Embryo Retrieval

Today was the embryo retrieval and we were got 22 eggs!! We will know tomorrow how many were mature and fertilized. I think the most we have ever had was 14 eggs retrieved before so we will see how the larger number fares. I am definitely the most sore after this retrieval than I have ever been but that is probably due to the the number of eggs I was growing. I have been napping and relaxing with a little pain killers tonight and tomorrow should be feeling better.

Egg Retrieval

Yesterday was the Egg Retrieval at 8am. I was glad our time got moved up on Tuesday so I didn't have to wait around for the procedure. Mr. Explorer Bud got up and got to work with his sperm sample while I got ready for the procedure and took care of the dog. We hopped in the car right on time and zipped down to the Dr.'s office. The Dr. did an ultrasound to make sure that I hadn't ovulated yet and that everything looked good for the procedure. Then my nurse came in and took my vitals and asked me a bunch of questions about what I am allergic to and other health issues that may pose a problem being put under. I was then taken to the back room which was way more high tech looking than in Panama. In Panama it was the anesthesiologist, the Dr. and the Embryologist on a normal looking exam table. Here it was a bit intimidating the huge leg stirrups and arm pads where they tied my arms to (after I was out cold). I had my own nurse, the Dr., the Dr.'s nurse, the anesthesiologist and the embryologist.

I don't even remember getting the medicine to knock me out in the IV I just remember laying there and then waking up in the next room. So weird but I am very glad I get knocked out for the procedure. I have read that some Dr.'s don't put you under and how very uncomfortable it is, which with how sore my ovaries are right now it would be unpleasant!

We were able to get 15 eggs retrieved, 15!! Everyone was really surprised that there were that many in there. So we get to wait and see how many will fertilize and when our transfer date is.

I feel soo blessed that this cycle went from thinking about cancelling it due to poor response to 15 eggs retrieved. There has been some definite miracles and blessings here throughout this cycle. I am also amazed at the technology that we have to be able to conceive a child when otherwise there would be very little chance of us having a child of our own without adoption.

Retrieval is Scheduled

Today we had our 4th IVF appointment with the Dr. The eggs are looking great, we have one 18 mmm, 3-4 17 mm, 1 16 mm and 4 15 mm eggs. I took a shot of Lupron tonight at 8:30 and we will do the transfer 8:00 am Tuesday morning. I will POAS tomorrow morning to make sure that I have enough HCG in my system and if not I will need to take more HCG to make sure they can get the eggs on Tuesday.
I am feeling really excited because things are progressing and feeling like they are back on track. My lining is continuing to look great and the eggs are growing good so I feel positive about this cycle. I wonder if my body will do better because the cycle is longer, more like my natural cycle is. I have never had a 28 day cycle so maybe when doing IVF forcing my cycle to fit into that 28 days wasn't working for it. Who really knows but that is the only thing different this third time around, so I am hoping that will be a positive. Oh and tomorrow is my one day of no shots!! Tuesday I start up with the Progesterone shots which I am not looking forward to but I will just focus on the one day of no shots!!

Egg Retrieval

Today was the big day, the egg retrieval. I went in at 9:00 am for the procedure and was feeling great. The past two days I had some discomfort in my ovaries but that day I felt great and was ready to go. Besides how could I not be feeling great with the amazing get up that they give you for the procedure!!



The Dr. was able to retrieve 12 good sized eggs and Mr. EB arrived a 1/2 hour after the procedure to give his sample, so Monday I can call the Dr. and see how many fertilized and the time and day for the transfer. This time around I am feeling a lot more discomfort after the retrieval. I am not sure if it is because of more eggs or what but I am enjoying the Tylenol! The Dr. gave me my long list of meds that I get to start taking now. Estrogen patches, estrogen pills, progesterone shots, baby Asprin, loads of folic acid and an antibiotic. Oh the fun pill popping resumes but it is better than all the shots in the stomach!

For those of you that don't know what happens with an egg retrieval I found this great explanation and video.

"The egg retrieval is performed thirty-six hours after hCG injection. You are given sedation by an anesthesiologist through an intravenous catheter, a small tube in an arm vein. You are not completely asleep, but in a sort of twilight state; you remember very little of the retrieval. After you are sedated, the vagina is washed with a salt water solution. A needle is placed under ultrasound guidance into the ovary and fluid and eggs from the follicles in your ovaries are collected into a test tube and sent to the IVF lab. The whole procedure takes about 30 minutes, and discomfort is generally minimal. On average eggs will be retrieved from over two thirds of the follicles.

Click here to view laboratory footage of an oocyte retrieval."

