And The Verdict Is.....

I cried at work today.

This is a big no-no in SB land. I work at a very fast paced, stressful job (and oddly enough I LOVE it!) and I have convinced myself that showing any emotion at work will label me as weak, and I will be preyed upon by upper management.

After having lunch with a few co-workers and I looked down at my phone and saw a missed call from my RE's office. I knew this could only mean one thing.....our karyotype results were in.

Commence freak out.

I tried to reason with myself and thought that I would just listen to the message when I left work. That thought lasted for a wopping 2 minutes when all I could do was just stare at my computer screen. I went into the hallway and dialed my voice mail, leaning up against the wall preparing for the worst.

The message was from one of the nurses who simply said to "call her back."

Commence anxiety shit show.

I walked outside and sat down on one of the benches by our pond. I figured that I would have to be sitting down when I heard the bad news. I mean really, if it was good news she would have left a message saying so, right? RIGHT?!

My hands were shaking and my voice was trembling when I asked to speak to the nurse. And when she said "Hi SB, how are you?", I heard doubt in her voice.

Or so I thought.

As it turns out, our chromosomes are totally normal. No balanced translocation, no weird genetics, just perfect chromosomes for baby making. And in that moment, the weight of the world was taken off of my shoulders.

I returned to my desk still shaking, and while staring at my computer screen (I really do work at work - promise) I started to cry. I cried tears of joy for the first time in almost 2 years. Having a happy, healthy pregnancy finally seemed attainable to me, and that feeling absolutely consumed me.

I was told to call the RE's office the first day of Aunt Flo, but I told them no thanks. I'm still on my break. My mind and body need time to heal, because the past 2 years have been hard on both of them.

What I didn't tell them was I was going to seek out a second opinion. Right now I'm on the search for a new RE to see what insight they can offer me. I have made a decision to not stop until I get answers or a healthy baby.

There still is a long road ahead for us, but for once, I feel there is hope.

Where We Go From Here

First of all, I wanted to give a heart-felt thank you to the Bloomin' Babies community. You have all been so supportive, thoughtful and informative. I am so thankful to be part of this little "family."

Mr. SB and I had an appointment with our RE to talk about our next steps. It seems that I have been pretty much tested for everything except for a chromosome defect called Balanced Translocation.

I won't bore you with the details of this again, as it can be found in Blessed Bud's post, a couple below this one.

After emailing with our lovely Dandelion Bud, if the balanced translocation test comes back normal, I think I am going to get a second opinion. It seems like they cannot find anything that is wrong with me. In fact, my RE said it was surprising how normal my tests actually were - not a defect in sight, which is just my luck.

I'm scared to death of my chromosome test coming back positive. That is a whole different shit storm that I am not ready to deal with. The thought of having to go through more miscarriages to "hopefully" have a normal pregnancy literally takes me breath away. The nurse at my RE's office told me that they have never seen this many miscarriages in someone so young, which to be honest with you, made me want to neck punch her.

So right now, we have put actively TTC on hold. This test will take about 5 weeks to come back, and now we are going to try to relax, exercise and start having sex for fun instead of reproduction (even though I know I will not be able to help myself with CBE Smileys because they are just so. freaking. cool)! I will not be going back on birth control, so if it happens, it happens.

Its time for a much needed physical and mental break.

Our Genetic Testing Results are in...

A Very Busy June...

June and July have been quite busy months for myself and Mr. Blessed Bud. In June we made preparations to move into a new house and we underwent Genetic Testing to see if a genetic defect is the cause of our miscarriages. We had blood drawn for the Male and Female Karotyping Tests. This test also known as a Chromosome Analysis looks at the structure, number and arrangement of all 46 pairs of chromosomes. This test looks mainly for something known as a Balanced Translocation, which causes recurrent miscarriages.

Photography Credit

What are Balanced Translocations???
A chromosomal translocation is a condition in which part of a chromosome has broken off and reattached in another location. In a balanced translocation, a person usually has all the genetic material necessary for normal growth -- a piece of a chromosome is merely broken off and attached to another one. However, when that person's cells divide to create egg or sperm cells for reproduction, the egg or sperm cells can end up with extra genetic material or missing genetic material, which could lead to miscarriage depending on which chromosome and genes are affected. Balanced translocation is diagnosed through a test called a karotype in which blood samples from both parents are analyzed looking for the translocation. Some research suggests balanced translocation in the mother is most likely to be associated with recurrent miscarriages, but fathers can be carriers as well.

Photography Credit

Treatment for Balanced Translocations
There are no cures for Balanced Translocations, and these are the options for those TTC:

A. Keep going on your own and the odds are in favor of a successful pregnancy eventually, you will most likely experience more miscarriages
B. IVF w/ PGD
C. Donor Egg or Donor Sperm, or Donor Embryos depending if one or both partners have the Translocation
Our Test Results and What's Next?
Both of our Test Results came back NORMAL! It's kind of annoying because there is absolutely no explanation as to why I am miscarrying. We have a consult with Dr. B this Thursday to discuss our upcoming FET in August and what changes he will make to our protocol. I know one change he is making is to switch me from Crinone to PIO so he can monitor my Progesterone levels closely. For my first 2 pregnancies/miscarriages (one natural and one with TI and injectables under a different RE) I had no Progesterone support. My third miscarriage a c/p I was on vaginal suppositories and for this most recent FET/miscarriage I was on Crinone. I will have an UPDATE on Thursday from my consult and in the meantime we are still busy settling into our new place, which we absolutely adore.

Have a Great Weekend,

Miscarriage #3 but Walking by FAITH

Walking by FAITH and not by SIGHT...



Mr. Blessed Bud and I have suffered our 3rd consecutive miscarriage since July 2009. I miscarried all of the products of conception on Sunday night and I was pregnant with a singleton. The bleeding totally stopped Monday afternoon which was a good thing. I am not sad at all I am actually at peace. I believe God has placed us on this journey to test our FAITH and at the end of this journey everything we have gone through will truly make me us appreciate the blessings we are given in life.


We are going to do FET #2 in August and my RE is doing the following:



1. Testing us for Balanced Translocations: In a balanced translocation, a person usually has all the genetic material necessary for normal growth -- a piece of a chromosome is merely broken off and attached to another one. However, when that person's cells divide to create egg or sperm cells for reproduction, the egg or sperm cells can end up with extra genetic material or missing genetic material, which could lead to miscarriage depending on which chromosome and genes are affected.

Mr. Blessed Bud and I talked about this a lot tonight and what we would do if we both carry Balanced Translocations and we do have options. There is IVF w/ PGD, Donor Egg and Donor Sperm. We are going to try and schedule this testing for this Saturday.


2. Switching me from Crinone to PIO, so he can monitor my P4 levels better.

Once again I appreciate all of the support the Bloomin' Babies Family has given it really means a lot ((HUGS)) to all of you.

Until Next Time,