CD16

Well, nothing too much to report on. FF shows that I O'd on CD12 - Monday the 9th. (Today is Friday the 3th) At the time, I had gotten a postive OPK on that Sunday the 8th. On that Monday morning, I got a negative OPK and a Peak reading on my CBEFM. I really do think I O'd that day b/c I got a pain in my left ovary that only lasted for about 10 secs. We BD'd at about 10pm on Monday night. I really really hope we didnt do it too late- considering eggs "could" only last 12 hours. Please pray that we timed it perfectly.

-Buckeye Bud

I Love You Snooki. I Hate You Snooki. I Love You Snooki.

Sorry I havn't posted in a while. I've just been really down lately. There are so many lucky women announcing their pregnancies that it just makes me feel so hopeless. I'm pretty sure I counted 13 women on my FB in the past three months makes their announcements. EVEN FRIGGIN SNOOKI IS KNOCKED UP (for the record, I effing love her)! It's bittersweet. I can't imagine living a life where this wasn't on my mind 24/7.

Don't get me wrong, I am SO happy that these women can experience this joy. But I sometimes imagine what my life would be like if I knew for sure this was never going to happen for me. And to be honest, it really does mess with your will to live. I'm a woman and it's my job to make and raise babies and the thought that this may never happen kills my spirit. But I won't give up....the hope is all I have to hold onto. On paper, it seems I have so many things worked out. My 4 pregnancy losses have been explained (so they say). But then in the back of my mind those aren't concrete answers so I'm left thinking.....what if these reasons weren't what caused them like they think.

My PCOS being discovered gave me hope for a minute. But then it faded because I study my Fertility Friend Chart probably 10X a day. It was my understanding that with PCOS a lot of women don't ovulate. Which is why I thought I wasn't getting KU. But According to my OPK's and several of my charts I do show that I ovulated (temp spike). That then leads me to think that maybe my hormones are saying I ovulated but the egg was never actually released. Then I start thinking, "well maybe it's Mr. BB!" Or maybe it's my CM. Maybe the consistency is off! AHhh what a mess I have going on inside my own mind. I need out.....but a break is not even an option in my world.

So that's where I'm at emotionally. Physically, I'm doing so so. I am currently on my 4th week of Glumetza (Metformin). I am at 1500mg each day and I'm not sure when I will be able to add in another 500mg. Week 1 was fine with 500mg. Then on week 2 I started at 1000mg. That's when I started to get insanely nauseous and my appetite dimished. I got brave 10 days later and started the 1500mg. I still feel nauseous but not as badly as before. I've noticed that about an hour after I eat (no matter what I eat) I feel SO hungry again. WTF?! I thought this was supposed to help me lose weight?! Nothing at all sounds good to eat but then I'm starved at the same time. This is bullshit if ya ask me. I'm hoping it's just a temporary side effect and will go away once I hit 2000mg's a day. We'll see.

Here are some of my other updates:

CD 3-7 I took my fertility med Femara (alternate to Clomid) each day for these 5 days.
CD 8-9 ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor stated Low Fertility.
CD 10- ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor stated High Fertility. Increase in CM. Did the BD.
CD 11- ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor stated High Fertility. Increased CM. Positive OPK.

I feel well equipped.....so beat it AF.....I don't wanna see your ugly mug anymore for a while! However, if that bish does decide to come this month, I have plans to get some PreSeed Sperm Friendly Lubricant. I get SO burnt out on the BD by day2 that my poor vajay get's tired! (LOL...sorry TMI). Maybe then Mr.BB's little swimmers will be more apt to hang around for a longer period of time up there. THEN, in 2 months, if that doesn't work, Mr. BB has to throw in the towel, swallow his pride, and go get tested himself. In the meantime, I will continue to take my synthetic folic acid, 81mg of Asprin, Glumetza, and my NeevoDHA prenatal.

So that's where I'm at and that's our plan Stan. I'll keep everyone updated on this CBEFM and if it matches up with my FF chart.

