Things I Wish I'd Known

Several of these things are specific to being pregnant after a loss, but not all of them. These cover things through about Week 20 or so of the pregnancy. Maybe I'll do another one of these after delivery...



1) Getting pregnant after a loss is scary.

When I was TTC after my loss I had it in my head that getting pregnant again would magically make everything OK. It doesn't. Its scary to be pregnant again with a little one that you want so badly when you know so much about what can go wrong.


2) Spotting doesn't always mean miscarriage.

It can, in fact it did for me the first time around. This time though I spotted a lot (see chart) and he's still very much still around. I guess I'm pretty much a great example of the 50% chance they give you of a miscarriage when you're spotting. Spotting is terrifying though, especially when you've been down the road of it meaning the beginning of the end before.


3) Symptoms can come and go.

For a lot of ladies, the bulk of 1st Tri symptoms don't really start to kick in until around 6-7 weeks. For me, weeks 7-9 were the most worst. Its totally normal to feel nauseous or tired as anything one day and fine the next. The same has held true for my 2nd and 3rd Tri symptoms so far. Movement has come and gone. Swelling has come and gone.


4) Its common for 1st Tri symptoms to drop off around 10ish weeks.

My symptoms completely tanked around 9 weeks and were all but gone by 10 weeks. Turns out a ton of the ladies on Pregnant After A Loss (a board on The Bump) were experiencing the same thing. Pretty sure around that point is when the placenta takes over, making those annoying 1st Tri symptoms fade.


5) Not everyone gets morning sickness (or other 1st Tri symptoms) really bad and every pregnancy really is different.

I'd heard all these horror stories about morning sickness. None of them were true for me. To this day I've not puked when pregnant. I had nausea, sure, but only a handful of times was it to the point where I thought I might puke...and it was never in the morning. I was an evening nausea girl. I never had Super Smell with this pregnancy (did a little with the first one), just a sensitivity to a few odors. With my first pregnancy I was exhausted, this one just a few days here and there.


6) Make Mr. Metamucil your BFF.

Taking Metamucil (I'd recommend the clear and free kind that dissolves in just about anything) can really help you if you get backed up...something that is common in early pregnancy but that people don't often talk about. Other things like colace, fruit, drinking tons of water, etc can also help.


7) The days before ultrasounds are nervewrecking.

Having had my miscarriage confirmed via seeing my empty uterus on the big screen, I was terrified going in for ultrasounds early on. The worst, by far, was the one where I knew there should be a heartbeat but I had no tangible proof that the heart was in fact beating. I was scared beyond words walking into that appointment. Seeing that beautiful flicker was absolutely amazing, there just are no words. I've gotten better about ultrasounds now that I can feel him and he's passed his anatomy scan, but I still worry a little.


8) When you get news that your child might have something that will make his/her life more challenging...nothing else matters.

OK, I kind of knew that in theory going into pregnancy, but processing the news that our little one had a 1:10 chance for Down Syndrome (courtesy of the Quad Screening) was hands down the hardest moment thus far for this pregnancy. I just wanted our child to have the best chance at the best life possible...and hearing s/he might face extra challenges was hard. It did put things into perspective though and helped me realize that as disconnected as I'd felt from this pregnancy (emotionally protecting myself from another loss, I think) that I really did love the baby already.


9) The amnio wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

It was scary seeing the needle in the amniotic sac on the ultrasound screen, but the procedure itself didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. The worst part of the whole experience, by far, was waiting for the results. Given that I'll be of advanced maternal age for future pregnancies, thus increasing my risks for several things the amnio can check for, I'll likely get an amnio instead of the Quad Screening in future pregnancies. So many of the other tests they can do just give you odds of a problem or can't rule things out completely. With amnio they are checking the DNA and you get a definitive answer. Sometimes just knowing one way or the other what is going on is necessary...at least it was for me.


10) The first movements don't always feel like flutters.

For me it felt like a bug was crawling inside of me. Why everyone else gets butterflies and I got a giant beetle...I have no idea. I've heard other ladies describe the feeling they had as it being like a vibrating cell phone.


11) Its totally normal to only feel movement intermittently before the start of 3rd Tri.

Even if your little one has been predictable as anything with their movements, when they are still relatively tiny, sometimes they can get themselves into a position where you can't feel them. Sometimes their sleep/awake patterns can change as well. If you have any concerns, absolutely call your doctor or go into Labor & Delivery (I did)...just go in knowing that in most cases the baby is fine.