Lots of Follicles

So I purchased a GPS map of Panama to download onto my friend's GPS that they lent me so we would hopefully avoid getting as lost as last time. Panama is seriously lacking with their road signage. Even in the city it is horrendeous!! Anyways so today on the way to the appointment I decided to go with Mrs. GPS and she proceeded to lead me across the canal towards the coast, granted I would love to go to the beach than go into the city but the city was where we were expected!! Mrs. GPS then proceeded to tell me to turn right as we are crossing the bride, on the highway to get me to turn around, which I would've done if there was a road to turn onto!! Anyways we got to our appointment 20 minutes late and of course it was a jam packed day for the office and we had to wait for about 45 min's before seeing the Dr.

Today I have 17 follicles, yes 17!! Last round of IVF I had 10 which I thought was pretty good. Of the 17, 12 are a good size that will probably be good quality eggs. That should leave us with a lot of options on what we can put back in!! So tonight I will take my trigger shot of Lupron at 11:00 pm and will do the aspiration on Saturday morning at 9:00 am. Of course Mr. Explorer Bud will be arriving at the airport at 10:24 as I am recovering from anethesia, so Eric,our medical tourism contact, will figure out getting him picked up and to the hospital to give his sperm to the Dr. It is funny that in Panama, or at least at this office they do not provide any lubrication, magazines or anything they just have to go to the bathroom to give the sample. Mr. Explorer Bud felt a bit awkward since he felt like everyone knew what he was doing in there and just waiting for him to come out!! I can only imagine what that would be like!! Good thing I get to be knocked out and resting!!

Oh and the drive went well today and we found a new way to come back to the apartment so we don't have to drive through craziness!!

Egg Retrieval & The Notebook...

What can I say about my new RE Dr. T? I absolutely adore him. My Egg Retrieval yesterday went really well. Dr. T retrieved 33 eggs. This was a shock to me because at my old clinic for IVF #1, I stimmed longer and on a much, much higher dose of Follistim. Now that I am at home I am curled up in bed and I am watching the Notebook for the very first time. I am really enjoying thus far... FERT REPORT is tomorrow.

ER and Fert Report

Yesterday was egg retrieval day. I went in at 9am and they brought me back to the room where they do the ER's, which looked like a hospital. I was completely under for the procedure so I don't remember anything about it, but the whole experience wasn't too bad. I laid in the bed for an hour or so after and then Mr. Sassy Bud drove me home. I spent most of the day sleeping afterward. I am not in much pain today and I am back at work.

The doctor also called with our fert report this morning. We had 28 eggs retrieved yesterday. Out of those 28, 24 were mature, and they fertilized 20!!

We are definitely looking at a 5 day transfer with that many embryos, so I will go back on Monday for the ET. My cycle has gone so well that this has to result in a BFP, right? I'm scared to even think that far in advance.

Tonight I start progesterone shots (PIO) so that should be fun. They are supposed to be the worst of the shots that I have taken so far, but at this point I am not really phased by anything.

I will update after the ET unless I hear any other news on Saturday when they call with an update.

Triggering tonight!

I can't believe it's time already.

Today was my final monitoring appointment. The RE said everything looks great and I will be triggering tonight! That puts the egg retrieval on Wednesday morning. The nurse should be calling this afternoon with the exact time that I take the trigger shot.

Stims were not too bad at all. I had a headache one day, and I am extremely bloated. I did end up with a skin infection that I am guessing was from all the hormone changes, but that is almost cleared up and isn't causing me any discomfort anymore.

I tried to keep track of how many follicles there were this morning, but honestly there were so many I lost track! My lining was at 11.1 and the RE said that was a great number. I am glad that there have been very few issues during my cycle. I guess we are lucky that MFI was the only thing that was keeping us from getting pregnant.

I will update after the retrieval. Hopefully I have lots of eggs!

Twenty four

Just got the call--our donor's egg retrieval is Tuesday, our 3rd anniversary. I hope this is a good sign. What's definitely a good sign is the number of mature follicles she has--24! Wow wow WOW!

In the meantime I've been drinking POM juice and thinking thick thoughts. I was trying to remember what I'd done differently in past cycles and I realized one major difference--I was taking baths almost nightly right up until embryo transfer. For whatever reason I hadn't been taking baths this time, so I took one last night. And I'll take another tonight and tomorrow and then see what Tuesday's ultrasound brings.

I also found a great blog post from an RE, Dr. Licciardi, that talks about how lining thickness might not be that critical (scroll down to The Endometrium Part III). It gave me a lot of hope.

Til Tuesday,
Golden Bud

I spoke too soon

In my last post I said my uterus rules.

Apparently, it does not.

