It's ALIVE!

I'm very happy to tell you all that todays ultrasound went well. Not only was there a heartbeat (cue my exhaling for the first time in weeks), but Baby Cactus Bud was wiggling all around too. It doesn't show in the picture very well, but at different points during the scan I could see all four limbs, the spine, even a hand that seemed to be going to the face. It was really surreal to see the image on the screen. I seriously could've watched it all day.

This is the third different doctor I've been to for this pregnancy, not counting the ER trip. Thankfully from now on (hopefully) I'll be going to the same building with the same 'team'. I'd like to try and get the same doctor if I can as I liked her, but I'd like to meet them all since I don't know who'll be delivering when the time comes. With the change in doctor came a change in my due date. Again. I'm now back to October 15th, the date that comes up if you go by my last menstrual period. October 15th is also exactly what the baby was measuring, 11w5d.

The bulk of the appointment was going over my history. I'm happy to say that not only did the doctor have a clue about my history, but the nurse that weighed me in did too. I was totally expecting to have to tell them about the miscarriage, it was nice to only have to add on how far along I was at the time.

After the history was done, they tried to do an annual exam. I had one at my civilian doctors in January...but they don't have access to the records. Whatever. The ultrasound was going to be vaginal anyways, so I knew I was already going to spot. If you *need* to do a pap, knock yourself out. I warned them that I think I have a sensitive cervix and that I was pretty sure it would bleed with that...but they wanted to try. Lets just say that the doctors reaction to how sensitive my cervix is involved the word "Wow". She ended up throwing in the towel on the pap smear (so much blood it would come back inconclusive from the lab) and gave me paperwork for my medical records to be sent to them. Ha! Told ya! I've now been officially diagnosed as having a 'very sensitive cervix'. As much as it sucks to know I'll be spotting pretty bad in the next day or so, I'm pretty happy that they came to the same conclusion I did about the spotting and that its nothing that will threaten the pregnancy. Unfortunately, she says I'm stuck with it for the duration of the pregnancy. Kind of a bummer, but I'll take it in a heartbeat if it means a baby in the end.

I asked the doctor how my heart-shaped uterus will play into things moving forward. She said that with anatomy like mine, the trick is usually getting pregnant. This surprised me as I seem to get pregnant pretty easily (50% of the months we tried), its staying pregnant that is more challenging for me. From what she said it didn't sound like she anticipates my having higher chances for early delivery or a c-section. Very good news.

She said all my bloodwork came back normal (at the first appointment they took A LOT of blood and a urine sample). I was sent for another blood draw today, this one to go with the NT scan which is next week.

I ended up having a job interview this afternoon, so my shopping spree for clothes that actually fit had to be put off till tomorrow. Looking forward to it more than I thought I would. I'll also likely be pulling the trigger on a home doppler soon too. I figure it will ease my worries in the month between doctor visits and will come in handy at the end of the pregnancy when the kid can't move much.

My next appointment is April 7th for the NT scan. The next regular appointment I have is May 9th. That will just be a doppler check and Q&A time.

23 week appointment and a game plan!

Went in for my 23 week appointment today. Everything looks great so far. I've had hideous lower back pain for the past 3 days to the point where I can't get up and down sometimes without crying. Turns out that baby boy is burrowed way down deep in my uterus. He has all this room to move around and he's shoved himself as low down as he can go. And stretched out sideways. So mama is in a world of pain right now until he moves. I'm pretty sure he's afraid of big sister who likes to still climb on me and get a little too rough sometimes so he's hiding.

Met with one of my OB's today instead of a PA and instantly liked her. We discussed in detail my concerns about my last labor/delivery and what I want out of this one. She knows how badly I want the VBAC to be successful and how scared I am of another failed induction. She was encouraging of us hiring a doula. I also discussed that I don't want an epidural offered to me. I want to ask for it when I want it. I'm afraid if it's offered, I'll be weak and take it. I want to have it when I'm ready for it and to only have it offered if we're nearing the window of me not being able to have it at all. So she wrote that down in my folder and told me to also discuss this with my L&D nurse when I go into labor.

