Triggering tonight!

I can't believe it's time already.

Today was my final monitoring appointment. The RE said everything looks great and I will be triggering tonight! That puts the egg retrieval on Wednesday morning. The nurse should be calling this afternoon with the exact time that I take the trigger shot.

Stims were not too bad at all. I had a headache one day, and I am extremely bloated. I did end up with a skin infection that I am guessing was from all the hormone changes, but that is almost cleared up and isn't causing me any discomfort anymore.

I tried to keep track of how many follicles there were this morning, but honestly there were so many I lost track! My lining was at 11.1 and the RE said that was a great number. I am glad that there have been very few issues during my cycle. I guess we are lucky that MFI was the only thing that was keeping us from getting pregnant.

I will update after the retrieval. Hopefully I have lots of eggs!

Started Stims

Yesterday I went to the RE for my suppression check. Ovaries, lining, and bloodwork were all good and they had me start my stimulation meds last night.

I am taking Follistim, Novarel, and Lupron. I am not having a good time with the side effects so far. I was up all night with pretty severe pain in my left breast. Hopefully this passes quickly. Taking 3 shots a night is not all that fun either. I have a lot of bruising on my stomach. At least no one else will see it. Now that the complaining is out of the way, I STARTED STIMS!!!! Things are moving quickly. Hopefully ER is soon!

My next monitoring appointment is in 2 days. I'll update with our progress.

IVF Update: BCP & Lupron

I feel like my pre-IVF cycle is moving right along!

I am on my 3rd and final week of BCP. The first few days I felt completely fine on it. Then I became an emotional mess for another few days. I think my body has finally gotten used to it. I feel totally normal now!

I started Lupron 5 days ago. Lupron is taken as an injection to my stomach. The first few injections were uncomfortable. The needle itself didn't hurt but the injection site stung for about 15 minutes after. I figured out that if I pinch the skin before putting in the needle and then let go of the skin before I pull it out, the Lupron doesn't leak out at all, which is what I think was causing the pain. Mr. Sassy Bud did my first injection, but he got home late the second night so I did my own. It was actually really easy and I prefer doing it myself. I never thought I would be able to give myself an injection so I am proud of that. I have heard some pretty nasty side effects from Lupron, but so far I haven't had any. I do my injection right before bed and feel totally fine in the morning.

On Sunday I go in for a suppression check. This is to make sure that the BCP and Lupron are doing their jobs. A few days after that I start my stimulation meds, while continuing the Lupron. I can't believe how quickly everything is happening. I should be all finished with my IVF cycle, including betas, by the end of this month.

Pre-IVF Appointment

I just got back from the RE where I had my pre-IVF appointment, which consisted of a catheter check/mock transfer, more bloodwork, and injection training. I also got my IVF calendar.

Catheter Check/Mock Transfer
- No one told me this part would hurt!!! I guess I never really asked either, but OUCH. The pain was comparable to my HSG, but the cramping is still going. Basically, the RE puts in the catheter that they use to do the embryo transfer to get an idea of where she is going with it for the real thing. She also used the vag cam, as if I wasn't already uncomfortable enough.

Bloodwork- This was our infectious disease panel. Mr. Sassy Bud got to partake in the blood drawing fun also. Too bad the nurse wouldn't give him the pink bandage like I requested.

Injection Training
- The first three injections I will be taking seemed like no biggie (Lupron, Follistim, & low dose HCG). The post ER drug, on the other hand, NOT fun. PIO- Progesterone in Oil- is painful and the needle is big.

IVF Calendar
- Basically I have one more week of BCP, a few days of Lupron, and then I start my other meds to stimulate my ovaries. Timing wise- I could be PG by Thanksgiving, depending on my response!

I don't have to go back for monitoring until next CD1, which should be about 2 weeks from today.

A good CD1

Typically CD1 is a letdown where all your waiting and hoping for the cycle comes crashing down. This CD1 is different for me. It marks the beginning of my first IVF cycle!



I'm going to try to explain the IVF process as I go through it in a way that is understandable to those who have never been through it, so if I seem to "dumb it down" a little, that's why. This pic gives a general idea of the process, although in our case the egg and sperm go through a little different process. Because of our MFI, the RE will be fertilizing them.

