I must admit I have been a bad blogger. My life has been chaotic with all sort of things to fill my days.
DH got laid off finally. It sucks, but honestly, I am glad that the waiting game is over so we can't keep getting our hopes up for more time. Now we can just move on.
I also hosted a Twilight:New Moon premiere event with some friends, and while you can criticize me all you want about the fact that I am almost 29 and head-over-heels for a fictional vampire, I seriously had a ton of fun. Aside from the movie itself, it was just great to get together with people. I don't get to do it much, so I had a blast.
My quarter-life crisis is definitely in full-swing. Suddenly I feel as though I am truly looking at my life for the first time.....or maybe just more closely than I ever have before. Thinking about what I truly want, and why. Thinking about why I have become such a cynic. Realizing that the reason I haven't followed many of my dreams is because I was afraid of what people would think. Scared to NOT follow them anymore. I am putting myself out there. I have made it my goal to do at least one thing every day that scares me. Simple or small, no matter. Yesterday the thing that scared me was to go to the gym and do 10 miles on the bike. I didn't think I could. And I did. So today I am going to do 12. Because now I know that I can.
I also made an appointment for a consult on the tattoo that I want. I have a tattoo that I got on my 18th birthday from a place that gave 50% off tattoos on your 18th birthday....so needless to say, I am now ready for a cover-up! I have spent a LONG time deciding what I want to do and I finally came up with a design that is super meaningful and beautiful, and I hope to get myself inked really soon!
Lastly, I booked a trip to NYC in March. A good friend lives out there, and I have been wanting to see her for years, but schedule and money and all sorts of other excuses prevented me from going. Not this year. I am going. I realize there is a possibility that I could be KU at that point in time, but I am going regardless. I don't want another opportunity to pass me by. I also was invited to the Sundance Film Festival in January, and that one might be a little bit more of a stretch for me, but I am going to weigh it out and see if it is feasible.
In any case, the point of this long drawn-out post is to say that 1) I am still here and 2) If you get one message from this post at all, let it be this. Never ever ever give up on your dreams! We never know how much time we have....all of our days are numbered. So how will you live them??? In the words of Thoreau: "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you have imagined."
Pep talk concluded. Have a wonderful day!
Showing posts with label Helpful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Helpful. Show all posts
November 25, 2009
October 19, 2009
Preparing for TTC.
I think I am one of the few Buds that is not actively TTC or currently KU......therefore I am in a very different place than those that are charting to concieve and not to avoid, and those that are trying to concieve versus preparing to TTC. It is amazing to me the gigantic leap that it takes to move from one phase into the other. DH and I have known since we started dating that we wanted children. Actually getting to the point of taking the plunge and saying "let's do it" has been the challenge. There are so many days that I wish that I could be one of the ones that was actually TTC, not just talking about it.
At the same time, I have found so much benefit in talking about it, and in really thinking through the things that were important to us before TTC. I realize that this is TOTALLY different for everyone and what works for some people doesn't work for others, so I hope that this does not come off and some sort of exhaustive TTC checklist. These are just the things that WE talked about. I decided to share, in the hopes that maybe it could benefit someone else.
1) Age. I am 28. DH is 29. We are not old by any means. I don't feel like my biological clock is ticking. I still feel very youthful. BUT I have older parents. My dad will be 70 next year. While he is still in great shape and also very youthful, it makes me so sad to think that my kids may not get all of the quality years with their grandparents that I had with mine. DH's mom is disabled and likely only has 5 years left at most. I would be heartbroken if my children never had the opportunity to know her. So while I am not in a rush based on my own age so much, I really have had to consider not only our ages but the ages of the family members who we want so desperately for our children to know.
2) Education. I was working on my Masters degree when DH and I started talking about when to TTC. We agreed that I would need to be done with my degree first. While I totally believe that moms can work and go to school successfully, I know my propensity to give-up if given the opportunity, and I knew that if I didn't finish before hand I likely never would. DH is still working on his Masters but is about halfway done. We can live with that, because he won't be the one carrying the baby. :P I finished my degree in August, which was a big milestone towards TTC.
3) Debt. DH and I wanted to be completely credit card debt free before TTC. I paid off my credit card last year, and we are almost done paying of DH's card. We bought some new appliances for our house on credit and those will be paid off in January, so hopefully by the first of the year we will be cc debt free. The other debt like mortgage and student loans....those we can live with because they will be around until we are 40. :P
4) Jobs. Up until recently, DH's job situation was really good. However, he just learned that he will be laid off as early as the end of November, but no later than the end of January. Thus, our circumstances could drastically change in the coming months, since 3/4 of our income is from his salary. I have been job searching ever since completing my degree, but have not yet had any success. We agreed that his job would need to be secure and I would need to be in a career-job before TTC.
