Egg Count Is In

Today we had an appointment with the Dr. and we during the ultrasound we discovered my eggs have been growing like weeds!! I have 12 14-17 mm eggs on my right ovary and 13 14-15 mm eggs on my left, yes that is a whopping 25 eggs growing at the moment. It looks like we will be doing the retrieval Sunday afternoon so hopefully a lot of these eggs will be nice and mature and fertilize well. Tomorrow I go back for another appointment and I have started taking Antagon to mature those eggs and keep them from jumping the gun! I got a call from the Dr.'s office and my blood work shows that yes indeed I am getting ready my Estridial is high and LH levels are starting to rise.

Sittin' Tight.

Not much to say....


I've been on my new BCPs for a week now. Thankfully, this past week flew by!! I'm really hoping that this next one does the same.

I return to my RE's office on April 2nd to see if the cyst has shrunk. Until then, I've been keeping busy with projects around the house. I LOVE Piterest! Is anyone else as addicted as I am? :)




Bossy Bud

Here's the plan, Stan!

Mr. Bossy took off this past Wednesday, and we returned to our RE.

First off, I have to say that we have the BEST RE in the world. She is so kind and really takes an interest in Mr. Bossy & me. She sat down with us and explained that we would be transferring two embryos for our FET. The embryologist will decide on the two that we'll transfer. At first, I was annoyed by this. I like to have a say in major decisions, and I was a little ticked that we wouldn't get to decide. My RE explained that the embryologist knows best and will be able to make the best decision as to which two will hopefully (fingers crossed) attach.

She also explained how much easier a FET will be on my body. She's having me take estrogen and progesterone. That's it. She had previously mentioned that I would take 4 nights of the progesterone in oil shots, then switch me to the suppositories. I had a mental note to ask if I could just stay with the shots. I'd prefer them since they are over with so quickly, and I've heard the suppositories are really messy. Imagine my surprise when (before I could even mention it) she asked if I would like to take the PIO shots only. Without hesitation, I agreed! She actually prefers her patients to continue with the shots but also knows how painful they are, so she doesn't require it. She was pleased that I would prefer to keep taking them.

Mr. Bossy really surprised me when he spoke up and asked if there is anything he needs to do to help us. My RE told him that he'd already done everything and to just relax. Regardless, I thought it was really sweet of him to see what he could do to help our chances.

Now for the frustrating part- Aunt Flo still hasn't arrived. When I mentioned it to our RE, she acted like it was normal. The plan is for Aunt Flow to arrive. Then, we'll get started on the next cycle. I'm so anxious! Our RE said that it is not safe for us to try and conceive on our own this cycle. She went on to explain that 40% of couples that use fertility treatments are able to conceive on their own afterward. She gave us the "all clear" to try naturally the cycle after AF arrives.

In the midst of all of this, we've had two more pregnancy announcements amongst our friends. Does it ever get easier to hear them? ::sigh::



Bossy Bud

Wherefore art thou, Aunt Flo?

Happy 2012!!

Mr. Bossy & I rang in the New Year with friends and family last night (and early this morning). We've just returned from my MIL's after eating black-eyed peas and collard greens. Now, sadly, it's time to take down our Christmas decorations.

I'm so excited to begin the New Year off right. My New Year's resolution is to drink less caffeine (sweet tea is my vice) and more water. Day 1 (so far) has been a great success!

Mr. Bossy & I are also excited to say goodbye to 2011 and all of its sad memories. The good news, though, is that we now know what it takes for us to get pregnant! 2012 WILL be our year. I just need Aunt Flow to arrive. My RE told me that it would take 2-4 weeks after my d & c for my period to arrive. Tomorrow will mark 4 weeks, and there is still no sight of her.

I'll return to see my RE on Wednesday, and to say I'm anxious to begin our FET would be an understatement. Fingers crossed that she gives us the "all clear" to try again.




Bossy Bud

A Trip to the Mailbox.

I had a very unexpected, but very sweet conversation with my neighbor today. My neighbor and I have known each other for years (even before she moved in next door), and she knows about our struggle to become parents. She has always been so positive and sweet.

Today, I walked outside to check our mail and she was outside with her son. We said our usual- "How are you?" and "Ready for Christmas?" Then, she brought it up. She wanted to know how I was doing and when I was returning to my doctor. I was able to keep it together (which is still hard for me) while I explained that I would be seeing my doctor again in two weeks to discuss our FET.