The latest they are willing to let me go is 41 weeks. If I haven't gone into labor naturally on my own by then, we will not induce. My choice. My VBAC success with an induction is low based on my history of failed induction and slow progression. The recovery from a c-section after an induction based labor is shown to be more difficult than recover from a scheduled c-section. Those aren't odds I really want to gamble with so at 41 weeks, I'll opt for a scheduled c-section if I haven't gone into labor on my own. Since I want to push it as late as possible, she said we will schedule the c-section for 41 weeks exactly. If that ends up being the case, Baby Sunflower Bud and Sunflower Bud will share a birthday. Not a bad birthday present, in my opinion. :)

~ Sunflower Bud ~

Tufts you suck!

Last time I posted, I was anxiously counting down the days until AF shows up. Now I am begging and pleading for AF to be a week or more late. Why? Because my insurance denied our claim for IVF. They say I need to do three FSH + IUI cycles first. After sobbing on the phone to my RE, he agrees that IVF is our best bet. He feels as though the IUIs have a very slim chance of working. Yesterday they resubmitted the request with notes from him this is best chance for us with the lowest possibilities of problems (like HOM). If they reject it again, then the office will just put in for the IUIs.

That being said, the chances of us actually being able to do anything this cycle are slim to none. I absolutely hate that we are being forced to wait and it is so messing up our plans. Mr. Plannerbud and I just booked a cruise mid-July. Have much thinking we decided to keep our trip booked, even though it means we won't be able to cycle that month. If we have to do the three IUIs, we want to do them back to back as much as we can, so May, June and August. We would then begin the IVF hopefully right afterward. Just the thought that it may be September before we can do something that actually can get us pregnant is heart wrenching. I really don't know how I'm going to handle to disappointment until then. It just seems way too long away.

FINALLY!!!!!

AF finally showed up! I haven't been this happy to see her in a long time... It has already been a little over 6 weeks since our miscarriage, and while AF is a painful reminder of what an emotional journey this has been so far... I know my journey hasn't been as long and difficult as some of my fellow buds and readers, but it really sucks when it actually happens to you :-/

I am fine with it... But the only thing I don't like is being in limbo, like I said in my last post. I appreciate all the T&P, and want to say that I do see the silver lining... I am just praying for some clarity in the meantime.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Sweet Pea at 8 Weeks

That is my little sweet pea! We were not expecting an ultrasound but the midwife did one and it was incredible! Little Buttercup Bud's heart rate was 160 BPM and going strong. It was amazing. We printed out the picture and now it is on our fridge.

The midwife said according to her wheel I am due 11/10. However, I am still sticking with my calculations because I know when I ovulated. Besides, 2 days doesn't really make a difference because baby will come whenever he/she is ready. Although I do think an an 11/11/11 birthday would be cool.

Mr. Buttercup Bud and I were so excited/relieved to see our sweet little baby. It was wonderful seeing our little baby for the first time, even though he/she looks more like a kidney bean. I was so proud of our little baby for his/her little heart pumping away.

My next appointment I will be 12 weeks, wahoo! Almost out of first tri, thank God! I am so ready! I have been so sick. Our midwife offered to give me a prescription for nausea but I declined. I am really trying to be med free all the way through. Even if that is crazy, I figure I might as well start now so I can be prepared for a natural birth.

Until next time!

