It's Officially Negative!!

Today was the final day for my HCG levels to be detected on a HPT and it came back with a BFN!! I was surprisingly calm about it this morning and today but I just layed in bed all day moping. My parents did swing by to say sorry and give me a hug and then we went to breakfast at IHOP with them and my niece which was surprisingly nice!!

Yesterday I was an emotional wreck and spent most of the day crying, being crabby or just in general having a big pity party while attempting to clean our disaster of a house. I even baked some mini cakes that look like trains and presents that I am going to fill with cream and then eat them, YUM!! Mr. Explorer Bud stayed in the garage pulling an engine where he was safe, for the most part, from my craziness!!

I am glad that we know for sure and there is not a cliff hanger for a week. I am glad I don't have to take shots anymore or all the pills, not that I would've minded if I were pregnant but it is nice to be done. I took the patches off and didn't take anything today so it feels final. I will probably still have spouts of sadness and anger but I am mostly just feeling resigned that we will not be having kids in the next year or two. I think we will just wait to do another IVF cycle after Mr. Explorer Bud is out of school. Maybe that is what we are supposed to be waiting for in the first place so why keep trying. Of course there won't be any prevention going on in the bedroom but like the Dr. said it is less than a 1% chance of occurring naturally and that was before I lost my left fallopian tube!!

Hopefully AF will arrive sooner than later so we can move on with it all!!

I Tested

So I decided I would test this morning and then Saturday and then Monday. This morning's was a lovely "Not Pregnant" so I will do Saturday and Monday and if they are both negative I will stop taking the meds. At least this time in my dreams the test was negative so I didn't have all those hopeful vibes in the morning.

So I am not sure what is the problem but the injection site of my progesterone shot yesterday is now welted up and still really sore. I may have injected a small piece of glass into my bum!! I had broken the top off and didn't realize there was some glass at the bottom of the vial till I had sucked up all the Progesterone. But I checked the syringe and didn't see anything so I figured it was alright. I haven't had a reaction to the injections prior to yesterday so not sure if my body is just irritated or I put some glass in there!! I guess if it doesn't go away in a few days I will call the Dr. and see what he thinks.

And The Wait Continues

Photo Credit
Now I am officially another 48 hours which if my Beta were continuing to increase at the rate they did the previous 48 hours I should be at a 16!! I know pretty crazy high numbers there but I might as well put my amazing math skills that I learned in College to good use while I wait and hang onto this small shred of hope. I was going to do a HPT this morning but then decided I should wait till tomorrow or Friday so they would be higher if indeed they are increasing. Tomorrow I should be at a 32 and Friday should be a 64 and Saturday would be 128 which would be where I was about on day 16's Beta level of last IVF cycle which was ectopic.

I have not renigged the mass text I sent out to everyone that this cycle did not work because in all reality it hasn't but I do feel a bit guilty with everyone being sad and I am hanging onto a little hope that I can send out that text saying, "Guess what one did stick and grow and we are expecting!!" I got a lovely bouquet of flowers and one of the most well stated sympathy note that was the perfect mix of sympathy and positiveness. If I had it at work I would tell you what it said but it is on my fridge at home. I think that is what I hate the most about telling people is having to accept all the sympathies and wanting to talk when all I want to do is forget about it make it go away. I am excellent at ignoring the elephant in the room!!

Anyways, lets move onto any symptoms I am having of a possible pregnancy, by boobs are a little bigger, there is still no spotting or bleeding, the twinges/cramping has subsided to almost nothing and I have little appetite. So who knows I am still taking all the meds and man has this mornings Progesterone shot been smarting all morning!! Maybe it is because I am still taking everything that AF hasn't arrived to make it all final.

I will let you all know if I am brave enough to test tomorrow morning or Friday or Saturday!!

Test Day Blues with a Twist

http://www.photospin.com/singleproduct.asp?id=35112&search_id=5684&the_page=1&page_offset=0
So I had the first blood test on Saturday but since the Dr.'s office wasn't open that day I had to wait for the results on Monday. I took a pregnancy test Saturday morning finally at 5:30 am after laying awake since about 2:00 am with anxiety about the whole thing. I was having dreams that it was positive and then dreams it was negative, it was all very stressful even in my sleep!! So I peed on the stick and got this ugly result



As you would assume I wasn't too positive about the blood work after that. Although you always read and my Dr. tells me that they are not as sensitive as a blood test and don't stop taking your meds just because you got a negative on a pee stick. So I did the Saturday morning test early so that I would do the Monday morning test before I knew the results of Saturday's. I just wanted to be extra sure in case Saturday's wasn't good. All Saturday I was intermittently crying and trying to be positive about this cycle because that is what you are supposed to be positive. Everyone makes you think that if you are a negative about it that it will ruin everything so I holed up on the couch and watch Chocolate and It Could Happen To You and ate a lot of candy. You know eating your emotions is very helpful, always!! Mr. Explorer Bud then drug me out of the house to eat dinner and I got some delicious raspberry lemonade to feed my fake happiness.

