Spent $600 in 5 minutes!

Hi Buds and Bud readers! Long time, no see. I've been trying to stay away from all things baby for awhile but wanted to submit a quick report.

I had my $600 out-of-pocket hysteroscopy today, just to confirm that my uterus isn't scarred shut or some other nightmare diagnosis. I am happy to report that it looked flawless! I am not happy to report that I wasn't told to take Ibuprofen beforehand and this time it hurt like hell. But it was totally worth it to confirm that my uterus is in good shape for our upcoming frozen embryo transfer.

Speaking of which, I started Lupron last night. I am also on BCPs (for now) and my suppression check is on November 18. I'll begin estrogen patches and supps shortly thereafter. So now it's hurry up and wait until December 17. We will definitely be thawing and transferring 2 this time. Assuming all goes well, we'll still have 3 frosties left for another cycle.

Will get caught up on the Bud reports this weekend.
Take care everyone!

Golden Bud

Started Stims

Yesterday I went to the RE for my suppression check. Ovaries, lining, and bloodwork were all good and they had me start my stimulation meds last night.

I am taking Follistim, Novarel, and Lupron. I am not having a good time with the side effects so far. I was up all night with pretty severe pain in my left breast. Hopefully this passes quickly. Taking 3 shots a night is not all that fun either. I have a lot of bruising on my stomach. At least no one else will see it. Now that the complaining is out of the way, I STARTED STIMS!!!! Things are moving quickly. Hopefully ER is soon!

My next monitoring appointment is in 2 days. I'll update with our progress.

IVF Update: BCP & Lupron

I feel like my pre-IVF cycle is moving right along!

I am on my 3rd and final week of BCP. The first few days I felt completely fine on it. Then I became an emotional mess for another few days. I think my body has finally gotten used to it. I feel totally normal now!

I started Lupron 5 days ago. Lupron is taken as an injection to my stomach. The first few injections were uncomfortable. The needle itself didn't hurt but the injection site stung for about 15 minutes after. I figured out that if I pinch the skin before putting in the needle and then let go of the skin before I pull it out, the Lupron doesn't leak out at all, which is what I think was causing the pain. Mr. Sassy Bud did my first injection, but he got home late the second night so I did my own. It was actually really easy and I prefer doing it myself. I never thought I would be able to give myself an injection so I am proud of that. I have heard some pretty nasty side effects from Lupron, but so far I haven't had any. I do my injection right before bed and feel totally fine in the morning.

On Sunday I go in for a suppression check. This is to make sure that the BCP and Lupron are doing their jobs. A few days after that I start my stimulation meds, while continuing the Lupron. I can't believe how quickly everything is happening. I should be all finished with my IVF cycle, including betas, by the end of this month.

A good CD1

Typically CD1 is a letdown where all your waiting and hoping for the cycle comes crashing down. This CD1 is different for me. It marks the beginning of my first IVF cycle!



I'm going to try to explain the IVF process as I go through it in a way that is understandable to those who have never been through it, so if I seem to "dumb it down" a little, that's why. This pic gives a general idea of the process, although in our case the egg and sperm go through a little different process. Because of our MFI, the RE will be fertilizing them.

Photo Credit

When I met with the RE, they told me to call on CD1 to schedule CD3 blood work. I will be going to the RE this Thursday to do the blood work, and I think they may do a transvaginal ultrasound then too. At that point I believe I also start BCP's. The purpose of the BCP is to suppress my natural cycle until they are ready to stimulate. A few weeks after I start BCP I also take a drug called Lupron which is part of the suppression process.



I am on BCP & Lupron for a total of 3 weeks. Once I stop the BCP, I will get a withdrawal bleed and with that CD1, my IVF process begins. During the 3 weeks, Mr. Sassy Bud and I have to do infectious disease testing along with training on how to do the injections for the IVF medications. Mr. Sassy Bud will be in charge of giving me all my shots. Fortunately for me, he has no issues with needles. I'm not a huge fan of them, but you do what you have to do.

I also got all of the information as far as financing our IVF process. Our insurance covers most of the procedures and medications. I am so fortunate to have this coverage! The total OOP expense came to a little over $2k, which includes our copay of 10% of the IVF procedure, the anesthesia (which may be covered but is not billable) and the surgical supplies (also may be covered). I believe all of our meds will also be covered. The only bad news is that with this IVF we are maxing out our lifetime coverage for IF treatments. If this one doesn't work, we will be 100% OOP for any other treatments we do. That is a scary thought, and the thing that is stressing me out the most about the whole process.

