Things I Wish I'd Known

Several of these things are specific to being pregnant after a loss, but not all of them. These cover things through about Week 20 or so of the pregnancy. Maybe I'll do another one of these after delivery...



1) Getting pregnant after a loss is scary.

When I was TTC after my loss I had it in my head that getting pregnant again would magically make everything OK. It doesn't. Its scary to be pregnant again with a little one that you want so badly when you know so much about what can go wrong.


2) Spotting doesn't always mean miscarriage.

It can, in fact it did for me the first time around. This time though I spotted a lot (see chart) and he's still very much still around. I guess I'm pretty much a great example of the 50% chance they give you of a miscarriage when you're spotting. Spotting is terrifying though, especially when you've been down the road of it meaning the beginning of the end before.


3) Symptoms can come and go.

For a lot of ladies, the bulk of 1st Tri symptoms don't really start to kick in until around 6-7 weeks. For me, weeks 7-9 were the most worst. Its totally normal to feel nauseous or tired as anything one day and fine the next. The same has held true for my 2nd and 3rd Tri symptoms so far. Movement has come and gone. Swelling has come and gone.


4) Its common for 1st Tri symptoms to drop off around 10ish weeks.

My symptoms completely tanked around 9 weeks and were all but gone by 10 weeks. Turns out a ton of the ladies on Pregnant After A Loss (a board on The Bump) were experiencing the same thing. Pretty sure around that point is when the placenta takes over, making those annoying 1st Tri symptoms fade.


5) Not everyone gets morning sickness (or other 1st Tri symptoms) really bad and every pregnancy really is different.

I'd heard all these horror stories about morning sickness. None of them were true for me. To this day I've not puked when pregnant. I had nausea, sure, but only a handful of times was it to the point where I thought I might puke...and it was never in the morning. I was an evening nausea girl. I never had Super Smell with this pregnancy (did a little with the first one), just a sensitivity to a few odors. With my first pregnancy I was exhausted, this one just a few days here and there.


6) Make Mr. Metamucil your BFF.

Taking Metamucil (I'd recommend the clear and free kind that dissolves in just about anything) can really help you if you get backed up...something that is common in early pregnancy but that people don't often talk about. Other things like colace, fruit, drinking tons of water, etc can also help.


7) The days before ultrasounds are nervewrecking.

Having had my miscarriage confirmed via seeing my empty uterus on the big screen, I was terrified going in for ultrasounds early on. The worst, by far, was the one where I knew there should be a heartbeat but I had no tangible proof that the heart was in fact beating. I was scared beyond words walking into that appointment. Seeing that beautiful flicker was absolutely amazing, there just are no words. I've gotten better about ultrasounds now that I can feel him and he's passed his anatomy scan, but I still worry a little.


8) When you get news that your child might have something that will make his/her life more challenging...nothing else matters.

OK, I kind of knew that in theory going into pregnancy, but processing the news that our little one had a 1:10 chance for Down Syndrome (courtesy of the Quad Screening) was hands down the hardest moment thus far for this pregnancy. I just wanted our child to have the best chance at the best life possible...and hearing s/he might face extra challenges was hard. It did put things into perspective though and helped me realize that as disconnected as I'd felt from this pregnancy (emotionally protecting myself from another loss, I think) that I really did love the baby already.


9) The amnio wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

It was scary seeing the needle in the amniotic sac on the ultrasound screen, but the procedure itself didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. The worst part of the whole experience, by far, was waiting for the results. Given that I'll be of advanced maternal age for future pregnancies, thus increasing my risks for several things the amnio can check for, I'll likely get an amnio instead of the Quad Screening in future pregnancies. So many of the other tests they can do just give you odds of a problem or can't rule things out completely. With amnio they are checking the DNA and you get a definitive answer. Sometimes just knowing one way or the other what is going on is necessary...at least it was for me.


10) The first movements don't always feel like flutters.

For me it felt like a bug was crawling inside of me. Why everyone else gets butterflies and I got a giant beetle...I have no idea. I've heard other ladies describe the feeling they had as it being like a vibrating cell phone.


11) Its totally normal to only feel movement intermittently before the start of 3rd Tri.

Even if your little one has been predictable as anything with their movements, when they are still relatively tiny, sometimes they can get themselves into a position where you can't feel them. Sometimes their sleep/awake patterns can change as well. If you have any concerns, absolutely call your doctor or go into Labor & Delivery (I did)...just go in knowing that in most cases the baby is fine.


12) Registries: Baby Bargains, Lucie's List and a game plan

Walking into a Big Box baby store as a first time parent is overwhelming. I found doing some research beforehand really helped me calm down. I highly recommend the book Baby Bargains (2011), available on Amazon for about $11 (image credit: http://www.amazon.com/). They literally go through and rate every product by pretty much every manufacturer and outline things like features, recalls, etc. The book will more than pay for itself. Seriously. Another thing I found helpful was http://www.lucieslist.com/. This website outlines the bare minimum of what you really need for baby. I don't agree with all the recommendations for big ticket items (a personal preference thing), but the listings of how many of this, that and the other thing you really need was helpful.


When it comes time to actually register, do what you can online. When you go to the store (there will likely be things you'll want to see in person), keep in mind that you don't have to do it all in one day. We did strollers and car seats one week, cribs and pack n'plays the next...you get the idea. You can always tweak it online at home. Oh and another important tip-If you get tired, that's a GREAT time to try out the gliders. Just sayin'.

1:10

I had an OB appointment today. It was mainly just to check in and to listen to the heartbeat with the doppler. I also (finally) got my results from the NT scan weeks ago.

First the good news: Baby had a heartbeat and it was right on target for 17 weeks (~150bpm). Baby was moving all around in there. I also found out that that strange 'bug walking around inside of me' sensation I've had several times in the last week (and once at 13 weeks!) is, in fact, fetal movement.

