Back on track!

Aunt Flo arrived this morning!

I started experiencing some cramping yesterday. I didn't want to get too excited since my body is notorious for playing tricks. However when the cramping continued, I knew AF was about to make her grand appearance. I was SO excited when I saw a small amount of red on the toilet paper late yesterday afternoon. I was never able to miscarry on my own, and it was beginning to look like I would need Provera to help me get my first period after the d & c. It is such a relief knowing my body is getting back to normal.

And to think- I was prepared to have bloodwork done tomorrow in order to have my RE prescribe me Provera so that we could move on toward the FET. It just proves that I need to be more patient. Everything is in His hands. I'm going to stop doubting that everything will work out. He is in control.

Mr. Bossy and I are one step closer. I can feel it in my bones!!

Bossy Bud

When it rains....

It pours! [Ironically, it's raining in Central Florida this very moment.]

Still no period. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Nothing.

Good news- I'll have to take a blood test to rule out a pregnancy in order for my RE to prescribe me Provera. I can have my blood drawn locally and do not have to drive an hour just to give blood! It's looking like I'll be doing this on Monday.

Bad news- I'll have to take Provera for 10 days. It then can take up to 7-10 days after my last pill for my period to arrive. I still have to get one more period after that for my RE to allow to do a FET. So much for starting in February. Bummer.

To help make matters worse. Mr. Bossy is being laid off at the end of the month. His company told him over a year ago that they were phasing out his department. There was a chance he could interview for a different position in a different department. He's since gone on three interviews and hasn't received a job offer. His last day will be the last day of this month.

We have a Plan B. He originally started as a temp with this company. After a few months, he was offered a permanent position. The company is currently going through some budget cuts and would prefer to not have to pay benefits on so many employees. Instead, they'd like to hire more temps. Mr. Bossy is hoping to return to the company as a temp and then squeeze back through the company's doors.

We're scared beyond belief. If he has to be unemployed for a month or two, we'll survive financially (it will be tight, though). I'm torn about doing our FET. Since AF hasn't arrived yet, it's looking like we won't be able to begin until March at the earliest. The FET is already paid for since we went through the Attain Program, but I'm still concerned.

Do we still go through with the FET even if Mr. Bossy doesn't have a permanent position? We're not getting any younger and quite frankly, I'm tired of waiting around. Mr. Bossy wanst to proceed, and my heart is saying the same. My stupid head is the one I'm arguing with.




Bossy Bud

I Haz a Plan

Image Source
It's not an evil plan, but look at that kitteh! I wuv it.

Anyways

My temp spiked, which I'm ignoring, because that's what you do to things who only want attention. I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt only because my cheap-o HPT's haven't arrived from Amazon yet. When they do, if my temp hasn't indicated O, I'll test, get a little weapy over the BFN, and fill my prescription for Provera.


That should start Cycle 4, and with it, implementation of The Plan. The Super Awesome Cherry Bud Pregnancy Attainment Plan.

The Plan

1. Ordered 40 OPK's from Amazon this morning. I figure I'll start using them around CD 14 and go from there. I'm still a little confused about these. Do you use them as soon as you see fertile CM? Or do you just pick a day and start POAS-ing? It's a confusing world.

2. Green Tea. Drink it. I have a bunch at home, I just forget to drink it. Always.

3. Vitex. I'm buying the smallest possible bottle tonight and crossing my fingers that it doesn't turn me into a crazy person. I mentioned awhile back that Provera turns me into Ted Bundy. What I didn't mention is that I wasn't surprised. My emotions are apparently in a very rickety balance, and a hormonal difference one way or the other turns me into a kaleidoscope of nuts. The point of this is that I'm giving the Vitex a chance, as it is (apparently) a fertility wonderment. We'll see how it goes. If my posts become mentally unbalanced in the next few weeks, you'll know why.

4. BD-ing. We're ok at this, actually. So I guess we'll just keep up the good work and stuff.

Sweet Thing Mr. Cherry Bud said this week: "So....you said your temp went up...or down...something good...how did....how did that work out for you?" He's trying so hard, and I love him for it.

It's about that time...

