it's already on. The good track. The working track. The "I have working ovaries" track.

In other news, the short term disability policy is a bust. Apparently, in the state of NJ, if you're infertile, you're all around screwed, regardless of how responsible you're trying to be. So, we're just not going to worry about it. There's nothing we can do about it. We can just hope we get pregnant, with all of the scientific and medical support we have, and do everything in our power to have a healthy perfect pregnancy that will allow me to work as long as possible.

Until then, i'll just be SO crampy. Headachey, nauseous, painful... I'm SO uncomfortable.

I'm so happy.

Monitoring update #2.2

Wait – what is this bizarre emotion I’m feeling?

Is it possible that it’s…

I never updated the blog on tuesday after my first monitoring appointment, but somewhere around 3pm, I got a call from Dr Z’s office that my estrogen level (E₂) was 143! Comparatively speaking, at the first monitoring appointment last cycle, my estrogen was 52. Um, can you say significantly improved?

But what I really want to talk about is that this morning, I left my REs office without something to be concerned about for the first time since the beginning of my last uber failed IVF cycle. My E₂ HAD to be good, bunches of measuring follicles, uterine blood gone (without any bleeding, but who cares - it probably went out my tubes) and my lining is 9mm and trilaminar.

Check me out, all responding and crap. Who’d ‘ave thunk it?

I can’t remember the last time I felt this positive.

And then to find out this feeling could get better.

At 10:30 this morning, I got the call from Dr Z’s office. My E2 this morning was 480 on day 7 of stims. Comparatively speaking… last cycle on day 7 it was 80.

YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Ganirelix is most likely going to start tomorrow (my lead follicle is 13 today - and they like to start at 14).

I'm getting fairly bloated, and I love it!

Day 3.5 of stims and all is... well....

So, today is day 3.5 of stims (i started friday night, and except for that night when I took the whole dose at once, starting saturday morning i've done gonal 2x a day). I can't believe how quickly I felt side effects this time. GI symptoms, headaches by the end of day 1... and i can definitely feel activity in my ovaries since day 2. I didn't feel this for a few more days last time... but here I am, day 3.5 and already feeling a little bloated and crampy in my ovaries.

Tomorrow morning is my first monitoring appointment and i'm nervous. I'm scared i'm going to see that same look of disappointment on Dr Z's face when I go in for my ultrasound.... that look that says "something is wrong here". That the phone call I get with my blood work results will have the same panic, with an E2 level in the toilet.

I KNOW that's not going to happen. Feeling all of these symptoms this soon tells me that. But the little tiny irrational part of me that I can't beat back still whispers in the back of my head....

I scheduled an extra acu session for this week... i'll do some extra meditation... i'm wearing penguin socks... i have more lucky charms ON me than in a cereal box:

• The beautiful fertility charm from Taiwan, sent to me by Jenny
  
• The rose quartz shaped like a heart from Lani
• The St Gerard medal, given to me by a concerned coworker

I know it sounds really silly... It's not a beta. It's not my retrieval.. it's not even my transfer. It's just my first monitoring appointment of the cycle.

Can you guys just send me some positive thoughts for the morning?

Triggering TONIGHT!!!

OMG, I can hardly believe I'm typing this right now, but I am triggering TONIGHT for my Egg Retrieval (ER) on Saturday! Eeeek! I'm a little nervous about how large the needle is, but I'm sure it'll be fine...just like all the other injections. I am hoping my sister (who is a nurse) can come over & do this injection - Mr. Worry Bud is a little nervous about doing it & this one must be done exactly right!