Now the bad news: My NT results show that Baby has a 1:10 chance of having Downs Syndrome. To give you some perspective on this, based on age alone my risk was more like 1:400. These are not favorable test results. Based on what I can tell, the risk is largely going by the blood test results since the ultrasound itself showed no obvious problems (measurement was 1.4, nasal bone present, etc).

I have an appointment tomorrow with a specialist in Fetal Assessment. I'm hoping to have them go over the results with me, particularly the blood tests, to make sure that my doctor interpreted them correctly (she told me I was the first patient she'd ever sent for an NT Scan). Beyond that they will more than likely recommend an amniocentesis.

We'll likely go through with the amnio. I don't like the idea as there is a small risk of a miscarriage, but the idea of 23 weeks of not knowing what is going on with our child is even scarier for me. Plus if we are the 1:10, there are specialists who'd need to be seen to check for some other issues common with Down Syndrome babies.

Not going to lie, I'm terrified. My only close association with Downs Syndrome is with a cousin that died as a child of a related heart defect. I know there are wonderful stories out there, and I know firsthand the incredible amount of love Downs children have to share, but I also know that there are very real risks that come with it.

In the meantime, trying to focus on the fact that there is a 90% chance baby is perfectly fine.

What a week, er weeks!

We had quite a scare after our NT scan last week, so I decided not to post until we got some results. Baby's Nuchal Fold was measuring 3.5 mm and the office where I had the scan done likes to see it below 3 mm. Luckily my 12 week appointment was after the scan so the doctor at the other office had time to call my midwife so she could give us more information.

Mr. BCB and I went next door to the office finding information on Google to make us feel better. We went into the office and our midwife's assistant got us and took us back to the room. She took my blood pressure, which was normal and my weight, I lost 2 pounds. My midwife Sarah came in soon after. She made a little small talk before she informed us that the doctor who read our scan results said that our chances of having a baby with Down Syndrome were 1 in 6! What?! 1 in 6?! My midwife kept telling me she was sorry and hugged me and I broke down. She told us our options were to have a CVS in 2 days or an Amnio at 15 weeks. We opted to do the CVS so we would know sooner.

Mr. BCB left the office worried, calling our immediate family and best friends to let them know and ask for prayers. Our friends and family were very supportive through the whole process and I think Mr. BCB and I became closer. So we banned the internet so we wouldn't worry more than we needed to in the time we waited for the CVS. We showed up for the CVS in good spirits. The tech who was supposed to check baby's heartbeat decided to retake some measurements. Baby BCB's Nuchal fold was measuring only 2.7mm. Had that been the measurement the first time we would have had a simple blood test and not been worried. After we got some more pictures of our sweet little baby we went to have a consultation with the doctor before the CVS.

Dr. F was incredible. She was very positive and answered all of our questions with patience and care. She told us the initial test, called a FISH test would just be looking at Chromosomes 13, 18 and 21 for those corresponding trisonomies. If baby had Trisonomy 13 or 18 we would have had to look at a D & C because baby would most likely die during or after birth. Trisonomy 21 is Down Syndrome and we would have had to make a a decision about that as well. Mr. BCB and I decided to move forward with the test.

Dr. F did the CVC transcervically so it was not painful. I had to have a full bladder and that was the worst part. Dr. F and her staff were funny and Mr. BCB and I joked with them the whole time. That whole office was amazing and I have a lot of respect and admiration for the staff.

I just got a call from Dr. F this morning and Thank God, our baby does not have any of the above mentioned chromosome abnormalities. Dr. F said that the rest of the results back soon but she is not worried because it is very rare that anything comes back abnormal with the other chromosomes. We are so relieved and thankful.

Dr. F also let me know that they know the gender of baby BCB but we are team green so she didn't tell us. I kind of wish she would have accidentally told me because I do want to know but Mr. BCB and I agreed to wait.

Other than that craziness I feel good. We are rounding the corner into second trimester, woo hoo! I am starting to get my energy back and I am happy to have a "normal" pregnancy. We have not bought anything for the baby but I am hoping since we are in second trimester now we can begin our purchases.

I still really want to eat, potatoes pickles all the time. Yum!

Here is a picture of my healthy little baby. I cannot wait to meet him/her.

12 weeks - NT Scan

Whew!  On Friday we reached the 12 week mark and had our NT Scan!  It was so great to see baby TB again, and get the reassurance that everything is alright in there. 

I cried again, of course.  I had been panicking the week before that we would get the the NT scan and there would be no heartbeat, but everything was good!  Little TB had a heartbeat of 167 beats per minute.  When we first started the ultrasound, the baby was wiggling around.  Then the tech had me go empty my bladder, and when we came back, baby TB had rolled over and fallen asleep.  At one point he/she even had the hiccups!  It was so cute. 

We were so happy all day, and sharing the pictures with everyone.  We haven't come out on facebook, but we have told our family and friends, and I'll be telling my students this week.  Eep!  I'm not looking forward to telling my students.  It just seems very awkward to me.  They all know where babies come from, and I do not want my teenage boy students imagining anything.  Yuck!  I'm sure it will be fine, but I'm just nervous about the whole thing. 

On a less squicky note, our first appointment at the birth center is scheduled for Tuesday!  I'm so excited to start seeing them, and another of the many great things about them, is they have evening appointments, so I don't have to take off of work!  Yay!

As for a 12 week update, I do feel like I might be starting to show.  Even the elastic pants I bought a few weeks ago are starting to feel tight, as are my bras.  It may be time to start shopping soon.  It's strange to think about, especially in light of the fact that I am still not back up to my pre-pregnancy weight since the hyperemesis gravidarum.  I'm still taking anti-nausea drugs most of the time, and I'm still throwing up about 3 times a day, but I think it is starting to get better.   When I do vomit, it's not as much, mostly fluids, and I am eating real meals again most of the time.  I can only hope that this will vanish soon and I can experience the supposed awesomeness of the 2nd tri without puking. 
That's it for now, hope everyone is having a great weekend! 