On Friday I went in for a lining and estrogen check. As soon as the vag-cam was in place I knew something was wrong. I barely recognized my own uterus. Turns out my lining is thin, which is yet another new problem for me. Can you believe my terrible luck?

The nurse called in the doctor and they checked all my old lining stats and pictures from my last hysteroscopy (during my D&C). The doctor doesn't think it's a physical issue, like scarring, just a poor cycle. Last time (my previous donor cycle) by this point my lining was 9 something. This time it's 5.6. They want at least 7, and the nurse told me she'd seen twin pregnancies on a 6 so that's the bare minimum. Fortunately my transfer is over a week away, which they tell me is plenty of time to build my lining. The doctor gave me estrogen suppositories and I've been drinking POM juice and raspberry leaf tea, two home remedies to build lining. My estrogen test came back at 441, which is a good number (they want >150), but at this point I think lining thickness is more important than estrogen level.

In other news, my donor had been in earlier that morning for her Day 8 ultrasound. The nurse gushed that the donor looked great and was doing really well. She had 15 measurable follicles plus another 40 or so. Our donor is going in for another ultrasound on Sunday and they may have her trigger then, which means her egg retrieval will be Tuesday, which happens to be our 3-year anniversary. I love the thought of our children being conceived on our anniversary--it would be a fitting beginning to the next step of our journey.

I go in for another ultrasound on Tuesday to check my lining again. I hope hope hope it's thickening up. I don't know what else they can try...I've heard that Viagra suppositories also work...maybe I'll end up on those. I was also thinking of making an acupuncture appointment. It never did much for my follicles by maybe it'll work for my lining (ironically I threw out her business card on Friday. Serves me right). Thank goodness we are planning for a 5-day transfer to buy a little more time. Worst case we'll have to freeze everything and start a frozen embryo transfer ASAP. Fortunately I think we have a really good chance of having a good number to freeze, so my lining issues aren't the end of the world, but still, talk about stress I don't need!

I've also been shopping for my donor gift. Mr. GB will deliver it to the clinic when he goes in to give his sample. Her favorite color is teal and she likes yoga, so I got her a teal notebook, votive, and an "OHM" necklace. I still need to write her a note...I'm so not good at that part. I'm sure I'll think of something.

Til Tuesday!
Golden Bud

And the journey continues...

Thank you readers and Buds for the warm welcome yesterday. It feels good to be here.

So back to my TTC journey. A quick review of the Golden Bud TTC timeline thus far

• 12/07: Start TTC
• 10/08: RE visit, fertility tests
• 12/08: IVF #1: cancelled on Day 8 due to no response
• 3/09: IVF #2: 2 follies, 2 eggs, 1 embryo, BFN
• 10/09: IVF #3: 2 follies, 2 eggs, 1 embryo, BFN
• 12/09: Start the donor egg process
• 3/10: Donor cycle

A lot of women talk about how hard it was for them to move on to donor eggs. For me the decision was a relief. I could finally stop throwing good money after my bad eggs, and the odds were so good that I couldn’t help but be giddy about the whole process, which goes a little something like this:

• Month 1: More testing. Most of my tests had expired after 1 year, so I needed an SHG (less painful than the HSG) and blood work, and Mr. GB needed a new SA and blood work. We were also required to meet with a psychologist and a geneticist. Not sure we go sure we got our money's worth in return, but the $350 for both was just a drop in the bucket so I didn't complain.

• Month 2: Mock cycle, which is basically a trial run of using the estrogen patches to test my lining. Mr. GB also had genetic tests done because we thought we were getting good pricing on the testing (we didn’t--long story). No genetic issues turned up, so we decided not to test the donor.

• Month 3: Donor selection & cycle—yippee!

Now it was time to select a donor. I admit I was a little naïve about the selection process. I thought I'd make it fun by booking a date for Mr. GB and me to bring our laptops to Panera and look at donor profiles over dinner. What I discovered was that most of the donors I liked were already booked. This process was actually the hardest thing about IF thus far and I was unusually cranky for a few days. At the time I really wanted to find a donor just like me—looked like me, built like me, personality like mine. It wasn't until this process that I think I finally mourned the loss of my genetics and any coincidental resemblance to me. Fortunately a donor I liked became available, and my whole outlook changed. It takes some women months to find the right donor. It took me about a week.

So why did I choose our donor? She had blue eyes (like ours), fair skin (like ours), brown hair (like Mr. GB), wavy hair (like me), and 0+ blood (like ours). I also really liked her personal statement—she sounded just like me. She looked more like Mr. GB than me, so I figured at least our children would strongly resemble Mr. GB and not some other woman. I admit I did not obsess over her family health history, her occupation or grades, or her ancestry.