Photo Credit

Backing up a bit...this morning I went in for my fourth monitoring appt. & u/s this AM. During the scan, Dr. G said, "everything looks great & you may be triggering tonight for a retrieval on Saturday." I was like, "really"?! And he said he'd have to confirm by looking at my b/w, but to go ahead & sit down with a nurse to get trigger instructions & make an appt. for tomorrow morning just in case I needed to come in tomorrow. Well, I got my instructions & made my appt. & the front desk lady said, "okay, see you tomorrow." And I said, "actually, hopefully you won't see me tomorrow :o)" & she laughed. The rest of the afternoon, I have been waiting on a call from my nurse letting me know if I am ready to trigger...she called about an hour ago & said, "I have good news, you don't have to come in tomorrow for any more monitoring b/c you're triggering tonight!" I was so excited, I forgot to ask my Estrogen/E2 levels, but here are my follie measurements from today's scan (my office only measures the largest 4 on each side):

Left: 18.5, 16.6, 16.1, 13.9 & several smaller ones
Right: 17.9, 17.1, 15.6, 15.3 & several smaller ones

I am still waiting on a call from my center's surgery scheduler for the exact time to trigger, but it's definitely tonight with my ER on Saturday. I have really been so fortunate this whole process --> the whole week of all my daily monitoring - out of work; ER on a Saturday with plenty of days to recover because Monday is a federal holiday! I think the Lord has truly been overseeing this whole process & I'm so excited about the fact that in a couple of weeks, we could get the best news of our young, married lives!! Please continue praying for us & sending any positive vibes you have our way - I know they make a big difference!

A snowy follie check #4!

I apologize for not getting on here to update yesterday, but I have been monitoring every day this week, so I've been running back & forth a lot!

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First off - this snow has been a gift & a curse this week. Due to how quickly/well my body is responding to the stims, I have had to go in for monitoring every day this week! Thankfully, I have been off due to the snow all week.

Anywho, we (Mr. Worry Bud wouldn't let me drive in alone) drove in to my fertility center's main office this AM during blizzard #2 in my area in less than a week! The roads were pretty horrible w/low visibility, but I really wanted to make it in b/c of my estrogen levels & the amt. of follies I have growing as of last count (approx. 25). Here are the measurements/#s from today's monitoring appt:

Estrogen: 1,619 (up 100 from 1,519 yesterday)

Follies (this office measures the largest 6 on each side):

Left Ovary: 12.3, 16.2, 13.5, 14.3, 14.8, 10.9

Right Ovary: 14.5, 13.1, 15.5, 15.6, 13.8, 12.6

The RE who did my scan this morning said that my RE (Dr. G) is doing an excellent job pacing me b/c I have the potential to "go off to the races" (her words). So thank goodness for my RE's great care - I love him! He is so hands on; prior to starting my cycle, I was a little nervous b/c I go to the largest fertility center in the US (at least that's what their literature says) & I had read a few reviews about my clinic being a factory, but based on my personal experience, that really doesn't seem accurate to me. They have taken excellent care of me so far...Dr. G has either performed or been standing in on almost every single u/s I have had. He could have easily just let the u/s tech do them & give him the reports, but he always stands in & answers any questions I have. I also love my nurse Jane, she is so sweet, awesome & always takes the time to answer all of my 15,908,734 questions!

I'm very happy that my Estrogen only went up by 100 b/c it was climbing pretty fast there for a while. A fellow IVF'er who goes to the same clinic as me said that our clinic usually won't trigger at Estrogen levels above 4,000, but prefer that it not be above 3,000, so I'm looking good so far...whew! The RE who did my scan this AM said they like to see at least 3 follies above 18mm to trigger & it looks like I will be there by Friday since follies tend to grow 1-2mm per day during stims & I have at least 2 more nights of stims (possibly more).

I go back in tomorrow morning for more monitoring - hopefully, I'll be able to go into my regular office. So far, looking good to trigger on Friday!! As always, thanks for all the T&P - it is all very very appreciated!

