Introducing Teacher Bud!

Once upon a time two awkward, 14 year old nerds met at a choir festival.  They had a lot of mutual friends, and fell into hanging out together in their awkward, nerdy choir group.  Eventually, they became closer, swapping fantasy novels and spending hours on the phone discussing the characters.  This led to a few double dates with other choir nerds, but alas, they just stayed friends though graduation and separate colleges.  Until one summer the choir group returned home, and both nerds (now 19 and 20) were single.  Amidst many crude jokes from friends, they began dating, and 4 years later were married.  

Hi, I’m teacher bud.  Mr. Teacher Bud and I have now been married for 2 1/2 years.  Last spring, my part-time teaching job went full time, and we happily hopped on the TTC train.  It seemed perfect.  Our ideal timing involved a spring baby to minimize my time off work and the need for infant care.  Mr. Teacher bud had a conference in Japan in July 2010, so we made it into a vacation – the perfect time and place to start trying for a baby.  

Four months later, we were out of luck on the spring/summer time line, and my charts weren’t very pretty.  With my history of menstrual issues in the back of our heads, we headed off to the obgyn for some back-up.  

We’re now in the 2ww of our 8^th cycle TTC, and I feel like I’ve tried everything.  Foods?  Check. (Pom juice, green tea and pineapple core)  Supplements?  Check.  (B-6 and Maca Root)  Drugs?  Check.  (Metformin and Femara)  And don’t forget the tests.  I’ve had 7-DPO blood work, I’ve had thyroid tests, I’ve had glucose tests, Mr. TB has had 2 S/As each more confusing then the last.  

I know we’ve barely scratched the surface in terms of TTC tests and interventions, but let me tell you, this is more than I ever thought I’d need to know about fertility.  

Now?  After all of those tests, Mr. TB is making an appointment to see the urologist to talk about those confusing S/As (I’ll save that for another post.)  I’m waiting on my appointment with the endocrinologist to discuss my thyroid issues, and we’re both waiting on our appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist who can hopefully get us all figured out.  

With all of that waiting for appointments, it’s only fitting that we’re doing another waiting game as well – the 2ww.  I’m 2DPO on my second cycle of Femara.  That’s right, get ready for a boob-squeezing, chart staring, hopeful and pessimistic ride though hell.  And if this wait ends well, hopefully we can cancel some of those other waits.  Except for the endocrinologist – this thyroid thing should get figured out either way.  

Looking forward to sharing this journey with all of you,

Teacher Bud

20 Questions? More like 200!

It seems like over the past few days for every one question I get answered, another six pop up. I have a feeling this is what the next few months will entail. AF officially came yesterday, which signified the start of our first IUI cycle. Both Mr. PB and I are incredibly excited that we can do something to help us get pregnant, but I am also incredibly nervous.

The minute AF arrived the questions started arriving. How do I get my Clomid prescription? What pharmacies carry it? What time of day should I take it? How will I react on it? After some confusion between myself and my RE's nurse about my clomid got cleared up, most of these questions were answered. However almost immediately a crop of new questions popped up. What happens if I forget to take it? What will happen on my ultrasound day? Since it will not be at my RE's office, will I get results right away? Will I have to wait until Monday for answers? When will I have to take my trigger shot? What happens if I need to come for another ultrasound, but I don't know since the ultrasound isn't with my RE? When will my IUI be scheduled?

I know I can call my RE's office and ask these questions, but I feel bad about calling all he time. I have called 3 different time since Monday and I still have yet to ask about Mr. PB's repeat S/A. I am sure I am not the only one, but I don't want to become annoying to them. I know I will need them for support throughout this problem. I hope these questions will be answered soon.

The road is now mapped out

Mr. PB and I just returned from our RE results appointment. Dr. A seems very optimistic due to our diagnosis and young age (I am 27, DH is 25). Dr. A believes that we have unexplained infertility, but he is having Mr. PB do a repeat S/A to rule out mild male factor infertility. The original S/A results bad; there was 20 mllion (or 25, I can't really remember) and 25% motility. It is the motility that makes him think it may be a mild MFI, but he says a lot of things may cause that, especially our 5 days of abstinence prior to the S/A. This time we will strategically plan to ensure that we can take full advantage of my upcoming O and get his S/A completed.

We have a plan! We are going to start with a Clomid cycle (50 mg) combined with a double IUI (insemination 2 days in a row). Mr. PB is a little nervous about all the side effects listed with this drug. While I am looking forward to the hot flashes, especially during these cold NE winters, he is fearing the hormonal mood swings that he knows are coming. Even without drugs, I can be very moody the first few days of my cycle. Mr. PB maybe contacting some of you looking for a crashpad that first week or so.

