1st IVF Appointment

Today was our first appointment for the start of the IVF process. We did our baseline ultrasound and there were some follicles hanging out in the ovaries and no cysts. So off to a decent start. We did have to dialate my cervix which was quite the unpleasant experience. I am not sure why I didn't have to have that done the first two times but man am I glad I didn't. I wanted to throw up and pass out while trying to relax my uterus so my cervix would keep expanding. Next time I will drug myself heavily!!!

We went over the medication schedule, set up our second appointment for the 29th, got our needles and syringes and got my hip/butt marked for the Menopur injections. The Dr. said he felt they were absorbed better intramuscular instead of subcutaneous in the abdomen so sadly I will be getting more butt shots than I had hoped for but the Dr. did say they are supposed to hurt less that way as well. Can I really trust him to know that info??!!

I start Clomid and Femara tomorrow and then Menopur on Thanksgiving! I will be in rainy California for the rest of this week visiting with family so that will be good but a new twist of going through an IVF cycle doing normal life stuff.

Oh and we got to pay for the procedure, dilation and needles to a nice total of $4,710. So far with our medication costing $1,093 (I still need to purchase HCG shot and the Progesterone shots), the mini-stem IVF w/ ICSI $4,600 and cervix dilation $100 we are at $5,793. Not too bad, we will still need to pay $500 for the anesthesiologist, and the last two ultrasounds are $500 and any blood work so it will be interesting to see the grand total compared to Panama.

GTKMC

GTKMC = Getting To Know My Cervix

Me and my cervix, we're like old friends. Actually, we're BFFs. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd have such a close and personal relationship with my cervix. Ha. Heck, two years ago I wasn't really sure where my cervix was. But every day we get to know each other a little better. Ahh, TTC will make you do crazy things. And TTC will make you do things that you will never admit to your non-TTC friends. I can see the look of repulsion on their faces now! The look of "You do whhhaaatttt? But whhhyyyy?".

What I find so amazing about my body, is that everything it does is for a purpose. As a teenager, I remember discovering EWCM in my undies and being totally grossed out. I remember thinking "WTF is wrong with me?" Now the sight of EWCM gives my heart a little flutter! I have a mini celebration for myself in the bathroom, sometimes complete with fist pumps and all. Jersey Shore style. LOL. EWCM gives me the heads up that it's time to get busy with Mr. PB&J. However, when I am nearing day 21 of my cycle and there is no sight of fertile CM (like now), I find myself asking those same question I did as a teenager, "WTF is wrong with me?". Oh, the irony.

This cycle I have really stepped up my game in regards to checking my cervical position and cervical fluid. Charting is a great tool, but the biggest downfall to charting is ovulation can only be confirmed AFTER the fact. In months prior, our intercourse pattern hasn't been great around O time. Let me tell you, it's super defeating to wake up to a high temp when we didn't have sex the night before. I know OPKs are another great tool but frankly, I find them confusing. But that's another post for another time. I really need to stop being cheap and spring for some OPKs that interpret the results for me. Sometimes I become delusional and think everything is positive. Internet cheapies suck.

Anyway, checking my cervix seems to pick up where charting falls short. The clues my cervix gives me are invaluable. I am still learning how to distinguish the difference between the different types of CM. Sometimes I can't tell the difference between watery and creamy or sticky and egg white. And then when semen is thrown in the mix, forget it. I am totally confused. So I don't always record my findings if I am unsure, only if they're obvious. But I have become a pro at checking my cervical position. I do excel in that department! Whether it be high, low, soft, firm, open or closed, I got it figured out.

I am hoping that this month, my good friend (aka my cervix) will pull through and give me the much needed heads up of impending ovulation. I really could use a friend like that right now.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading :)

PB&J Bud

Full Term Update

Who'd have thunk it?

Certainly not me.

More than 2 years ago, I had no doubt I wouldn't have any trouble getting pregnant. I was however, convinced that I would have trouble STAYING pregnant. Between my mother, my aunt and my grandmother, there must have been 15-20 miscarriages between them. I was sure I would follow that line.

Then 1 year ago, I was in the midst of what would be my 1st failed IVF cycle and about to sink into a horrible depression.

Who knew that my problem would be GETTING pregnant. Not staying pregnant.

Because apparently, STAYING pregnant I can do just fine.

Which brings me to today.

Despite my AMH. Despite MFI. Despite DOR/POF. Despite MTHFR. Despite 3 fibroids. Despite all of our diagnoses and a failed IVF cycle... and in memory of our lost twin... today I am 38 weeks pregnant.


Full Term.

Holy crap.

Our appointment today was largely uneventful. My cervix remains closed, although softening. Dr Loh can feel and move the baby's head, but she says still not any lower (i'd argue that... i'm rapidly losing anything that could be considered "below my belly"). I mentioned that movement has been very minimal the last 24 hours, so I got a quickie u/s to check our fluid levels (absolutely fine). Smudge is SO big. I can't even believe how big. I remember the days when we could see the whole baby on one screen. Now you can barely see one PART on one screen. It's amazing. The arms are up by his/her face with little fists. Dr Loh says Smudge's tone is great. Knees are drawn up and yep, those are feet in my ribs... crossed at the ankles. Maybe this is a little lady after all... I guess we'll see.

