Nothing but confusion this morning.

Today I am 8 DPO.......or at least I think I am 8 DPO. Remember I only half assed charted this month. Anyway, because I have no self control I decided to test this morning at 6 AM and I was totally prepared to get a BFN. I peed on the stick, waited for a few minutes, checked the test, saw a BFN and then went back to bed. Once I was in bed I told myself I was a complete idiot for testing 8 DPO because the odds of getting anything but a BFN is astronomical. And besides, I have been trying for a year, what makes me think that I could possible be pregnant this time around.

Fast forward to 8 AM. The baby was up so before getting her out of her crib I decided to fish the HPT out of the trash and to torture myself one last with my stark white test. But then, there it was. A FAINT line. And I do mean FAINT. Faint enough that I couldn't get the line to show up on a pic so I could ask what you guys think. But Mr. PB&J saw the line too so at least I know I'm not delusional. Or if I am, he is too.

::sigh::

I don't know what to think. Odds are it's an evaporation line, right? I mean, I don't want to get my hopes up only to discover I am an idiot who is grasping at straws.

But, what if I am pregnant? OMG, what if I have another miscarriage? What if I don't? I wonder what the due date will be? Let's look on the internet. No wait, I shouldn't get ahead of myself. Oh what the hell. Wow, my due date is December 9, 2011. One day after Little PB&J's two year birthday. Hmm, should I call my mom and tell her? No, I should wait. ::reality check:: Deep down you know it's an evaporation line, stop thinking happy thoughts.

::sigh::

I guess I am going to run out to Dollar Tree a little later today and buy some HPT. I have some more First Response Tests in my cabinets but I would hate to waste those. I will update my post later with the results. Fingers crossed......

**Update**

Here is a pic of the test I took this morning. But, I have come to my senses and I am calling it an evap line. Ugh. Sorry for the false alarm! TTC can make you lose reason.....

PB&J Bud :)

faint line limbo

I now have in my hands 4 hpts with lines so faint that I need my glasses to see the line. On the one hand, a line is a line. On the other hand, by this time in my last cycle (8d3dt or 11dpo) I had a faint but unmistakable positive. This time I need magnification and a bright light to see the line. Granted, I'm using a different brand of test than last time (similar cheapie internet strip), so perhaps these aren't as sensitive. I'm also worried that I may be seeing evap lines. But then again, I have another 5-6 hpts that don't have the line. I also used one to test Mr. GB's urine and his has no line.

Here you can see what I'm talking about. I had to tweak the contrast to make the line stand out. Sorry about the bizarre colors.

Here's another view with a series of tests. Mr. GB's test from this morning is on top. I have a few other clear negatives that I didn't include because their surfaces were kind of scratched and they were hard to read.

I have too much time on my hands!

So here I wait for the evening to test again, which is when I seem to get better results.

Ugh.

Praying for a line,
Golden Bud

What a week.

As you may recall, I am not charting this cycle.

I tested on Tuesday, assuming I could be anywhere from 9-11DPO. Early, yes, but I figured.. why not?! Wouldn't you know it- I saw a hint of a second line. Kind of like a now you see it, now you don't type of line. I showed Mr. Sassy Bud, and he said he saw it too. I was in total disbelief. Of course I brought 2 HPT's with me to work, held my pee for a few hours, and tested again. Nothing. Later that afternoon- still nothing. I hoped that I just needed FMU so I decided to wait until the next morning.

Wednesday morning's test- no trace of a second line. Of course! I can't be the person to stop charting, test early, and actually get a surprise BFP.
I've concluded that what I saw was an evaporation line. They are not common on pink dye tests (I used an internet cheapie) but they do happen. Lucky me, I got to experience one.

The week was not all bad, though. Wednesday I went for the first step of the interview process for my dream job. It was basically a rundown of the position, along with some intense written testing. I found out that if I do get the job, I am required to relocate outside of my state due to the nature of the position. After a mild panic attack about leaving my home and friends, I am actually excited. How often do you get the chance to basically take a map of the US and pick the place that you want to live?! I am really hoping I can make it through the rest of the process. It will be difficult but I want it badly and I am going to do my best to get there. I should get the test results in 7-10 days.
I also got my final grade of the term on Wednesday. I got an A!! Not only that, but it was in the most difficult, time-consuming, challenging, and overall HORRIBLE class that I have taken so far. It also happens to be my first A of my law school career. Typically, I strive for mediocrity (aka a passing grade). So, the BFN was definitely overshadowed by great things.

Today is CD 28. Of the cycles that I have O'd while charting, they have been 26, 27, and 27 days. So- not really sure what is happening to my body, except maybe another annovulatory cycle. I suppose I need to test again at some point, but I'm not sure I can handle another BFN after the disappointment of this week.

Next week is our big trip so I will update after we get back unless there is other news to share!

~Sassy Bud