Sunday I was feeling positive and ready for Monday, so I thought. Sunday night I slept for a few hours and then laid awake agonizing over what the results were going to be and I had to have a shot on my left side as well and was going to be mad if it came back negative and I had to take the shot. Finally I got out of bed and read a book downstairs on the couch and tried not to agonize over what might be in a few hours. Mr. EB woke up and gave me my shot, the best he has done yet, and we packed the dog into the car and off I went to the hospital to have my blood drawn for the second time. Funny thing the girl checking me in said she wanted to be pregnant and that it just sounded like fun. I told her well I hope it is an easy process and good luck with that. Then she was asking about me and I told her we had to do IVF and she wanted to know what that was so I explained it to her. It is strange that people don't know what IVF is but I guess if you aren't immersed in it all the time you wouldn't really know.

At 9:00 am I put in the call to the Dr.'s office which they then take down my info and tell me the nurse will call me back. Yes so more waiting!! She calls back and says that it was negative and she is sorry. Me too, believe me, me too!! I tell her I took the second one this morning and if they would call me or if I needed to call them for the results. She said she didn't think they would be any different but I would need to call them back in a few hours if I wanted to get the results. Luckily I was at work, which luckily happens to be at my parents house, and flopped on their bed and cried for a while. Then sent out the mass text message to everyone who was waiting anxiously for the results as well, so at least I wouldn't have any calls wanting to know. Then I went in and cried on my dad's shoulder and then my mom's. It was a good ole' cry fest but you know you do feel better after a good cry. Then Mr. Explorer Bud got out of class and I went and picked him up and had a little cry fest with him.

So here is the mean weird twist of this whole sad story. Mr. Explorer Bud wanted me to call the Dr.'s office and get the results of the second test so I obliged. The nurse call's me back and says well the test shows that my level went from a 1 to a 4 in 48 hours which are really low numbers but hey I should do a HPT in a week and see what it shows. So of course I can't stop taking my shots, a gazillion pills and patches now because what if it works. Now this whole saga is just going to be drug on for another week. I can't get excited because I don't really believe that it will become anything but I am a little happier in that there might just be a miracle in the works here. So Mr. Explorer Bud is out buying 4 or 5 tests so we can do some testing this week and see what happens. There you have it the so very long story of our test results which are now To Be Continued.....

One Day to Go

I test TOMORROW!!! I am feeling eerily calm so I am not sure that is because I feel like it will be negative and it is the calm before th storm or if I am just feeling peacefully confident! I know you would think I would know what this calm is but I don't!! I feel like I don't have any symptoms except for those twings or cramps almost daily. I know there are not supposed to be symptoms right now anyways except those caused by all the hormones that I am taking but I want there to be so I can be sure that this time it is the time!! Last time I was pregnant just in the wrong place, the fallopian tube, so it's not like I can't get pregnant thru IVF but each time is different and just because it worked last time doesn't mean it will again. I guess I am resigned because this will be our last try for at least another year since we will need to save back up the money again!! Yeah I love saving money, not!!

Home At Last

I am home and man have I missed my comfy bed, my husband and dog!! I am sleeping way better and have enjoyed getting back to work. I am feeling super tired which is just the Progesterone but that means I am ready for bed at 9:00 pm! I feel like an old woman!! I still have been feeling twinges or crampy feeling every day so not sure what it is but I am going to go with that it is a good sign. I am on day 12 of the 2 WW and will be testing this Saturday. The bummer is the Dr.'s office won't be able to give me the results till Monday when they are open so I am sure I will do a HPT on Saturday so I will know otherwise I might just go crazy! I will start back doing taxes next week so either way I will be busy enough to keep my mind off of the results.

5 Days Post Transfer

It is day five of the 2WW. Today is the last day that the embryo's should be hatching and starting to implant. By Tuesday they are supposed to be completely implanted and growing so hopefully at least one of those four are doing what they are supposed to!! I have felt some pinching feelings the past few days but I am not sure if it is the upset stomach from Metformin or implantation twinges. Hard to say unless I can look inside and see what is going on in there!! This is what a six day old embryo implanting looks like, weird huh?!