I put down our deposit before I even asked about her donation history. Another terribly naïve thing to do. Turns out she had 4 successful recipient pregnancies and I was thrilled! But I misunderstood the stats and thought that “0 embryos frozen” meant that none of the recipients had done a frozen cycle. What that really meant was that despite her successful recipient pregnancies, she’d never had embryos survive to freeze. But I let the 100% success rate go to my head and thought we’d have twins and be done with babymaking. Did I mention I was naive?

From the get-go I had a bad feeling about the cycle. I tend to be very intuitive and a little superstitious. My feeling of dread was caused by these events:

• Day 5 of stims: Donor coordinator calls and says the donor is responding great and her meds have been reduced. My intuition says OVERSTIM! Immature eggs! Failure!

• Day of ER is the day of the “spring forward” time change. I was paranoid that they would get her retrieval time off by an hour, and either the eggs would be gone or immature.

• Day after ER: Embryologist calls. Bad news. Of 20 eggs retrieved, only 8 were mature. Her worst cycle ever. So I was right about my fears of overstimming. The embryologist was happy with the fert rate though—6 fertilized—but all I could think was that we only got 4 more eggs than I can produce myself.

• Day of ET: Day 3 transfer of 2 embies. Saw a different RE than the one who’d done my previous 2 transfers. My bladder was overfilled and the RE had difficulty doing the transfer. So much so that the embryologist started to get worried. The RE put the embies back in the dish and kept trying. The second time was successful, but I couldn’t help but think that the embryos may have been damaged in the shuffle.

• Freeze report: Nothing made it to freeze. I wasn’t surprised, but I was still devastated. This was the most upset I’d been to date.

Call me a Debbie Downer, but by this point I was really worried. I spent a few days on the couch pouting and I was convinced we’d failed.

I think I'll wrap this up for today.

Til then,

Golden Bud

I have embies!!!

Yesterday was my egg retrieval and it went better than we could have hoped. I was very nervous beforehand, but it was a piece of cake. I changed into my lovely hospital gown, hat and booties, laid on the table, the anesthesiologist set up my IV and...that's all I remember! I was completely out of it and couldn't even tell you how long it lasted. The next thing I remember is waking up in a different room and the doctor telling me he retrieved EIGHT eggs. I was so excited since at my last ultrasound on the 10th we only saw five. I think three of them must have been a little camera shy =) but I'm glad they found their way out. I rested for a bit, got my first progesterone shot (which didn't hurt but I'm sure the fact that I had just been under anethesia had something to do with that!), and then Mr. CB brought me back to our Panama apartment. I am SO happy that we rented an apartment instead of just having a hotel room. It is so comfortable and big, and being able to cook meals and relax on our balcony is awesome.

I felt great last night. I had some minor cramping, but nothing too bad. Mr. CB still insisted on taking care of me, and I didn't resist! He made me dinner, massaged my feet and went out to get me ice cream for dessert. He's a good man.

Today we went out for a little sightseeing around Panama City's oldest neighborhood. Before our walking tour, we stopped by the clinic (it's right across from our apartment) to check on our eggs. The clinic here doesn't do a day 1 morning fert report as they don't like to disturb the embryos, but Dr. Perez told me yesterday I could check back to see how many of my eggs were mature. He told me all eight were mature, and that SIX fertilized normally! I am so happy to have six embies growing strong. I can't wait until Thursday to hear how they have progressed. This is the hardest wait so far, and I'm glad it's a short one.

Mr. CB and I are really enjoying our time together. This is the longest we've ever had to spend together without work or other interuptions, and I'm loving every minute of it. We were lucky that our trip coordinated with my birthday (on the 3rd) and our 3rd wedding anniversary, which is tomorrow. I feel like it's been a lucky and blessed few weeks! Here's a wedding pic in honor of our anniversary...

My transfer is Thursday at 2:30 PM (1:30 PM EST). I have such a great feeling about this!

An Overdue Update

Hola! I apologize for not updating sooner, but we've had spotty internet service and have been super busy exploring this amazing country. I am in LOVE with Costa Rica. We haven't even left yet and I already can't wait to come back!

First things first, let me get you up to date on our medical progress. I had my follie check on Wednesday, July 7th and it was a little disappointing. I had 7 follicles that were measuring between 10 and 14 mm, and my lining was a measly 4 mm. I will be honest and say that I was positive that I would have over 10 follicles. I had 8 at my last failed IUI, and now I am doing stronger meds and for a longer amount of time. I teared up in the bathroom as I was changing, but Dr. Perez assured me (as did my friends who are in the know with IVF) that it's QUALITY over quantity. The follicles are growing together, and it's much better to have a few great eggs than a bunch of mediocre ones. The lining was definitely a concern, as I knew it probably would be, and Dr. Perez prescribed estrogen patches to help it along.