Follie check #2

I went in this morning for my second follie check. Unfortunately, my RE was not in the office this morning, so the other RE from my office stood in during my u/s and one of the nurses physically did the u/s. I have had them before for some other u/s, but I like it better when my RE does it because he shows me what's going on & what he's seeing during the u/s. This RE & nurse just kinda talk to each other, but don't really tell me what they are seeing. The nurse & RE doing my /us spoke in general terms saying that my lining looked great & that I had lots of follies on each ovary...they said everything looked excellent!! I mentioned that Dr. G (my RE) said they'd measuring follies today, and the RE said that they were measuring them. She said there were several that were about 13-14mm (they were the largest) & there were lots more that were less than 11mm & some even smaller than that. The RE told me to make an appointment for Wednesday morning, but to wait on the call later today for directions.

My nurse called about an hour ago & said to stay on the same meds dosage, and to actually come in tomorrow instead of Wednesday due to more crazy snow expected in our area. My estrogen level this morning was 909 - up from 209 on Friday, which is good since my nurse said Estrogen is supposed to increase during your cycle. If all goes well, hopefully I will be triggering later this week & doing the ER this weekend sometime! Thanks for all the thoughts & prayers...I know they are working, so please keep 'em coming!!

PS - BIG GL and T&P to Blessed Bud, who's going in for her ER today!! I hope they gets lots of eggs & you have an excellent fertilization rate! Best wishes!

Having GREAT friends helps + follie check #1!

I had my first follie monitoring appointment this morning, but before I talk about that, can I just AW my dear dear Bud friends for a minute?! Chef Bud & Obsessive Bud. They are literally so.freakin.awesome. And let me tell you why....

First, Chef Bud - she is such a wonderful, sweet person. We met online on one of our favorite TTC message boards back in late June when Mr. Worry Bud & I started TTC. We have been there to root each other on through failed cycle, after failed cycle, but have both tried to remain positive & hopeful! Since we both started seeing RE's for our TTC issues around the same time, we kept in touch via email to support each other. I checked our mail this morning (forgot to last night...had to run to the grocery store to get some essentials before the crazy winter storm expected to hit our area in a few hours) & look what I got:

Lucky penguin Valentines socks, a very sweet card & a rose quartz heart shaped stone. The note with the rose quartz says "RQ represents love & fertility. It is said to help promote pregnancy & to protect the mother & unborn fetus from miscarriage."

Well, I sent a personal note to CB, but I just want to say publicly that you have no clue how much this gesture means to me. It brought tears to my eyes that someone I have never met IRL cares that much about me to put together something so special & send it to me. It makes me feel so good to know that I have such wonderful people out there thinking of me. My rose quartz heart & penguin socks will definitely be accompanying me to my monitoring & other appts. & procedures! Thank you again & again & again Chef Bud - you are truly a wonderful person, friend & are going to make a wonderful mother. I love you girl!

And then, there's Obessive Bud. She is an awesome friend & shortly after she joined the blog, we became close friends that talk pretty much everyday via text, phone or G-Chat. She has been so positive & has been a wonderful support system for me - cheering me on as I go! I just want to say thank you to you as well OB for always being there & for calming me down when I start freaking & WORRYing about everything I have going on. I love you too & you are an awesome friend. I can't wait to "meet" that precious LO you have growing big & strong inside you. I know that you will be an awesome momma!

And while I'm at it...to all the other Buds, followers, friends that have been thinking of us during our IVF cycle & have commented on my posts, leaving us well wishes & hope & prayers & love...I also want to say, again, to each of you: THANK YOU! It truly warms my heart to know how many other women out there care about my story & are thinking of me. Mr. WB & I want to express how much it means to us, but I honestly don't think I can put how much your support means into words. It has helped me to remain positive, upbeat & hopeful about this cycle! I consider each of you my virtual friends & just want you to know that I think about & pray for each you every day & night as well!

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Okay, sorry for the long prelude to this post, but I felt like I needed to express how much everyone's support has meant & continues to mean to me everyday! So, IDK how many of you live on the east coast, but we are expecting a huge winter storm today - many meteorologists are predicting that this could be one of the worst we have had in nearly 10 years! I mean the one in December dropped almost 2 feet of snow & this is supposed to be worse...eeek! Both that December storm & this one are predicted to be in the top 10 worse winter storms for this area! This photo shows the snow on my back deck form December - it was a lot!