Photo Credit



Today was the Progesterone shot in the left cheek which is the most sensitive and I did a lot of walking, squatting, leg swings and this time there is not a big knot and hopefully no bruise either!! Tomorrow we fly back to the States!! YEAH!!

My Butt Is Bruised and Other Ramblings

I only have to do the Progesterone shots every other day but man is my butt sore!! The first two weren't bad going in but yesterday's was painful going in and I had a big knot for a few hours!! I was checking out my buns this mnorning in the mirror and I have several bruises sprouting up, hopefully this will end in a pregnancy so that I can feel like this was all worth it!!

Being on bed rest is soo boring!! The days drag and I am waking up about 5:30 each morning and not going to bed till 11:00 pm. Sleeping on my back is for the birds but so is laying around the apartment. My mom and I did go and get a snow cone today which was delicious. It had lots of sugary goodness that made my day!! The good thing about staying in Panama till Monday is that I will only have to wait 5 days for the blood test. Being here still doesn't feel like I am done with the IVF yet but just waiting for another appointment.

So far on this trip we have run into 4 people that are from Utah as well and we have had a wonderful time chatting in English with them. It is really nice being able to talk to someone in your own language when you are in a foreign country!! They of course ask why we are here and most of the time when people ask I will tell them why I am here but other times I just say for vacation. I am not sure why I just don't tell everyone but sometimes I don't feel like explaining everything or I figure they won't be all that interested. I guess I am still a bit self-conscious about people's opinions on what we are doing and don't want their pity either. I am fairly private with my problems and don't deal with with people's sympathies but I have been trying to work on that since I think it helps me deal with the process and my emotions. Mr. Explorer Bud likes to joke that he shows emotion like a girl and I like a guy! It is true but since being married to him I have slowly been opening up and learning how to handle the expression of emotion. Don't get me wrong I still will rarely cry in front of someone or express my emotions with people unless pried to do so but I am way better!! The one thing that makes me want to share my experience is that I have heard lots of positive stories from people of someone they know who was successful and it makes me feel positive about our cycle or when I am able to help someone else out with more information about the IVF process or where to get information. It is always amazing how many people who are in the same or similar situations as we are and it makes me feel less broken and frustrated. At least I am not the only one in this lovely boat!!

Embryo's On Board

My mom and I drove all the way to the Dr.'s office all by ourselves!! We were really nervous since this was only the second time to do it and the first without following someone. There is a huge three lane round-a-bout that we have to drive around which in Utah not that difficult in Panama a whole different story. We did it though and got a parking spot near the office and even got there early. We did get a delicious snow cone before heading out so I think the sugar eased the jitters and helped us get there!!



After consulting with Mr. Explorer Bud, my mom, the Dr., God, a few friends, and of course the internet I decided to go with 4 embryo's to implant. It is fun to get dressed into the surgical outfit then get taken to the dark room to view those little embryo's. It is like my own personal science experiment!! The four are all grade one and 8 cell so hopefully at least one of them takes. Then we get to head back to the "Operating Room" to do the Transfer. Of course I just have the little paper gown that opens in the front so pretty much you are spread eagle with the gown wide open. At least I am not embarrassed about my naked self otherwise it would make for a very uncomfortable procedure. I have the Dr., the scientist, my mom and the nurse all getting a good look at those nether regions!! This time I learned that I don't need to drink very much water for my bladder to be full, last time they said to drink 6 to 8 glasses of water so I did and had to let out my bladder several times because I was very uncomfortable! But the procedure itself isn't uncomfortable and is only about 15 minutes long. Then I get to lay on the table and chill out for a while which is nice.

I am supposed to be only sitting or laying on my back, walking no more than a mile per day, no hanging out in the sun, no activities that will make me sweat and don't get stressed. All easily done but it does make the 2WW a really long time since I am not doing much except work and home!

Fertilization Report

The results are in: of the 12 eggs, 10 fertilized with ICSI, 8 made it to day 2 and we will be transferring tomorrow around 2:30 in the afternoon. I am glad that we have 8 to choose from and we will decide how many to put in this time around. Last time we did 3 and one took but the Dr. suggested 4 this time but I am not sure. We will see tomorrow when we see the quality on day 3 of them.

Egg Retrieval

Today was the big day, the egg retrieval. I went in at 9:00 am for the procedure and was feeling great. The past two days I had some discomfort in my ovaries but that day I felt great and was ready to go. Besides how could I not be feeling great with the amazing get up that they give you for the procedure!!