Photo Credit

When I met with the RE, they told me to call on CD1 to schedule CD3 blood work. I will be going to the RE this Thursday to do the blood work, and I think they may do a transvaginal ultrasound then too. At that point I believe I also start BCP's. The purpose of the BCP is to suppress my natural cycle until they are ready to stimulate. A few weeks after I start BCP I also take a drug called Lupron which is part of the suppression process.



I am on BCP & Lupron for a total of 3 weeks. Once I stop the BCP, I will get a withdrawal bleed and with that CD1, my IVF process begins. During the 3 weeks, Mr. Sassy Bud and I have to do infectious disease testing along with training on how to do the injections for the IVF medications. Mr. Sassy Bud will be in charge of giving me all my shots. Fortunately for me, he has no issues with needles. I'm not a huge fan of them, but you do what you have to do.

I also got all of the information as far as financing our IVF process. Our insurance covers most of the procedures and medications. I am so fortunate to have this coverage! The total OOP expense came to a little over $2k, which includes our copay of 10% of the IVF procedure, the anesthesia (which may be covered but is not billable) and the surgical supplies (also may be covered). I believe all of our meds will also be covered. The only bad news is that with this IVF we are maxing out our lifetime coverage for IF treatments. If this one doesn't work, we will be 100% OOP for any other treatments we do. That is a scary thought, and the thing that is stressing me out the most about the whole process.

So that is where we are right now. I'll be sure to update after my CD3 appointment.

IVF Bound

After 20ish months of TTC, we finally met with the RE this morning.

She went over both sets of S/A results with us and determined that our only real option is IVF with ICSI.

Photo Credit

I knew this was going to be the outcome based on the last S/A results but it was still hard to hear.

I will start BCP either this CD1 or next CD1. This will put me at ER/ET either around Thanksgiving or Christmas, either of which are not a big deal to me.

I am fortunate to have pretty great insurance coverage so our out of pocket cost won't be much for the whole procedure.

Mr. Sassy Bud and I had already discussed that we would transfer 2 embryos and the RE agreed that was the best shot for us.

Our next steps will be CD3 bloodwork for me, BCP's, and taking injection classes. I am nervous, scared, and excited all at once.

Next up- more appointments.

I feel like my TTC journey moves in slow motion sometimes. It's frustrating having to make appointment after appointment for Mr. Sassy Bud and I, but it's a necessary evil, so we do it.

Mr. SB is going in for his repeat S/A tomorrow.

I also went to my gyno and got our referral to the RE so we can officially start going to their office even though we have had all our procedures done there already.

The consultation appointment is on my birthday. I'm hoping that it wasn't a bad idea to schedule it that day. I'm pretty much already prepared for IVF as a treatment course based on our S/A results, so I don't know that I will really get any bad news at the appointment. Hopefully it is moreso exciting than upsetting, even though just making the appointment yesterday turned me into an emotional mess. I just have to be strong, and keep moving forward. February will mark 2 years of TTC. I desperately hope to be pregnant by then.

Here we go...

I've come to a decision that I am ready to get out of my TTC limbo. After Mr. Sassy Bud's bad S/A results, I got to a point where I was feeling quite defeated and I just didn't care about anything TTC related anymore.

My friends that moved to Germany 6 months ago came back to visit us recently. After having a baby in the house for the past few weeks, I have found my motivation to keep going. Mr. Sassy Bud told me the other day that he is going in for his repeat S/A soon. I also finally made my appointment to see my ob/gyn for my annual, and I will ask for my RE referral at that time. I'm anxious to hear what they have to say regarding what our options are. I'm ready to go forward with whatever we need to do right now to get pregnant.

I survived!

The past month has been full of insane study sessions, culminating with the finals week that I just finished yesterday. For some reason I thought it was a good idea to take 4 classes this term, all of which had one final exam that made up the entire grade for the class. Oh, and did I mention I work full time? Yes, I was crazy when I chose that schedule. I am glad that's over with.

