Filled with Emotions

I wanted to wait until AF was due to test again, but after the second BFP today, I feel that I can share with this blog..... I'M PREGNANT!!!

On Thursday (10 DPO) we tested with a Dollar Store test that didn't seem clear, so we waited until lunchtime and tested with a digital Clear Blue Easy HPT and there it was "Pregnant."

I am filled with emotions from being scared to happy to depressed to elated. I hope the meeting with our pastor will help me renew my faith today. He will be the only person that will know until, hopefully, Christmas. Today, I am 4 weeks and 2 days pregnant with a due date around Mr. Brainy Bud's 28th birthday in June. He is so happy about the baby. He will be a great father. He is already the best husband!

I still can't believe it happened on cycle #1.

Faith, Love, and Baby Flutters
Mrs. Brainy Bud

What the?

Image Source

Dear FF,

Please quit moving my crosshairs. You have made me very sad because I have always O'd between days 14 and 16, thereby BDing on days 12, 14, 15, and 17 made perfect sense but now that you've decided to screw with my 1st Cycle of TTC and changed it to stinkin' day 18, I have a much lower chance. You see, even if I am scared to be pregnant, I still WANT to be, so please, work with me, mmmkay?

Sincerely,

Gracious Brainy Bud

Does Everyone Feel This Way?

Image Source
So, this week has been our first bedroom adventures without the added protection of Mr. Rubber Bubber.... (LOL! I just cracked myself up with that one!) ....EVER! I don't know if I even thought about the difference I would feel. Not talking about the actually physical feelings, just the emotional ones! I love Mr. Brainy Bud and sex went off as normal, but laying there afterwards....well, I had a thousand and one things run through my mind that it was difficult to sleep.

"Why didn't I think to get a towel previously?"
"I'm already nervous about being pregnant, what was I thinking?"
"How will I feel if I become pregnant?"
"Will my family be happy or concerned when they find out?"
"How does Mr. BrainyBud feel about all of this? I wonder what he's thinking?"
"Is it supposed to feel this iky?"

And I could go on, and on, and on, but these are the honest thoughts that ran through my head! I have to keep telling myself that I have to go through this to get that wonderful baby we've planned so hard for. I just hope that these "feelings" get better to understand, even if I cannot handle them.

I have to ask... Does everyone feel this way?


Faith, Love, and Baby Flutters
Mrs. Brainy Bud

What WAS I Thinking!?

Image Source

Well, this week we began our TTC journey. It started out with the cutest text message conversation...

DH: you ok?
Me: yea
DH: nervous about today
Me: u? or me?
DH: you
Me: yea
DH: are you ready to be a mom?
Me: yes
DH: me too. I see baby all the time in my head
Me: aww
DH: when do we start testing?
Me: sometime in October?
DH: are we starting tonight?
Me: maybe
DH: ok just let me know

How unromantic, but cute at the same time! :) I have to admit though that the night of this conversation, it didn't happen because I was scared to death and tried to show Mr. BrainyBud that I was "in the mood" but obviously he got it wrong and went to bed, then I got mad, and it was one extremely difficult night with lots of emotions....

Image Source

We ended up forgiving each other of course, but then I felt very reluctant to start all over again. I mean, come on, it was already an uphill roller coaster to muster up the courage (over a year's time) to start TTC, now I have to find the courage in less than 24 hours? It was all too much to handle. Why does this have to be so darn hard?

Faith, Love, and Baby Flutters

Mrs. Brainy Bud