5) Insurance. Thankfully, I have both DH and I covered under my insurance through work. It isn't the most phenomenal insurance, but it gets the job done. This has been a huge blessing now with him getting his layoff notice because we will not be uninsured when this happens which is fantastic. We have both decided that if we were to get KU unexpectedly, our insurance would be satisfactory enough that we could handle the expense.
6) Savings. I was insistant that we had developed our savings before TTC. I am the saver in our relationship and DH is the spender. I think of the big picture more, and he lives in the moment. A year ago when the TTC conversation first came up, I decided to open a higher interest rate CD and contribute directly from each paycheck both to the CD and to our savings account. Our savings was minimal a year ago, and in that time it has grown almost 7 times it's original value which is super exciting to me. I feel like we have a nice cushion which I feel is important before TTC.
7) Health. I wanted to be in great shape before TTC. I knew that this would benefit both me and our baby. However, this has been the toughest one for me to be on board with, and I can tell you the reason why has been stress. I WISH I was one of those people that coped with stress by working out or running. I cope with stress by eating candy. I am honestly surprised I still have all of my original teeth, but I brush regularly. :P I am not overweight at all, but I wouldn't call myself healthy. I drink too much caffiene, I don't exercise as much as I should, and I eat sweets like they are going out of style. I am 28 and my triglycerides are high. That CAN'T be good. so as I said when I started posting, part of what I want to write about is my struggle/intention of getting healthy before TTC. I have accomplished a lot, but this one is a challenge for me in particular.
I hope that can help even one person as they think through their decision to TTC. There is so much to consider and I wouldn't even say that what I wrote is the half of it. We also had to talk about space in our house, whether we would need to move first, the fact that I would need a bigger car, the fact that we wanted our dog to be a little older, the fact that we wanted to get a vacation in first, the fact that I didn't want my husband to be interning when I had a new born......the list goes on. It is a huge decision, and each person reaches is on their own terms. These were ours.
At the same time, I have found so much benefit in talking about it, and in really thinking through the things that were important to us before TTC. I realize that this is TOTALLY different for everyone and what works for some people doesn't work for others, so I hope that this does not come off and some sort of exhaustive TTC checklist. These are just the things that WE talked about. I decided to share, in the hopes that maybe it could benefit someone else.
1) Age. I am 28. DH is 29. We are not old by any means. I don't feel like my biological clock is ticking. I still feel very youthful. BUT I have older parents. My dad will be 70 next year. While he is still in great shape and also very youthful, it makes me so sad to think that my kids may not get all of the quality years with their grandparents that I had with mine. DH's mom is disabled and likely only has 5 years left at most. I would be heartbroken if my children never had the opportunity to know her. So while I am not in a rush based on my own age so much, I really have had to consider not only our ages but the ages of the family members who we want so desperately for our children to know.
2) Education. I was working on my Masters degree when DH and I started talking about when to TTC. We agreed that I would need to be done with my degree first. While I totally believe that moms can work and go to school successfully, I know my propensity to give-up if given the opportunity, and I knew that if I didn't finish before hand I likely never would. DH is still working on his Masters but is about halfway done. We can live with that, because he won't be the one carrying the baby. :P I finished my degree in August, which was a big milestone towards TTC.
3) Debt. DH and I wanted to be completely credit card debt free before TTC. I paid off my credit card last year, and we are almost done paying of DH's card. We bought some new appliances for our house on credit and those will be paid off in January, so hopefully by the first of the year we will be cc debt free. The other debt like mortgage and student loans....those we can live with because they will be around until we are 40. :P
4) Jobs. Up until recently, DH's job situation was really good. However, he just learned that he will be laid off as early as the end of November, but no later than the end of January. Thus, our circumstances could drastically change in the coming months, since 3/4 of our income is from his salary. I have been job searching ever since completing my degree, but have not yet had any success. We agreed that his job would need to be secure and I would need to be in a career-job before TTC.
5) Insurance. Thankfully, I have both DH and I covered under my insurance through work. It isn't the most phenomenal insurance, but it gets the job done. This has been a huge blessing now with him getting his layoff notice because we will not be uninsured when this happens which is fantastic. We have both decided that if we were to get KU unexpectedly, our insurance would be satisfactory enough that we could handle the expense.
6) Savings. I was insistant that we had developed our savings before TTC. I am the saver in our relationship and DH is the spender. I think of the big picture more, and he lives in the moment. A year ago when the TTC conversation first came up, I decided to open a higher interest rate CD and contribute directly from each paycheck both to the CD and to our savings account. Our savings was minimal a year ago, and in that time it has grown almost 7 times it's original value which is super exciting to me. I feel like we have a nice cushion which I feel is important before TTC.