So that is where we are right now. I'll be sure to update after my CD3 appointment.

No news is good news

Photo credit: Golden Bud

On Monday our donor had her suppression check. My coordinator didn't call me with the results, which I assumed to be a good sign (this time anyways). A quick email confirmed that our donor had no cysts and would be starting her stims this Friday.

I've been on Lupron and estrogen patches (the square patches weirdly known as "Dots") and am popping Tylenol daily to deal with the annoying Lupron headaches. I go in for an estrogen test this Friday. That'll be our next hurdle -- we need a good number to show that my lining is increasing. I've never had lining problems in the past, so I expect smooth sailing.

As our donor's egg retrieval draws near, I've been shopping on Etsy for donor gifts. It's common to deliver a gift for her to receive after her surgery. I'm collecting a few goodies in her favorite color (teal) and ordered a necklace that I hope she likes.

Things are pretty boring right now, but that's ok. No news is good news.


Til next time,
Golden Bud

Started Lupron... Loved Date Night

So I met with Dr. B on Wednesday and I got my official FET calender. I started Lupron yesterday and I am so thankful Freedom Fertility Pharmacy covered all of my meds including my Lovenox! I will take Lupron for a week and then start my Delestrogen injections to prepare my lining for the transfer.

Photography Credit

On a funny note, I recently saw Date Night with Tina Fey & Steve Carell and it was hilarious. With all of the stress TTC can bring it was good to just go out and get a good laugh.

Photography Credit

My next appointment with Dr. B is on Friday where Nurse S will show me how to give myself the Delestrogen shots since they are intramuscular ouch!

Until Next Time,

Lupron Evaluation - Done!

This morning I went in for my Lupron Evaluation, which consists of a blood draw & vaginal ultrasound. I got my blood drawn first & the girl doing it was really nice - it was quick & painless (only 1 vial)! Then, they had me empty my bladder & sit down and wait to be called in for the u/s. I have now had a couple vaginal ultrasounds, so this one was no biggie. My RE did this one & I love it when he does them b/c he shows me what's going on & talks to me while he's doing the check.

He checked my lining first & said it was nice & thin, which is good at this stage. Then he checked my ovaries & said they both looked awesome - no cysts or anything. When he looked at each ovary he said there were about "7 less than 10" on one side & "about 7" on the other ovary. I didn't ask, but I assumed he was referring to the number of antral follicles he observed. He said everything looked great & I should be all ready to get started stimming!! After I got dressed, I met with one of the IVF nurses & she gave me an updated IVF calendar. So, tonight I start stimming with 112.5 IU of Gonal-F & 37.5 IU of Menopur, and then continue the Lupron each morning, but reduce the dosage from 20 units to 5 each morning. I was told to await the call from my nurse after they get the b/w results, but that I should be good to get started with this meds administration schedule. I am so happy that I finally get to start stimming, but time is flying way quicker than I ever expected! I have a follow up appointment on Friday to monitor the follicle development. I'm staying positive & hopeful & continuing to pray that my body continues to cooperate & respond as it should to the drugs. Please Lord, let this be it for us. As always, I want to thank anyone thinking of or praying for us during this time!

1 down, lots to go...

This morning Mr. Worry Bud & I administered my very first injection for this IVF cycle. I'm on a protocol my RE refers to as a Luteal Lupron Protocol, so that starts with BCPs for 21 days & in the last 3 days of BCPS, I begin Lupron injections. So, that's what we did this morning. Mr. WB works from home on Tuesdays & I leave for work pretty early - around 6am. So, I woke Mr. WB up around 5:50am so that he could "wake up" & not be groggy when giving me the shot. Then, I prepared the needle for the injection, following the instructions we learned in our injection training + the handy how to guide my fertility center provides. Lupron is an injection that should be administered subcutaneously (under the skin). My nurse directed me to do the shot in 1 of 3 places: 1) towards the back (fatty) part of the upper arm, 2) the outer (also fatty) part of the thigh, or 3) in the belly. We selected to do it in the arm b/c I figured that would make it more like getting a flu shot & I get those annually, so it should be no big deal, right? Edit: Originally I wrote that the Lupron injection was a subQ shot like the flu shot, but the flu shot is not subQ, it is an intramuscular injection (thanks DB!)...we did the Lupron more towards the back of the arm.