11 Week Update

We had an appointment today because my BP has been low lately. Luckily everything is okay, just some low iron which I can take a supplement for.

Awesome appointment because we got to hear baby's heartbeat! Amazing!

My nausea has been pretty nonexistent, yay! Cravings are really random but intense when I am hungry. I have gained 3 pounds and it is ALL belly, see baby Buttercup Bud and I below at 9 weeks 5 days:



I've been wearing maternity pants the past week! They are so comfy, I love them and live in them as well as sweats and PJ's.

Next week is our NT scan and I am super excited to see baby look like a baby! My grandma and I think baby is a girl but since Mr BB and I are Team Green we won't know until he/she is born.

I will update with pictures of my sweet baby next week after our appointment.

Best,

Buttercup Bud

NT Scan

For those that aren't familiar with what the NT (Nuchal Transluceny) Scan is, basically its a tool that can be used to check for problems in the fetus. People generally think of it in relation to detection of Downs Syndrome (Trisomy 21), but it can also pick up on other chromosonal and nural tube defects. Some examples of things that might be found in addition to Trisomy 21 are: Trisomies 13 or 18, Anencephaly, Hydrocephalus, & Omphalocele. Some of these conditions are or can be so severe that the baby will not be compatible with life. In many cases there is a high likelihood that the baby will not survive to term.

At the NT Scan they are focusing on a small area of fluid on the back of the babies neck (the nuchal fold). Studies have found that the thickness of this fold, when measured between 11 weeks and 14 weeks, is a good indicator of the likelihood of a chromosonal problem. Measurements of less than 2.5mm are good, 2.5-3mm are borderline. Greater than 3mm is generally not good news. They also look for the presence/abscence of nasal bones as this is another good indicator of a problem.

Gonna cut straight to the good news: Baby still has a heartbeat & everything looked good on the scan. Measurement was 1.2! We got to hear the heartbeat for the first time today too (albeit machine generated), 158bpm. My husband was able to join me as well. This was his first time seeing the little bugger.


The tech really buzzed around checking all sorts of things I didn't expect. Some things we learned: All 4 limbs are present and accounted for (can even make out bones in forearm in one of the pics), both hemispheres of the brain are there, as is a skull, nose has bones, baby has a stomach, heart looked good, placenta looked good and seemed to have good flow, placenta is posterior, & my cervix looks good. There is probably more that she checked that I'm forgetting, but that's the basics. Basically in a few short minutes, we got some visual confirmation to help rule out many of the potentially fatal conditions I listed in the first paragraph.


I'm not going to include a picture because honestly they didn't come out very clear. The one I included in my post from last weeks ultrasound was so much clearer. That one was only a week ago, so there really hasn't been much change in how the baby looks.

I didn't get to hear how the blood test results measured up today. My blood draw was done at my normal hospital and the u/s was done at another hospital (tech that does NT scans at my hospital is deployed right now...gotta love going to a military hospital). Todays results will be forwarded to my doctor and my doctor will get back to me with results (no idea when...but I'll call next week to see what's up if I don't hear first). The tech did say though that the u/s didn't show anything of concern, so that's good news. I guess I'll be doing a second blood draw at my next appointment (16w) as well. Comparing the results to last weeks draw gives them even more info.

I'll let you all know what I find out when they get the results to me.

12 weeks & NT Scan

I can't believe it! I will be 12 weeks tomorrow.

Yesterday we had our NT scan. The NT scan is a measurement of the nuchal fold on the baby's neck along with some blood work. It tests for down's syndrome as well as other chromosone defects. I really just wanted to see the baby again, but we felt that it's also good to be prepared for any issues that could arise so that our baby could have the best possible care when (s)he gets here.

The good news is that all the measurements came back normal. However, the baby did not want to cooperate at all! We spent 2 hours, tried the u/s machine 4 times, and finally after numerous bathroom breaks and me jumping up and down, we got the measurements. I didn't mind it at all since it gave us more time to see the baby. Here's what (s)he looks like this week:

We also did some shopping this past weekend. Target has some great baby gear on clearance. We got the Safety First Air Protect Convertible Car Seat and the Fisher Price Little Lamb Infant Seat each for 50% off!

I don't have another OB appointment for 4 weeks so hopefully things remain uneventful between now and then.

10 weeks, Body Pillows and Possible Baby Bumps

Today marks double digit weeks, which I feel like is quite the accomplishment, though whether its me or the baby that has accomplished something, I can't really decide.

A few updates

Yesterday I looked at myself sideways and noticed that I can finally see the very beginnings of what might consider allowing itself to be called a baby bump. I won't embarrass myself with a picture, because apparently I'm the only one who can see it, but it's there, darn it, and it's a tiny piece of proof that Baby CB is growing just how he/she should.

After a very short discussion, Mr. CB and I opted out of an NT scan. Termination isn't something we would consider, even if the results came back abnormal, so we don't see the point in paying out of pocket for another u/s. Although, to be honest, seeing Baby CB again would not have been a bad thing, especially as, at this point, little one probably looks more human than nut.

My mother, who I love more than life, bought me one of these:

If you are pregnant, or even if you aren't, you need this. It is heavenly, especially if you're like me and need something to snuggle with all night and a husband who wishes you would take your broiling body temperature to the other side of the bed because he is trying to sleep.

To the rest of my fellow buds: you are all in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope good news comes soon for everyone!

NT scan

We had our NT scan this past week and baby is PERFECT. And apparently, extremely active. He/she never once stopped moving. The tech had a hard time getting measurements because of how much the baby was moving around. We were all laughing because it was just amazing to watch.

And it brought tears to my eyes to see that the baby really looks like a baby now:



Baby is measuring one day ahead and has a wonderfully strong heartbeat of 178.