The Dr. was able to retrieve 12 good sized eggs and Mr. EB arrived a 1/2 hour after the procedure to give his sample, so Monday I can call the Dr. and see how many fertilized and the time and day for the transfer. This time around I am feeling a lot more discomfort after the retrieval. I am not sure if it is because of more eggs or what but I am enjoying the Tylenol! The Dr. gave me my long list of meds that I get to start taking now. Estrogen patches, estrogen pills, progesterone shots, baby Asprin, loads of folic acid and an antibiotic. Oh the fun pill popping resumes but it is better than all the shots in the stomach!

For those of you that don't know what happens with an egg retrieval I found this great explanation and video.

"The egg retrieval is performed thirty-six hours after hCG injection. You are given sedation by an anesthesiologist through an intravenous catheter, a small tube in an arm vein. You are not completely asleep, but in a sort of twilight state; you remember very little of the retrieval. After you are sedated, the vagina is washed with a salt water solution. A needle is placed under ultrasound guidance into the ovary and fluid and eggs from the follicles in your ovaries are collected into a test tube and sent to the IVF lab. The whole procedure takes about 30 minutes, and discomfort is generally minimal. On average eggs will be retrieved from over two thirds of the follicles.

Click here to view laboratory footage of an oocyte retrieval."

Lots of Follicles

So I purchased a GPS map of Panama to download onto my friend's GPS that they lent me so we would hopefully avoid getting as lost as last time. Panama is seriously lacking with their road signage. Even in the city it is horrendeous!! Anyways so today on the way to the appointment I decided to go with Mrs. GPS and she proceeded to lead me across the canal towards the coast, granted I would love to go to the beach than go into the city but the city was where we were expected!! Mrs. GPS then proceeded to tell me to turn right as we are crossing the bride, on the highway to get me to turn around, which I would've done if there was a road to turn onto!! Anyways we got to our appointment 20 minutes late and of course it was a jam packed day for the office and we had to wait for about 45 min's before seeing the Dr.

Today I have 17 follicles, yes 17!! Last round of IVF I had 10 which I thought was pretty good. Of the 17, 12 are a good size that will probably be good quality eggs. That should leave us with a lot of options on what we can put back in!! So tonight I will take my trigger shot of Lupron at 11:00 pm and will do the aspiration on Saturday morning at 9:00 am. Of course Mr. Explorer Bud will be arriving at the airport at 10:24 as I am recovering from anethesia, so Eric,our medical tourism contact, will figure out getting him picked up and to the hospital to give his sperm to the Dr. It is funny that in Panama, or at least at this office they do not provide any lubrication, magazines or anything they just have to go to the bathroom to give the sample. Mr. Explorer Bud felt a bit awkward since he felt like everyone knew what he was doing in there and just waiting for him to come out!! I can only imagine what that would be like!! Good thing I get to be knocked out and resting!!

Oh and the drive went well today and we found a new way to come back to the apartment so we don't have to drive through craziness!!

Another Appointment and Counting

We met with the Dr. again and he said my ovaries are very full and now we have a lot of follicles, I can' remember how many but about 8 are a good size and the others are all small. So we are now on a daily schedule to visit with the Dr. until retrieval day that way he can adjust my medications daily and make sure everything goes smoothly. I don't really mind since I like see all those follicles in the ultrasound and I really enjoy chatting it up with the Dr.




YUMMY CEVICHE

Today on our drive back from Dr.'s office and then the fish market my mom and I were rear ended by a semi truck, oh so fun especially when you don't speak enough Spanish for any of the parties to communicate. Luckily we had Eric and Ilka, our medical tourism people, to translate for us via cell phone otherwise we would've been very lost!! This is our poor car



Luckily no one was injured just the poor rental car and about 5 hours later we were able to return to our lovely apartment and relax!! Oh man I am not looking forward to the drive tomorrow!!

Third Appointment

At today's appointment we checked those little follicles and discovered that two more have appeared, we now have 12. The Dr. said they are all looking like they are getting nice and big but he doesn't want any more to appear so he has decided to drop my Menapur down to 1 ampule and then start the Cetrotide today instead of tomorrow. The nice part is I am skipping a day of Menapur tomorrow and so I only have one shot tomorrow and back to two the following day. The Cetrotide was a piece of cake and I didn't even feel it which was lovely since my stomach is getting a bit sore and swollen.