Lets Get It On

So today I went to my chiropractor for an adjustment and a session of deep tissue massage therapy like I always do. I initially began seeing a chiro to to improve my chances of conceiving (I read somewhere this helps with fertility). So I had my adjustment and all went as usual. The massage therapist I had never seen before was to work with me for an hour. A very talkative lady who I ended up finding out was also a REIKI therapist. Now, let me add that I have been willing to try anything to get knocked up. I did acupuncture back in the summer which happened to lead me to find out about the tubal pregnancy I had. That is another story for another day. So let me continue.
So Kathy (Reiki Therapist) isn't technically allowed to promote Reiki but she chooses to incorporate it into her massages. So that's what she did with me. I didn't know this until I happened to ask her about Reiki and she said that's what she was using on me.
**How awesome is it that I have been so interested in Reiki and I meet someone who has been doing it for decades!**

Let me just say, Reiki is absolutely amazing! It's a form of Japanese therapy to help with healing, etc. The therapist acts as a conductor of energy from the "universe" into the patient. Sounds loco, but that shit was CRAYYYZAYYYY. The natural heat from Kathy's hands was intense. It was like leather heated seats but in the form of a human. I Highly recommend it.
See this link for more information on Reiki:
http://www.reiki-for-holistic-health.com/

I left the office feeling SO good. Mentally and physically. I thought to myself...."how great would it be if I got home and finally got a positive OPK?!" I have not had any cross hairs on my chart yet so I pretty sure I haven't ovulated. I haven't gotten any positive OPK's yet either )and I've been testing 3x a day for a week!) I get home, POAS, and ScHaBaM!! A big fat beautiful positive.
Here is my current chart.

So ladies.....you know what I will be doing the next 3 night. FWP!

Can it be?

First off, I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It's been a crazy year, but at the end of the day we cannot forget what we have to be thankful for <3 With that said... Here is the result of last night's OPK.



Not too shabby... And, after temping this morning, this is what my "mini-chart" looks like:



Could it possibly be a temp drop? It's hard to tell since I haven't been temping all month... But... If I continue temping (which I will) and there's a rise in temp, we may have a winner :)

Mr. DBud and I did not BD last night due to our turkey-induced comas. But, regardless, our TTC Track Record has been pretty good.



If we BD tonight, we should be un good shape :) I told you all I was determined to bake a Turkey this month ;)



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Thanksgiving Surprise

The past 2 days I have had quite a bit of CM. This is the first way I always know when I am getting ready to Ovulate. It's only cycle day 8 so it does concern me. I really think that Prometrium might of messed with me.
But any-who, at around 4:00 this afternoon I took an ovulation test and it came out positive. Mr.Buckeye Bud and I went ahead and FWP just in case. I just tested again and got another positive (9:00pm)

I have been charting my temps/cycle symptoms for the first time in my life and I find it pretty intriguing. The past 2 days there is an obvious increase in temperature. I'm pretty anxious to test it in the morning to see if it continues to rise. Im not sure when my chart will get a crosshair, but hopefully it wont show one for a couple of days. According to what I read on the net, if I ovulate too early in my cycle my egg won't be soft enough to let the little tadpoles in.

If I don't get pregnant this cycle I wont be too disappointed. After all, I do get to start Femara next month and maybe that will make me drop multiple eggs! Now that would be one heck of a blessing!

BTW.......Hoping everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Analyze this!!!!!

Here I am on CD20. As I've been doing the past few nights, I POAS to see if I ovulated or not. I don't know about you... But this looks like a positive OPK to me...



If you go back to my previous post, there is definitely a difference. I am not an expert with these OPK things, but it does look like a positive to me :)

I decided to go back and look at my Period Tracker app calendar from back in January when we conceived for the first time... Here it is:



We BDed on the 23rd, 25th and 29th, and I got my BFP on 2/10, with a loss on 2/14... Judging by my current calendar, and this OPK, it may be "go time".



We are going to BD again tonight, but I am definitely going to continue using these OPKs until either a) I get another BFP or b) AF comes to town. Let's hope and pray for "a" :)




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Over analyzing? So what?!

This TTC stuff is serious business... For one, I find myself thinking about it all the time, from each and every symptom I feel, to every single move I make. Still, with all of that other "stuff" I have decided to narrow my "fertility decoding tools" down to two: OPKs and BBT. Here is an update on my current findings...