Morning sickness is hit or miss now. Some days I have it, some I don't. Some days I think are going to be good and then I get hit with it later in the evening.

I was allowed to stop the progesterone suppositories and it was AWESOME. I do not miss them at all!!! 2 1/2 months on those and I am so thankful to have my vagina back to myself. :)

There's no hiding it anymore either.... I'm definitely showing:


After the NT scan and being reassured once again that everything is fine, the placenta is there and baby looks wonderful, I am finally really relaxing now and we even bought our crib yesterday!!!

We just went with a simple black crib with simple lines. Since this is most likely our last baby, we weren't interested in spending hundreds of dollars on it. But this one looks nice and got great reviews and several of my friends have it.
We'll be using the Wendy B Honey Bee bedding:


I found the perfect glider for it at BRU and I'm going to be stalking it to go on sale or looking for a coupon.

Still keeping the rest of my Buds in my prayers and hoping to see great news from everyone soon!

Incompatible with life

I was going to wait to post this tomorrow, but I’m getting tired of reliving the past. I want to look forward, not back! So I’m going to post this tonight and finish up my story tomorrow. After that, I can AW about our latest donor cycle.

**WARNING**In this post I talk about the difficult subject of termination for medical purposes. Not everyone will be comfortable reading this, nor will everyone agree with our decision. You might also notice that I approach this post with humor and acceptance. Forgive me if I seem uncaring. This is a side-effect of my sunny outlook, my sense of humor, and the healing that’s taken place these past few months.***

Despite all the bad feelings I’d had about the cycle, I wasn’t surprised to get a BFP. At 7dp3dt I’d had really mild cramps all day long. I never get cramps before AF, and I’d never had cramps for any previous cycle, so I took the cramps as a good sign. I also received a batch of 50 cheapie pregnancy tests from Amazon that day, so I decided to test in the morning, or 8dp3dt.

Sure enough, the next morning I got a faint second line on an HPT. To rule out an evap line, I had Mr. GB get out of bed, pee in a cup, and watch while I tested his pee. He got a BFN. (For the record, I am a big advocate of POASing, and I would’ve done so sooner if I’d had HPTs in my possession.)

Fast forward past a few ultrasounds at the RE’s office. Despite my high betas, I admit I was disappointed to only have a singleton, because I knew we’d have to repeat the donor process (and expense) if we wanted siblings. At the same time I felt very lucky to have no morning sickness or fatigue. There were many times I’d forgotten I was pregnant. My mom was the same way with me, so I wasn’t worried. We even met my mom in Las Vegas for a short vacation and broke the news. She was thrilled, of course. We swore her to secrecy. Or so we thought.

Fast forward to my first OB appointment at 11 weeks. Yuck. Coming from a fancy-pants RE clinic to this OB’s office was like a culture shock. The waiting room furniture was uncomfortable, there were no magazines, and the décor was dated. The paperwork had no place for me to indicate that I’d used IVF, let alone an egg donor. The nurse kept asking me when my last menstrual period was, and I had to explain to her that my LMP was irrelevant and that she should use the donor’s LMP. She also asked me if I wanted genetic testing for cystic fibrosis. Clearly she was clueless both about IF and donor eggs. And don’t get me started on her gender predictions based on the Doppler heart rate. The doctor was equally uninspiring. I hated being treated like a pregnant fertile in an assembly line. I was ready to get out of there.

I vowed to find an infertile-friendly OB just as soon as I got my referral for an NT scan at 12 weeks. To me, the NT scan was a big milestone. Technically I didn’t need one because our donor was 28 and not AMA, but I wanted one anyway—I wanted to revel in the magic of high-tech ultrasound equipment and get my hands on the DVD they give you at the end.

Per my usual impatience, I booked the appointment on the early side of the NT scan window (11 weeks & some days) at a Maternal Fetal Medicine clinic at a local hospital. (MFMs see high-risk patients and have better-than-average ultrasound equipment.) The MFM’s office was also an upgrade over the trashy OB’s office in the same hospital complex. The MFM paperwork had questions about IVF treatments and a nice little “Donor Egg” checkbox. I was happy.

The exam room was also lovely, with twinkling lights on the ceiling. Didn’t see the doctor at first, just the technician and nurse. The ultrasound was my first experience abdominal ultrasounds--the RE is all about the vag-cam, which is a different experience altogether. It was weird keeping my pants on.

Long story short: at some point I was asked to go empty my bladder and return to the room for a vag-cam for a closer look (so I got to take my pants off after all). Ladies, I’m telling you, if this happens to you, it’s probably not good news. I’d seen the technician do the NT fold measurement and the number looked good to me, so I had no idea WTF was going on. So I pee, come back, meet the MFM’s vag-cam, and the technician resumes looking at the baby’s head. Finally she says she needs to go find the doctor. I ask her if everything is ok and she said she’s having trouble seeing the baby’s head.

At this point she stepped out of the room and left me and Mr. GB to hug and try to deal with this news. A few minutes later the doctor (a very nice woman) and a genetic counselor come to talk to us. They told us that the baby has a severe neural tube defect that was incompatible with life. Basically the baby had a brain but no skull. Our choices were to terminate or continue the pregnancy knowing that the baby would not survive.

As you can imagine, this news was terribly upsetting. But I knew there was no way I could continue the pregnancy, so we made arrangements for a D&E the following week.

Alrighty, that’s enough for today. I’ll try to wrap up my history in the next post.

Golden Bud

12 weeks and ALREADY? This is ridiculous!

Show of hands... at 12 weeks pregnant, the very 1st day of your second trimester, how many of you know women who were already out on disability?

Oh, just me? Shocker.

So, let's take a show of hands then on who is surprised that if anyone was going to be out on disability at 12 weeks pregnant, it would be me?