12) Registries: Baby Bargains, Lucie's List and a game plan

Walking into a Big Box baby store as a first time parent is overwhelming. I found doing some research beforehand really helped me calm down. I highly recommend the book Baby Bargains (2011), available on Amazon for about $11 (image credit: http://www.amazon.com/). They literally go through and rate every product by pretty much every manufacturer and outline things like features, recalls, etc. The book will more than pay for itself. Seriously. Another thing I found helpful was http://www.lucieslist.com/. This website outlines the bare minimum of what you really need for baby. I don't agree with all the recommendations for big ticket items (a personal preference thing), but the listings of how many of this, that and the other thing you really need was helpful.


When it comes time to actually register, do what you can online. When you go to the store (there will likely be things you'll want to see in person), keep in mind that you don't have to do it all in one day. We did strollers and car seats one week, cribs and pack n'plays the next...you get the idea. You can always tweak it online at home. Oh and another important tip-If you get tired, that's a GREAT time to try out the gliders. Just sayin'.

24 Week Update

How far along: Technically I'm a slacker and am doing the 24 week update a little late. I'm 25 weeks exactly today.

Total weight change: Had a doctors appt in the 24th week. I'm up 5 pounds in the last 4 weeks (apparently pretty par for the course for this stage of pregnancy). I think that brings my grand total to +11.5 at the doctors office. I guess this is the best spot to put that I had my glucose test this week. Passed the 1 hour!

Maternity clothes: I'm actually starting to outgrow some of the maternity clothes I got in 1st Tri. Mostly the belly is starting to poke out the bottom, but one sundress the girls are about to bust out of. Time for more shopping!

Stretch Marks: Still none. Counting my blessings on this one. For now.

Movement: This has been a touchy subject this week. From about Monday-Wednesday I was feeling little to nothing. A very pronounced change from the regular schedule and good wallops he's given me. I had a trip to labor & delivery to check up on him because of this (see previous post). He was fine, just burrowed in deep in my uterus so it was hard to feel him. He seems to be coming out of his hiding place some though. I saw my stomach move for the first time last night. So surreal! Oh & the most classy of all my symptoms this week, I had my very first sniss. Yup, passed the glucose test and snissed for the very first time right after finding out. Classic!

Sleep: Getting to be a joke. I'm up 2-3 times a night for bathroom trips and was up twice last night because my hands fell asleep (circulation issues).

Best Moment This Past Week: Hearing his heartbeat and finally feeling him move again when I was in L&D. I'd been so scared his change in movement was him giving me a sign something was terribly wrong. Finding out he was apparently fine brought tears to my eyes.

Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: Hands down the worry that came with not being able to feel his movements.

Belly Button In or Out: Definitely still in, but I think its getting shallower.

Cravings/Aversions: I've been loving me some brownies this week.

Symptoms: I actually had a decrease in movement for most of the week. New this week is an achiness in my extremities, especially my fingers. I'm not sure if its edema or carpal tunnel brought on by pregnancy...but either way its not too comfy. I've also found that my hands tend to get numb if they are raised above my heart (sleeping positions, carrying something, etc). Heartburn is stepping it up a notch, now coming a few times a week rather than once a week. My energy isn't what it used to be earlier in 2nd Tri either. Oh & I saw movement for the first time just yesterday.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Feeling this little bugger more, last week really gave me a scare. I'm also looking forward to being under a hundred days (double digits!!) during my 25th week.

26 week update and DOUBLE digits!

Here's a quick (but lengthy) update for 26 weeks:

I am in shock that third tri starts this week! Baby is somewhere between 2 and 2.25 pounds, and around 14" long. I'm in maternity clothes most of the time--some tops are still too big, but most are starting to fit really well. I'm up about 20 pounds, and after two straight months of 7-8 pound gains, my weight gain has held steady for the past two weeks. But that means I definitely don't fit into my bathing suits from last year anymore--so I got some new bathing suits last week. It's been in the high 90's here for a few weeks now, and they are C-U-T-E! I decided to eschew true maternity suits in favor of bigger-sized bikinis, and I'm so happy I did. DH and I both LOVE the suits I ended up with, and they're mix-and-match (prints/solids), so I have the equivalent of four new suits, but only had to buy two!

Speaking of weight gain, I've started to notice a few teeny stretch marks, but they're just white-ish and not noticeable unless onlookers are staring at my side-hip right above my hip bones. I've continued moisturizing like crazy, and have even started using Mederma in the hopes they don't get any worse. (I'm very thankful our birth center has free samples :) ). Belly button is still in, but getting wider and shallower. I don't know yet if it's going to become an outie, but that possibility really weirds Mr. MB out. It's funny!