Mr. Sassy Bud has not had his repeat S/A yet. I haven't had the time to even think about getting that done lately. I hate to admit it, but it's still not high on my priority list. I think it is partly that I am still in denial that his results were so terrible, and partly because I know that regardless of the outcome of the second set of results, I am just not ready to go through fertility treatments right now. I can't explain the reasoning behind this, other than it just doesn't feel right, for me, right now. Between working and law school, all my energy and emotions are taken. Law school is the most challenging and exhausting thing I have ever done. Maybe when graduation becomes more of a reality than a far-off dream, I will be able to reevaluate our options.

For now, we will take things slowly, and (unrealistically) hope for a miracle.

Sperm Update

Today Mr. Sassy Bud and I met with the urologist. I was able to get a copy of the semen analysis results. Here's the complete numbers:

• Volume: 1.5ml (low/normal: 2.0+)
• Color: Normal
• Viscosity: Slightly Viscous
• Liquefaction: Complete
• pH: 7.2 (Normal)
• Concentration: 36 Million (normal/normal: 20m+)
• Motility: 41% (low/normal:50%+)
• Total Progressive Motile: 0 (no fwd movement)
• Morphology: less than 1% (low/normal: greater than 3%)

You may notice that the count is much higher than what I thought in my last post. Apparently the nurse read me the wrong line when I asked her for the count. This is much, much better than I originally thought.

The rest of the appointment went really well. The doctor was very knowledgeable and made us feel very comfortable. He did a physical exam and found no issues with vericoceles.

They also ran some blood work to check Mr. Sassy Bud's FSH and Testosterone. He gave us a referral for another S/A. If the results come back the same they will be doing an ultrasound to check for any other issues. The doctor told us that we could try some supplements, such as FertilAid, while we are waiting for the test and ultrasound results. We should be able to do the repeat S/A in the next few weeks.

In non-MFI news, I received a call about the job that I have been waiting on. I go in for a meeting with them on Wednesday. It is more of a meet and greet style meeting than an interview. She basically just wants to see how qualified each applicant is to move on to the next step in the interview process. This is the job that would put a hold on our TTC plans for a year or so, so hopefully she can give me some idea of the time frame I am looking at if I were to get hired.

I have put my charting membership on hold for now, since there isn't really any chance of us getting pregnant without medical intervention at this point. The good part of having answers is that CD1 was not difficult for me this time. I knew it was coming and didn't expect anything different.

Hopefully my next update will have some answers and good news!


'

I couldn't have prepared for this.

Today we got Mr. Sassy Bud's S/A results.

I tried to prepare myself for bad news but this was worse than I expected. His count was 1.5 million. Morphology was less than 1%. Motility was 41% with no forward movement.

We have been referred to a urologist who specializes in male factor infertility.

I am still numb from the shock of the results. Mr. Sassy Bud is actually in good spirits and said he is not going to worry unless they tell them there is nothing they can do. Hopefully we can get in for some answers very soon.

9 weeks, 6 days!

Hey there everyone! I apologize for being so MIA lately - I have been sooo busy @ work; I'm going to training for two weeks at the end of this month, so that has made me even more busy. Besides that, I haven't had too much going on Baby Worry Bud-wise. I did have my first OB appointment last Wednesday & it was pretty uneventful - they just went over some Dos & Don'ts of pregnancy, took my weight (up about 4 lbs since starting IVF...eek), asked a few questions, allowed me to ask any I had, gave me some literature on some optional testing I could have done, as well as some general pregnancy, took blood & urine for some testing. All my tests came back clear & I found out that my blood type is B+....no, I never knew that, lol.

My next OB appt. is on Friday, April 23rd - and that'll be a "fun" one - we get to hear the baby's h/b with the Doppler!! I'm so excited about that b/c we have never heard Baby WB's h/b (only seen it) & that'll also be our last appt. before we enter the second trimester! Even though, I know that after you see the baby's h/b that the chances of miscarriage go down to like 2-5%, but I'm still nervous. Can't help it I guess - it's in my nature to worry. But, I just continue to pray that everything with Baby WB continues to go well & that s/he continues to grow, big, strong & healthy.