Overall, I am very excited to have a plan. We know that it can take another year or so, but at least we have a plan. I am just hoping we are a lucky couple that gets it the first shot. I am sure we won't, but that is why I am happy to have such a great support system, both online and in real life. I thank you ladies for everything you have given me over the past few months.

It has been quite a month

About two weeks ago, Mr. PB received some bad news. He had been laid off once again. This economy has hit him hard since he is a warehouse/manufacturing worker. These seem to be the first jobs cut. When we found this out, we were a few days into my cycle and a few days away from our first RE appointment. As I mentioned in my last post, we decided to keep our consultation to begin the process of getting answers, but we, more specifically I, decided that we need to put our TTC on hold. I just couldn't try to expand our family with only one income.
I went to my HSG on Monday. It was definitely an interesting experience. The doctor pegged me as a teacher right away and began talking about my curriculum and books as he was beginning the procedure. Definitely a little awkward. The HSG looked good. I was all clear. He did notice a slight abnormality in my uterian shape, so I will have to have an ultrasound to make sure that there isn't a fibroid or anything pushing it in.
On the heels of that good news, we found out Mr. PB got a job. It is about 40 minutes from our house and a decent pay. Just in time for O! TTC looked like it was on again this month. However that fact that he had to be in by 7 AM threw a wrench into this plan and his scheduled S/A. I ended up calling the lab and begging for him to be moved to the end of this week. While they were able to fit him in on Thursday, it wasn't the best timing. We had been avoiding, so he hadn't released in about 6 days at the time of the S/A. However when we made the appointment on Tuesday afternoon, there was really no way around it. We were able to BD that evening as well and catch my O, but I am not sure how effective it was with his S/A earlier in the day.
I still have to schedule day 3 bloodwork and an ultrasound before hearing our results on November 29th. I am not sure I can wait that long. I think I will be harassing our RE's office to try to get the results earlier. Hopefully the next few months are a little less crazy.

Finally on the road to answers

Mr. PB and I had our infertility consultation today. We only met with a nurse practitioner, so she wasn't able to answer tons of our questions, but we did start on the road to diagnosis. After drawing out most of my blood, they set up an appointment for an HSG. Luckily for me, I normally O late (which the NP did say concerns her a little) and I can have it done on Monday. That will be a great day. Teach, go have dye and what-not shoved up my who-ha, then return for lunch duty and more teaching. Awesome!
DH also scheduled his SA. Well actually I scheduled it for him. Either way, his S/A is Monday 11/8. He is very nervous. You would think he would be nervous about the fact that his sperm may not actually swim, but nope, he is worried about have to get a "sample" by 8 AM! I told him we need to start practicing every morning to get him ready. :)
I am currently waiting to O, but we have decided to not really try this month. I am still going to temp, but we will not (try not to) BD on command. We will see how this goes.

IVF Bound

After 20ish months of TTC, we finally met with the RE this morning.

She went over both sets of S/A results with us and determined that our only real option is IVF with ICSI.

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I knew this was going to be the outcome based on the last S/A results but it was still hard to hear.

I will start BCP either this CD1 or next CD1. This will put me at ER/ET either around Thanksgiving or Christmas, either of which are not a big deal to me.

I am fortunate to have pretty great insurance coverage so our out of pocket cost won't be much for the whole procedure.

Mr. Sassy Bud and I had already discussed that we would transfer 2 embryos and the RE agreed that was the best shot for us.

Our next steps will be CD3 bloodwork for me, BCP's, and taking injection classes. I am nervous, scared, and excited all at once.

Next up- more appointments.

I feel like my TTC journey moves in slow motion sometimes. It's frustrating having to make appointment after appointment for Mr. Sassy Bud and I, but it's a necessary evil, so we do it.

Mr. SB is going in for his repeat S/A tomorrow.

I also went to my gyno and got our referral to the RE so we can officially start going to their office even though we have had all our procedures done there already.

The consultation appointment is on my birthday. I'm hoping that it wasn't a bad idea to schedule it that day. I'm pretty much already prepared for IVF as a treatment course based on our S/A results, so I don't know that I will really get any bad news at the appointment. Hopefully it is moreso exciting than upsetting, even though just making the appointment yesterday turned me into an emotional mess. I just have to be strong, and keep moving forward. February will mark 2 years of TTC. I desperately hope to be pregnant by then.

Week One Down!

