11 DPO

Here is last months chart. (March 2012)

Here is my current chart. (April 2012)

A fellow Bud told me that she likes to think that seeing anything different that what she is used to seeing could be a good sign. So I'm gonna try to stick to that. I had another small temperature rise today. Got a negative HPT though.

Anyways, TGIF!

-Buckeye Bud

10 DPO and I NEED A Punching Bag

My chart shows I'm still up there. I took a hpt yesterday like a dummy and of course I got a negative. I have had a lot of CCM the past few days. Mostly before noon each day. I might try and test tomorrow morning and if I get a negative I will just assume the worst. All times prior to this I have gotten positives by 11DPO. I know all are different so assuming isn't the smartest. AF is set to arrive on Monday which I really think is gonna happen no matter how hard I wish.

Another thing I wanna talk about but I am kind of hesistant. It's embarrassing and frustrating. Mr. BB is annoying the crap out of me. I am SO frustrated with him I just wanna smack him around and maybe knock some sense into him. Several months ago I told him that it would be a good option that if I wasnt KU by February that he should get tested. He agreed and said that I would need to be the one to deliver it back to their office if he could do it at home. I guess he is embarrassed by a little semen!

February rolls around and he said he wasnt gonna get tested until my PCOS meds actually got in my system. So he put it off another 2 months. Here it is 2 months later. Ive been asking him the past 2 weeks about getting tested and he keeps blowing me off. I called me RE's office and they told me that he has to get a scrip from his PCP and then just take it to my RE's lab next door. I relayed this info to him and he completely dismissed me. He refuses to call his doctor b/c he thinks they wont just write him a scrip without him coming in for an office visit. He just "assumes."

I come home last night and ask him if he called his doctor. This is what I get, "just drop it. I'm not talking about this now. If I was gonna do it, Im not gonna do it anytime soon."
I wanted to cry but I was too pissed!! I said back to him, "Do you have any idea how hopeless I am already and you saying no to this makes it 10x worse." I've reminded him of all the thousands of dollars I have spent already and how many times I've been stuck with needles, and poked where I dont wanna be poked. He didnt even seem to care and told me that I go to the doctors all the time. WTF does that mean? I told him I felt so alone with this issue and that I was the only one who really wanted this. He of course just said no and then continued watching stupid Pawn Stars on the tube.

I am livid. I ignored him the rest of the night and havn't talked to him today. I know it sounds immature but I am ready to proove my point. You dont help me, I dont help you. Feed yourself and do your own laundry. Buckeye Bud is about to make it nasty up in heah! I am tired of playing with this man. I've been dealing with this since 2010 and I'm so fed up with him and his pride. He's embarrassed to squirt it in the cup.....thats all it is. I cannot talk to or even try to rationalize with him right now. I might just have to bring out the tears if this approach doesn't work in a few days. Tears usually get his attention ;) He knows I mean business then.

Please tell me I'm not the only one with a man who has acted like this in regards to being tested! Any suggestions on how to get thru to him?!

-Buckeye Bud

Possible Triphasic Pattern - Part 2

I'm still pondering this possible triphasic pattern. Here is day 2 of my 2nd thermal shift. When I took this temp this morning I did get a little discouraged because I did not want anytype of drop. But I've been searching thru FF charts and finding that it's normal to not have several days of solid rising temps. That smalls dips like this are okay.

I'm trying to keep in mind that just because I have a triphasic pattern it does not mean that I am K/U. It's just nice to have a little taste of hope every now and then.

I will update 2morrow with new temp.....please pray for me.

-Buckeye Bud.

Starting of a Triphasic Pattern??

Lets hope so!! I actually got excited this morning when I started reading about temperature rises 7DPO. I read that this could be a good sign. It does however seem to be a bit early but maybe it's possible to get early implantation. I also didnt really have a clear temp drop so I'm not sure if that has to occur in a triphasic or not.


I reviewed all of my previous months (Nov '11-March '12) temperatures on 7DPO and I have never gotten such a large spike on this day. They all seemed to be going down at this point in my cycle. I did wake up kind of sweaty this morning so I guess it is possible to contribute that toward the temp spike. But I didnt sleep with any extra blankets or clothing that I usually do. No need to speculate I guess.



I need some opinions or personal accounts with this type of triphasic pattern!