Photo Credit

As far as the optional tests, we will likely do the u/s called the nuchal translucency (NT) scan (which examines the baby's skin folds behind the neck) although I am considered relatively low risk for Downs Syndrome, but it's an extra u/s & my insurance will likely cover it 100% (I'll check on that first) & it carries essentially no risk to the baby since it's just an u/s & I think maybe some b/w. My OB routinely only orders just one u/s at about 18-20 weeks & that mid-late June for me! I don't know if I can wait THAT long to see Baby WB again. I kinda wish my RE didn't release until 10-12 weeks, sigh. At this point, we don't plan on doing any other optional testing b/c many of the tests come with risks to the baby - small risks, but I don't want to do anything that could potentially cause harm to the baby or the pregnancy.

As far as symptoms -they are on & off. I still get pretty intense, but very short-lived stabbing/twisting pain in my ute area & I have had this really sharp pain in my butt that radiates down to my leg on my left side. I spoke to the nurse at my OB office & she said it sounds normal. That unless it sticks around for several hours or becomes excruciating, then it's normal to have pains here & there since your body is going through lots of changes. I feel nauseous sometimes, but only when I don't eat often enough, but I haven't thrown up yet, woot! I have gained weight in my mid-section area & have started wearing belly bands with my pants that are a little too tight & they have been working really well for me. I got the exact ones (in black and white) pictured above from Etsy seller RunSystem63 - she has awesome prices...I got two for the price of one Target brand Be Band. Also, Old Navy was having an awesome sale this week, so I got some maternity hidden waistband work slacks in a few colors & some low-rise jeans in a dark wash. I'm a long way from needing the shirts, but my pants are getting pretty tight. If all continues to go well with Baby WB, I'll start posting regular "bump" pics starting at 12 or 13 weeks. I have been taking them since 4 weeks, when we found out I was pregnant, b/c I have this awesome pregnancy journal, called "The Belly Book" by Amy Krouse! It chronicles your pregnancy & belleh thru out your 40+ weeks of pregnancy. It actually starts with week 1, which is a little pointless since you aren't even pregnant by then, so the first 3 weeks are blank in mine.

In GREAT news - we got paid out from our FSA for the $10K we put in, so we paid off that portion of our IVF loan, which takes a huge financial pressure off of us. We are saving about $250 a month in loan payments, holler...all of which will likely go towards saving for stuff we'll need for the baby. The room in our house (the guest room) where the nursery will be is on my spring cleaning list - we need to dispose of or Freecycle the mattress & bed rails, get rid of my old desk, clean out the closet & put in a closet organization system (it's a teeny tiny closet), clear out all the other clutter in the room (it currently holds all of our important papers, my crafts, etc). I can't wait to find out the sex of the baby & get started for real on a nursery! That's all I got for now, hopefully work will calm down & I'll be able to post more often again. Thanks as always for all the continued T&P for baby WB...it means so much to me & Mr. WB!

Our 2nd peek at baby Worry Bud!

This past Friday we had our follow up ultrasound at my RE's office. Baby WB was sooo much bigger than last time! Here is our beautiful little one at 7w6d:


Call me crazy, but I think it looks more like a baby - I can see the head & the shadows were the eyes are/will be! The u/s tech also showed us a view from the back of the baby (no pic) & you could see his teeny, little arms & legs sticking out from the sides of his body. OMG, it was so cute & so amazing. Also, we immediately saw his big heart beating nice & strong - 157 bpm! The Dr. & u/s tech said s/he is measuring exactly where he needs to be right now & I got officially released from my RE. It's bittersweet b/c I know that I am only able to move on to my OB b/c Baby WB is doing so good, but also a little sad b/c I know I won't get the same level of care at my OB's office. It's just impossible at a normal OB's office. I like my OB/GYN & all, but it's just not the same. I felt really close to my RE & my nurse & everyone in the office knew me...it's just different. They told me to keep in touch & asked us to send along the baby's birth announcement when s/he is born. They also gave me a form to send in with information about the baby & my delivery to keep their information accurate/up to date. As far as meds - I started a reduced dose of the Estradiol on Saturday (1 pill per day) & continue that thru April 10th @ 10 weeks; then the Endometrin inserts also continue twice a day until April 1oth.