It's CD 53, and while I did have fertile CM this week, my chart will be happy to show you that, for me, this is clearly not a sign of anything at all.

So it's time to start thinking about ending this cycle. Dr. Baggins gave me a Provera prescription with directions to go ahead and induce my period if I went past 60 days. For some reason, this is incredibly difficult for me to think about. Every time I start thinking about getting the prescription filled, a voice in my head says "But what if CD 60 is the day you're going to ovulate?"

I know I could do that forever, and drive myself strait into a 100 day cycle, simply by saying "But what if O day is tomorrow?" I want so badly for my body to do things on its own, especially since, as I said last time, I know that it can.

It's been a frustrating week

Introducing Cherry Bud!

Hello All!

My name (as it were) is Cherry Bud. Mr. Cherry Bud and I have been married since May 2009. We enjoyed being newlyweds, but tiny little cherry babies were always in the back of our minds. We both love children, you see. Mr. Cherry Bud opened the conversation of our third date with the words "I think you should know. I want six kids". I told my mother at age three that I wanted quintuplets. Our reproductive dreams were so well-known, and our supposed future children considered such a sure thing, that, a month before my wedding, my sisters in law bestowed upon me two bins of maternity clothes. Big ones. We are, without a doubt, "baby people".

When we had been married about six months, we had "the conversation", and pronounced 2011 "The Year of the Baby". By March of 2010, however, we found that our goals of being debt-free were closer to being realized that we had thought. We happily moved the date to June 2010, then to April 2010. I went to my Pre-TTC appointment with visions of onesies and layette sets dancing in my head.

Then my doctor (Who looks fantastically like a hobbit. To a nerd like me, having Bilbo Baggins as a doctor is a dream come true) said a troubling stream of words, among them "Abnormal", "Worrisome", and "Clomid", none of which are nice to hear on their own, let alone all in one sentence. Because of my atypically long and irregular cycles, he was worried that I wasn't ovulating quite as often as we would like, or at all.

Awesome.

He gave us the green light to TTC, but said that if I went past a 60-day cycle, I needed to give his office a call so that we could "discuss" our "options".

My first cycle off BCP was a dreamboat of a cycle. Beautiful temp rise at day 23, nice long luteal phase. I was ecstatic. Even AF's arrival couldn't derail my good mood. I was convinced that with such a reassuring first cycle, there was no way we could have anything but an easy conception. Wrong.

My next cycle arrived, and liked the scenery so much that it stayed. For 82 days. 82 days of temps hovering around 97.4. No O. No perfect luteal phase. No BFP and no AF. Doctors were phoned, sweet nurses called me "dear", and Provera was prescribed. Provera, FYI, makes me crazy. In a Ted Bundy kind of way. I yelled at my husband for calling me beautiful. No lie.

On the bright side, the Provera worked like a charm, and CD1 arrived again. Our next step is Clomid, to be discussed with Dr. Baggins on August 11.

Being a mother, is, as 1953 as it sounds, the biggest dream I have ever had. This journey will be, I can already tell, one that I will enable me to look at my new baby and tell them "We tried so hard for you, and now you are here, and we love you". I cannot wait for that moment. For now, I am content to be in love with Mr. Cherry Bud, who is as anxious to count tiny toes as I am, and who occasional brings home baby socks from Target, sheepishly telling me that they were "just so cute. And only a dollar!". Thank you for being a part of this story with us. Here;s hoping and praying for a happy ending!

Hugs,

Cherry Bud

No update so far!

Just cruising along on the hormone therapy. I am on 25 days of Premarin and then on days 13-25, I take Provera. I start the Provera today.

Only thing going on is I'm terrified to have sex. We are clear to have sex now and I tried and had to stop and shook like a leaf for about an hour afterward. I'm afraid of bleeding and pain. Hopefully I get over that sometime soon...

Back to the RE on July 15 for my followup and discuss what our TTC course of action will be now. Hopefully it won't involve anymore surgeries!

Survived surgery!

There hasn't been much to update until now. I was on birth control pills to prevent possible hemorrhage from my heavy periods.