I have had a very busy week, and I really did not get to go into much detail with how everything panned out from my HSG. I have now spoken to my doctor a bit more in depth about things, and can see a clearer picture now. The HSG hurt so bad that my mind was still pretty hazy directly after, and it really did bother me that I was their for the HSG...when all I really wanted was to be there because I was PREGNANT. I can't remember if I told you that they gave me a pregnancy test before my HSG. This just about shattered my heart. I know it is probably routine to do this because they want to ensure you are not pregnant for risk to the baby if you underwent the procedure pregnant. But, jeez, it was really hard having them do that because I wanted so badly to be pregnant. It was only a pee test, but still. The little voice in my head kept saying, "BE PREGNANT!!!! Be pregnant! Maybe this whole PERIOD thing you are on is just a fluke!!!!" But lo and behold...it was negative.

I have completed my Clomid. My doctor prescribed this to me for days 5-9 of my cycle. He said that although my tube was clear, and that it appears I do ovulate each month, he wanted to ensure O happened and did not want to waste this cycle. From days 10-13 I am on Estrace 3 times a day. Then from days 16-30, I am on a vaginal insertion of Prochieve, which is a Progesterone cream injected into the vagina that helps thicken the lining of your uterus and helps to 1. achieve pregnancy, and 2. sustain it if conception does indeed occur. Now, this med was 300$, which I chose not to pay. Not because we couldn't afford it, but that this money really needs to be saved in case we face other obstacles in our TTC journey. So, my doc gave me samples for the 14 days I need it, which are a 4% level rather than an 8%. So, I will gamble with it this cycle and if no luck I will discuss with Mr. JB about buying the regular prescribed amount out of pocket.

The Clomid was not too bad, but it did cause me to feel as if I was experiencing hot flashes at certain points of the day, but did not necessarily bother me just at night. It also did make me kind of moody, and gave me some sharp abdominal pains a few times a day. Oh, and wonderful gas. Yes, lots of gas LOL. But, other than that it was ok. I think I am coming down with a cold, so I cannot necessarily tell how the Estrace is affecting me; but I can say that as I sit here and type this I am feeling a bit warm and hotflashy. :-)

Mr. JB also had his SA. Lucky for him, he did not have to sit in a cold room and watch 80's porn. He got to take the sample jar home, provide his sample and bring it back. Thank goodness I was at work. It would have just been weird, lol. But, he did have a very funny encounter upon returning the little brown bag with his specimen in it...

I had left the jar and the brown paper bag on the counter for him, as I had picked the jar up at my HSG appointment. There was also a label for him to affix to the jar with his name, etc on it. I had left a piece of paper nearby that I had filled out with some necessary info the doctor needed on it, and left it next to the paper bag. So, before I leave for work, Mr. JB asks me, "Should I masturbate more than once so that they have a bigger amount to look at?" Me, "um, no honey...they need to see what your ACTUAL specimen contains and its motility when you ejaculate, so doing it multiple times would not give us an accurate answer." Mr. JB, "Ok, ok."

So, we had already discussed the issue of amount, etc. I know he wants to feel adequate, so I knew where he was coming from as soon as he asked it...but, still. It gets funnier though...

He does what he needs to do and heads to the lab to turn in the specimen. He hands the lady the paper bag awkwardly, and waits. She looks in the bag, looks at Mr. JB and says, "Is this it???" Mr. JB about DIES, and thinks oh GOD! I DON'T Produce ANYTHING!!!!!!! He is sooo mortified now, and stutters, "Uh, ya." She says, "Oh, ok well there is supposed to be a piece of paper in here." He remembers then that he had stuck the piece of paper in his pocket. He hands it to her and sighs a huge sigh of relief. The poor women was probably thinking he was crazy. HAHAHAHA!

Anyhow, now to wait for the results and pray. Mr. JB really feels the issue lies with him. I of course, think it is me. So, then I bring my best friend up to date on everything, as she lives 1500 miles away from us. She mentions to me that maybe the issue IS with Mr. JB because of Chemotherapy and Radiation he had to undergo for a lengthy period of time as a child due to tumors in his leg that kept growing back. I had NEVER, EVER thought that may be the cause of our issue, but the more said talked about it, the more sense it made. Now, I am REALLY nervous to find out the results.

Waiting Stinks. But, here I sit and pray.