I have my first normal OB appointment tomorrow morning, but I was told it's just an intake appointment with a nurse. She is going to go over Dos & Don'ts of pregnancy, ask questions about my/Mr. Worry Bud's family history, I can ask any questions I have, etc. Then at my next appointment, I'll see the Nurse Practitioner, who will do my annual Pap (it was due in May anyways), listen for the heart beat with the Doppler, etc. I can't wait to hear the h/b - we have only seen it, which I'm sure is just as sweet, but hearing it is also amazing I bet. After that appointment, I'll actually start seeing the OB's during my monthly appointments. There are 3 in my Dr's office & you have to see each of them throughout your pregnancy just in case one who isn't your primary is on call the day you go into labor/are induced.

Today, I am 8w3d & am still nervous & think I'll remain that way until we get out of the 1st tri. I know stuff can happen after that time & I know that the chance of miscarriage after seeing the h/b drops to between 2-5%, but IDK...the 1st tri is just so filled with nervousness & worry, especially for a Worry Bud like me! I can't wait for everything to come - hearing the h/b for the first time, finding out the sex, getting a bump, designing a nursery, shopping for the baby's stuff, registering for/having a baby shower, and of course - finally getting to meet our precious LO. I still continue to pray everyday that our baby continues to do well & grow big & strong, so that we can meet him/her in November! An by the grace of God - so far , so good & we couldn't be more thrilled!! We even told a few more family members & close friends/co-workers! We are waiting to really tell everyone until after the 1st tri is over, which will be later NEXT MONTH!! Can you believe that...how quickly time has flown?! I hope it keeps flying fast so that we get to meet Baby WB ASAP! Thanks as always for all the continued T&P! I will update again later this week or early next about tomorrow's visit.

1st baby related ultrasound!

Yaaaay! Yesterday went awesome. I was so nervous walking into my RE's office, but Mr. Worry Bud assured me that everything would be alright...don't you love how men are always so confident? LOL. Anyways, the u/s yesterday went AMAZING!!! As soon as the tech stuck the probe (vag cam) in, we saw a big black sac and a little white mass looking thing towards the bottom of the sac (there is also the yolk sac right above the baby). That little white mass is our pride & joy - Baby Worry Bud!!


Yep, only one LO growing in there, but we are more than thrilled with that as long as our baby is happy & healthy. The u/s tech took some measurements, then zoomed in for "the fun stuff". And we saw our baby's sweet little heart flickering on the monitor (116 beats per min :o). It was one of the best moments of my life - and even Mr. WB almost cried. :) I finally felt like I could breathe at least a small sigh of relief. Afterwords, we sat down with my wonderful nurse & she gave us instructions for the next few weeks - I am to continue the Endometrin 2x a day until March 27th, then I can go down to once a day until April 4th; I also continue my Estradiol 2x a day until April 4th; stop the baby aspirin now. As soon as we left the office, Mr. WB called his mom on speaker & told her she was going to be a grandma - she cried. She always cries about EVERYTHING, so no surprise there but she was so happy.

Based on the talk with my nurse, I will get one more ultrasound at my RE's office when I'm just about 8 weeks & then will likely be released, so she advised that I call my OB/GYN to set up a prenatal appointment with them. I called yesterday afternoon & my first appointment is March 31st! It will be an "intake appointment" with a nurse & she will discuss the Dos & Don'ts, ask questions, etc. Then, the next appointment will be about two weeks later where they will listen for the baby's heartbeat with the Doppler. I plan on asking how many ultrasound's I get at my first appointment. I know for sure my OB/GYN doesn't do u/s in office, so I'd have to go somewhere else.

Today I am 6 weeks, 4 days pregnant & am due on November 6, 2010!! As always, I want to thank all of you for the continued thoughts & prayers - they have really helped us get thru this IVF cycle! I get to go back on March 26th for another look at Baby WB, woot!! Until then, I'll be counting down the days!

IVF #1 = BFP!!!

My beta #1 came in today (13dp5dt or 18dpo) at 519 - I'm pregnant! The nurse who called (mine was not in the office, so another nurse called with the good news) asked if I already knew. And, well, dear BB followers, I confess...I did! I POAS on Friday (2/27/2010) because I started spotting & decided to test just to see wth was going on - and to my surprise, it was a BFP! The spotting slowed & stopped by that same night - I think it was the Endometrin (progesterone suppositories) irritating my cervix. I have been POAS every single morning since then to see if the line was getting darker & it has - yesterday's was darkest, even darker than the control line! This is what is sitting in my bathroom right now:

I haven't taken a pic of yesterday's (where the line was darker) & I didn't POAS this morning since I knew I was doing my beta today! I go in Friday for a follow up beta, but in the mean time, I am to continue all my meds as I'm taking them now except reduce my Endometrin to twice a day. I'm very happy about that because that means I won't have to do them at work anymore! We will likely have our first u/s in a couple weeks.