CD16

Well, nothing too much to report on. FF shows that I O'd on CD12 - Monday the 9th. (Today is Friday the 3th) At the time, I had gotten a postive OPK on that Sunday the 8th. On that Monday morning, I got a negative OPK and a Peak reading on my CBEFM. I really do think I O'd that day b/c I got a pain in my left ovary that only lasted for about 10 secs. We BD'd at about 10pm on Monday night. I really really hope we didnt do it too late- considering eggs "could" only last 12 hours. Please pray that we timed it perfectly.

-Buckeye Bud

CD23

So today is my CD23. No reason to think I am preggers. My tatas have been sore the past couple of days but that has been happening the past couple of months after I O (or think I have O'd). I had some cramps 2 days ago (7dpo) but I have nothing to blame it on. Here is my current chart:

As you can see, nothing spectacular. Trying to compare my chart to the past few months charts, I havn't really noticed any trends or patterns. I'm not supposed to start my period for another 6 days and my temp is dropping already. Not sure what to make of that.

Tonight I begin my new dosage of Glumetza. 1000mg's for the next 7 days. I have yet to have any side effects of the 500mg's I've been on for the past 7 days. But I have been sure to only take the meds after a meal just as my Endo advised. Hopefully I will avoid the side effects entirely.

I keep trying to tell myself that my situation is only going to be downhill from here. I'm getting this PCOS under control. And I've got my MTHFR mutations taken care of with my new NeevoDHA prenatal. I'm just praying this will happen for me and Mr. BB this Spring.

That's all I have for now.....will post updates if they come.

Crosshairs! And 5DPO :)

Here we have it... An official set of crosshairs!


I am currently 5DPO :) FF seems to have my crosshairs on my 1st peak day, even though I thought they would pinpoint ovulation on CD23 (based on my temp drop and rise).

Now, we wait. I have a digital, or two, and I am waiting until at least Valentine's Day (12DPO) before I POAS. Hopefully it'll be some good news.

As of today, I feel like crap. I tossed and turned a lot last night, and woke up a bit dizzy :( I don't want to be calling in sick to work, so I bit the bullet and came in. Thankfully, Tuesdays are not too bad, and hopefully it'll go by relatively fast.

One thing is for sure... I can't wait to POAS! I hope I get my BFP :) hopefully I can fall in that group of 17, who got their BFP the 1st month using the CBEFM.



(Photo credit; Baby Center Community Poll)




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CD26

Hey ladies, nothing new to report with me. I'm currently in my 2 week wait. Day 6 to be exact. We only did the BD the day before ovulation occurred. Don't ask me why......We actually haven't even done the baby dance too much this month anyways. Just one of those months I suppose. Expectations are still 50/50 for the cycle. As always....
Here's my chart.

I finally got my CBE Fertility Monitor in the mail. I'm excited to start using it. But the directions seem really complicated.....sigh.

In the meantime, my mind is staying occupied with our laundry room renovation. New paint, new cabinets, and new ceramic tile. Woot Woot! I just hope we get done ASAP.....everything that was in that room is now in my kitchen (including deep freezer and washer & dryer.)

I went to my family doctor last week for my yearly physical. I had her test my free testosterone and a few other things. I hear that can be related to acne. Which by the way has been absolutely terrible the past 3-4 months. I have no idea why.....it just keeps getting worse and worse. I have even resorted to using Oxy 10, which is 10% Benzoyl Peroxide. It doesn't even phase it. Just dries my skin out super super bad. I never even had this problem in H.S., so WTH?!! I should hear back from her within a couple of days.

Anywho, hope everyone is doing as well as expected. I know personally, I'm so tired of being without baby. Let me re-phrase that, I'm sad. To the core, completely, totally, absolutely, ridiculously sad. Will things ever change :(

Up and down...

Well, I'm currently on CD11 (10 as far as my CBEFM is concerned), and my temps are rising and dropping like crazy! I know it's too early in the cycle and that later on when we look at the big picture things will make more sense... But it's just weird, you know?