Ah, yes, that's what I thought.

So, once diagnosed with the subchorionic hematoma, my OB said I could go back to work with a lifting restriction. Work said, "oh, if you can't lift, you can't work". It's ridiculous. 99% of my job involves things OTHER than lifting patients. They'd rather cover all of my shifts than let me do the overwhelming majority of my job.

Insanity.

Well, i'm not going to complain. It's going to make things REALLY financially tight. As soon as I know how much my disability will be, we'll have to revamp the budget a little. I was hoping to have some of our savings account intact for when the baby gets here... that might wind up being an issue now. But we'll deal with it as it happens. My job was HIGHLY stressful, and scared me every day. At least now I know Smudge is safe. That's really the bottom line, and all that matters.

In other news, we had our NT scan yesterday. The MFM (Maternal-Fetal Medicine) doctor said things couldn't look more perfect. The saw the nasal bone (which apparently is really important), the nuchal fold was 1.3mm (needs to be less than 3.3mm), they visualized the stomach, the bladder, 2 hands and 2 feet and the heartbeat was perfect at 163.

So, now we just wait for the blood work to come back, which will tell us with 95% accuracy of our risk for Downs Syndrome and 97% accuracy our risk for Trisomy 13 or 18.

Smudge is officially exactly like my husband: bald, stubborn, sleeping during the day and cranky when you wake him up. The baby didn't want to cooperate at all during the scan, so the sonographer had to resort to creative tactics to get him to move. Once Smudge finally started moving, little arms and legs were flying all around... he was VERY annoyed. But once things settled down, Smudge actually grabbed onto the feet. It was really cute.

Next OB appointment with Dr L is on June 9th. Until then, i'm hoping this spotting stops at some point - for now it seems that I'm down to spotting at least 1x a day.

Bittersweet

I wasn't going to post again until my NT scan, when i'd hopefully have some really good pictures of smudge to share.

But the past few days I've been having a bit of a hard time, and now that i've finally told my husband about it, i feel like telling you guys too.

the past few days i've been really sad about our lost twin.

I don't know why this is coming up now. I never really got sad about the twin before. But as happy as I am now about smudge, is as sad as I am about the baby we lost.

I'm almost 11 weeks pregnant - i don't know why these feelings are just coming up now.

14 weeks + nursery furniture!!

Hey everyone! Today I am 14 weeks 2 days pregnant & feeling pretty good. I still get random aches & pains in my sides, hips & ute area, but I have come to expect them daily & they don't worry me any more. It's essentially soreness in that entire area & I actually get worried when I don't feel it for too long of a time period. I'm also happy to report that today I eliminated a MAJOR source of stress in my life...I don't really want to bore you with the details, but I just feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, whew!

In other news, we got the final results from our NT Scan last week & everything looks great! The geneticist said that our baby Worry Bud has a 1 in 10,000 chance of being born with Downs Syndrome, Trisomy 13 or 18 - she said that was the lowest possible risk factor based on their standards. I wasn't necessarily worried about the results, since my pregnancy was considered relatively low risk for any of those genetic disorders based on my age & absence of history of any such genetic issues in either of our families, but it still feels great to hear our LO is healthy in there! Thank God!

According to The Bump (photo credit), this week Baby WB is the size of a lemon or a fist!! S/he is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, making urine & breathing in amniotic fluid as his liver, kidney & spleen continue to develop. S/he is also covered in lanugo, which is a thin hair, that grows all over a developing baby's body for warmth - stay warm in there Baby WB!

In other news, we picked out & ordered our nursery furniture this weekend! Babies 'R Us was having a huge sale & we got 20% off both pieces we bought - the convertible crib (plus the conversion kit) & the dresser/changer combo. They are from Baby Cache, which got a A- rating in Baby Bargains & good reviews everywhere else I researched! The finish is called "cherry wood," but in person it's a little darker than traditional cherry wood, so it works since we initially wanted dark wood furniture. It'll be delivered to our house late this week actually - much sooner than I expected, so Mr. Worry Bud is going to be hard at work painting the nursery (a gender neutral, aqua blue) this week! Woot!

Photo Credit

My next OB appointment is next Friday - May 21st & I'm hoping to schedule the BIG u/s that day! I can't wait to find out what we are having so that I can start decorating Baby WB's nursery! And finally, I leave you with my 14 week "bump" picture:


Hope everyone has a great week & farewell to Glow Bud...we'll miss you 'round here!

Helloooo 2nd Tri!!

Hey there everyone! In about 2 hours, I will officially be 13w3d pregnant, which by most estimates = 2nd tri...woooot! I have been waiting for this day for sooo long. I kept telling myself throughout the pregnancy so far that after 6 weeks - I'll feel more confident about this pregnancy, then it changed to 8 weeks, then 10 weeks - double digits...gotta be good thing right? Then I said okay, after my 12 week appt., which is where Baby Worry Bud scared the bejesus out of his/her parents! But honestly, after the u/s we had at 12 weeks, then the NT Scan last Friday @ just about 13 weeks, I think I am finally starting to feel like our little miracle is doing well in there! Now, I'm finally in the 2nd tri & I am ecstatic!!!