We also did an impromptu non-stress test (NST) to check the heartbeat patterns. So I got to sit on the monitor listening to the most beautiful sound in the world (my baby's heartbeat) for a half hour. It was wonderful. Smudge did exactly what s/he was supposed to do... when s/he wasn't trying to run away from the probe. This kid HATES being monitored in any way. It's really funny. We've been playing chase the baby for 8 months though. Why stop now, right?

Best news of the 38 week appointment. I lost a pound! Yay - go me. So after the 36 week debacle of gaining 4 pounds in 2 weeks, then holding steady at 37 weeks, at 38 weeks I have gained 20 pounds for the pregnancy. I am very proud of myself.

So - that's all for now. I hadn't had any contractions in about 36 hours until tonight, when I had 3 in the last hour... so i'm not holding my breath, but we'll see what happens. I think it's pretty funny that since becoming pregnant, we've thought i would deliver on thanksgiving. I guess we'll see. I did pack my bag the other day. That's surely going to keep me pregnant until 42 weeks. (Unlike if I hadn't packed at all - then i probably would have delivered 2 weeks ago.)

Horray for full term. Hooray for a healthy Smudge. And most of all... hooray for the difference a year can make.

Here at 37 weeks, I'm like the post office....

... delivering the post in the rain, sleet, snow and now even in the face of a completely dysfunctional laptop.

My mother used my laptop the other day. She was waiting for the crib delivery for me while I had an appointment. I thought I was being nice by leaving it all internet ready for her. Ugh. That night it was all over. Thankfully, Mr DB is an IT manager and got right on trying to figure out what was wrong. Initially, my virus scanner found two cookie trackers and a virus, which it scrubbed... but later, a more advanced scanner found traces of a "rootkit", which apparently has some positive connotations, but not in this case.

So, i've now been without my laptop for 2 days. Hopefully I'll have it back by tomorrow morning, because I really need to do some school work.

Anyway, so here's me - on my husbands MacBook. I have no idea how to use this thing, so bear with me!

I know I said I'm like the post office - but in this case, the only thing I'm delivering at this time IS this post. As of my weekly appointment yesterday, my cervix is still closed, but softening. I am taking evening primrose oil twice a day to help that process, but like many of the "wives tales", they're not going to work until your body is ready for them too. And I'm only 37 weeks 1 day. I'm not in a big hurry. Smudge will come when s/he's ready. I've been taking my vitamin C though, to help make sure that my membranes don't rupture before i go into labor. The last thing I want to do is be watching a clock, and be given a limit on how long they'll let my labor go. As long as they stay intact, i'm good to go. Smudge is dropping though. The head is closer to my cervix than last week, so that's a bonus.

Last week was a really disappointing moment for me, when for the first time in my pregnancy, I had an uncontrollable weight gain. In 2 weeks I had gained 4 pounds, which I was horrified about. Until that point, I had been doing REALLY well. I'm blaming it on a number of things.

1. I had finally given in to some cravings, which I hadn't before at all. Oh bread - how I missed thee.
2. I wasn't as good about my water intake.
3. I was drinking a LOT of orange juice.
4. I was eating a bit too much salt.

All of those things combined did not do me any favors on the scale. But I'm THRILLED to report that although I didn't lose weight this week, I also didn't gain anything. So, i'm at 21 pounds for 37 weeks. Not horrible, I don't think. Yes, it's over my initial goal of 20 pounds for the pregnancy, but I think at this point, if I don't go over 25 i've done a really good job.

37 weeks and counting!

Meanwhile, we've been busy trying to get everything ready for the baby in the house.

The nursery is just about done. Auntie DB is coming by on sunday to help me get everything ready while Mr DB finishes a couple of projects that I would like done before the baby comes. But this is where we are right now! I still have a couple of diapers to prep, but I'm going to wait another week. A VERY generous online friend is sending me some diapers, and I'm just going to wait to wash them all together. Check out our nursery so far... we're almost done!!

Story Corner

places to hang out in the living room

diaper central

oodles of prepped diapers

our crib

So, i know this isn't a very exciting update. 37 weeks pregnant. Nothing exciting to report. Taking the EPO to try to help things along. Drinking my Red Raspberry Leaf tea to strengthen my uterus for labor. And waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

I'll leave you with this. It made my day yesterday when we got home from the doctor. In the middle of November, when everything else around it is dead and dying.... the morning after a horrid thunderstorm with damaging winds... this little guy refuses to give up and go. Sticking it out, knowing only the strongest will survive.

Stubborn Dandelion

There's a full moon this sunday.... i'm not saying anything, and I certainly won't be surprised to be just a little more pregnant on monday than I am today. But i'm a big believer in the full moon. So, I guess we'll see!