My second follie check was today, and the great news is that my lining is 7.4! That's the same as my last IUI, and the thickest I've gotten it. Plus, I still have a few days for it to fatten up even more before transfer. Today Dr. Perez only recorded 5 good sized follicles, so some decided to stop growing or maybe there are even some hiding. I am in a great place mentally right now and I am totally trusting that everything is going to work out. I know my 5 are rock stars!

I have to set my alarm for 3 AM tomorrow to do my trigger shot, then we fly to Panama early Monday morning and egg retrieval is set for 3 PM, Panama time! I can't believe we are already here! I am super excited, but nervous as well. I've never been under any kind of anesthesia, and the unexpected does make me nervous. But I know everything will turn out just right. I had already looked up my estimated due date in anticipation of having my ER on the 12th (just trying to be positive =), and it would be April 4, 2011. That is my Granny's birthday, and she passed away over 6 years ago. She was the most amazing woman ever, and I know for sure that she will be looking over us through this huge event in our lives.

Our adventures in Costa Rica have been unbelievable. After we left the volcano, we headed to Monteverde, where we ziplined through the rain forest and over huge mountain valleys, and also hiked in the Monteverde Cloud Forest. We saw the rare and famous quetzal (a bird that people from all over the world travel to CR to see) and hiked to the continental divide and a waterfall.

We headed next to the beach and Manuel Antonio. We visited the national park with a guide and saw a ton of sloths, monkeys and even a boa constrictor. We hit the beach for the afternoon where Mr. CB had a chance to surf and had some amazing meals. The best part of the stay there was our visit to La Reserva, where a friend has an amazing house. It was between rentals so we were able to enjoy the infinity pool for the entire morning and then had a couples massage on the back deck. It was ultimate relaxation, and just what we needed to relieve some tension before heading to Panama.

Now we are in San Jose and plan to spend tomorrow in the city checking out some historical sites, the market and finding a fun place to watch the World Cup final. Then bright and early Monday it's off to Panama for the next step of our adventure! We have internet in our apartment in Panama and I'll be on bed rest that first night so I will make sure to update you on our ER.

Pura Vida!

How About a Fertilization/Transfer All-In-One?

I realize I never blogged about an egg retrieval. There's a reason for it. They hurt like a motherless goat, and i'm really not myself for a few days after. Maybe one day I will... but typically by the time I feel like getting back online after an egg retrieval, i have more news to share...

Enter the fertilization (fert) report.

Or actually this time... don't.

The only phone call I got this time was that fertilization had occurred. I didn't get any details, despite numerous requests. I was really upset. I cried a lot. I pictured a lot of worst case scenarios. But then I thought about last time... when Dr Z called us himself to tell us about the abysmality of our fert report.

But, I guessed that hearing from Nurse F and not Dr Z had to be a good sign. Even though I REALLY wanted to know. I mean, this time we had 13 (!!!!!) eggs. As an example, last time we had 6 shitty eggs. Only 5 were mature and only 3 fertilized. We took those 3 (which turned into less than sub par embryos) to transfer- and we all know what happened next.

But 13.... i could picture it in my head. 10 were going to be mature. 8 were going to fertilize and we might actually get embryos to freeze!!!

I had to wait until my transfer to find out for sure.

And, I was wrong.

And once I found out i was wrong, i realized I would have been upset not knowing those three days, anyway.

Of 13 eggs, only 7 were mature and of those 7 only 4 fertilized. we lost one of those on day 2.

So, 3 embryos. Again.

But the news this time is not as abysmal. This time we have GOOD embryos. REALLY good.

Quick review of Dr Z's grading system; goes on a scale of 1-5 (1 being the best and "no one gets a 1") and at this stage, you want 8 cells in each embryo.

Also a refresher, for comparison, of embryos from IVF #1:

• 6 cell grade 3
• 6 cell grade 4
• 5 cell grade 4

At the transfer, Dr Z sits us down and tells about our embryos. What we find out is, in his lab, what we have is just about as good as it gets for a 3 day transfer.

He tells us about our first 2 embryos first.

photo credit

We have an 8 cell grade 2 (pictured right) and a compacted 8 cell grade 2 (pictured left). Compacted means the embryo is heading for blast, which means our embryo is at LEAST 1/2 -1 day ahead in growth! The other news from Dr Z is like he told us last time: grades 1, 2 and 3 all have the same rate of implantation.