Photo Credit

Well, I'm happy to report - we did it & honestly, I psyched myself up - woke up several times last night & early this morning a little anxious about the shot...it was not that bad at all. Felt much like a normal flu shot would. I did have a small bump of swelling at the injection site & some redness like a few minutes after the injection, but I massaged the area gently & by the time I arrived at my office, it was all better. Whew! I also started 1 baby (low dose) aspirin this morning - it helps to make your lining ready for implantation.

Last night, I made a Google calendar of all the approximate dates & medications/dosing for this cycle. It'll obviously be changing as I am monitored & I plan on updating it as necessary. So, tonight I will continue my BCPs - I have 3 more doses of this & should finish on Thursday. I will also continue to take my prenatal vitamin in the evenings. Each morning over the next week or two, I'll do the Lupron injection + baby aspirin, and wait on my period to arrive. Once it does (approximately 2/1-2/2), I am to call my nurse so that I can schedule my Lupron evaluation (1st of my monitoring appts.) & shortly thereafter, I will begin stimming. It's hard to believe that we are actually getting this cycle started!! I am continuing to pray several times a day that all of this will bring us the child we have been praying for. I see my IF Counselor tomorrow & I am looking forward to it - she is a good support system. Thanks again for all the support & prayers!

Meetings, procedures & classes, oh my!

The last two days I have been staying pretty busy gearing up for our IVF cycle. Last night I attended the IVF Support Group meeting I talked about yesterday. When I got there, I saw a couple sitting outside in the hall & when I tried them, the doors to my fertility center (different location than my normal office - same place I went for my HSG) were locked. So I rang the doorbell & the group facilitator came out to let us in, the couple sitting outside followed me in, saying they didn't realize that there was a bell to ring! Then the facilitator, who is a licensed clinical psychologist, went back to her office to grab a few things. While we were waiting for the meeting to begin, the couple & I started chatting a bit. The other couple & other lady who was attending showed up about 10 min. later & we got started! It was really great to get to talk to people in similar situations & having similar feelings about their upcoming IVF cycles. One of the ladies attending even has an estimated ER three days before me! We all exchanged information & left saying we'd keep in touch. It was seriously awesome. I have absolutely no regrets about attending & I plan on doing it again next month if I am available - for sure! I highly recommend that anyone facing IF - whether you feel like you are really having a hard time or even if you feel like you are coping with your IF pretty well - attend a support group meeting either thru your RE's office or check out RESOLVE to see if there are any group meetings in your area. Talking to other women in a situation similar to you is really very powerful & takes away a lot of the feelings of being broken & isolation that you may be feeling. (Photo Credit for above photo).

Today I had a saline sonohysterogram (SHG) & mock embryo transfer (MET). I did not realize I was even getting an SHG until I got to the office & they gave me a paper to sign agreeing to undergo the procedure. I thought it would just be a MET, but I guess my RE likes to do both at the same time to ensure there are no problems uterine problems that had not been caught. Anyways, the whole thing went by pretty quickly. He inserted the cathetar & released a little of the solution in slowly. Mr. WB was right there with me & my RE showed us where the catheter was & the solution being released in side my uterus, and also showed us the shape of my uterus & ovaries - both of which he said looked perfect! No cysts or any other problems he could identify.

After that, we headed over to the injection training class. It was very informative & we got to meet a few other couples from our center. The nurse leading it was my nurse, who I LOVE! IMO, the scariest of the shots seems to be the HCG Trigger shot, but I think I will ask my sister (a nurse) to do that one for me. If she's unavailable at the time I need it (doing it exactly on time is VERY important as it must be done 36 hours prior to retrieval), then Mr. WB can do it. We start Lupron injections on Tuesday. I can't believe we are really getting this cycle started...hard to believe that our greatest wish could become a reality in just about a month! I am hoping that everything continues to go smoothly & my body responds well to the meds. As always, thanks so much for the all the T&P (sorry I always end like this ;o), but I really do want to express my gratitude to everyone thinking of us)! (Photo Credit for above photo).

We're approved, part II & staying positive!