To refresh your memory, and in an effort to put things into perspective, yesterday's OPK looked like this:



I decided, today, to test twice... For good measure. A little tip from Cactus Bud ;) I tested at about 6:30pm and again at 11:45pm (around the time I have been testing nightly). Here are the results from those two (earlier time on top, later time on bottom):




Now, in addition to using OPKs, I am also tracking my BBT. I began doing so yesterday, so there is not much to show... But what I have so far is this:



And now, ladies... I am more confused than ever :-/ can anyone help me decipher all of this? Is the big O coming? Or am
I waiting in vain... :-/ either way, Mr. DBud and I are about to BD... So that should help... C'mon TURKEY!!!! ;) ;) ;) lets hope that "stork" yesterday is bringing me good luck...




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New OPKs & bringing the heavy artillery ;)

So, I went ahead and purchased a new box of OPKs. For the price, I decided to go with the First Response batch which brings 20 tests. Here is the result of my first test:



The test line is a bit lighter than the other line, but it seems pretty close to me... I am going to try again tomorrow and see. I am also temping, which I think will help put things into perspective. I am also recording all my symptoms into my period tracker app.

Mr. DBud and I are taking a night off BDing. We are both a bit tired (we did it 3 nights in a row) and I am actually a bit drowsy. I had to take some medicine for a sore throat and sniffles, and I am about to knock out as we speak.

The funny thing is... When I left the pharmacy, I saw this sitting on my car...



Maybe it's a sign :) I hope so... c'mon little Turkey!!! Bake, bake, bake!!!!! :) :) :)



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And the OPKs continue...

I took another OPK last night, as I had been... Here is the result:


I suspect it's about the same as the previous day...

So this morning, I decided to take another. Here is that result:



Seems a bit faded. I don't know if it's because of the time I took it, but I am planning to continue by taking another tonight. I believe this'll be my last one from the batch, so tomorrow I'll need to buy more. We shall see :) either way, Mr. DBud and I BDed last night, and plan to again tonight... So we're practicing ;)

Until next time...




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OPK 3 - starting to sense a change?

So, here is the result from day 3 of OPKs... Does anyone else sense a change? I took this one last night, I just didn't get to posting it until now...



Today is CD 15, two days before the last time I got KU (on day 17). So I will definitely be testing tonight. But, in the meantime, Mr. DBud and I figured it's not so bad to practice the BD in the meantime ;)

If this month doesn't do the trick, we may consider finally visiting the fertility clinic. We just wanted to actively try on our own before we went that route... I guess we'll see if this cycle turns out to be a bust or not.



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OPK day 2

Hello!! Just stopping in to share my results for day two of POAS/OPK ;)

Here it is:


I don't see a major change, so I am going to take the advice given by one of our wonderful readers (comment on my most recent post) and continue looking for a change in result. I am also considering purchasing a new BBT and temping again. Good thing is, I can track temp on Period Tracker app, too. I just have to actually pick up a new BBT cause my last one got chewed up (by my dog). I may also pick up some more OPKs, since I don't have many left, and may need to test more than 4-5 more days.

Will continue to update. Again, any suggestions or comments about your own experiences with OPKs are more than welcome, if not encouraged. ;)



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Not much to report (yet again). As I'm sure you all guessed, no BFP this month. Ironically AF came the very evening of my last post. =o(

Like Diva, I have decided to go the OPK route. And like her again, I bought the pharmacy generic brand. I decided to buy the kind with the strips rather than the POS kind. I started Monday, so we'll see. Everyone around me seems to swear by OPKs but I'm the only person I know with two MCs under my belt. I hope the OPK will prove as successful for me and Diva as they have for others.

OPKs and PCOS

I finally decided to go the OPK route. I purchased a box of Generic Pharmacy Brand OPKs the day before my last period began, and used the 1st one then. To my surprise, the next day, AF came to town. No wonder that one came up negative ;)

Anyway, today is CD12, so I figured this may be a good time to start testing for the big O. Here is my result:




As an OPK first timer, I am not sure how to interpret this. Is that a very light line? I may have to re-consult the instructions from the box and see... Or maybe test again tomorrow??? :-/ I don't know what to do. As a 1st timer, I feel a bit lost. I am not checking my BBT and haven't really been paying much attention to my CM... So this is really all I have to go by. Any thoughts? Comments? I am really interested to know how your experiences have gone with OPKs, especially drug store generics. And of course, any suggestions are always welcome. I said this before, and I will say it again... I am determined to cook up a little Turkey this year :)



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Finally....