Then he tells us about embryo #3.... it is also 8 cell (holy crap!) but a grade 4, so just lots of fragmentation. He left it up to us to decide what to do with it, but we deferred to his judgment, and transferred it also. I couldn't see disposing of an embryo that was better than anything we transferred last time. Besides, he said with my diagnosis and the failed last cycle, he thinks we can definitely justify transferring 3.

So, 3 embryos transferred. 2 pretty much perfect (pictured) and the one slightly less than perfect (not pictured, b/c it was a last minute decision).

Thanks for all of your well wishes. Please keep them coming.

photo credit

Please be snuggling in for the next 9 months, babies...

Back to bedrest. Welcome to the 2ww.

Egg Retrieval & disappointing fert report. :o(

We did my ER yesterday morning at 8:45am. I was a little scared since I had never been under anesthesia, but everything went well...I was literally in the operating room talking to the nurses, then the anesthesiologist told me he was administering part 2 of the drugs & next thing I know I was back in my recovery area. I rested there for a bit, then the nurse had me walk around & they discharged me. Before we left, the nurse told me that they got 17 eggs! I was happy with that # since my nurse told me that the average # was 10-20 eggs retrieved. When we got home, I laid in bed all day & let Mr. Worry Bud cater to me. :o) We were told to expect a call with the fertilization report today between 12pm-3pm.

Well, Dr. G just called me & here is my very disappointing fert report #s:

• 18 eggs retrieved (I guess maybe they counted wrong yesterday?)
• Only 7 were mature
• 5 fertilized - 1 abnormally, 4 normally

So 4, we have 4 embryos developing. I am soooo disappointed with this #s & I'm sure Dr. G could hear the disappointment in my voice, b/c he said that he knows going from 18 down to 4 seems very disappointing, but he triggered me a day earlier than he had originally expected to since I was responding so well to the meds & at risk for OHSS. I told Mr. WB that I thought I was being triggered a bit early, but that I figured that was the reason why - and although, I know just how dangerous OHSS can be & I'd never want to risk that for more mature eggs, it is still disappointing. Dr. G was saying that 4 was still good though since we will only be transferring 1-2 anyways, but I'm still upset. He asked if I had any questions, and I couldn't think of any, so he said he'll call me again tomorrow with an update. Ugh. This pretty much means that if this cycle fails, then I'll have to do another very time consuming fresh cycle (vs. an Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET)). :o( I'm trying not to think of that outcome, but realize it's a possibility & still trying to stay positive about this. I know God is watching over our 4 little embryos & is seeing to it that they continue to thrive. Please, Lord...watch over & protect our babies. Please let all 4 of them continue to grow & thrive & allow the two best to be ready for transfer on Tuesday or Thursday. Thank you for all that you do for us. Please help us to be the one thing we want to be more badly than anything else in this world - parents. Please help me to remain positive & optimistic about our chances for a happy & healthy pregnancy after this cycle. I love you Lord, Amen.

Sorry for a bit of a depressing post, but I'm still pretty upset about the #s. I know God has a plan for us & our embryos, but it is difficult not to be upset that only 22% of our embryos fertilized normally. And now of course, I'm starting to think of the "what ifs". What if he had allowed me to stim one additional day? What if he did & I developed OHSS? What if more were mature & fertilized normally? Would I feel a bit more excited rather than nervous? What if this cycle fails? I know the answer is that we will try to immediately cycle again (& luckily, we did Shared Risk so we have several more cycles left), but still...ugh. How will I handle that? Please send us any spare prayers, thoughts, vibes - anything you got - that our embryos continue to grow & make it to transfer this week. And also that 1-2 of the transferred embryos stick & we are celebrating our BFP in a couple of weeks. Thanks guys for everything. :o)

Triggering TONIGHT!!!

OMG, I can hardly believe I'm typing this right now, but I am triggering TONIGHT for my Egg Retrieval (ER) on Saturday! Eeeek! I'm a little nervous about how large the needle is, but I'm sure it'll be fine...just like all the other injections. I am hoping my sister (who is a nurse) can come over & do this injection - Mr. Worry Bud is a little nervous about doing it & this one must be done exactly right!