This week, I have been working out all of the many financial details that go along with OOP IVF. We received final approval & signed off on our $20K loan for the shared risk program. Mr. Worry Bud & I are going to pay the other $2K OOP tomorrow when I go in for my mock embryo transfer (MET) & injects training class. Now, the only other thing money-wise is completing the FSA forms for reimbursement. Usually with FSAs, they require that all services you are being reimbursed for have been rendered, but in this case I'm not sure how they are going to handle it since technically "services" could mean anywhere from 1 cycle (hopefully!) to 6...more if you count the FETs that are included in the program. The financial coordinator from my fertility center says that she has had to deal with several patients who did shared risk & used their FSA for partial reimbursement & she doubts there will be a problem. I had a few conversations with an FSA representatives before signing up & they assured me that my IVF would be covered, so I hope we don't run into any road blocks with them. Mr WB & I agreed that I, Worry Bud - an avid questioner of circumstances - will never be completely satisfied with any answer any one gives me & to just take a leap of faith that everything will work out how it should, and so that's what we did. I will be talking to our RE's financial counselor tomorrow a little more about how to get the documentation for FSA reimbursement.

Photo Credit

Tonight I am attending a free (woot!) IVF support group the counseling group that works with my fertility center is holding. I am hoping to meet other women in a similar situation & gain even more hope & confidence that this will be it for us!! Tomorrow is my MET & injects training, and we got all of my meds on Tuesday (I'll post a pic of all the meds next time). I start Lupron injections & baby aspirin next Tuesday, so in just a few short days. So far, I'm feeling good & very positive about this cycle. As I mentioned before, I am doing a lot of preparation emotionally to get through this cycle - I know it'll be tough & I definitely have my moments of being worried if it will work or not, scared & nervous about everything I will have to endure, but I am trying not to focus on those feelings right now. I am acknowledging & accepting the fact that they are there...my IF counselor I went to see last week says that those are normal feelings & that I need to just accept that there is a certain degree of uncertainty, but in the end there's nothing you can do to change that, but how much energy you put into those feelings are what matter. So I am making a conscious choice to focus my energy on being positive & reflecting on the VERY exciting possible outcome!!! Again, thank you SO much to everyone who is keeping us in their T&P during this time...it means so much to us! :o)

We're Approved!!!

Yesssssssss. One less thing to worry about: we got a letter in the mail on Friday that we have been approved for our Fertility Center's Shared Risk program!! I was told that acceptance into the program was contingent upon completion of all fertility workup screening results + your mock embryo transfer (MET). All the testing is done, but we don't do our MET until this Friday January 22nd. I guess my RE, after looking over all of our test results, spoke to the committee & they felt confident enough to approve us for the program! I am sooo happy that we know we are approved, but now we have to pay up! We owe the full $22K for the program by January 23, 2010. We plan on putting down $2K, financing the other $20K & then using both of our FSAs to immediately pay the finance company $10K back. Then we hope to pay off the remaining $10K within a year. I left a message with my RE office's financial counselor to call me tomorrow to help me apply for the loan. Mr. WB & I have always been very responsible with money & thankfully, we both have excellent credit, so I don't anticipate there being any issues getting the loan. But, of course, I'm a worrier, so I always worry until something pans out, lol.

I also got the call about shipment our my meds from the mail order pharmacy - I overestimated how much the meds would cost us OOP...they will only be about $260 including shipping! We should be receiving our meds on Tuesday. I know that we are truly very fortunate to have this Rx coverage & God willing, if this cycle gives us a little baby Worry Bud, then I plan to donate any unused meds to an internet message board that I frequent's Rx donation program.

On January 22nd, I have my MET & injection training class, so hopefully that'll help me with my fear about giving myself injections. Then, on January 26th, I start my first Lupron injection, along with baby aspirin. That's only a little over a week away & I am surprised how quickly this cycle is coming up on me! I told my mom & sister the tentative dates for our IVF cycle & my sister is SO excited! She's trying for #2 & is hoping that we are pregnant together. She is so confident that it WILL work & she's hoping for twins for the WBs! We went to Target & browsed the baby aisle; she was just so positive & enthusiastic for me, it feels good to have her in my corner.

Photo Credit

Her confidence that this cycle will work for us really lifted my spirits & I have been really positive about everything all weekend. I hope to keep this optimism going into our upcoming IVF cycle. I don't think she'll ever know how much her support means to me. And with any luck (& some divine intervention), we will both be expecting new nieces or nephews soon!

On BCPs for IVF now!