7) Health. I wanted to be in great shape before TTC. I knew that this would benefit both me and our baby. However, this has been the toughest one for me to be on board with, and I can tell you the reason why has been stress. I WISH I was one of those people that coped with stress by working out or running. I cope with stress by eating candy. I am honestly surprised I still have all of my original teeth, but I brush regularly. :P I am not overweight at all, but I wouldn't call myself healthy. I drink too much caffiene, I don't exercise as much as I should, and I eat sweets like they are going out of style. I am 28 and my triglycerides are high. That CAN'T be good. so as I said when I started posting, part of what I want to write about is my struggle/intention of getting healthy before TTC. I have accomplished a lot, but this one is a challenge for me in particular.
I hope that can help even one person as they think through their decision to TTC. There is so much to consider and I wouldn't even say that what I wrote is the half of it. We also had to talk about space in our house, whether we would need to move first, the fact that I would need a bigger car, the fact that we wanted our dog to be a little older, the fact that we wanted to get a vacation in first, the fact that I didn't want my husband to be interning when I had a new born......the list goes on. It is a huge decision, and each person reaches is on their own terms. These were ours.
August 27, 2009
Blighted Ovulm...
is the cause of 50% of first trimester miscarriages in which the baby either never develops or stops growing in the first trimester and then reduces to tiny pieces. A woman’s body recognizes abnormal chromosomes in a fetus and naturally does not try to continue the pregnancy because the fetus will not develop into a normal, healthy baby. This can be caused by abnormal cell division, or poor quality sperm or egg. Unfortunately, in most cases a blighted ovum cannot be prevented, however it is very rare for a women to experience a BO twice in her lifetime.
This is how the placenta and Embryo should begin to look like:
This is how the placenta and Embryo should begin to look like:
A perfect sac at 5 wks 4 days:
A sac at 6w 3days, but the embryo is developing at a slower pace:
Same embryo at 8 weeks:
and here is how a Blighted Ovum sac looks like... empty:
I would have never suspected that there was anything wrong with my pregnancy since I had all the pregnancy symptoms from increase in appetite, peeing like a race horse, dead tired by 4 in the afternoon and how can I forget the cravings for food that I never eat... cucumbers!! At times I am kind of relieved that this occurred early in the pregnancy where we never heard the heartbeat or saw the embryo, because I do not know how I would accepted the fact that my unborn baby was not developing and there is nothing that we can do to help it being further along in the pregnancy.
My heart goes out to those woman who have suffered a miscarriage in their 11th, 18th even in their 20th week. You ladies are so strong and I wish nothing but the best for you.
We are praying to start trying again next month and hoping to have a sticky baby.
My heart goes out to those woman who have suffered a miscarriage in their 11th, 18th even in their 20th week. You ladies are so strong and I wish nothing but the best for you.
We are praying to start trying again next month and hoping to have a sticky baby.
August 25, 2009
Migraines
Let me first give you a little bit of history.
I'm 25, I had my first migraine when I was 8 at Children's Theater in B'ham, AL. Because of where it happened, my parents and my pediatrician thought that I had the migraine because of the bus ride. I continued to have migraines about once every six months or so when I was a child. Then, when I was a teenager, I got them ALL THE TIME!!! It was horrible and my parents thought that it was because I wore perfume, or because I was tired, or because the seasons had changed. After I went off to college, I got on BCP to prevent pregnancy and nothing more. I started to notice that my migraines were much better and that they rarely came around unless I was under tremendous stress. Once I graduated from college I stayed on BCP until the relationship that I was in ended and I could no longer afford them. I noticed that my migraines came back and would make an appearance about once a month. Mr. Bud and I started dating and I quickly got on NuvaRing thinking that this would help to prevent pregnancy and everything would be great. NOT SO MUCH - I had to get off of the "ring" because it "caused me to have a second puberty" with all the hormonal issues it brought on. And this is when we realized the cause of the migraines.
Would you believe that the migraines are from the amount of estrogen my body is producing? Well, baby, it is!!!! I never really thought about it when he said this because he put me on another type of BCP and everything was fine. Maybe a migraine once every three months or so and usually right before AF showed up.
Well, this morning I temped and my temperature went up .02 degrees and wouldn't you know it, I got a migraine. I hate that it happened but, it explains so much. After 3 Tylenol, sleep and 3 hours of missed work, it is now just a dull pain on the right side of my head.
And to think, my family thought it was outside factors bringing them on. Nope, as the gynecologist said - I just produce a large amount of estrogen every month, more so then normal and this causes my migraines. Now the question is, what do I do about this without the aid of BCP?
Hope this helps someone!!
August 20, 2008
Helpful Links and Info
Here is a list of helpful links and/or info that may be helpful:
www.fertilityfriend.com
www.babycenter.com
www.fertilityfriend.com
www.babycenter.com
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