Photo Credit

Backing up a bit...this morning I went in for my fourth monitoring appt. & u/s this AM. During the scan, Dr. G said, "everything looks great & you may be triggering tonight for a retrieval on Saturday." I was like, "really"?! And he said he'd have to confirm by looking at my b/w, but to go ahead & sit down with a nurse to get trigger instructions & make an appt. for tomorrow morning just in case I needed to come in tomorrow. Well, I got my instructions & made my appt. & the front desk lady said, "okay, see you tomorrow." And I said, "actually, hopefully you won't see me tomorrow :o)" & she laughed. The rest of the afternoon, I have been waiting on a call from my nurse letting me know if I am ready to trigger...she called about an hour ago & said, "I have good news, you don't have to come in tomorrow for any more monitoring b/c you're triggering tonight!" I was so excited, I forgot to ask my Estrogen/E2 levels, but here are my follie measurements from today's scan (my office only measures the largest 4 on each side):

Left: 18.5, 16.6, 16.1, 13.9 & several smaller ones
Right: 17.9, 17.1, 15.6, 15.3 & several smaller ones

I am still waiting on a call from my center's surgery scheduler for the exact time to trigger, but it's definitely tonight with my ER on Saturday. I have really been so fortunate this whole process --> the whole week of all my daily monitoring - out of work; ER on a Saturday with plenty of days to recover because Monday is a federal holiday! I think the Lord has truly been overseeing this whole process & I'm so excited about the fact that in a couple of weeks, we could get the best news of our young, married lives!! Please continue praying for us & sending any positive vibes you have our way - I know they make a big difference!

Back from Egg Retrieval...

I was knocked out so the Dr. went and talked to Mr. Blessed Bud after the ER. They got 16 eggs. Dr. B told me the other day that he thought they would get somewhere around 20. Before they knocked me out the Embryologist told me they would call me with the Fert Report tomorrow. The Anesthesiologist, Nurse, Embryologist and the head Dr. were very nice and they surprisingly they were waiting for me when I got there and took me right back to change for the ER.

Photography Credit

After the ER Mr. Blessed Bud came into the Recovery to sit with me as well as my Step Daughter. Mr. Blessed bought me lunch and now I am at home taking it easy with some bloating and cramping that I pray will subside in a few days. Thanks for all of your Thoughts & Prayers thus far and I will be back tomorrow with God willing, what will be a great Fert Report...

A Snowy IVF Update

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Let It Snow?
So this week proved to be very busy with work and constantly going to Dr. B. So, I thought nothing of it when the weatherman predicted snow this weekend. I had to go to Dr. B on Friday and turn right back around and go to him on Saturday morning smack dab in the middle of the snow. I am so thankful Mr. Blessed Bud let me use his SUV Saturday. Here is a re-cap of my IVF progress this week:


2/3/10 ...............
Had b/w and u/s this afternoon. I now have 15 follies on both ovaries today they were 12mm up from 11mm on Monday. I am on day 9 of stims. Dr. B told me I should be 1 or 2 mm's ahead but that PCOS girls sometimes get resistant so he upped my dose of Menopur for tonight. He did not want to up me too much he wants to go slow because he said he doesn't want a big BOOM of follies all of a sudden. I go back Friday and my ER will be early next week instead of this weekend. Praying that my follies continue to grow...

2/5/10 ...............
Night 11 of stims and I had b/w and u/s with Dr. B this afternoon. My E2 levels are rising nicely. I have a lot of follies many mature, some immature so I do my last dose of stims tonight (225iu Follistim, 2 vials of Menopur) and it is back to Dr. B tomorrow morning for another u/s. He is trying to get the immature follicles to catch up to the ones that are ready for trigger. Dr. B is most likely going to trigger me tomorrow evening for ER on Monday!

2/6/10 ...............
Last u/s and b/w with Dr. B. was Saturday morning. I was given instructions to Trigger at 1:30 am on Sunday and my ER is on Monday!

2/7/10 ...............
I Triggered at 1:30 am and hit the hay so I could get some sleep for church. I was instructed by Dr. B and Nurse S to take an OPK at 12 noon and call them with the results. At church I used the bathroom before my bishop's sermon, got 2 lines and left a message with my RE's answering service. My RE called me back after church and explained to me that he wanted to make sure I got my LH surge.

On Sundays we do a prayer in the online community I am part of on the bump/nest. Here is my prayer and I will have an update after my ER tomorrow...

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please continue to allow me to walk by FAITH and not by SIGHT. Please give me the strength to continue on in the midst of the storm. Please bless my Husband and give him peace and comfort as we go to our ER tomorrow. Please touch the Dr's, Embryologist and Nurses. Lord I thank you for sending me to my RE and allowing him to be the vessel in which your perfect will be done. I ask your blessings upon my Step Daughter as she journeys with us tomorrow and I pray that you remove all fear and doubt from my mind as I continue on this IVF journey. Bless my angel baby in heaven and my unborn children, whom I will raise to your honor and your glory. Father please bless all of my sisters in IF and help them to keep on keeping on.