Literally hours after my last post AF arrived & the beginning of my IVF journey began! As soon as AF arrived, I called my IVF nurse. She wasn't in that day, so I called the backup nurse & left a message. The other nurse called me back in about an hour & told me everything I need to know to get this cycle started. She instructed me to start BCPs on Friday, January 8th and continue them thru Thursday, January 28th. I also scheduled my mock embryo transfer & injection training course for next Friday, January 22nd. If all goes well at the mock transfer, then I will be accepted into my center's Shared Risk program. That same day, I will plan on applying for the loan to cover the costs of my cycle(s) (after Mr. Worry Bud & I put down about $2K, it'll be just about $20K). Once we get the receipt from our Dr.'s office, we will submit it to our FSA to get reimbursed for the $10K.

Photo Credit

The nurse also sent me my IVF calendar: I start Lupron injections & baby aspirin on January 26th; my estimated Egg Retrieval (ER) is February 13th (the day before Valentines!) & my estimated Egg Transfer (ET) is February 16th (the day after my Mom's birthday & days before Mr. WB's!). I am hoping to have lots of good looking embryos on day 3 & hopefully make it to a 5-day blastocyst transfer. At our IVF consult, we discussed the risks with our RE & he agreed with our desire to transfer two embryos vs. the one he originally recommended! So, hopefully our busy month of February will end in happy birthday news for both my mom & Mr. WB!!

I also got a call from my insurance company regarding the medication prescribed for this cycle, which consists of:

• Lupron
• Menopur
• Gonal-F
• Novarel (HCG trigger)
• Azithromycin
  
• Endometrin

Photo Credit

I had to wait until Monday to get the cost of the meds from my insurance company, but I had the option of going thru another mail order pharmacy that my insurance covers & they were almost $300 cheaper! So, the estimated costs of the meds are going to cost a little under $350 including needles & shipping! I know that is it WAAAY more expensive for many other women undergoing IVF treatment, so I feel very blessed to at least have prescription coverage for the IVF drugs.

Oh & last, but not least, I am seeing an IF counselor for a one-on-one session this Friday, January 15th. I'm not sure exactly everything we will discuss, or even that sure of my expectations for the session, but I am very interested in any coping strategies she can suggest for the roller coaster of emotions that I know my upcoming IVF cycle will bring. My clinic also has a FREE IVF support group meeting next Thursday & I am considering attending that. I just want to make sure that I am emotionally as ready as possible since I believe that the mind-body connection is a very important & often overlooked component of IF treatment. That's all I got for now...thanks for all the thoughts & prayers - please keep 'em coming!

Monitoring Update #92347596: I'm SO not getting cancelled

I knew IVF was going to be a roller coaster of experiences and emotions - but I wasn't prepared for the extremes of it all.

Two days ago, i walked out of the RE's office crying hysterically - trying to prepare myself for the possibility of this cycle being canceled. Follicles not responding. Lining steady at 8mm.

But it was only day 9 - and what did i know about how long this might take. They expected me to respond immediately, since I don't have a diagnosis other than MFI. (I still think they oversuppressed me with the BCPs and Lupron - but that's another post.)

All i know is - i haven't left the RE's office smiling in a long time. It feels like years.

It was today.
My lining is up to 14mm in the trilaminar pattern (the three layers needed for implantation)! I still have 6 growing follicles - my two lead ARE MATURE(!!!) at 19mm and 18mm. (There's also a 15mm, 2 @ 14mm and 1 at 13mm, along with 6 labeled "small".)

All i know is the lining would NOT be growing if there wasn't abundant estrogen and i am SO not being canceled!!!!

Keep the juju coming, girls... it's working.

Update: Follie Check #1

I had my first follicle check this morning.

My lining is at 5mm and is still homogeneous. I was concerned about this, because at my suppression check it was 7mm. I didn't understand why it would get thinner. The RE that did my US this morning (not Dr Z but his associate Dr B) said that since I still had my period at my US and spotted for another 2 days following, that my lining would get smaller because of that and it will likely start growing from here. I'm very comfortable with his explanation, but I'm going to start drinking my pomegranate (pom) juice anyway, to try to fluff up my lining.

My follicles seemed good too... on the right, I had 5 small follicles, unsized, with a lead follicle at 11mm and another at 10mm. On the left I had 5 small follicles. Dr B said that it is okay for now and that today's visit was mostly to make sure I wasn't moving too fast. I also had blood checked today for my estrogen levels (E2).

Well - my follicles might have looked okay for a first US, but we're guessing that my E2 was in the tank. I got the call around 3:30pm.