June Bud

Sperm Update

Today Mr. Sassy Bud and I met with the urologist. I was able to get a copy of the semen analysis results. Here's the complete numbers:

• Volume: 1.5ml (low/normal: 2.0+)
• Color: Normal
• Viscosity: Slightly Viscous
• Liquefaction: Complete
• pH: 7.2 (Normal)
• Concentration: 36 Million (normal/normal: 20m+)
• Motility: 41% (low/normal:50%+)
• Total Progressive Motile: 0 (no fwd movement)
• Morphology: less than 1% (low/normal: greater than 3%)

You may notice that the count is much higher than what I thought in my last post. Apparently the nurse read me the wrong line when I asked her for the count. This is much, much better than I originally thought.

The rest of the appointment went really well. The doctor was very knowledgeable and made us feel very comfortable. He did a physical exam and found no issues with vericoceles.

They also ran some blood work to check Mr. Sassy Bud's FSH and Testosterone. He gave us a referral for another S/A. If the results come back the same they will be doing an ultrasound to check for any other issues. The doctor told us that we could try some supplements, such as FertilAid, while we are waiting for the test and ultrasound results. We should be able to do the repeat S/A in the next few weeks.

In non-MFI news, I received a call about the job that I have been waiting on. I go in for a meeting with them on Wednesday. It is more of a meet and greet style meeting than an interview. She basically just wants to see how qualified each applicant is to move on to the next step in the interview process. This is the job that would put a hold on our TTC plans for a year or so, so hopefully she can give me some idea of the time frame I am looking at if I were to get hired.

I have put my charting membership on hold for now, since there isn't really any chance of us getting pregnant without medical intervention at this point. The good part of having answers is that CD1 was not difficult for me this time. I knew it was coming and didn't expect anything different.

Hopefully my next update will have some answers and good news!


'

I couldn't have prepared for this.

Today we got Mr. Sassy Bud's S/A results.

I tried to prepare myself for bad news but this was worse than I expected. His count was 1.5 million. Morphology was less than 1%. Motility was 41% with no forward movement.

We have been referred to a urologist who specializes in male factor infertility.

I am still numb from the shock of the results. Mr. Sassy Bud is actually in good spirits and said he is not going to worry unless they tell them there is nothing they can do. Hopefully we can get in for some answers very soon.

S/A Saga

In my last post I was getting ready to discuss the possibility of adoption with Mr. Sassy Bud if we got to a point where we could not conceive without medical intervention. The discussion went well and I think it is something we are both open to but we've decided to leave any further discussions until we have some concrete answers.

The next step that I have been waiting for Mr. Sassy Bud to take was getting his S/A. I finally ended up making an appointment for him that he said would work with his hectic schedule at work. He was supposed to drop off his sample at the RE's office last Thursday. That morning he had an unexpected meeting scheduled at work that he couldn't get out of.

Needless to say I was quite upset. After 3 months of waiting I felt so relieved to have this out of the way, only to find out I had to wait even longer for answers. I may have said some not so nice things to Mr. Sassy Bud that day.

I then decided that I was going to just drop the subject completely and leave it up to him to make the appointment. He informed me last night he had rescheduled his appointment for Wednesday of this week. Unfortunately, that just won't work!

Let me back track a little. The reason we have had such a problem coordinating the S/A is that Mr. Sassy Bud needs some "assistance" with his sample. He is one of the rare men that just can't (or won't?) do it on his own. In order to get the sample, I purchased a special condom from the RE's office to collect the sample through intercourse. While that may be TMI for some, I thought it was important to discuss. I didn't realize that you could get the sample that way or that you would need a special condom to collect the sample until I got the paperwork from the RE.

Anyway, this basically requires that I go home at lunch time to meet him and then he can bring the sample in. With my work schedule, I can be in different locations each day. I am always at my main office on Thursdays so hopefully he can and will make the effort to change the appointment for Thursday of this week.

Of course this week I should be O-ing so we might lose our opportunity for good timing due to abstaining for the S/A, but I think it is well worth it to finally get some answers. I am hoping for some nice, strong, healthy sperm!

STILL no O

CD33 and I still haven't ovulated.

I guess this puts me back in the long-cycle club. I have been teased by a few small temp rises, only to be let down the next morning when it drops again. This is really hindering my progress with my TTC plan, since I have to wait until CD1 to schedule my HSG. As I mentioned in my previous entry, Mr. Sassy Bud is also waiting to do his S/A until then. I like to call this TTC limbo.

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Yep that's me. Somewhere between TTC heaven and hell.

I sit and hope for a BFP to end this craziness but I also am trying to be realistic to avoid the roller-coaster of emotions when AF comes. And she does. Every month.