Went in for surgery at 8am on Wednesday. The nurses and doctors at the surgery center are VERY nice! One girl was a student and they asked permission for her to watch the procedure and I had no problem letting her watch. Everyone has to learn! And the doctor told her it was going to be a very interesting procedure with all that I had going on. Possible removal of right tube, left ovary and left tube. Definite removal of cysts and fibroid.

The IV hurt really badly going in and I barely remember being knocked out. I remember them putting a mask on my face and telling me to take deep breaths (they did anesthesia via mask AND IV) and next thing I remember is being told to calm down and that everything was okay. I, apparently, was having a hard time coming out of anesthesia. I didn't do well last time I was put under either.

Wheeled into recovery where I was given a shot of Fentanyl which helped the pain (which was pretty severe) for a brief moment and made me very woozy. The pain came back pretty quickly and they gave me another shot of Fentanyl. Again, woozy and brief respite from the pain. After a bit, they had me get up and get dressed. This made me start vomiting and very nauseous so they gave me some Zofran. Another shot of Fentanyl until they could be sure I'd be able to keep down the Percocet pill they had for me.

Finally, my doctor came over to talk to us about the surgery. He found that my uterus had attached to the abdominal wall. He showed us a ton of pictures and that was by far the coolest picture he had. So he separated the uterus from my abdomen and said that was a fairly easy procedure. Drained and removed all the cysts (there were 4 on my left ovary and 1 on my right). Removed the fibroid which was HUGE. The pictures were insane. Dr. P was pretty impressed with the size of the thing as well. That took him most of the time in surgery, which actually ran longer than the 2 hours allotted for it. But he got it ALL. All that is left of it is a black scab which he said endometrial tissue will grow over it.

And on to the tube/ovary news....

My tubes and ovaries were perfectly healthy and fine!!! There was no blockage on my right tube. Just a little flap of tissue that he easily removed. There is no damage to either tube at all. My left ovary was only 1.5 times the size of a normal one so it definitely shrunk a great deal (thank you devil pills!). But he said he had no reason to remove any of them and that they are in great condition and looking very healthy!!!

I literally burst into tears with relief. I was shocked by this news because he had prepared me going into surgery that I could wake up with ONLY my right ovary. Every time, he opened his mouth, I swear it was like heaven and goodness flowed out!

I've had a pretty rough recovery so far. MUCH worse than surgery in February. I've been beyond blessed by Mr. Sunflower Bud. He's being incredible and taking such awesome care of me. He has to help me up and down out of bed and to the bathroom. He's been shooing the cats out of the bedroom (they want to cuddle up ON my stomach for some reason) and keeping Little Sunflower Bud out of the house as much as possible (she's in major Mommy phase and wants to climb all over me).

From the time I got home, I was literally asleep for 2 hours, awake for 20 minutes, asleep for 2 hours, awake for 20 minutes, etc. Woke up a lot during the night Wednesday night because I was itching so badly. Could not get with it at all all day Thursday. I made it down to the couch for about 40 minutes before I was asking to go back to bed. I couldn't look at my laptop because it made me ill for some reason. When I worked up the courage to get in the shower yesterday afternoon, I discovered that I was covered in hives!!! No wonder I was so itchy!

Turns out, I'm allergic to Percocet. What a sad sad allergy that is. Who wants to be allergic to such a wonderful narcotic? :( Called the doctor and he called in Darvocet and told us to flush the rest of the Percocet and that I'd have to note that on all allergies from now on (boooo). Started taking the Darvocet last night around 6pm and holy cow, what a difference!!! Knocked me out at first but when I woke up, I actually felt human. No more itching (thank you Benadryl!) and I was actually lucid and able to sit on the couch long enough to watch a movie and get on the laptop for a little while. I even slept 7 hours straight last night without waking up to itch! And I was able to eat a whole entire meal last night. I could barely nibble on toast throughout the day on the Percocet.

I go back to see Dr. P in 6 weeks to discuss what's next. It's funny... having been faced with IVF being our only option, doing IUI's just seems like pennies and dimes! I'm fairly certain that IUI is on our plate but the only question will be if it's medicated or unmedicated. Either way, the costs are certainly not as daunting now as it was when we were focused on affording IVF.