Now- I'm used to people and their usual responses to my situation.
It'll happen. Just give it time.
It wasn't meant to be.
Just be patient.

My neighbor didn't say any of that. She was SO encouraging, and she told me that she KNEW it would happen again for us. If it had happened before, then it WOULD happen again.

For some reason, her words sounded so much more sincere compared to others who have said the exact same thing to me. Her words really struck me, and of course, I started tearing up.

I almost can't even explain how good it felt to hear her say that.

Quick question- It's been two weeks since my d & c, and my doctor said it would take 2-4 weeks for me to get my period again. If anyone has experience with this, how long did it for you to get yours?

Bossy

Appointment Update

So we were supposed to meet with the new RE but due to Mr. Explorer Bud being sick we had to cancel and are looking to reschedule in September after he is back in school. That way I should be back to weight I want to be, Mr. Explorer Bud will have been off caffeine/soda for about 3 months and we will be less crammed with our schedules. I was at first bummed but after some rationalization I was okay and set to meet some of my fitness goals before diving back onto the emotional roller coaster that comes with a new RE and treatments.

Travels with AF

I have been very lucky to be on vacation the majority of July and enjoying being able to focus less on no baby. I have finished reading Unsung Lullabyes which I would say is a must read to anyone going through infertility. I loved reading the whole book and I thought was great how it went over all the emotional side of each stage of infertility even the mental/emotional parts after you have a baby.

So as for vacation I have been working diliegently on my tan and would say I am successfully dark and relaxing and enjoying friends and family. I got to go visit my friend in California who just had her baby and was able to help out so she could get some much needed rest. It is always fun to hold a newborn and have them snuggle up to you, I think that is my favorite stage by far! Then I was able to go to a family reunion and hang out with the little cousins around the ages of 2 and 4 which was soo much fun to see them discovering things and getting soo excited about stuff, probably my next favorite stage.

Inbetween my trips AF arrived and hung around for about 5 days which was pretty average and it has been about 70 days or 10 weeks. So at least there seems to be some consistency of an average 3 month span between AF. We will have to see what the RE thinks at our first appointment this Thursday.

Unexpected Medicine

Since the birth of my friend's daughter sent my week into a tailspin, I was nervous to meet her. I should never had been. The second I held the beautiful girl in my arms, my own sadness about not having a child disappeared. I was content to hold her look at her for hours. My friends are incredibly happy and proud; both were literally beaming as they showed off their new daughter. I may be bias, but I have to say she is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen and I have been plotting how to get back to see her since Friday.

As I was leaving the hospital, I was waiting for the depression to hit me. It really never did; it just made me even more certain that I want a child and will do whatever I can to have one. I can't wait to see Mr. Plannerbud beaming as he passes his child to visitors. I can't wait to see the look on my friends' faces as they fall in love with
my child. I am certain now that we will do what we can and will not give up.

We have our next meeting with our RE on Wednesday. I will be on CD 10, so hopefully that gives us enough time (over 2 weeks) to set up all we need to so we can start with my next cycle. I told you the couple cycle break would quickly go out the window. I will update you ladies after we talk with the doctor. I just hope he has the same ideas in mind as we do.

Another one bites the dust!

I remember when my friends and I would apply that very same phrase to guys in our freshman class at college. None of us really thought that when we went to a college in NYC with a large performing arts program there would be no available guys. The year started with all these available straight men, but slowly...da, da, da, da Another one bites the dust...they all came out at started dating each other. It has been years since I have thought of this anecdote. Sadly now this phrase no longer represents all the men I can't date, but it stands for all the cycles that ended with a BFN...18 to be specific.

Even though we officially started TTC January 2009 (15 cycles ago), we did spend a little time in the limbo land of not-not trying for three cycles. Add all this together and you get 18 cycles with no BFP in sight. To say I am despondent would be an understatement. I have reached the point that I don't think I will ever see a BFP. The dream of having a biological child feels farther away than ever. In a hundred years, I NEVER thought we would be here.

We do have an appointment scheduled with our RE on the 16th to figure out what is next. I am pretty sure we are going to move on to IVF. We have insurance coverage and I don't want to waste any more time with IUIs that obviously do not work. However, I think I would like to take a few months break first, but I am sure that will change if the RE says we can start right away.

At this point I can barely think straight, so I am going to wrap it. Welcome to our new buds. I hope your BFPs come a lot quicker than mine is coming.