Anyway, here's a screen shot of my chart as it currently stands:

In the past, O has happened around CD 18, so we have a few days to go. I am curious to see what the CBEFM says... This is my first time using it, but hopefully it'll be able to help me :) Maybe this will be the month. Ironically, last year around this exact week was when I got KU, so it would be weird if it happened again in the same exact month (last time, it happened our Anniversary weekend, which is now, so it may happen a week later this time). We'll see what happens!!! Staying positive :)




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Fertility Friend = A Major Pain in My Rumpus

FerfilityFriend....pshhh.....that ain't no "friend!" I love it it one day and the next I hate it. As you can see from my chart below, I have yet to get any cross hairs. I got 2 positive OPK's on days 12 and 13 but that is the same time my temp began to rise. My CM was pretty inconsistent this month....I assume due to work stress, so I can't really count on that.

Unlike last month, I dont have any crazy dramatic rise.....just kind of slow and steady. I just want some crosshairs on my chart! Jeez! Once I get those, I will be fine. I'm a expert at the 2WW so I can patiently handle that. But the uncertainty of not knowing if FF thinks I OV'd is killing me!

The Femara that I was on day 3-7 during this cycle was supposed to ensure that I OV'd.....but at this point I don't have enough solid evidence. Maybe the Femara is the reason Im having such a slow rise. Good night......why do I put myself thru all this?!

I ordered a ferning microscope on Ebay this weekend. I'm super excited to get it and post about how it works for me!

-Buckeye Bud

Charting Confusion

So I've been charting like a good girl the past 2 months.....with the exception of a couple of days. My alarm is set for 5:45 am 7 days a week. I keep my thermometer within arms length just so I know I don't have to move around a lot and possibly skew the results. I don't talk or drink or do anything else before temping. SO, here is my concern for today......

5:45 AM- Temp 97.40 (went back to sleep after) (AND this was my same temp as yesterday!)
9:45 AM - Temp 97.70 (I was still in bed, hadn't moved around or talked)

WHY is there such a variation?? I know I should chart the first temp I received but that would mess up my temperature spike (it wont keep at an upward rise.) If you look at my chart below, I charted the 97.70 temp. This also gave me an empty circle I am assuming b/c of the time. I always seem to get this type of circle when my time is off.

Does anyone get variations like this when they sleep later than their usual temping time??? Or do I have a POS thermometer??!!

Blah Blah Blah

Nothing too much to post about today. I'm still frustrated by my confusion. Did I ovulate just 7 days past AF's arrival like fertility friend said I did (I sure hope not). Or did I ovulate 10-12 days past AF's arrival like my OPK said. I don't know what to believe.

My tata's are still sore and I feel kind of bloated today. My temperature is still rising so I dont know what in the world all of this means. I guess I will find out in about a week when "technically" I'm supposed to start my cycle.

Another frustrating part is the fact that I have ALWAYS been like clock work. 28-30 day cycle each and every month. And of course when we are finally able to try again, something gets effed up! Ugh.....never fails.

Here's my current chart.

Thanksgiving Surprise

The past 2 days I have had quite a bit of CM. This is the first way I always know when I am getting ready to Ovulate. It's only cycle day 8 so it does concern me. I really think that Prometrium might of messed with me.
But any-who, at around 4:00 this afternoon I took an ovulation test and it came out positive. Mr.Buckeye Bud and I went ahead and FWP just in case. I just tested again and got another positive (9:00pm)

I have been charting my temps/cycle symptoms for the first time in my life and I find it pretty intriguing. The past 2 days there is an obvious increase in temperature. I'm pretty anxious to test it in the morning to see if it continues to rise. Im not sure when my chart will get a crosshair, but hopefully it wont show one for a couple of days. According to what I read on the net, if I ovulate too early in my cycle my egg won't be soft enough to let the little tadpoles in.

If I don't get pregnant this cycle I wont be too disappointed. After all, I do get to start Femara next month and maybe that will make me drop multiple eggs! Now that would be one heck of a blessing!

BTW.......Hoping everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Well hello ovulation.

At least I think that's what this is. I have been feeling some twinges on my lower right side (which I don't typically notice ovulation pain) and the OPK I took earlier today is SUPER dark. It's not quite positive, but I am thinking that if I take another OPK later in the day it will be. The best sign that ovulation is impending is my cervix is high and soft and holy crap, I had EWCM that probably could have stretched for a mile. No joke. I have never seen it like that! Hopefully all signs are correct, and my body is gearing up to ovulate. And maybe even today!! That would be a welcomed change since I am currently on CD 13 and I typically ovulate somewhere around CD 25-27.