Non-TTC life is good. Once this school term and tax season are over, I'm going to visit my sister and nieces and nephew in Texas. We are also celebrating our anniversary and Mr. Sassy Bud's birthday by taking a trip to Atlantic City and New York City. I have never been to either place so I am very excited to be able to go. I am also going to visit one of my "nestie besties" while I am there, so that is something great to look forward to.

Until then, I wait, and wait, and wait.

A non-update

CD22 and no O yet.

I took some Motrin about a week ago. I had a migrane and I was far from home and desperate during my moot court competition. It looks like that may have delayed O for me this cycle.

I cannot call to schedule my HSG until CD1, so I am in TTC limbo at the moment. We are waiting to schedule Mr. Sassy Bud's S/A until CD1 also. On the off chance I were to get PG this cycle, I don't want to waste $150 on an uneccessary test.

Last night Mr. Sassy Bud and I watched this movie:

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If you haven't seen it, I would definitely recommend watching it. While the views were slanted (as most documetaries are), it still gave us a lot to think about as far as what we want to happen at the birth of our (imaginary) child.

Hopefully my next update will be a 2ww!

Progress

I went to my gynecologist appointment last week. I was a little early for my annual but the doctor was still able to sit down with me and discuss our next steps.

I was very happy with her response. Her recommendations were exactly what I was looking for. She wrote me referrals to get an HSG, and for Mr. Sassy Bud to get a S/A. I'm not looking to be medicated at this point, so I am glad that she didn't want to go that route. I think that it is more important to make sure everything is working properly before moving on to any other steps. I have to call on CD1 to schedule my HSG, and Mr. Sassy Bud will schedule his testing then also.

In non-TTC news, I participated in a Moot Court competition this past weekend. My partner and I made it to one of the final rounds out of all 4 campuses. Our only loss was to the team that is going to the finals. It was a very exciting weekend, and it definitely kept my mind off of all things TTC.

I should be O-ing in the next few days, so I can begin my 2ww (or for me, 9-day wait) obsessing!

Another Cycle Down

Well, AF showed again after a 9-day LP.

I'm still on the TTC train. I just can't bring myself to TTA. If this is our cycle, I would be completely thrilled, despite EDD timing. I am sure I can figure out a way around taking a whole term off, either by appealing to take exams the following term, since there is obviously a medical reason, or taking some exam-less electives.

I have my annual ob/gyn appointment this Thursday. I assume they will be referring me to an RE since this is our 14th month of TTC. My plan with the RE is to have them do a S/A for Mr. Sassy Bud. If everything looks good on that end, then I will worry about our next steps at that point. Now that I'm sure I'm ovulating, the only concern on my end is my short LP. Hopefully I will get some guidance on that between my gyn and the RE.

I never expected TTC to be such a "process."

Talking about IF with others

I don't know if it was the post-Christmas blues, the end of 2009, or our upcoming IVF, but starting the middle of last week I was feeling pretty horrible - lonely & anxious to be exact. I told Mr. Worry Bud about it & told him that I think I want to speak to one of the IF counselors at my RE's office & he agreed that I probably should...he even offered to go with me! So, I am calling today to to see if we can get an appointment sometime in the near future. I just want to be sure I talk about my anxiety & why I am scared with someone who has experience with IF. I feel like it will better prepare me for IVF & all the emotions that go along with it.

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I also told my mother & sister about our IF this weekend. They were both very understanding & supportive & I am soooo happy I told them. I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off me now that they know. I can't really explain it, but that's how I feel. It made the whole rest of my weekend better after talking to both of them about everything we are going through. I saw both of them in person & I basically just explained how we started seeing a Dr. about my short cycles & that as part of standard procedures, they test both partners. I told them that all of the testing on me came back normal, but the testing on Mr. WB revealed that his semen quality was not ideal for us to conceive the natural way. I told them that I would not discuss the specifics of the S/A findings, and they respected that. I told them the Dr. gave us a less than 5% chance of conceiving on our own & that Mr. WB & I had decided to move forward with IVF. My mom - who is not a very emotional person - said that she was very sorry to hear about it & asked lots of questions about my RE (success rates, how good the fertility center was). My sister asked more about the IVF procedure itself & I explained all that I could & told her we'd be starting shortly. They both asked how much it was going to cost us & I told them what we were paying & how many cycles it included. I am so happy that I told them now - they are probably the only IRL family (or friends) that we will tell. I think we may talk about it more after we have children, but for now we want it to be a private matter.