They're stopping the lupron (the suppressant) and DOUBLING my menopur and gonal-f (the stims). So, of course, I was concerned that they think i'm over suppressed now. However, the great ladies on the infertility forum convinced me that everything is going to be okay - it's probably a reaction to my low E2 (which will rise as my follicles get bigger). The ladies say I probably just need a jump start to get the party started.

So, now my protocol is, 150 units of Gonal-F in the mornings and at night 150 units of Gonal-F and 2 vials of Menopur.

My next US and E2 check will be saturday morning at 7am.

Until then, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.... follicle wishes and thick lining dreams.

Suppression Check, checked!!

I got to the RE at 7:30am for the monitoring cattle call, where it's first come first served from 7-8:15 for blood work and vagcams. Considering that I didn't get out of there until 9:45, i think next time, i'll be there right at 7. Maybe even a few minutes before. Might be rough, considering it's almost 40 minutes away, but I was almost late for work this time, and don't want to take that chance again.

Anyway - the update.

I took my first shot in my leg today, previously i've been doing them all in my arms. starting monday, i'll be taking 4 injections daily. I needed more options than my arms. And since it seems that my RE is more strict than some others, i can't take them in my abdomen. The leg shot hurt, but at least i'll be able to do them myself.

Bloodwork (bw)
I don't know if I'll even find out the results of the blood work this time, but I really don't care yet. I'll want to know my estrogen (E2) levels and progesterone (P4) levels as time goes on.

Ultrasound (us)
We're very happy about my vagcam results. My IVF Nurse (F) did it this time, rather than Dr. Z, so the eyes on the US were different. She also had a much lighter tough, and wasn't looking for things as aggressively as he does. 10 days ago, Dr Z saw 14 antral follicles. F saw 11. I'm okay with that. She said the most important thing is that there's obvious activity in both ovaries. The other great news is my endometrial lining. It measured 7mm. F said that is a great starting point. Apparently they like to see lining from 8mm-13mm for implantation, and I'm well on my way to that point. It's also homogeneous, which means it's one layer right now. Eventually, they'll want to see it at three layers for implantation to occur.

Stimulation Protocol
So, here we are... i'm ready to start cranking these follies out! Sunday morning, I'll reduce my Lupron dosage by half to 10 units (and hopefully lose these migraines in the process). Then, sunday night, I'll take 150 units of Gonal-F and 1 vial of Menopur.

Monday starts my new schedule:
In the morning:

• Gonal F 75 units
• Lupron 10 units
  

At night:

• Gonal F 75 units
• Menopur 1 vial
  

My next monitoring appointment will be thursday morning. My dosages may be adjusted based on the bloodwork results and the ultrasound that day.

Thanks for all of the continued good wishes and T&P. With your support, I might just get through this.

The meds giveth, the meds taketh away....

I was SO happy! FINALLY, after 5 weeks, these ridiculous boobs were starting to feel a little better. They're still larger than life but at least the pain is going away. I was starting to feel a LITTLE more like myself. Still overwhelmingly emotional, but not the lethargic slug that i've been. Just a little more tired than usual.

So happy that I was able to stop taking the BCPs on thanksgiving.

But now... hello Lupron side effects. It's your turn.

The migraine that I attributed to my first BCP period (i forgot that i was going to get one) is now CLEARLY not from my period or the BCPs. I've had migraines now every day for the past 3 days. I haven't had a migraine in almost 3 years. That combined with the dizziness and the crazy dreams I've been getting every time the headaches come tells me it's Lupron's turn.

I've taken some tylenol here and there. I've actually added the tiniest bit of caffeine back into my diet because caffeine can help with headaches. And it IS helping (i'm putting maybe 2-3 oz of caffeinated coffee in my decaf once a day).

Mr. DB keeps saying he hopes we have multiples so I don't have to go through this again. Too bad for him, i keep telling him that being pregnant once might not be enough for me.

I don't know why he keeps laughing.

Meanwhile - 2nd med teaching tomorrow afternoon. I'll post the rest of my protocol when I get home. Monitoring appointment with bloodwork and vagcam on Friday at 7am. Stims start sunday... with us luck and stay tuned...

Until then, follicle wishes and thick lining dreams.