In Jesus Precious Name,

Amen

holy crap

I really don't have a more appropriate title for this blog entry.

After all of the roller coaster emotions of the past week - thoughts of being canceled, thoughts of having diminished reserve - I can't believe I was just told what I was told at the RE's office this morning.

I'm triggering tonight.

My lining went from 14 to 16mm overnight! This photo shows what a trilaminar pattern looks like:

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These are my follicle sizes from the last three visits:

• Monday: 16, 15, 13, 13, 13, 11 (Dr Z only counts the ones above 10)
  
• Wednesday: 19, 18, 15, 14, 14, 13 (6 small - meaning under 10; Dr B counts everything)
• Today: 22, 22, 20, 18, 18, 17, 15, 14, 10

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Yep - you read that right... 5 mature follicles!!!!!!! And with the way things have been going, I wouldn't be surprised if the 17 and 15 caught up by saturday.

I found this cool website that explains mature follicle sizes (remember, i'm on Gonal-F) and what happens after trigger:

• How big should my lead follicle be before I take my HCG shot?
  

A lead follicle should be at least 16 mm on an hMG like Pergonal, it should be at least 18 mm on a recombinant FSH like Gonal-F, and should be about 22 mm on Clomid. Occasionally Gonal-F can produce mature eggs in smaller follicles, in which case other measurements such as E2 and progesterone should be used to indicate maturity. (The difference in ideal size is due to the difference in mechanisms by which the medications work. For example, the mechanism by which Clomid works often takes a bit longer because it is indirect. Therefore, the follicle has more time to grow before the egg is actually mature).

• How much do follicles grow each day?
  

Follicles grow 1 to 2 mm a day both while taking ovulatory stimulants and after the HCG shot.

• Will smaller follicles "catch up" in time to release eggs?
  

Follicles generally need to be at least 15-16 mm to contain fertilizable eggs (although it is possible in rare cases for follicles to be as small as 14 mm and still contain fertilizable eggs). If the smaller follicles are close in size to the lead, they may "catch up" and release. HCG will usually result in most mature follicles releasing eggs. Otherwise, most likely only the lead follicle will ovulate.

I'm starting to think that sometimes Dr. Z is just TOO cautious. Like last week when he said, "i'm not worried YET". Today he said that tomorrow morning when I go in for blood work (they measure my estrogen again and my HCG levels, to make sure i've gotten enough of the trigger) he wants to see my estrogen go up, stay the same, or not drop more than 20%. He said if it drops more than 20% it's indicative of immature eggs that won't fertilize. I asked him if he expects that to happen. He said, "It shouldn't". Why couldn't he just say "no".

But it's not going to happen. Not with all of these follicles. Not after everything i've been through.

We're triggering tonight.

Retrieval is saturday.

Holy crap.

Finally.... Game On

This past friday, my 13x13 box of medications arrived!


Wednesday afternoon, Mr. DB and I had a visit to the RE. I knew we were going to learn about our first medications... and possibly having an internal ultrasound as well. Dr. Z wanted to check my ovaries, make sure they were at rest (since I've just started week 5 of the devil BCPs). He told me that my ovaries are behind my uterus (of course it is, why wouldn't it be?), but that wouldn't be a problem. It just makes them a little bit harder to see. And then he looked at my antral follicle count. According to this link I found, I have pretty good numbers. He saw at least 7 antral follicles on each ovary. So, based on that link - i'm in pretty good shape.

So - the plan....

Yesterday, i started taking baby aspirin, which I will continue to take daily, through 12 weeks of pregnancy.

Tomorrow morning, at 7:30, I start Lupron injectibles in the backs of my arms (apparently I'm too fat to take them anywhere else, thanks). I will continue these injections through December 6th, when the dosage will be dropped by half.

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On thanksgiving, I get to take my last devil pill. No worries - the lupron should be giving me plenty of side effects by then!

On december 3rd, we get to go back to Dr. Z for another med teach, and the following morning, I get to go in for another vagcam date, to check how well the lupron has been suppressing my ovaries.




December 6th, I start my stims.







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Over the next 10 days, I will have 4 shots daily and will likely have 5-6 visits to Dr. Z's office at 7am for blood work monitoring and vagcam ultrasounds.

Sometime between december 16-18, I will have my egg retrieval. Looks pleasant, right? Can someone tell me how it's fair that I have to go through ALL of this, and Mr. DB gets to just "provide a sample"?

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Then depending on the numbers, how well they fertilize and divide and the quality of our embryos, 3-5 days following my retrieval, we'll have our transfer.

It seems crazy.... but we could potentially find out that we're having a baby on New Years Eve.


I can't believe after all that we've been through... this is finally here.