I'm on a hormone therapy schedule to build up my lining:
25 days on Premarin, 5 days off, 25 more days of Premarin
Days 13-25 of both months, take Provera

Just 2 months of healing and hormone therapy before we can get back to TTC! I am PSYCHED. I'm so getting pregnant this year. Spring 2011 looks like a lovely time to have a baby, don't you think?

I got CH!

It looks like the Provera last cycle may have gotten my body back into gear. I'm currently 3DPO with great timing. Take a look at my chart:


Compared to my 84 day cycle, this is a beautiful thing!

I'm trying to keep myself in check and not get too excited so that I don't have a big letdown if I get a BFN. I can't help but to hope that this is our month, though.

FF's pregnancy monitor is not helping at all. "If you conceived this cycle your due date would be: 10/09/2010." That's 3 days after my birthday. Talk about the best birthday gift, ever.

FF recommends that I wait until 18DPO since I have no previous cycles to compare my LP with.

Yeah, right. I haven't decided how long I'll wait, but I can promise you it won't be 18DPO.

Here's hoping!

CD1

AF finally showed up on New Years Eve after 84 days. It was definitely a welcome visit, and I actually said that I expected her to show up that particular day before I even started the Provera.

I'm not sure if it's just because I haven't had AF symptoms in so long, or if it's the Provera, but this is definitely a rough start to a cycle for me. My cramps are much more intense and constant than usual.

The next week or so of temps will show whether the Provera jump started my cycles back to normalcy or not. I definitely hope so. I'm taking my TTC journey one step at a time. I'm not going to get wrapped up in BFP thoughts until my cycle is more normal. Right now, I'm only concerned with getting my body to ovulate.

Today is my first day back to work after having 2 long weekends off for the holidays, and I also go back to school this week. Which means- back to my normal, stressful life. I am hoping it doesn't have a negative effect on my cycles.

Other than that, I had a great holiday break! My niece and nephew came in from Texas and kept me very, very busy. We did a ton of shopping, went to a Pistons game (courtside) and got front row Lions tickets. Here is a picture of my niece and I at Hard Rock Cafe before the Lions game:




Mr. Sassy Bud really likes to spoil the kids! I'm sure he won't be as bad when it's our own child, so I let him enjoy it for now. We also had a great New Years Eve party. We invited a few people over to see our amazing new basement setup and I made a ton of food.

That's all for now. Let's hope I O soon!

Good News & Unanswered Questions

Yesterday I had an ultrasound to see if they could determine the cause of my extremely long cycles. I'm currently at CD 84, 4 days past my last dose of Provera, with no sign of AF.

I was a little nervous, as I've never had an ultrasound before. The first part of the process was the transabdominal ultrasound. This one was no big deal, except for the 48 ounces of water I had to hold in for an hour before my appointment. Can we say uncomfortable?! I have a very small bladder and I did not enjoy this at all. The U/S tech was very kind and time efficient with this part so that I could empty my bladder for the second half of the exam.

Next she did the transvaginal ultrasound. Reading the description/seeing pictures of it was much worse than it sounds. See what I mean:

Photo Credit

Basically they just take a look around internally. It was not at all painful or uncomfortable. All I cared about at that point was that I didn't have to pee anymore!

I had the U/S done at an outpatient center because it is much closer to work than my Ob/Gyn office. So I had to wait until today to call for the results. I was also still waiting on the bloodwork results from my last appointment on December 18th. Well, the nurse just called. Here is what she said:

Ultrasound:

• Uterus- looks great
• Ovaries- also great
• No other issues spotted on U/S

Bloodwork:

• Thyroid- normal range
• Hormones- normal range
• No other issues in b/w

So, this is great news! I really am relieved that there seem to be no issues at all with my body.

But, why have I not seen AF in 84 days? Is the Provera even going to work? Why am I not ovulating?

My doctor is out of the office until Tuesday, but the nurse said she will be calling me then, so I will have to ask her what she thinks. Best case scenario- AF shows, and my cycles become normal. Here's hoping!