Our NT Scan went well - the baby measured perfectly, had an awesome heartbeat of 162bpm, and the baby's NT measured normally. The geneticist says they have to wait on the blood work, which she should receive by the middle of this week to give us the final results. We saw Baby WB again, which was the most important part! I won't even post the pic from the u/s because the quality of that u/s was horrible, but we saw the baby moving around a little bit & the tech measured the hb for me, which was the main two things I was concerned with (minus the actual point of the u/s). According to The Bump (photo credit), Baby WB is the size of a peach this week - a peach! His head is now more proportionate to his body, he's forming vocal cords & teeth, and I even read that the baby can hear when you talk to him/her. So you know what Mr. WB did when I told him that? He ordered a bunch of children's books on Amazon to read to the baby while s/he is still in my tummy - just about melted my heart. He's so excited. He's going to make such an awesome daddy & I can't WAIT to see him hold his baby in his arms for the first time. :)

I also told my boss about the pregnancy - it went awesome. He's so happy for me & he told me to take my precious time with leave. He said lots of good stuff about promotions too, all things I like to hear. I heart my boss - he always makes me feel so appreciated. I couldn't ask for a more flexible schedule or a more understanding boss. My team leader & I butt heads a little sometimes, but I think that even he will be very supportive & happy about my news. (He was out today, so I'll tell him tomorrow). So now that I told them, I'll be "coming out" to the rest of the world now...I think it's time & we are sick of hiding our immense joy in expecting our child! The plan is not to randomly tell people, but not hide it either. If someone guesses or it comes up in convo, then we'll tell. And finally, for your (possible) viewing pleasure, here's my 13 week "bump" picture. I think that perhaps a little bit of bump is actually starting to show. Either that or my bell-eh is getting really big from my food baby! I've gained about 8-9 lbs. so far & I am okay with that gain, hoping to definitely stay within the healthy weight gain range, which is 25-35 lbs. for someone with a healthy BMI prior to pregnancy.


This weekend we are going to start looking at nursery furniture. We probably won't buy anything yet, but we will be doing our research and personally "trying out the furniture" & likely making a selection or at least narrowing down the possible options. I'm super excited - squeee!

Scariest day of my life...

It's amazing how attached you can become to something about the size of a large lime. Today, I am 12w1d pregnant & so thankful. But, Friday morning, during our routine 12 week appointment (I was actually 11w6d), Baby Worry Bud scared the bejesus out of me & Mr. WB. Let me start where my last post left off...

I have been doing well, not worrying so much about Baby WB. Just having faith that all is going well in there. We haven't had a real appointment since the final one with my RE at 7w6d. At that point, the Drs. were saying everything with the baby looked perfect & they were comfortable releasing me to my regular OB. By then, Baby WB looked like this:


As directed, I stopped my Endometrin (progesterone) & Estradiol (estrogen) supplements at 10 weeks. I was so scared that my baby would still need them, but my RE assured me that it would be fine. So, I stopped them...and all seemed well. No unusual cramping, no bleeding. Mr. WB & I went along with our lives as normal, started some spring cleaning around the house, did some yard work, and even went to Lowes to pick up some paint samples for Baby WB's nursery. I'll likely paint the room the same color regardless of the baby's sex. I even found out that one of my co-workers is also pregnant - only about a week & a half ahead of me! My symptoms continued to be pretty minimal - extreme fatigue, slight twisting/stretching/occasional quick stabbing pain in my ute area, shooting pain starting in my left butt cheek & going down to my leg, slightly sore breasts, larger breasts, seemingly swollen ute area, sore hips. I did experience nausea, but never actually threw up & that worried me only a little, since I have read that not all pregnant women experience that symptom. Since I have never been pregnant, I was just trying to go with the flow & not worry too much unless something alarming happened.

So, along comes our 2nd OB appointment this past Friday, April 23, 2010. I was just a little nervous, we were supposed to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time on that day! We had seen it on our previous ultrasounds, but had never heard it. I have read so many mama's accounts of the first time hearing that beautiful whooshing sound & had been looking forward to hearing it too. So, I was finally called back...Mr. Worry Bud was directed to go back to the exam room. The nurse took my blood pressure, got a urine sample & took my weight (which I think was about 3 lbs. off from my scale at home that I know is pretty accurate - I think she was just in a rush). Then she took me back to the exam room. The nurse practitioner (NP) - who I normally see for my annual pap smears - was handling my appointment that morning; she came & grabbed us & we went to her office to talk for a bit. After that, she did my annual pap, felt my uterus & agreed that it was enlarged normally for being almost 12 weeks. Well, then the "fun part" - listening with the Doppler for the baby's h/b!!! She put the gel on the prob, then put the probe on my ute area & started moving it around. She tried for about 5-8 min in all different areas & couldn't find it. Nothing. Panic mode set in. She said sometimes it happens, but that at this point in my pregnancy, we should be able to hear the h/b. She said she didn't want me worrying all weekend, so she would send me downstairs (to a imaging/radiology office my OB uses) to get a u/s. As soon as she left the room, I started weeping & Mr. WB tried to tell me that everything would be fine, that the baby was doing great & was just hiding. Although he seemed so sure, I knew he was freaking out a little in his own mind.

So, we went downstairs & the very nice front desk guy told us that since we didn't have an appointment, we could be waiting up to 2 hours to get in, but that he'd try & get us in ASAP. We decided we'd wait (versus coming back later that afternoon)...I don't think I could really function doing anything else until we knew what was going on with our LO anyway. So, I sat in the waiting room, and prayed, and prayed, and prayed - prayed that our baby was okay & was just hiding somehow from the Doppler, prayed that we'd get in to see him/her ASAP. About 40 min later, both of my prayers were answered. We got called in! The u/s tech said that she'd do both a tummy & trans-vag u/s, but that she'd start with the tummy. I grabbed Mr. WB's hand. As soon as she put the probe on, I recognized the gestational sac & our baby. It wasn't moving & I knew that it should be by this point, but after about 3 seconds, s/he started wiggling around & dancing for us!! I was so relieved, I started "ugly" crying. I told the tech everything that we had gone thru to get to this point & we were just so happy Baby WB was doing good. I even saw Mr. WB let out a sigh of relief! I asked why she thought the NP at my OB wasn't able to find the h/b with the Doppler, and she told me she couldn't say for sure, but it may have been because the baby was towards the back of my uterus. The Dr. at that office came in to follow up with us & told me that the baby was measuring normally; he told me, "Don't worry, be happy," that our baby looked "perfect." And without further adieu, here is a bonus peek at Baby WB at 11w6d:

Little bugger - I think he knew mommy wanted another peek at him, but I had a talk with him after the u/s was done & told him never ever to scare me like that again!