Welcome to the wonderful world of Side Effects... up first: GI upset

So, I just started week 6 on the devil pills (AKA BCPs). I'm taking comfort knowing that the side effects I've been having on the pill are almost over. I will take my last pill on thursday. "On this Thanksgiving, I am thankful I won't have to take ANY more BCPs."

photo credit

So far, the wonderful side effects I've been having on the BCPs include: TERRIBLE breast pain (I am 36FF and I have been sleeping in an underwire bra... taking it off even for a shower has been awful) and itchiness because they're getting BIGGER!!!!, mood swings to make Lindsey Lohan look stable, i'm crying at everything and i haven't had skin this bad since I was about 14. Let's not forget the complete lack of interest in sex. Poor Mr. DB.

Now I'm taking the Lupron. A little shot, which is honestly not that bad at all (not nearly as bad as the PIO -Progesterone in Oil- will be). Each morning, DH does his job - goes downstairs, gets it out of the fridge and shoots me up before he gets in the shower. We're alternating arms. It stings a little, but no bruising so far, and we only saw blood once.

photo credit

Interestingly, the only FDA approved uses of Lupron are for prostate cancer (!!!) and precocious puberty. However, ovarian function suppression falls under it's off label uses.

These are the recorded side effects of Lupron:

• bone pain
• Swelling, Rapid Weight Gain
• pain, burning, stinging, bruising, or redness where the medication was injected
• feeling like you might pass out
• Urinating more often than usual
• sudden headache with vision problems, vomiting, confusion, slow heart rate, weak pulse, fainting, or slow breathing.

Rare but serious side effects may include:

• pain or unusual sensations in your back
• numbness, weakness, or tingly feeling in your legs or feet
• muscle weakness or loss of use
• loss of bowel or bladder control

Less serious Lupron side effects may include:

• acne, increased growth of facial hair
• dizziness, weakness, tired feeling
• hot flashes, night sweats, chills, clammy skin
• nausea, diarrhea, constipation, stomach pain
• skin redness, itching, or scaling
• joint or muscle pain
• vaginal itching or discharge
• breast swelling or tenderness
• testicle pain
• impotence, loss of interest in sex
• depression, sleep problems (insomnia), memory problems
• redness, burning, itching, or swelling where the shot was given

"This is not a complete list of side effects and others may occur." Oh, great.

The bolded items are the ones I'm ALREADY experiencing from the BCPs. How happy does this make me? I guess these symptoms aren't going away any time soon.

For now, the good news is that I get to stop taking the BCPs on thursday. And in less than a month, they'll be retrieving what I hope is LOADS of eggs from my ovaries while I am completely unconscious and while DH is "providing his sample" in another room.

There is something completely wrong with this entire process. But as long as I get my baby - i don't care.

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Is that wrong too?

Finally.... Game On

This past friday, my 13x13 box of medications arrived!


Wednesday afternoon, Mr. DB and I had a visit to the RE. I knew we were going to learn about our first medications... and possibly having an internal ultrasound as well. Dr. Z wanted to check my ovaries, make sure they were at rest (since I've just started week 5 of the devil BCPs). He told me that my ovaries are behind my uterus (of course it is, why wouldn't it be?), but that wouldn't be a problem. It just makes them a little bit harder to see. And then he looked at my antral follicle count. According to this link I found, I have pretty good numbers. He saw at least 7 antral follicles on each ovary. So, based on that link - i'm in pretty good shape.

So - the plan....

Yesterday, i started taking baby aspirin, which I will continue to take daily, through 12 weeks of pregnancy.

Tomorrow morning, at 7:30, I start Lupron injectibles in the backs of my arms (apparently I'm too fat to take them anywhere else, thanks). I will continue these injections through December 6th, when the dosage will be dropped by half.

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On thanksgiving, I get to take my last devil pill. No worries - the lupron should be giving me plenty of side effects by then!

On december 3rd, we get to go back to Dr. Z for another med teach, and the following morning, I get to go in for another vagcam date, to check how well the lupron has been suppressing my ovaries.




December 6th, I start my stims.







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Over the next 10 days, I will have 4 shots daily and will likely have 5-6 visits to Dr. Z's office at 7am for blood work monitoring and vagcam ultrasounds.

Sometime between december 16-18, I will have my egg retrieval. Looks pleasant, right? Can someone tell me how it's fair that I have to go through ALL of this, and Mr. DB gets to just "provide a sample"?

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Then depending on the numbers, how well they fertilize and divide and the quality of our embryos, 3-5 days following my retrieval, we'll have our transfer.

It seems crazy.... but we could potentially find out that we're having a baby on New Years Eve.


I can't believe after all that we've been through... this is finally here.