I'm sleeping better now than ever before in this pregnancy. I've finally started to figure out the whole liquid-consumption-before-bed thing, and have realized that if I stop drinking for the night about 8pm, I'll be able to get to bed at 10:30 and only wake up once or twice to pee. It's awesome!

Baby Magnolia Bud is moving around pretty consistently. I feel him/her up around my belly button, and also on the left side, about halfway between my ribs and my pubic bone. Mr. Magnolia Bud loves feeling the baby move, and he gets so excited every time he's able to feel him/her. He talks to the baby most days before we get out of bed, telling him/her things like "Baby, this is your daddy. We can't wait to meet you, but not today. Today you need to keep kicking around inside mommy, but not too hard. Have to go now, I'll see you tonight. Bye baby." It's really adorable, and makes me love him even more than I already do.

My food cravings and aversions have pretty much eliminated themselves. I'm eating frequent, small meals, and trying to make most of them healthy. I still don't remember to take my vitamins every day, but have been eating loads of fruits and veggies to help compensate.

Overall, I really enjoy being pregnant. I get asked occasionally if I miss anything about not being pregnant, and I don't really. Pregnancy hasn't changed much about our lifestyle, and we're going to strive to continue that trend once baby arrives. Our friends that do have kids are really flexible, fun people, who have been able to maintain lives that don't revolve around their kids--but where their kids are involved, treasured, and loved. That's what our goal is.

Here are a few things I'm looking forward to over the next few weeks:
-Next week, Mr. MB and I are spending 4 days/3 nights in Asheville from Thursday to Sunday. I have to be there for work, but it's my work's biggest program of the year, and spouses get to come too. When I'm not working, we're having some great dinners out with friends, taking a hike, going to a black-tie dinner/dance, and relaxing by the pool. He's also participating in a golf tournament and a 5K while I'm working.
-The week of June 27, we're going on vacation all week to the Outer Banks. We're going with Mr. MB's mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law, uncle, aunt, cousin, and our niece and nephew. We have a huge house right on the beach in Duck, and I'm so excited to spend a week sitting on the beach, windsurfing, swimming, and hanging out with DH with no commitments.
-My next appointment is June 27. I have my glucose tolerance test that morning, and then my 28-week appointment just after the test. That appointment marks the start of every-other-week appointments until 36 weeks!
-My first baby shower is July 9! That's 3 weeks from Saturday! I'm going to post separately about the baby showers and registry observations, but I can't believe it's coming up so quickly!

I'll leave you with two thoughts:
-Second tri FLIES by. When my girlfriends told me it would, I didn't believe them--at 13 weeks, it feels like nothing will go quickly. Well, of course they were right. We got so much done over the last 13 weeks, but there's still so many small things to do before baby arrives. I think I'll post separately about home improvement projects we're undertaking over the next 14 weeks.
-Pregnancy really starts to get fun during second tri. You start to look pregnant, you've told everyone, while the worry is still present, it subsides greatly (especially after 24 weeks), and I don't know about the rest of you, but I've really been enjoying being pregnant.

Sending all of you lots of love!
Magnolia Bud

Quick 21 Week Update

(Image credit: Me!)

Hey Everybody!

Just wanted to check in while I have a few minutes. We're back from our trip! Now the fun of moving to a new apartment begins! The trip went well. It was H-O-T though. 90's each and every day. The photo above was taken in Arkansas. Gorgeous view of the lake. Our drive included a quick stop in Joplin, MO...which was eye opening. We weren't able to see the devastation, but I can tell you firsthand that the people there are still needing things as basic as food, water and clothing. There were dump trucks leaving one right after the other with debris and the National Guard was being escorted into town as we were leaving.

Pregnancy wise the trip was ok. I struggled with the trip there. Both my flights had seats that didn't recline, and my back didn't like that much. Then when we were in the home stretch of the drive to our destination, the roads got really curvy which my stomach and inner ears didn't appreciate. The heat and humidity was another challenge, but there was AC and a pool available, so I made the best of it. I did have to retire my wedding ring to a necklace though. I think it would do alright on my finger here where its more arid, but it wasn't happening there. The travels back were much better. Reclining seats really do go a long way.

I felt my first movement from the outside right around the time we left (June 3/4). Felt it again yesterday. Its really strange being able to tell which body part is whacking you. Yesterday, for example, it was a distinct baby fist punching me. The Mr hasn't felt the movement yet, I suppose that will come with time.