Isn't s/he so beautiful & perfect?! We feel so blessed that everything turned out okay. I know all too well in speaking with other women who battled IF that it was not a for sure thing that the baby would be okay. But s/he was, and we thank God for that. After those traumatic few hours, I even got Mr. WB to agree to let me buy a rocker I want for the baby's nursery! We are going to go look at a few options today. :)

Oh & I mentioned this in my previous post, but I started taking "bump" pics starting at 4 weeks & that I'd post them start posting them here at 12 weeks. My Dr. agrees that my uterus has grown above my pelvic cavity as it should by this point, so technically, I think I am showing a little bit. I started wearing maternity jeans last week & they are glorious. I got my normal jean size & bought this pair in two different washes from Old Navy. I also bought these real waist pants for work from ON in all 3 colors - and I highly recommend both! I'm a long way from needing shirts, but I am so happy I moved on to the pants - so comfy! So anywho, here is a comparison of my "bump" at 5 weeks vs. 12 weeks:


Thanks for reading if you got this far! I promise to get better on updating more often. Work has been crazy & I have actually been in training for the last week or so. Hopefully everything will calm down soon, but I doubt it since we are about to enter the busiest time of year in my field - third & fourth quarters. My NT Scan is this Friday, April 30, 2010 & we are praying that everything looks good at that u/s with Baby WB. Thank you so much for all the continued T&P that our little WB continues to grow big & strong & healthy!

9 weeks, 6 days!

Hey there everyone! I apologize for being so MIA lately - I have been sooo busy @ work; I'm going to training for two weeks at the end of this month, so that has made me even more busy. Besides that, I haven't had too much going on Baby Worry Bud-wise. I did have my first OB appointment last Wednesday & it was pretty uneventful - they just went over some Dos & Don'ts of pregnancy, took my weight (up about 4 lbs since starting IVF...eek), asked a few questions, allowed me to ask any I had, gave me some literature on some optional testing I could have done, as well as some general pregnancy, took blood & urine for some testing. All my tests came back clear & I found out that my blood type is B+....no, I never knew that, lol.

My next OB appt. is on Friday, April 23rd - and that'll be a "fun" one - we get to hear the baby's h/b with the Doppler!! I'm so excited about that b/c we have never heard Baby WB's h/b (only seen it) & that'll also be our last appt. before we enter the second trimester! Even though, I know that after you see the baby's h/b that the chances of miscarriage go down to like 2-5%, but I'm still nervous. Can't help it I guess - it's in my nature to worry. But, I just continue to pray that everything with Baby WB continues to go well & that s/he continues to grow, big, strong & healthy.

Photo Credit

As far as the optional tests, we will likely do the u/s called the nuchal translucency (NT) scan (which examines the baby's skin folds behind the neck) although I am considered relatively low risk for Downs Syndrome, but it's an extra u/s & my insurance will likely cover it 100% (I'll check on that first) & it carries essentially no risk to the baby since it's just an u/s & I think maybe some b/w. My OB routinely only orders just one u/s at about 18-20 weeks & that mid-late June for me! I don't know if I can wait THAT long to see Baby WB again. I kinda wish my RE didn't release until 10-12 weeks, sigh. At this point, we don't plan on doing any other optional testing b/c many of the tests come with risks to the baby - small risks, but I don't want to do anything that could potentially cause harm to the baby or the pregnancy.

As far as symptoms -they are on & off. I still get pretty intense, but very short-lived stabbing/twisting pain in my ute area & I have had this really sharp pain in my butt that radiates down to my leg on my left side. I spoke to the nurse at my OB office & she said it sounds normal. That unless it sticks around for several hours or becomes excruciating, then it's normal to have pains here & there since your body is going through lots of changes. I feel nauseous sometimes, but only when I don't eat often enough, but I haven't thrown up yet, woot! I have gained weight in my mid-section area & have started wearing belly bands with my pants that are a little too tight & they have been working really well for me. I got the exact ones (in black and white) pictured above from Etsy seller RunSystem63 - she has awesome prices...I got two for the price of one Target brand Be Band. Also, Old Navy was having an awesome sale this week, so I got some maternity hidden waistband work slacks in a few colors & some low-rise jeans in a dark wash. I'm a long way from needing the shirts, but my pants are getting pretty tight. If all continues to go well with Baby WB, I'll start posting regular "bump" pics starting at 12 or 13 weeks. I have been taking them since 4 weeks, when we found out I was pregnant, b/c I have this awesome pregnancy journal, called "The Belly Book" by Amy Krouse! It chronicles your pregnancy & belleh thru out your 40+ weeks of pregnancy. It actually starts with week 1, which is a little pointless since you aren't even pregnant by then, so the first 3 weeks are blank in mine.

In GREAT news - we got paid out from our FSA for the $10K we put in, so we paid off that portion of our IVF loan, which takes a huge financial pressure off of us. We are saving about $250 a month in loan payments, holler...all of which will likely go towards saving for stuff we'll need for the baby. The room in our house (the guest room) where the nursery will be is on my spring cleaning list - we need to dispose of or Freecycle the mattress & bed rails, get rid of my old desk, clean out the closet & put in a closet organization system (it's a teeny tiny closet), clear out all the other clutter in the room (it currently holds all of our important papers, my crafts, etc). I can't wait to find out the sex of the baby & get started for real on a nursery! That's all I got for now, hopefully work will calm down & I'll be able to post more often again. Thanks as always for all the continued T&P for baby WB...it means so much to me & Mr. WB!