Hi from Worry Bud!

Hi everyone! Worry Bud here - I am the founder and co-admin of Bloomin' Babies & I am sooo happy we are finally able to bring our stories to all the readers that happen across our blog! As I mentioned in my welcome, it is my hope that each of the Buds' stories touches someone reading this. If you are TTC, I am willing to bet $$ that you will relate to at least one of the Bud's story in some way.

I am very much a beginner in this here TTC journey - but let's not get ahead of ourselves here, let me tell you a little about myself. I am a 20-something newlywed living in the DC Area & working in contracts for the federal government. MY DH - Mr. Worry Bud (WB) is also a 20-something & we are soo in love!

Mr. WB & I met thru a mutual friend in college back in November 2002...we quickly became an item in December 2002 & are about to celebrate 7 years as a couple soon! After getting a dog together, buying a house, joining our bank accounts, etc. we finally got married this past March - the day was a long time coming & all that we ever hoped for!

We always knew we wanted little ones, but were MAJOR flip-floppers on when we wanted to start TTC...first it was a year after tying the knot, then 6 months, then immediately & eventually we settled on 4 months - July 2009. Well we didn't really settle on it, one day I came home (after getting yet another notification from one of my friends that she was KU - we are all at THAT age) & I told Mr. WB that I didn't want to wait any longer...I wanted a baby & I wanted to get started right away. Much to my surprise...he agreed & after 12 years on & off (mostly on) the pill, I took my last BCP on my nephew's 1st bday - June 27th! Buh bye BCPs, woot!

Being the big time planner that I am I started reading up on the best methods to get KTFU quick. To that end, I discovered a message board (on a website where I was already active on other message boards) all about getting pregnant! The ladies on the site were so knowledgeable & they all suggested that I start charting (to detect O & to best time intercourse for baby making!) & reading TCOYF. Well I did start charting & received my 1st set of CHs indicating O on FF (chart link in my profile on the top right column)...I was sooo excited! Well, 8 days later I started spotting so I figured there were 2 options, either A) I was pg & this was implantation spotting, or B) AF was about to show. Well this is where it gets all mucked up - she never did truly show...the spotting only lasted a few days & (TMI sorry) got progressively lighter - never dark & never red - more of a pinkish brown & I never needed a pad/tampon. By this time I was majorly stressing...I had taken 3 HPTs - all BFNs & still no "true" AF had showed. I called my Dr. and the nurse said to wait it out 60 days to see if she shows by then & if not then I can come in and get an Rx for Provera to get AF started back up again.

I have been off the pill before for various reasons & my cycles have always gone back to normal right away - give or take a week, but this is insane! Moral of the story - BCPs are the DEVIL - they totally messed up my cycles...I will never, ever take one ever again...and even after we have a baby I will use the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) taught in TCOYF to TTA when necessary.

*BCPs*

Well D-Day (60 days) is right around the corner now and I have decided that if AF doesn't show & I don't get a BFP by August 31st that I will be calling to get in and see the Dr. I don't want to take a drug to start my period back up, but I also don't pro-long this journey anymore than necessary & my mom told me that she has had to take Provera before & after getting her period from Provera, her cycles went back to normal...and she conceived my little brother & sister after that!! For all those TTC & just starting out just know that I understand & feel your pain - we have all these worst-case scenario thoughts racing thru our minds all the time: What's wrong with me/my body? Am I or will I ever O? Will I be able to have a baby? What if I'm not..what then? If we have to use alternative methods to conceive what will my insurance cover? How much will it all cost? Will my husband still love me if I can't give him a child? But I have been praying for patience and faith that we will have a child one day soon & it has really calmed my heart.

So, that's me in a nutshell & I probably shouldn't be worrying about all this stuff so early in the game, but I'm such a planner/worrier (hence my name) that I can't help but think of all these things. I have never been so anxious to actually get my period, but at this point I just want it to come so I can move on to cycle 2/3 (still debating w/ myself as to whether CD 28-31 spotting was actually AF)?? Hoping (as I'm sure we all are) that my journey is not a long one & putting faith in God that He will make it happen for our family!!