The only downfall to my theory is my chart is whacked out this month. Seriously. My temps are all over the place. So much so Fertility Friend gave me cross hairs on CD 10. What??! Umm, I fairly confident I didn't ovulate on CD 10. And if I did, I am screwed since there is no chance we caught the egg. But yeah, I am pretty sure I didn't ovulate then.

Fingers crossed that I ovulate in the near future. I am hopeful that ovulating on CD 14 vs CD 27 will be the change I need to get KU!

I want another one of these.....

Yep, I AW Little PB&J Bud every chance I get :)

PB&J Bud

This is the point where I start to lose it.

10 DPO. I think this is officially the worst day of TTC. I am on the cusp of being A) pregnant B) not pregnant and/or C) crazy. Right now I am officially C. I will be finding out in the next few days if I am either A or B. According to the test I took this morning I am still classified as B. The test was so white that even if I squinted real hard and cocked my head at a 45* angle I still couldn't envision that imaginary second line. You know, that second line you desperately pretend is there to lessen the blow of a BFN? Or am I the only one who does this?

Photo Credit

10 DPO is the most stressful day of TTC because I start second guessing everything. Every twinge, every gas bubble, every yawn. It's all up for interpretation. And I am at the point where I can't distinguish how I feel. Am I nauseated? I think so. But then again, maybe I just overate at dinner tonight? And I'm kinda tired. But aren't I always tired this time at night? IDK, I can't really remember if I usually am or not. And FFS, I am sick of feeling myself up multiple times a day to see if my boobs hurt. The only thing I can conclude is my right nipple is sore. Weird. Does that classify as sore boobs? Eff, I don't know. If I weren't in my 2WW, I wouldn't be blinded by potential phantom symptoms and I could figure these things out.

And just to be sure that my pregnancy hopes are kept alive, my chart took a rather large temp jump this morning. If I am not pregnant this cycle I am going to be super pissed! And I vow to stop charting after O is verified. Eff that. No more being lead on by pretty charts.

So please send me all your sanity vibes/dust/whatever you want to call it so I don't lose my mind over the next few days :)

PB&J Bud

Pretty Chart =/= Pregnancy

I wish it did. Because I would be KTFU! Last cycle I had a beautiful chart and I was sure it would end with a + HPT. Ha. Boy, I was wrong. When AF showed up at 14 DPO it hit me hard. Not only was it my first cycle after my Chemical Pregnancy (and there is a school of thought that you are more fertile after a miscarriage) but my chart totally lured me into thinking there was a baby in my uterus when in fact, it was empty :(

Minus the 14 DPO temp dive, isn't pretty? Well it meant nothing! My body played a cruel joke on me!

This cycle I am doing my best not to buy into the same baloney of a "pretty chart is a sure sign of pregnancy" because again my chart is looking promising.

Look at those high temps! They are well over the cover line!

Like I said in my last post, I did test today at 9 DPO. Of course it was a BFN :( I am embarrassed to make the confession that I actually started testing 7 DPO. And I tested again yesterday morning at 8 DPO. I know, I am an idiot. Something comes over me in the mornings and I become delusional. Some how I can convince myself that it IS a good idea to test, even if I am only 7 DPO. Are you rolling your eyes?! Haha. I have read on the internet about TTC'ers who get a + HPT 7 DPO and then I can't control the urge to test.

And I will make one more confession......I started using OPKs 5 DPO. My reasoning? Well, I wanted to do an experiment to see if the OPKs will fade into a + (BTW, there is no fading, just stark white OPKs). It still doesn't justify my delusional train of thought, but hey it didn't cost me much money to support my POAS habit. Thank goodness for internet cheapies. Or I would be crazy AND broke. Besides, if I am KU I don't want all of my HPTs and OPKs to go to waste........another weak excuse.

Is anybody else out there a POASaholic? Anyone? Or am I in a league of my own?

PB&J Bud :)

Thankful I Was Wrong

Its been a roller coaster few days.

On Thursday I had some cramping. Figured for sure it was AF about to come. She usually shows up within 24 hours or so of cramps like that. I've been keeping an eye on the length of my luteal phase as its its right in the gray area of being too short and requiring treatment. Thursday was 9 DPO, meaning AF would be holding true to form by arriving at 10 DPO.