My next hurdle will be telling my job. We have a very very liberal sick leave policy & I know my supervisor won't ask too many questions, but I am still scared to tell him/them about what's going on. I'm not sure how exactly I will tell them, but I will most likely do it in the next month or so. Obviously before the actual IVF cycle starts, but probably after the mock embryo transfer & any other testing/procedures that takes place in the month preceding the actual ER/ET. I want to talk privately with my boss & ask that he keep the information to himself, and say that I am undergoing treatment for a non-serious (it is to me, but I don't want to give TMI) medical condition that will require outpatient surgery & monitoring appointments before/after the procedure. I think that telling them once, even if we have to do IVF more than once (H&P that we don't!), then they won't really question me switching my telework days around, coming in to work late, or taking sick leave when needed. I am not going to give them a time frame & hopefully they won't ask. I hope that they respect my privacy & do not tell any other management (some of the managers in my office have big mouths)...and I don't want any of my colleagues questioning me about what's going on. Photo Credit (for above image).

As far as my current cycle, I have been slacking this past weekend on temping - I would wake up & then fall back asleep before temping. I temp REALLY early - at 5am, so it's really hard to wake up on the weekends! I did temp consistently until I confirmed my O for cycle #7 and then off & on since then. I noticed this AM (7 DPO) that my temp dropped pretty close to the cover line, so we will see what happens. I am not feeling the familiar twinges that tells me AF is coming, but sometimes I don't really before hand. Once/if (still wishful thinking that we could have a miracle BFP ;o) AF starts, I will call my RE nurse & get further directions on when to start the BCPs. I am feeling okay, mostly just ready & full of hope to become a mommy soon! Please continue to pray for us & send any positive thoughts for a successful 1st IVF attempt our way...your T&P mean more than I can ever express in words!

We have a plan!

Well, I am back from the follow up RE consult. Dr. G sat us down & spoke with us a little about our options. First things first, Mr. Worry Bud's repeat S/A came back with similar, but a little better results - both his count & motility are still low. Dr. G basically said that the only truly viable option for us to conceive is IVF with ICSI. I pretty much figured, but today we got that confirmed. I am okay - I am happy that the count & motility went up even a little....some is better than none right? I had pretty much prepared myself for our official diagnosis of MFI & for the fact that Dr. G. would suggest IVF with ICSI.

The good news is that due to my age & the absence of any female fertility issues, Dr. G has given us a 65% of conceiving with IVF/ICSI!!

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I asked about having Mr. WB see a urologist & Dr. G gave us a recommendation for one that specializes in IF, but said that he would be comfortable starting IVF w/o even going thru a urologist 1st. His reasoning was that the surgery that 'effed up Mr. WB's count/motility happened over 10 years ago & most likely the damage is done, which Mr. WB tends to agree with. Also Mr. WB DOES NOT want to have surgery down there again, especially if it may not do anything to help. But, he is going to see a urologist regardless just b/c it's good for his health overall.

I also asked about my short LP & trying in the mean time, so he gave me a Rx for prometrium (progesterone) that I will try out this cycle, but I am not getting my hopes up that it'll work. If it does - that would be an amazing miracle from God, but if not I will take it as a sign that we need to move on to IVF.

After Christmas I am going to call to schedule my mock embryo transfer & then get started on our first IVF cycle sometime in Jan/Feb & we are praying to have a lil' WB (or 2) in the oven by our first anniversary in March?! I will blog more later about how we are going to finance everything since we do not have insurance coverage. Please keep us in your prayers.

FINALLY...some good news!!

When I last left off, I was in talks with a potential insurance carrier that my job offers to see if they would cover our IVF prior to the 2-year of infertility stipulation. I was in good spirits because it looked as though we may be able to get coverage.

But, Wednesday was a bad day for the Worry Bud Family - the day just kept getting worse & worse. First, the answer from the insurance about waiving the 2-year IF stipulation prior to them covering 50% of IVF was NO. :o( Unfortunately, they cannot waive that & the guy who had been helping me said he did some research for me on the other potential carriers available to us in our area & none of them would be able to cover the IVF at this point either.

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As a result, we have decided to stick with our current insurance carrier - we are on separate insurance, but have the exact same insurance since we both selected the same carrier & work for the same employer (our insurance does not offer the "self + 1" option, only "self + family", so it's cheaper to stay on separate insurance until we have children). Our current insurance covers 85% of IF diagnosis & treatment, but 0% of assisted reproductive technologies (ART), so since we are still in the diagnosis/treatment phase, we are sticking with them. Although, if (God forbid) we are not pregnant by the end of next year, then we will most likely consider switching to the previously discussed provider, since we will be closer to the 2 year IF waiting period by that time. And with our employer, there are no pre-existing condition exclusions allowed for any of the insurance carriers.