I'm starting to get some of the not-so-fun symptoms of pregnancy, too. Things like swelling (especially in that heat) and lightning crotch and varicose veins. Don't get me wrong, I'll deal with them 1,000 times over if it means a healthy baby in the end...they just aren't on my highlight reel of fun times.

Overall things are going well. He's moving each and every single day, which I love.

I hope everyone is doing well!

Big Day!

Today has been a busy one!

The card I sent to my parents to let them know about their upcoming grandbaby arrived today. The beans are officially spilled! Once I got off the phone with them, I sent an ultrasound picture to the other members of our immediate families to let them in on the news. So far everyone seems to be really excited. Still haven't heard from a few people, hoping we hear soon so we can know its OK to tell additional people. Trying to avoid something being posted on Facebook or the like before certain people we want to know before the masses find out. The best part of all the bean spilling conversations so far was talking with my mom. I'd been worried for awhile that they might not be able to come out here when the baby arrives since finances are tight with them...and she made it clear she was planning on a visit. Yay!

The other reason today is a big day is that if you go by the 40 weeks divided by 3 to get 3 trimesters...I'm there today (13 weeks 3 days). I'm honestly in shock that we've made it to this point. Back when we got the positive test, I honestly didn't think we'd make it to 6 weeks...making it to 2nd Tri feels like a miracle. So, so very thankful for every day that Baby Cactus Bud stays put.

I suppose I should also do a 13 week update since I haven't yet.

So far this week things are going well. Was wicked nauseous the other evening, but other than that, no nausea or morning sickness to speak of. I'm still pretty tired in the afternoons. I joke about it being "Group Naptime" now since at the NT Scan the baby was apparently napping and it was right when I usually sleep...plus our dog always is game to join in on the napping, lol.

I do have two new and notable symptoms this past week though. Well, perhaps I should call them possible symptoms as I'm not positive that they were what I think they were. I'm pretty sure two different nights this week I've felt movement. It was really faint and very fleeting. Sort of felt like a bug running inside of my uterus. Not sure why everyone else gets butterfly flutters for a visual and I get one of a June Bug...but there ya have it. Both times it was at bedtime as I was relaxing with a book. The other notable possible symptom was possible Braxton Hicks contractions. I was a bad girl the other day and was a slacker with my water intake, and had a pretty notable cramp-like pain in one spot near my uterus. Put my hand on it and it was rock-hard. It went away like a minute later, but returned for a bit soon after. Anyone out there think either of these descriptions could be movement or Braxton Hicks?

No big changes with the other stuff I usually include in my weekly update. Definitely the high points of this week have been today: Telling our loved ones and moving on to 2nd Tri.

Hope all is well with everyone!

Take care,
Cactus Bud

Riverdance!

It's about freakin' time.

Last night, after a terrible day at work, I was treated to about 15 minutes of baby movement. We pulled out the doppler, and sure enough, every movement we heard, I felt. Smudge really seems to be the midnight party animal.

Photo Credit

Then again this morning, when I woke up, i got 2 little thumps to let me know s/he wasn't danced out yet.

I can't wait until our anatomy on Thursday... hopefully we'll see an example of what was going on last night.

I'm so happy that I could finally feel Smudge. Even though Mr. DB knew he couldn't feel yet, he was really excited and put his head on my belly and kissed it.

Almost at the half way point - and we can't wait to meet Smudge.

Maternity leave plan + 18 weeks!!

...I interrupt this regularly scheduled blogging to bring some GREAT news - this past weekend, I started feeling something I had heard described, but never knew if I'd actually know it if I felt it. The sensation of popcorn popping down low in my pelvic area. I am pretty positive that it is Baby Worry Bud moving around in there & I am soooo excited! Love her. It's still nothing I feel regularly, but it does happen a few times a day - it actually just happened a second ago. :) Keep moving away in there Baby WB!!