While we were waiting for my appointment a pregnant lady walked by and we commented that she looked ready to pop, her mom turned and told us she was pregnant with twins!! It gave me a glimmer of hope that yes people do actually get pregnant with IVF and that I could too this again.

Second Appointment & Such

We have been staying on an island off of Panama called Isla Colon/ Bocas Del Toro which is a lovely place. We are literally in the jungle and across the road from the Ocean. We have tons of wildlife and it rains most evenings and mornings so it is a relaxing start to the day, since we don't have to go anywhere and can just swing in the hammock listening to the rain! We also have the properties dog named Lassie who comes and hangs on our porch with us during the day. We have been enjoying walking along the ocean and enjoying the wonderful warm weather! It is in the mid 20's at home so I am very glad to be gone!! Anyways... the Dr. threw in an extra appointment right before coming and of course it was in the middle of being here in Bocas. Since there are only two flights a day out and in I had to catch the early flight into Panama City and luckily they squeezed me into the first appointment slot. Then catch the last flight out at 3:30 back to Bocas. Each appointment we first do an ultrasound and check out those ovaries to see how they are looking. I have 10 good follicles growing which is nice to see, that is the same as we had last time. The Dr. had upped my dose of Menopur from last time but has decided that the follicles are growing too fast and is dropping me back down from 3 to 2 ampules. So Monday we will check again and see how they are growing. Other than that we went over my medications and I needed to get some more needles and syringes for the medications. Most appointments are pretty straightforward and short but it is always interesting to see the ultrasounds and look at the ovaries. They are soo strange looking with the follicles that look like big black holes in the ovaries.

So when I am on all the hormones the Metformin no longer gives me intestinal troubles, I think it is because the hormones make you constipated and the Metformin makes you have the runs so it evens out in the end. Weird but I really like the effect oh and my finger nails get really long and don't break, my skin is smooth and my hair is less greasy. Maybe that means when I get pregnant that I will be one of those that glow and have amazing hair and nails?! Let's hope so, probably should just focus on the here and now though.

Hopefully by Monday I will have been able to purchase a USB cord for the camera since I forgot that and the cord to connect the GPS to my computer so I can download the Panama road maps. Then I will post some lovely pictures of where my mom and I have been and the beautiful things we have been seeing.

Until next time,

We Have Arrived

My mom and I are finally here in Panama!! This time around I was mostly packed a week ahead of time, met with my doctors and purchased a panama map for my GPS system to hopefully minimize my time getting lost!! Our flight was soo much nicer this time around as we flew business class and the food was 10x's better tasting and the seats were wide and comfy to sleep on which helped get some sleep as we flew the red eye. We arrived at 10:30 in the morning and Eric, our Medical Tourism contact, met us at the airport to take us to my first appointment. It was a good feeling to know that someone was waiting and things are taken care of and I can just relax and enjoy the journey. Last time there were so many unknowns, including if the medical tourism company was a scam or real! I remember flying into Panama City and saying to my Mom, "so do you think someone will really be there to pick us up?"

Our first appointment went smoothly, we met with Dr. Berbey's assistant and he did the initial ultrasound, we went over the surgery and what happened, my medicine schedule and our next appointments. It is a nice feeling to know what is going to happen, how to do my injections, what will happen at each appointment, and a past round to compare to.


This round I am on 3 amps of Menopur (10 days), 3 tablets of Clomid (3 days) and 1 amp Cetrotide (4 days). My first injection stung but I know that it will get better and then get more irritated towards the end of the two weeks but hopefully it will be all worth it!


We are are currently wrapped in our cozy robes and tucked into bed watching Biggest Loser definitely a good motivational show to be watching so I think I will have to take those people's dedication and hard work and transfer it to my IVF cycle!!

Introducing Explorer Bud

Let’s start at the beginning, girl meets boy, they fall in love and get married! I married Mr. Explorer Bud in June 2007 and we bought our first home a week after getting married! We knew we didn’t want kids right away as Mr. Explorer Bud still had 3+ years of school left and I was working full time. So we started our marriage off with lots of traveling and fun adventures instead. I love to try new things and have picked up sewing, knitting, baking, cooking, swimming, running races, a triathlon, CrossFit, working at a crisis nursery, rock climbing, tennis, bicycling with clips (scary), and many other things. I love to tackle something new at least once a year and travel somewhere new. I would love to take a year and travel all around the world but that will have to be some other time when we actually have money and the freedom to do so, probably when we are retired!