Second thing that happened on Wednesday - we found out that Mr. WB's best friend & his wife are expecting. I am pretty good friends with his wife & they were not trying to get pregnant (although I have a suspicion, based on the discussion we had, that she may have been trying to get pg w/o him knowing - she's always trying to school me on the best time to have sex in order to achieve pg...little does she know, I know all that & then SOME about the subject!), but she was late & I told her to test, so she POAS & of course - BFP. Ugh. I hate feeling like this - they are both very excited/happy, so I'm happy for them, but it just sucks that we are dealing with this. I wish we could just be a "normal" couple, who could have sex & get pregnant. It's just that this whole ordeal has lessened the excitement of the "trying" part of TTC. Now it's more like GATC - getting assistance to conceive. I try to put on a happy face when others announce their pregnancy & I know it's not a race to get pg, but I just feel like we are beginning to get left behind because all of our friends are starting their families pretty easily (some even working on #2) & we are struggling to even get pregnant with our 1st. Sigh.

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And last but not least, my lovely AF decided to make an appearance on Wednesday evening. It started out light late on Wednesday, but my RE doesn't consider it CD 1 unless the flow starts before 5:30pm that day, so I marked it as spotting on Wednesday & AF/CD1 for Thursday. She brought along with her, a lovely set of cramps - thanks for that. So that means my LP is down again from 9 days to 8 days, but still better than previous cycles' 2-3 days.

But, finally, a bit of a silver lining in what has been a pretty horrible week for me - Flexible Spending Accounts (FSAs)! Hallelujah & praise God for them. Our employer offers an FSA that you can max out at $5K each year. The money is taken each pay period - PRE TAX, so it potentially puts you in a lower tax bracket & saves you money in the long run. The FSA is pre-funded for both of us, so it starts out with however much you elect to withhold. I had a lot of questions for the FSA program & got all of them answered, so here's our new plan to pay for IVF:

1. Both sign up for & max out both FSAs (spousal care is included, so I can use mine on him & he can use his on me if our individual FSA gets exhausted).
   
2. We will save as much as we can - approximately $1-$2K per month & finish up our testing/treatment prior to IVF. I am suspecting that Mr. WB will be seeing a urologist & perhaps getting some treatment to help improve his counts. And I will ask about getting on progesterone supplements for my LPD, so that we can continue to try on our own while we are doing the rest of the diagnostic testing & follow up with other specialists.
3. When/if we are recommended to go on to IVF, then we will put down as much as cash as possible, then finance the remaining portion thru Fertility Finance, which our RE is a participating provider with.
4. They will pay the balance on our account on our behalf prior to beginning actual IVF treatment.
5. Then we will get the statement showing the account is paid up from our RE & submit the claim form to our FSA.
6. The FSA will reimburse us $10K immediately & we will use that money to give to the finance company & then reimburse ourselves if any money is left over.

Oh & our current insurance company does cover some of the medications we will need for IVF - whew. So, I am hoping this all works out & we get a little one in my belly in 2010! We are currently still waiting on Mr. WB's medical records fromt he Dr. who performed his testicular torsion surgery & the results of the repeat S/A. Please continue to send all the T&P you have our way that this works out for us!!!

PS - I want to send special T&Ps out to Dandelion Bud - I am praying that your follies continue to grow as they should & you get your long awaited sticky little DB (or 2)!! And to Sugar Bud - I am so sorry for everything you are going thru & wish the best for you & Mr. SB...please let me know if there is anything you need.

Follow Up S/A Scheduled!

For this Thursday, December 10, 2009! We BD'ed (well really just had sex b/c I know I O'd like 6 days ago) last night so that we didn't abstain for too long again. Opps! I am 6 DPO today, but am starting to have slight cramping, so I'm thinking AF will be here again before I know it, then on to cycle #7. :o/ 5 months - 7 cycles, sheesh. My cycles were so short due to my stupid LP, ugh! But on the bright side - it seems to be getting a bit longer now, yipee!!

This past Saturday, I got the sweetest card from Dandelion Bud that gave me some encouragement to keep my head up & push thru this. I heart her....she's great. And I have also been talking to another online friend who recently found out that she is dealing with MFI as well. At first, her hubby's counts came back with zero sperm (AKA Azoospermia), but on his repeat S/A they found over 3 millions, so that's a definite improvement. Maybe Mr. WB's will shoot up a little like that?! I'll take anything right now. So, I will be anxiously awaiting the results, which we should hopefully receive no later than December 17th - the day before our f/u consult with Dr. G.