The past few weeks I have been working on trying to get a few things on my "Getting Ready for Baby Worry Bud" list done & it's a doozie! One of the more immediate things on my list was to really sit down & take a look at my job's maternity leave policy, then sit down with an HR representative to discuss my plan/options. I had that meeting on Monday, then spoke briefly with my first level supervisor (he's actually not really, he is just a team leader...it's complicated, lol), but the overall news is that everything with my leave looks like it'll work out how I'd hoped! God-willing, if this pregnancy continues to go smoothly & with relatively no complications that require me to cease working, then I plan to work up until my EDD. I can work past that if Baby WB does not make an appearance before then - I'm actually halfway expecting her to be a little late - seems to happen with first time moms more often than not (barring any complications). Working up until/around my EDD will bring me to the beginning of November & I plan to take off 12 weeks for maternity leave. That means (much to my excitement), I'll be out on leave over all the major fall/winter holidays, including Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Years - yay! I have enough sick & annual leave to cover 11 weeks of paid time, so the final week I'll either take leave without pay (spaced out over several pay periods/weeks) or do five telework days during the last few weeks of my maternity leave, so that I can stay out of the office through the last full week in January. Also, since we are coming up on the busiest time of year in my industry, I may end up working some additional hours & getting some comp time this summer. And with the way my work load looks these days, it won't be a problem to accrue 40+ hours of comp time in the next 3 or so months. Hopefully things will calm down soon though, sigh.

This week, Baby WB is the size of a sweet potato (Photo Credit)! She's getting so big! The Bump confirms she's spending her time moving away in there - kicking, punching, rolling, hiccuping, twisting, etc. So cute. I wish I could have a look at her every day. :oP I am feeling pretty good still - just random aches & pains here & there (growing pains I think), heartburn, sore boobs, getting sleepy early. In other news, my side of the bed is turning into a pillow fortress. Poor Mr. WB can't even spoon me, which I know he LOVES to do! ;oP But even if he tried, it's physically impossible b/c I have pillow behind me (for back support), in front of me (belly support), two between my legs (hip/back support) & one under my head, hahaa. I REFUSE to buy one of those maternity pillow thingys b/c what in the heck will I do with it after the baby is born? And I despise clutter...so regular pillows it is for me!

I think people who don't really know if I'm pregnant (mostly at work) or not, are really starting to notice this week. A few people have asked me that oh so uncomfortable question - are you pregnant or uhhhh...? I feel like that's a DANGEROUS question to ask a woman, you know? So I never ask people, I just wait patiently for the "popping" of the bump (or for the person to talk about the baby), LOL. I think maybe the "popping" has started happening with me! Here is this week's bump pic @ 18 weeks exactly:


I'm in maternity pants/jeans full time (minus my yoga pants), my maternity shirts are still kinda big, but then my regular ones are getting a little short too! I am wearing my very first maternity dress this weekend to one of my good friend's wedding! The dress is so pretty & I'm excited for her wedding - I know she will be a breathtaking bride!! Then, next week we get our official anatomy scan, after which, I plan on ordering Baby WB's bedding & we are going to register for Baby WB's shower!! Can't wait to see my little girl again! Until next time!

75 Days and Counting...

I know I just posted last night but I'm feeling a bit of an AW today - and I still haven't had my "sit down" with my boss... UN-patiently waiting... however it's been a busy morning and she's been on the phone so I haven't gotten a chance to step in and check on it.

ANYWAY! Since after about 25 weeks thebump.com only gives you a fruit update every month I completely forgot!!! We are 29 Weeks and 2 Days... only 75 days to go!!!

Baby GB is now the size of a Squash!!!

Here's what thebump.com says Baby GB is up to this week:

"Baby's energy is surging, thanks to white fat depositing beneath his skin. And since he's growing so fast (weight will triple by birth), things are getting kind of cramped in the womb. What all this means for you: Get ready for some more kicks and jabs to the ribs."

Um yes thank you... I have what I think you would consider the shortest torso EVER so I'm feeling those rib jabs - they hurt!

Is That Popcorn You're Cooking?

Nope... but it sure feels like it!!!

For the last week I've been feeling these flutters or whatever you want to call them?! I've read that some women describe them as popcorn popping, a goldfish swimming around, or butterfly flutters. To me, it really does feel like little pops every once in a while. They are really hard to describe but I'm certain it's Baby GB tumbling around in my belly. I'm not one to tell another "You'll just know" but in all honesty... you will and it's amazing!

Photo Credit

The first time I felt it, I was sitting at my desk at work last Monday. I felt some flutters and for a minute or so I just sat there, not moving, barely breathing, waiting for it to happen again. And it did! Over and over for about 30 seconds!

I knew it had to be coming soon since I'm almost 20 Weeks. I've heard that first time mom's usually don't feel (or recognize) movement from sometime between 18 and 22 weeks, even though your LO has been tumbling around since 7 weeks. Most chalk it up to gas or hunger pains which I probably did early on!

Over the last week the flutters have become more and more frequent. Now whenever I'm relaxing I just sit and breath for a few and usually I feel some tumbling... it's great!