Anyways, I say all this to describe my RE office visit this morning. I went in for my first follie monitoring appointment this morning & it was PACKED at my RE's office. I found out that they moved all of their Saturday monitoring appointments to this morning to avoid the craziness that is sure to take over my area in just a few short hours. Despite the office being a bit more packed than usual, I still got in & out in about 30 min. I got my blood drawn (only 1 vial again!), then emptied my bladder & walked back to the ultrasound waiting area. Once I was called in, my RE checked out my lining & ovaries with the "vag cam". He said my lining was getting thicker, just like it should & then he checked out both ovaries after 3 days of stimming with Gonal-F & Menopur. On my left ovary, he said he observed "12 less than 10mm" & on the right I have "10 less than 10mm". He said I appear to be right on track & that after they get my blood results back, then my nurse will give me call with directions on either adjusting or keeping my meds dosages the same. I asked if it started getting bad outside would they possibly not call with directions & they said they'd make every single call before leaving for the night! I love my RE's office staff - everyone is so nice from the financial coordinator - to the girl who draws blood - to all the nurses - and especially my RE. He's a great man & I have have such respect for him & confidence in him that he is doing anything he can to help us get pregnant. It definitely helps me stay positive when I feel so confident in the staff working with us!

While waiting to be called in for my u/s, I got a chance to chat with several other women cycling right now, one was doing an IUI, a couple doing frozen cycles, and one other doing fresh. It always makes me feel better to talk with someone else in a similar situation, or who has gone through the same thing I am going through now. We talked about how everything was going so far. I asked them if any of them were using Menopur & a couple had - we talked about how much that shot stings! It's hard to describe, but the best thing I can think of is that it feels kind of like fire being shot inside of you. Nothing I can't handle, but it definitely doesn't feel that great! So far, that has been the most difficult shot for me. Despite that, I am still remaining positive & hopeful and feeling pretty good so far! I do feel a bit uncomfortable in my ovaries b/c they are getting bigger with all the follies, but that was something I expected to feel, so again, nothing I can't handle! So, that's my update - sorry for such a LONG post, but I had so much to say! Thanks as always for continuing to pray for & think of us...I think about all of you everyday too!

And if you are in the storm area, stay safe this weekend! It just started coming down here!

Lupron Evaluation - Done!

This morning I went in for my Lupron Evaluation, which consists of a blood draw & vaginal ultrasound. I got my blood drawn first & the girl doing it was really nice - it was quick & painless (only 1 vial)! Then, they had me empty my bladder & sit down and wait to be called in for the u/s. I have now had a couple vaginal ultrasounds, so this one was no biggie. My RE did this one & I love it when he does them b/c he shows me what's going on & talks to me while he's doing the check.

He checked my lining first & said it was nice & thin, which is good at this stage. Then he checked my ovaries & said they both looked awesome - no cysts or anything. When he looked at each ovary he said there were about "7 less than 10" on one side & "about 7" on the other ovary. I didn't ask, but I assumed he was referring to the number of antral follicles he observed. He said everything looked great & I should be all ready to get started stimming!! After I got dressed, I met with one of the IVF nurses & she gave me an updated IVF calendar. So, tonight I start stimming with 112.5 IU of Gonal-F & 37.5 IU of Menopur, and then continue the Lupron each morning, but reduce the dosage from 20 units to 5 each morning. I was told to await the call from my nurse after they get the b/w results, but that I should be good to get started with this meds administration schedule. I am so happy that I finally get to start stimming, but time is flying way quicker than I ever expected! I have a follow up appointment on Friday to monitor the follicle development. I'm staying positive & hopeful & continuing to pray that my body continues to cooperate & respond as it should to the drugs. Please Lord, let this be it for us. As always, I want to thank anyone thinking of or praying for us during this time!