I don't have too many words to express how I feel right now - I think I'm still in a lot of shock that this is actually real. Mr. Worry Bud & I are very cautiously excited about everything & giving praise to God for this amazing blessing. I truly want to thank each of you for all the thoughts & prayers you have been sending our way...it all means so so much to us. Please don't stop - we still have several hurdles to get over & will definitely appreciate your continued T&P. But, for today - I am pregnant & I love my baby(ies)! Many blessings to each of you.

Sorry to leave you hanging...ET update!

So, after my last post, I went back to work for the first time since our crazy snow storm + President's Day & as you can imagine, after nearly two weeks away...I have been REALLY busy! So, let me give you a quick recap...

Tuesday, February 16

Went to work on time, although I found out we had a 2 hour delay! FAIL. Got a call from my nurse, then Dr. G that my transfer would be moved to a 5 day transfer because all of our embryos are all grade 1 at this point (1 being most desirable for transfer & 4 being the least desirable) & it's difficult to select the best two at this point!! Woot.

Embryo stats on day 3 (should be between 6-8 cells per my RE):

• 1 - 9 cell
  
• 2 - 8 cells
• 1 - 6 cell

Wednesday, February 17

Given directions for my 5dt tomorrow - 1:30pm. Not much to report other than all embryos still growing & dividing normally.

Embryo stats on day 4 (no day 4 grading criteria, but all looks well per my RE):

• 2 - compacted embryos (essentially stage prior to blastocyst)
• 1 - 12 cell
• 1 - 10 cell

Thursday, February 18

Went to work in the morning, Mr. Worry Bud came past my job & we headed to my RE's main office for the ET. Drank 20 oz. water on the way. Side note - I read a lot of blogs about IVF & always read that the worse part of the ET was having to have a full bladder. A lot of women said it was soooo uncomfortable - I thought maybe they were exaggerating a bit. Ummm, no they weren't...I literally thought I'd pee on myself, lol. We had to confirm our identities, sign some papers on how many would be being transferred & the Dr. talked a bit about our two still hanging tight. He said they'd watch them until tomorrow & then decide if they are eligible for cryopreservation (freezing) for possible future cycles. Transferred two BEAUTIFUL, expanding blasts!!! Embryologist gave us a photo & told us that the blasts looked "really great"! I rested about 7 minutes (RE requires 5), then I quickly got dressed & ran to the bathroom right outside the room!

And without further adieu - I introduce the hopefully future Little Worry Bud(s):

(Ignore the little red circle in the middle of lil blast on the right, I think that's a glitch on the actual photo.)

I'm home on bed rest for 24 hours & then on limited activity for the next two weeks. I am to continue my 3x/day Endometrin (progesterone) suppositories, 2x/day Estradiol, 1x/day baby aspirin & 1 PNV. And now we wait....beta scheduled for March 3rd! IDK if I'll be able to hold out that long before POAS, but we shall see!

It's Mr. WB's birthday this weekend, so I'm hoping to cook him a nice dinner & be able to go grab his gift on Saturday/Sunday. Besides that, I'm taking it easy this weekend. Thank you all so, so, so, so MUCH for all the prayers, positive vibes, thoughts, etc. this week. I know every one of you sending us & our embryos T&P made a difference & we appreciate it from the bottom of our hearts. Please keep us in your thoughts & prayers during what the RE who did my ET said will be "the longest two weeks of our lives".

FINALLY got fert report #2!!