Ok, so I was full of crap in my last post when I said I was ovulating. I wasn't and I think I was just reading too much into things. Call it wishful thinking. I hate to be the boy who cried wolf, but I'm gonna say it again.........I think I am ovulating.

Hopefully I won't eat my words :P

The last few days my eyes were crossing because I couldn't subjectively interpret the results of a OPK. I have been using internet cheapies for months, and while they are friendly on the wallet, they cause nothing but a headache. Again, wishful thinking takes over and I start thinking everything is positive. Anyway, I had enough and was tired of being tortured with "which line is darker?" debate (and so was Mr. PB&J) so I ran to Wal-mart and splurged on a box of Clear Blue Easy OPKs. You know, the kind that give you a smiley face if it's positive. No lines to interpret, no guessing game, just black and white results.

Well guess what kids, I took my first digital OPK test today and I got this.....

I guess you know what we will be doing tonight ;)

PB&J Bud

Cross Hairs!

Not really a surprise to see them as I've had some pretty convincing signs that ovulation happened in the last few days (+OPKs, plummeting and then dramatically rising temperature, sex drive went from ridiculously high to non-existent). Still good to see nice solid cross hairs on my chart though. Any sign that my body is doing what its supposed to when its supposed to is a good thing.

I'm currently 3 DPO. I'm going to try and hold out on testing until 10 DPO (Friday, Feb 4th). Hopefully AF holds out until then too. Last month I started spotting at 9 DPO and that's just really cutting the luteal phase a little too short for my liking. I'm hoping it was a fluke post-miscarriage thing as its never happened before. I had some other weird (for me) symptoms in the 2ww last month too, namely really sore boobs (I'm talking wake me up at night painful, ouch!). When I was in for my annual last month, the doc said things like that are par for the course in the first few cycles post pregnancy loss. Last month was Cycle 2 post loss, so I'm optimistic that was the case.

So far I'm doing pretty well in this 2ww. Mr. CB and I had pretty good timing, and knowing we did what we could to up the chances helps. This is the easy part of the 2ww though. No chance the prospective little bud has implanted, so no point in even thinking of testing. I may be singing a different tune a few days from now...when the real mind games of the 2ww begin.

Take care,

Discoveries

I've discovered something about myself during the TTC process.

I really want a baby.

That's not what I found out about myself. I obviously knew that. Stay with me.

I really want a baby, but I am really, really spacey.

What this boils down to is that, technically, and if anyone asks, which they don't, but if they did, technically, I am taking 1 Prental vitamin, 2 Vitex (see? I don't even know what amount) and 2 cups of Green Tea a day, plus using cheapie internet OPK's daily.

Technically.

In reality, my days look sort of like this:

- Wake up

- Stumble to the bathroom

- While brushing my teeth, allow my eyes to meander across the counter

- Spot Prenatals and Vitex

- Say "Oh snap! I forgot to take my Vitex last night! But I am a responsible, mindful adult, so I'm going to take my Vitamin and my morning Vitex right now."

- Feel adult and responsible

- Go downstairs, running late as usual and forget to make a cup of tea. Don't sweat it. I can drink two later, right?

- Go to work

- Remind myself several times during the day that I need to A) Take my afternoon Vitex B) POAS C)Drink two cups of green tea.

- Stumble home from work mildly exhausted

- Forget to POAS until after 830, when I will suddenly remember but it is too late now

- Make myself a cup of tea that is NOT green. When it is empty and I don't want to drink anything else, remember that I was supposed to have Green Tea.

- Completely forget about Vitex

- Bed

- Repeat

So, to summarize, while Mr. CB and I are keeping to a decent BD schedule, and I am monitoring my CM and I am temping, everything I'm supposed to be doing to help my body along is pretty touch and go. Truth be told, with only taking one Vitex a day, I may as well just start popping jelly beans and calling them fertility aids. I'd probably take them more regularly, actually.

I wonder if Mr. Cherry Bud would buy that.

"No, honey, they help with CM production. And ovulation. and they're basically sperm food. It gives them a sugar high so they swim faster."