Oh & semi-good news...I called the insurance representative for one of the carriers I mentioned I had an option of switching to & he asked me to send him some additional information & he'd get back to me on if IVF would be covered in our case. Right now it says that infertility will not be covered until a couple has been trying for at least a year unsuccessfully at my age & IVF won't be covered until a couple has been trying at least 2 years & no other less expensive procedures have worked. But, I asked that if we have a Dx & the Dr. tells them that it is warranted earlier in this case, then would we be eligible for the benefit earlier. He said he is pretty confident that the answer is yes, that if we/the Dr. could prove that it is medically warranted prior to that stated time frame, then the insurance would cover it. I sent him all the information he requested & he said he would most likely be able to get back to me Tuesday (tomorrow), woot! It's 50% of the costs & although we would still be spending a few thousand, it's much better than 0%. So, please please please keep your fingers crossed & send us any spare thoughts & prayer s that: 1) Mr. WB's S/A comes back with better results & 2) that the insurance company decides to cover it! That would be Christmas gift enough for me!

Next Steps

It's been 5 days since we got the devastating news that Mr. Worry Bud's S/A yielded less than desirable results. Since then, I have taken a step back and really took time out to think about what we will have to face. I'm not gonna lie - I'm scared...terrified, but I'm trying to be strong & optimistic. A true God send in this whole ordeal has been Dandelion Bud - she is going through the same thing I am right now (just a little further along), so she has really helped me get through all of this. During our phone conversation today, she helped me develop a plan of action for the next few weeks before our follow up consultation with the RE on December 18th.

First, Mr. WB needs to get a copy of his medical records from his surgery. He has never been exactly sure of WHAT he got the surgery for. He thinks, based on the symptoms described for testicular torsion, that it is what he experienced & had surgery for. He was a senior in high school, I think 18 years old at the time, but he didn't ask too many questions - just went ahead with the surgery the doctor his mom took him to said was necessary to relieve the excruciating pain. He's originally from about 4 hours away, so I have tasked him with sending the necessary request tomorrow so that we can get a copy of his medical records ASAP.

Second, we need to have Mr. WB see a urologist. I plan on looking for one that accepts our insurance tonight & I want him to call & make an appt. for this week if possible. I would LOVE to have the results prior to our RE appt. on December 18th, so that we know exactly what's going on & we can formulate a plan once we sit down with the RE. In speaking with Dandelion Bud, she asked how long we had abstained prior to him giving his sample & I told her about 2 weeks. She (& Obessive Bud too) told me that the time we had abstained prior to him giving the sample was too long & probably skewed the results & that we should definitely do a repeat S/A to confirm or rebut the original findings. She said she is surprised that the RE's office didn't question that before even accepting Mr. WB's sample. How amazing would it be if the fact that we abstained from sex for too long caused the less than stellar S/A results? This is a possibility, but I'm not getting my hopes too high.

Third, we both have to get some routine b/w done that is a part of the IF work up & that we haven't gotten done yet. The RE also sent additional lab slips for Mr. WB to get his hormone levels tested to ensure that his hormones aren't causing the S/A results & that the problem can't be simply corrected with drug hormone therapy.

Fourth, it is insurance open season right now for my job (ends Dec. 14th) & I am fortunate enough to have several plans to choose from. However, I did a quick review of all of them & saw that of the plans that covered IVF require a 2 year period of IF before they will pay for it (& a 1 year period of IF before they will pay for ANYTHING else related to IF testing & Dx). Dandelion Bud said that her insurance had a similar requirement, but that those policies normally apply to female infertility & that when she had her insurance scare, the fact that they were dealing with MFI made a difference & factored in to her insurance ultimately approving their IVF cycle. So, what I am going to do is go back and look at all the insurance companies that even partially covered IVF & call their customer service & find out if the 2 year waiting period applies to MFI as well. Cross your fingers that we can find an insurance that will cover this, b/c if not we are looking at $10K + for just ONE IVF cycle & that's not including the meds!

And finally, I checked out a really great book at the library the same day Dr. G called me with our our S/A results. It is written by Elizabeth Swire Falker, who suffered through infertility for over 7 years before adopting. It has a lot of good information for women & couples having to face the horrible reality of IF. I have a bunch of other books I want to read about IF after I finish this one as well.

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So, that's the plan - I am hoping for good news from Mr. WB's repeat S/A, but am trying to also remain realistic that most likely the results will be the same/similar & we will be in the same boat after S/A #2 that we are in now. I want to thank everyone soooo much for all the kind words you have sent our way - they mean so much to us both. Please continue to keep us in your T&P as we figure all of this out.