I literally thought I would die waiting for today's report. Seriously. I have definitely been trying very hard to think positively & be optimistic after my semi depressing post yesterday, but it has really been rough. I have been constantly praying & thinking positive thoughts about our 4 embies, and so far, combined with everyone else thinking of us, I feel like it is working! The good news is: all 4 are still growing & dividing!!! I'm so happy/relieved to hear this....so far, we have (the nurse said they just look @ the # of cells @ this point; didn't/couldn't provide grades):

1 - 5 cell
2 - 4 cells
1 - 2 cell

I am scheduled for a 3dt tomorrow @ 2:45pm. Since I have been out of work for almost 2 weeks, I plan on going into the office for the morning & then leaving early to go to the ET. At around 1pm, Mr. Worry Bud will come by my job to pick me up & we'll head over to my RE's main office (where all the ERs & ETs take place) & get there by 2:15pm. Then, I have to do 24 hours bed rest. I will likely work from home on Wednesday while I finish out my 24 hours of bed rest. My nurse says there is still a chance for a 5dt on Thursday, but she won't really know until tomorrow morning around 10am. I would be okay with waiting until Thursday, but either way, I definitely want to transfer at least 2! And tomorrow, I'll definitely remember my penguin socks Chef Bud sent me. ;oP

Thanks to all of you who have been thinking of us, praying for us, sending us positive vibes, etc. I KNOW they are working, so please keep them coming...my embies need them!

Please God, let this be it for us.

Egg Retrieval & disappointing fert report. :o(

We did my ER yesterday morning at 8:45am. I was a little scared since I had never been under anesthesia, but everything went well...I was literally in the operating room talking to the nurses, then the anesthesiologist told me he was administering part 2 of the drugs & next thing I know I was back in my recovery area. I rested there for a bit, then the nurse had me walk around & they discharged me. Before we left, the nurse told me that they got 17 eggs! I was happy with that # since my nurse told me that the average # was 10-20 eggs retrieved. When we got home, I laid in bed all day & let Mr. Worry Bud cater to me. :o) We were told to expect a call with the fertilization report today between 12pm-3pm.

Well, Dr. G just called me & here is my very disappointing fert report #s:

• 18 eggs retrieved (I guess maybe they counted wrong yesterday?)
• Only 7 were mature
• 5 fertilized - 1 abnormally, 4 normally

So 4, we have 4 embryos developing. I am soooo disappointed with this #s & I'm sure Dr. G could hear the disappointment in my voice, b/c he said that he knows going from 18 down to 4 seems very disappointing, but he triggered me a day earlier than he had originally expected to since I was responding so well to the meds & at risk for OHSS. I told Mr. WB that I thought I was being triggered a bit early, but that I figured that was the reason why - and although, I know just how dangerous OHSS can be & I'd never want to risk that for more mature eggs, it is still disappointing. Dr. G was saying that 4 was still good though since we will only be transferring 1-2 anyways, but I'm still upset. He asked if I had any questions, and I couldn't think of any, so he said he'll call me again tomorrow with an update. Ugh. This pretty much means that if this cycle fails, then I'll have to do another very time consuming fresh cycle (vs. an Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET)). :o( I'm trying not to think of that outcome, but realize it's a possibility & still trying to stay positive about this. I know God is watching over our 4 little embryos & is seeing to it that they continue to thrive. Please, Lord...watch over & protect our babies. Please let all 4 of them continue to grow & thrive & allow the two best to be ready for transfer on Tuesday or Thursday. Thank you for all that you do for us. Please help us to be the one thing we want to be more badly than anything else in this world - parents. Please help me to remain positive & optimistic about our chances for a happy & healthy pregnancy after this cycle. I love you Lord, Amen.

Sorry for a bit of a depressing post, but I'm still pretty upset about the #s. I know God has a plan for us & our embryos, but it is difficult not to be upset that only 22% of our embryos fertilized normally. And now of course, I'm starting to think of the "what ifs". What if he had allowed me to stim one additional day? What if he did & I developed OHSS? What if more were mature & fertilized normally? Would I feel a bit more excited rather than nervous? What if this cycle fails? I know the answer is that we will try to immediately cycle again (& luckily, we did Shared Risk so we have several more cycles left), but still...ugh. How will I handle that? Please send us any spare prayers, thoughts, vibes - anything you got - that our embryos continue to grow & make it to transfer this week. And also that 1-2 of the transferred embryos stick & we are celebrating our BFP in a couple of weeks. Thanks guys for everything. :o)

Triggering TONIGHT!!!