Making a resolution to stop losing my mind,

Don't Pee on Your Hand and other lessons from OPK's

I'm a week into my first round of OPK's, and while I haven't gotten a positive yet(completely expected), I am enjoying the sense of "doing something". It makes me feel productive. I also feel much more educated on a few things that I wish I had known before I started using them.

1. If you care enough about the environment not to own little plastic cups (but not enough to care that you are throwing away a tiny pee stick every day), and you use a little ceramic cup that you totally make sure to wash after every use, DON'T leave the cup out on the counter. Even after its washed and sanitized, which it is, your husband doesn't want to accidentally drink out of it. Hide this stuff.

2. If you keep your HPT's in the same box as your OPK's, make sure you retrieve your OPK's before asking your husband to hide the box from you. Getting the box back when it's time to start testing for O will initiate an interrogation ala the Mcarthy Era, and will end with you yelling "I just want the green ones! They SAY "ovulation" on them! Now bring them to me or we'll never have a baby!"

3. Holding out a pee stick to your husband with the words "Does this look negative to you?" without explaining to him what he is looking at will only earn you the words, "I can see your pee on it". Granted, once you DO explain what he is looking at, he will be more than happy to help you out.

4. Learn to aim. Peeing on ones hand is not advisable, as the fingernails do not detect LH. Also, it's a little gross.

Still washing my hands,

Unmotivated Bud is Unmotivated

My chart is behaving a bit oddly. My temps are a good bit higher than they normally are this early in the cycle, but the hills and valleys thing looks only too familiar, so, you know, whatever.

Right now, my motivation to temp and chart is falling off the proverbial deep end. It's not that I'm giving up. Not even close. I'm just finding myself waking up in the morning and forgetting to temp, and then saying "oh well. I'll temp tomorrow." Or, like I did this morning, waking up at 7:30, rolling this way and that (because if I ignore the fact that its morning, it can stay bedtime, right? Right?), and probably completely muddling my temp. So I'm not really sure that my temps are incredibly accurate, but CM doesn't lie, and there is no way I'm ovulating any time soon.

A few firsts this cycle:

Vitex: I can't be sure if it's doing its job or not, though my sex drive is lower than normal and I've heard that's a pretty common side effect. Affect? Effect?

OPK's: Started those on Tuesday. A little early, perhaps, but I have forty of them and I don't want to miss the elusive surge. Illusive? Elusive?

NaNoWriMo: I'm participating this month. I don't think that has anything to do with my fertility, but it's still pretty nifty, I think.

Trying to force myself into motivation,

He's Baaaaack

I'm scared.

I Haz a Plan

Image Source
It's not an evil plan, but look at that kitteh! I wuv it.

Anyways

My temp spiked, which I'm ignoring, because that's what you do to things who only want attention. I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt only because my cheap-o HPT's haven't arrived from Amazon yet. When they do, if my temp hasn't indicated O, I'll test, get a little weapy over the BFN, and fill my prescription for Provera.


That should start Cycle 4, and with it, implementation of The Plan. The Super Awesome Cherry Bud Pregnancy Attainment Plan.

The Plan

1. Ordered 40 OPK's from Amazon this morning. I figure I'll start using them around CD 14 and go from there. I'm still a little confused about these. Do you use them as soon as you see fertile CM? Or do you just pick a day and start POAS-ing? It's a confusing world.

2. Green Tea. Drink it. I have a bunch at home, I just forget to drink it. Always.

3. Vitex. I'm buying the smallest possible bottle tonight and crossing my fingers that it doesn't turn me into a crazy person. I mentioned awhile back that Provera turns me into Ted Bundy. What I didn't mention is that I wasn't surprised. My emotions are apparently in a very rickety balance, and a hormonal difference one way or the other turns me into a kaleidoscope of nuts. The point of this is that I'm giving the Vitex a chance, as it is (apparently) a fertility wonderment. We'll see how it goes. If my posts become mentally unbalanced in the next few weeks, you'll know why.

4. BD-ing. We're ok at this, actually. So I guess we'll just keep up the good work and stuff.

Sweet Thing Mr. Cherry Bud said this week: "So....you said your temp went up...or down...something good...how did....how did that work out for you?" He's trying so hard, and I love him for it.