Friday morning I woke up to more cramps. Pretty notable ones at that. I also woke up to a temp that made my chart look like this:

Talk about a temperature drop before AF showed up! The whole day I was just waiting for her to make an appearance. Telling myself that it was alright, November is a fine month (My Birthday!), and that although this was the last chance for me to deliver a child full term before I turned 35...that it would be fine. It would work out. I was honestly more concerned about the luteal phase issue.

AF never did show.

This morning, my chart looked like this (below). I also woke up to a feeling of deja vu as there were little twinges in my uterus. These are really common in early pregnancy, and I remembered them from the pregnancy I lost at about 5 weeks back in November. Needless to say a test was taken.
Positive.

Apparently those cramps were implantation cramps and the drop in temperature an implantation dip.

I've never been so happy to be completely wrong about something in my life. Mr. CB and I are surprised as we thought for sure this month was out, but are thrilled. According to my LMP, the EDD should be October 15th. I didn't ovulate on CD14 though, and when I plugged in my ovulation date it said the EDD would be October 18th. Since the two are so close and I'm pretty sure my OB will go with the LMP one until a dating ultrasound, that's what I'm sticking to for now. It being 3 months to the day from the EDD I had for my loss (July 15th) is a little freaky, but honestly, as long as the baby comes home healthy and happy I don't care what the due date is.

I'm such a mixture of emotions right now that I don't even know how to begin to describe the thoughts in my head. I'm excited, scared, anxious & hopeful all at once. I kind of feel like I'm running the gauntlet. Just trying to get past one obstacle at a time. There are so many things that have to go perfectly to result in a take home baby in the end, I'm just praying that things are going right in there.

Cross Hairs!

Not really a surprise to see them as I've had some pretty convincing signs that ovulation happened in the last few days (+OPKs, plummeting and then dramatically rising temperature, sex drive went from ridiculously high to non-existent). Still good to see nice solid cross hairs on my chart though. Any sign that my body is doing what its supposed to when its supposed to is a good thing.

I'm currently 3 DPO. I'm going to try and hold out on testing until 10 DPO (Friday, Feb 4th). Hopefully AF holds out until then too. Last month I started spotting at 9 DPO and that's just really cutting the luteal phase a little too short for my liking. I'm hoping it was a fluke post-miscarriage thing as its never happened before. I had some other weird (for me) symptoms in the 2ww last month too, namely really sore boobs (I'm talking wake me up at night painful, ouch!). When I was in for my annual last month, the doc said things like that are par for the course in the first few cycles post pregnancy loss. Last month was Cycle 2 post loss, so I'm optimistic that was the case.

So far I'm doing pretty well in this 2ww. Mr. CB and I had pretty good timing, and knowing we did what we could to up the chances helps. This is the easy part of the 2ww though. No chance the prospective little bud has implanted, so no point in even thinking of testing. I may be singing a different tune a few days from now...when the real mind games of the 2ww begin.

Take care,

Starting off the New Year with yet another great tool :)

First off, Happy New Year to all the readers and to all the Buds :) May 2011 bring all the things you want and hope for! I know Mr. DBud are very hopeful for a baby bump this year... He even made sure I ate all 12 of my grapes last night at Midnight ;)

This is for my iPhone/iPad users ;) I wanted to make a quick post about an awesome iPhone app I was turned onto last night. I learned about it from a friend who mentioned it amidst a conversation about tracking fertile days for TTA or TTC purposes... It's called Period Tracker. Here is a screen shot of it:



It's very simple to use.. Just tap when your period begins and tap when it ends. That's it. :) it states that flowers will appear during the fertile window. You can find it at the following address:

http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/period-tracker-deluxe/id289084315?mt=8

Another good way to keep track of your cycle! Enjoy :)




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Am I About to O?

I think today might be the day! You all know what I'm going to be doing tonight ;)

Judging by past temperatures (my past three charts have had a pretty sharp dip with a moderate temp increase on the day of O, with a sharp rise the next day), plus the symptoms I've been able to track, I may be on track for an earlier-than-usual O. Woohoo! [And if I put in high temps for the next 3 days, it gives me today as the day]. But I suppose all of this is just hypothetical until I actually see a temp rise. Too bad I have to be on a plane tomorrow at 7, which means my wake-up temp is going to be off. Also too bad that we're flying up to see my parents until Monday--so we'll be sleeping on a futon in the living room and I'll have a terrible time sleeping!



If you're traveling this week, stay safe. Sending all of you wishes for a BFP come January 1!
Love, Magnolia Bud