We got a “test child”, Charlie the dog, that has been a wonderful addition to our little family. Then I found my husband and I a part-time job at a Crisis Nursery as weekend house parents that take care of kids who are in limbo with the foster system or the parents need time away from their children. A lot of the kids have behavioral or emotional issues so it was quite the experience for both Explorer Buds! Definitely let me see how my husband would handle difficult children and also his wonderful soft side with them. We live where there is a lot of babies!! So it is easy to feel surrounded by pregnant women and babies any time of the year. The baby fever began to hit Mr. Explorer Bud before me but it soon caught me a little after a year of being married. We of course thought what everyone does that we would get pregnant within the first few months without a problem…well that of course was not the case!!

After going off Birth Control for a few months and not getting AF I went into my doctor to discuss if my Hypothyroidism could be a cause and if we needed to adjust my medications. The doctor told me not to worry and to wait a few more months and that he was sure everything was fine. I knew that there was something else wrong so I did the smart thing and went to an Endocrinologist, someone that would know a bit more about Hypothyroidism. At this time I was training for my third marathon and a sprint triathlon at the same time and instead of losing or maintaining the scale kept rising. I have always been in excellent condition and never overweight but since my thyroid had started to slowly stop working the weight had been creeping on. After some convincing of the Endocrinologist and her assessment that yes I did not look like the typical marathoner and no I wasn’t stuffing myself with junk food that she would run not only thyroid but a full hormone panel to see what was causing AF to be absent for so long. The tests came back and we discovered that I had the start of PCOS and my thyroid was too low. In came Metformin and boy was that a joyous journey. It seems doctors have some problems giving you a heads up on the side effects of medicine and I soon found out the lovely intestinal issues that come with Metformin. Luckily my neighbor, who is a nurse, filled me in and I was able to fix most of those problems. The doctor also informed me that if I wanted to have kids I should go see a specialist soon because I wasn’t getting any younger, mind you I live where most people are having kids in their early 20’s so a 29 year old is pretty old to be starting having kids around here. Yes the doctor has quite the bedside manner but she is the best in the area.

Off I went to the RE to discuss our options and what we should be doing differently. We started with Clomid and after 3 months of nothing happening Mr. Explorer Bud’s SA which came back with the bad news of 1% Morphology! So we were told our only option was IVF with ICSI which of course is lots of $$$$! At this point I started looking into clinics out of state and trial studies that we might qualify for. Sadly I didn’t qualify for most of them and the ones I did they didn’t cover anything. I found a few websites about going abroad to do IVF and started looking into that. I have travelled a lot and knew that places like Thailand you could get excellent medical care for a fraction of the price. Of course I started looking for places that looked fun to go to and that the clinics had good feedback and weren’t incredibly expensive. I had settled on going to Greece but discovered when I wanted to go was going to be very expensive just to get there and staying wasn’t economical so my savings went out the door. I then found a clinic in Panama that had good results, the doctor was very helpful and there was a medical tourism company to assist me with the process. So the hubby and I put our cars up for sale and sold both of them so that we could pay off our debt and get the money to go along with buy a very used car to share.

We made our plans to go to Panama, unfortunately Mr. Explorer Bud was only able to come for a few days to give his sperm sample, as he is in school and his professors said there was no way he would pass if he missed more than 2 classes. Luckily my Mom was able to come the whole time with me so I would have someone to hold my hand. Our first round of IVF with ICSI was a great experience in the doctor was excellent to work with and listened to all my questions and what I wanted to be done. The medical tourism company we went with were also great and accompanied us to every appointment which was a great stress reliever as there are limited signs in Panama and it is easy to get lost. I was one of the lucky ones that the injections didn't bother me and I actually felt better while on them! It did help that my Mom gave them to me and she is an excellent shot giver! We ended up with 3 grade A eggs that we put in and I flew back home hopeful that this was going to end with a baby. I had a lot of spotting throughout and my BETA’s were 71 and then 172 so we figured everything was going good. At 7 weeks we went in to see how many and discovered there were none in the Uterus and that I had one in my left fallopian tube thriving. Little did the embryo know it couldn’t thrive in a fallopian tube so we went in that evening for emergency surgery to remove our one success. I was soo mad that it didn’t work and frustrated because we had used our savings to pay for our one shot which did work just not the right way! We were blessed that my parents offered to pay for round two and so we are getting ready to try again this February! I am apprehensively hopeful that this time it will be fine and we will have a baby at the end of this. If not, we are not sure of the next step for us as Mr. Explorer Bud is not ready to explore adoption.

I am excited to keep track of our journey this time around and share our experience with all of you. I will be writing soon!

Explorer Bud