Lets talk about cravings

So I have hit 14 weeks! Yay! I'm so excited. I never thought the 2nd trimester would be here. Everything seems to be going great. We had an NT scan on last Tuesday. Seems my cervix and the baby are measuring great. Little one is measuring just a little ahead but thats fine with me! Our scan went well. No news is good news says the nurse and the U/S tech said everything looked good.

Whew! Not that I was really worried about it. We just wanted to be prepared if anything was alarming. The nurse did tell me that I needed to eat. Really? No one in my entire life has told me to eat. I normally have NO problem stuffing my face with food. I have problem LOSING weight.

However, it seems little jelly bean is taking all my nutrients and having a feast! My appetite has changed so much since I have gotten pregnant.

For the first time last week I felt hunger again. Normally I just feel nausea. Its so odd. I just can't eat alot. If I do I'm regretting it. I had one slice of pizza the other day and felt like I had eaten the entire pizza! Its so different.

Now lets talk about these cravings I have. At first all I wanted were hamburgers. Hamburgers, Burgers, and more burgers. I just couldn't get enough.

Now I love chickfila nuggets. Or any kind of nuggets. However JUST nuggets. I hate hate hate any other kind of chicken. GROSS!

I'm also on a fruit kick. I don't know what it is something about fruit I just want to eat! Yum! Now last week I really wanted pineapple REALLY bad.

Did I get pineapple? Well not really. I did run to the grocery store and I came out with the following:

Lemon Meringue Pie
Almonds
Peanuts in the shell
Candied Pecans
Pimento cheese (WHO THE HELL EATS PIMENTO CHEESE?)
Strawberries
Croissants
Lays potato chips
Reese Pieces

Notice there is no pineapple in the list. Why did I get most of this stuff? Hell if I know. I just felt like I needed it. Sigh I didn't think my cravings were that bad until I saw what I bought at the grocery store.

Oh and on Saturday night at 10 apparently, I'm not the only one craving a Taco Bell taco. Apparently there are others like me out there!

And for fun!

12 weeks....

So last week's NT Scan went better than we could have ever imagined. Granted, the tech did not get the measurements she needed but we didn't really care because we got to see our baby and watching him/her moving around in there was absolutely amazing. We also got to hear the heartbeat for the first time which was the greatest sound ever. Baby LB was measuring about 3-5 days ahead of schedule. Mr. LB said it was all the yummy food and protein I had over the holidays that gave Baby LB a boost. Lol. He was very proud to say the least. We both shed a tear, it was a very exciting and emotional experience.
The best part is we get to do it all again this Wednesday. Hopefully Baby LB will cooperate this time so they can get the measurements they need. I only have another week and 6 days to get this scan right before it's too late.

Thursday we'll be seeing the OB again. Last time we saw him was at 8.5 weeks so it'll have been 4 weeks since. Looking forward to checking progress according to him. Hoping everything looks like it's supposed to.

The NT Scan definitely made me feel better about everything. Don't get me wrong I still worry but it's much more suppressed. I really wanted to start enjoying this whole experience.
On Saturday DH and I had lunch with MIL and then went to BuyBuy Baby to check it out. They opened a new one about 40 minutes from us (previously the closest was over an hour away). It was awesome. We had a great time checking things out. I wanted to show Mr. LB some of the items I'd been scoping out for the last year. We didn't do our wedding registry in the store but we definitely will with this. After that we went to IKEA and walked around, bought a few things. We spotted a mommy with a version of the stroller I want in a pattern we'd never seen. We asked her where she got it and Sunday I found it online. It's only good for a boy so we'll see. Mr. LB was super stoked about this pattern. So much so he has prohibited me from posting it online because he doesn't want it to be sold out when and if we go to buy it.

It's pretty amazing in itself watching the man you love go through this transformation in to being a dad and getting excited about baby things. If you met my husband you definitely would not get that initial impression of him being a mushy sentimental guy. He's really surprised me. It makes me fall in love with him in a whole new incredible way.

As far as how I've been feeling, I can't complain too much. I've been getting some headaches during the day but nothing unbearable. Still getting nausea at night on some days but again, nothing unbearable. Finding foods that sound appealing is still a task. Cravings are becoming a little more frequent. For the most part the baby has been good to me. I still think it's a boy but honestly I couldn't care either way. As long as he/she is hear and healthy in 6 months I'm a happy camper!

10 weeks & 6 days and post #400!

When I went to start writing today I noticed it said our little blog already had 399 post, so this is #400! Woot.

I hope that those of you that celebrate Christmas had a good one! Mr. LB and I spent it at home together. I made yummy dinners the 24th & 25th. At midnight we opened our gifts. I got a new Coach purse, beautiful necklace and charm from Blue Nile, earrings, and a leopard snuggie :)
My aunt bought LO 3 PJ's, a bib, a bathrobe, little duckie socks and little hat and that little duck you put in the bathwater to check temperature. I got all teary eyed when I opened them all and then promptly put them all n a box and put them away.

Tomorrow will make 11 weeks ::sigh:: and in 3 days we have our NT Scan/Sequential Screening. I really can't shake the concerned feeling. Not so much because of the results because surprisingly those I'm not worried about but just finding out that our LO is doing well. I'll be in another office, with doctors I've never met before.
I think that for the mother's own sanity u/s should be performed every week in the first trimester. Jus' sayin'.

The appointment is at 11:15am. After the appointment Mr. LB and I have plans to go have a nice lunch since Wednesdays are his new day-off.

I've been feeling okay. This last week headaches have been the new thing. I get them the moment I wake up in the morning and then they linger all day. The nausea is becoming much more infrequent. I'm still tired all the time and get cranky when I'm out of the house for too long, but at least I can stay awake during the day. Mind you all these things subsiding worry me too and it actually makes me feel worse to write it all out. I'm really looking forward to hopefully finding out that everything is okay on Wednesday and finally feeling excited about all of this.

I hope to bring back good news and finally stop whining about being worried. I promise I will try to be more fun!