OMG, I can hardly believe I'm typing this right now, but I am triggering TONIGHT for my Egg Retrieval (ER) on Saturday! Eeeek! I'm a little nervous about how large the needle is, but I'm sure it'll be fine...just like all the other injections. I am hoping my sister (who is a nurse) can come over & do this injection - Mr. Worry Bud is a little nervous about doing it & this one must be done exactly right!

Photo Credit

Backing up a bit...this morning I went in for my fourth monitoring appt. & u/s this AM. During the scan, Dr. G said, "everything looks great & you may be triggering tonight for a retrieval on Saturday." I was like, "really"?! And he said he'd have to confirm by looking at my b/w, but to go ahead & sit down with a nurse to get trigger instructions & make an appt. for tomorrow morning just in case I needed to come in tomorrow. Well, I got my instructions & made my appt. & the front desk lady said, "okay, see you tomorrow." And I said, "actually, hopefully you won't see me tomorrow :o)" & she laughed. The rest of the afternoon, I have been waiting on a call from my nurse letting me know if I am ready to trigger...she called about an hour ago & said, "I have good news, you don't have to come in tomorrow for any more monitoring b/c you're triggering tonight!" I was so excited, I forgot to ask my Estrogen/E2 levels, but here are my follie measurements from today's scan (my office only measures the largest 4 on each side):

Left: 18.5, 16.6, 16.1, 13.9 & several smaller ones
Right: 17.9, 17.1, 15.6, 15.3 & several smaller ones

I am still waiting on a call from my center's surgery scheduler for the exact time to trigger, but it's definitely tonight with my ER on Saturday. I have really been so fortunate this whole process --> the whole week of all my daily monitoring - out of work; ER on a Saturday with plenty of days to recover because Monday is a federal holiday! I think the Lord has truly been overseeing this whole process & I'm so excited about the fact that in a couple of weeks, we could get the best news of our young, married lives!! Please continue praying for us & sending any positive vibes you have our way - I know they make a big difference!

A snowy follie check #4!

I apologize for not getting on here to update yesterday, but I have been monitoring every day this week, so I've been running back & forth a lot!

**********************************************
First off - this snow has been a gift & a curse this week. Due to how quickly/well my body is responding to the stims, I have had to go in for monitoring every day this week! Thankfully, I have been off due to the snow all week.

Anywho, we (Mr. Worry Bud wouldn't let me drive in alone) drove in to my fertility center's main office this AM during blizzard #2 in my area in less than a week! The roads were pretty horrible w/low visibility, but I really wanted to make it in b/c of my estrogen levels & the amt. of follies I have growing as of last count (approx. 25). Here are the measurements/#s from today's monitoring appt:

Estrogen: 1,619 (up 100 from 1,519 yesterday)

Follies (this office measures the largest 6 on each side):

Left Ovary: 12.3, 16.2, 13.5, 14.3, 14.8, 10.9

Right Ovary: 14.5, 13.1, 15.5, 15.6, 13.8, 12.6

The RE who did my scan this morning said that my RE (Dr. G) is doing an excellent job pacing me b/c I have the potential to "go off to the races" (her words). So thank goodness for my RE's great care - I love him! He is so hands on; prior to starting my cycle, I was a little nervous b/c I go to the largest fertility center in the US (at least that's what their literature says) & I had read a few reviews about my clinic being a factory, but based on my personal experience, that really doesn't seem accurate to me. They have taken excellent care of me so far...Dr. G has either performed or been standing in on almost every single u/s I have had. He could have easily just let the u/s tech do them & give him the reports, but he always stands in & answers any questions I have. I also love my nurse Jane, she is so sweet, awesome & always takes the time to answer all of my 15,908,734 questions!

I'm very happy that my Estrogen only went up by 100 b/c it was climbing pretty fast there for a while. A fellow IVF'er who goes to the same clinic as me said that our clinic usually won't trigger at Estrogen levels above 4,000, but prefer that it not be above 3,000, so I'm looking good so far...whew! The RE who did my scan this AM said they like to see at least 3 follies above 18mm to trigger & it looks like I will be there by Friday since follies tend to grow 1-2mm per day during stims & I have at least 2 more nights of stims (possibly more).

I go back in tomorrow morning for more monitoring - hopefully, I'll be able to go into my regular office. So far, looking good to trigger on Friday!! As always, thanks for all the T&P - it is all very very appreciated!