Final Results

I went in on New Year'e eve morning to have my blood drawn and then ran some errands while I waited for the RE to call. Luckily I managed to be heading to my car when the call came in so I wouldn't be surrounded by people!! My levels dropped to a 2, so I am officially not pregnant. I had a feeling that was the results since I started bleeding the night before. It was brown but a lot more blood than spotting.

I feel kinda numb right now, I am sad but I am not as sad feeling as the past two times. I am not sure why that is but at least I am functioning better. I definitely had the right support group this time around. The first time I told family and a couple close friends, the second we ended up telling a ton of people and I hated getting to tell everyone it didn't work and being asked about it. So this time we only told the people that "got it" and would be the support system that both Mr. Explorer Bud and I needed. With all the ups and downs of this cycle my support group, including my buds, were what kept me sane and positive throughout. Thank you soo much!!!

Whats next? I briefly talked to the RE about doing Hormone Replacement Therapy before trying another cycle so I am going to call and make an appointment this week to really talk about it. I am also going to look into acupuncture to see how much it will really cost us to do as well. I am not sure what else we can change that will make IVF work, there isn't anything else left.

BFFN

That's right, IVF #1 was a BFN. Even though I was preparing for it, I am actually shocked. We had two very strong embryos, I stayed on bed rest for two days (RE recommends 1), I drank my POM, I ate my pineapple core, I didn't drink after first day of stims. I can't believe it.

As hard as it is, I think we are going to try again. DH wants to try another fresh cycle; I would as well. I have my WTF appointment with my RE next Monday. I am hoping to move it up. Last time we talked, the RE said we would do a frozen after the fresh. My problem with this is that while we have three embryos frozen one is very high quality and two are okay. If we couldn't get pregnant with two high quality embryos, what are our chances with only one? During this appointment, I am also going to talk to him about Mr. Plannerbud's low sperm count with all our procedures, especially the IVF. Maybe there is something that we missed.

While I am doubting that I can get pregnant, the back of my mind is telling me that it will happen. A quote a friend on one of my support board gave me the other day keeps ringing in my head. “Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it’s the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow’.” -Anne Radmacher