Buttercup Bud

3.5 Weeks

So its been 3.5 weeks since it was for sure a failed cycle. I felt like I had come to terms with it not working, that we really were going to be doing nothing for the next year in terms of medically intervening with TTC and that we may not have kids for a while. Then of course I then had three baby blessings that we went to (which is great just makes me sad we don't have our own to bless), then my lovely knocked up cousin was there for two of those, just rubs in the envy (love it and my 17 year old cousin told her mom that she can't believe "the cousin" was keeping her baby becuase she would be a better mom than "the cousin" at 17, so true) and then we went to my in-laws and seeing them playing with my nephew mad me even sadder that we don't have any kids for them to love on. So pretty much I am back to a HUGE pity party and spend a lot of time in tears. Mr. Explorer is very supportive and says it is alright that I am a bit of a wreak again but that I will feel better and worse probably some more! It is nice to have someone just to let me be a big baby without trying to get me out of my funk, sometimes I just want to be sad!!

April Mr. Explorer Bud and I are going to get onto the healthy eating band wagon and back to working out. I am sure that will be helpful to get out of this pity party and feeling better about my weight and fitness levels! I think I will sign up for a Triathlon this summer so I have something to plan for and train for so I have something besides babies to obsess about. Poor Mr. Explorer Bud was going off our broken scale to gauge his weight gain and then he was out of town for the weekend and used the hotel scale and recieved a rude awakening, 20 lbs heavier than he thought he was!! This morning we mushed our bellies together to compete who has the ugliest fat belly!! He won when he made it look like a hairy butt crack!!

So I will be looking forward to April when I hopefully will stop thinking about babies or the lack thereof!

Standing at a crossroad

Hello, all. I have been MIA for a bit for a few reasons... Partly because I haven't really wanted to think about this whole TTC thing for a bit, and really there's not much to say at the moment. It's been 6 weeks since our loss, and I am doing a bit better... I still wish things were different, but I know that's normal. It's just funny because 2011 has already been a very interesting and trying year... And we're not even in April yet! It's been a bit exhausting, to tell you the truth.

AF had not appeared yet, so I am waiting for that while we decide what our next move will be. Also exploring some BC options aside from an actual BCP... Any suggestions?

The next couple of months are a major crossroad for us... We will be deciding if we are putting TTC back on the shelf and will TTA due to my career, or if we are going to start trying again in full force. I guess we'll have to wait a bit more and see! In the meantime... I'll try to be patient. The keyword here is "try".




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Spring is in the Air Giveaway Winners!

Hey guys! Thanks to everyone who entered the Spring is in the Air Giveaway on Bloomin' Babies last week & a special thanks to our awesome & very talented host - Mimi's Babies! I am so jealous of today's winners because I absolutely love her Etsy shop!

Without further adieu, winner #1 of a beautiful, handmade flower headband {of your choice}is...
 

Lucky #7

nicole, who said...

I like the Eggplant Purple Crochet Flower on Black Skinny Elastic Headband!

And winner #2 is...


Lucky #13

Tracey, who said...

I like the ladybug headband -too cute!
 

CongratsNicole & Tracey !! Thanks so much for entering our Spring is in the Air Giveaway & for reading/checking out Bloomin' Babies!! I'm sending you an email & you will have 48 hours to respond to me or I will have to select another winner{s}. I hope each of you enjoy your prize!!

We hope everyone enjoyed this great giveaway & hope to bring our readers regular reviews & giveaways more often...so if you didn't win this time, keep an eye out for our next giveaway! Thanks SO much again to all of our readers & followers!! Have a great week. :)

Losing Hope at 10 DPO

This morning I awoke to pure excitement thinking today would be THE day. Today would be the day my life would change forever. Today would be the day I would get that BFP I have deperately wishing for. I hopped out of bed at 5:00 AM knowing that it was finally an acceptable time to test. I had only been counting down the hours since the morning before. I had woken up at 2 AM but I decided to get a few more hours of sleep and let my HCG hormones build up. I had also fought back the urge to test at 8 PM the night before during a moment of weakness. I quietly slipped in the bathroom, being sure not to wake a sleeping Mr. PB&J and grabbed a HPT. I took a deep breath as I tore open the packaging with a mix of emotions playing through my head. I waited in pure agony as the result window was washed over with urine.

::Nothing. Nothing. Test line. Hmm. Where's the result line? Why is it not showing up? Don't lose hope. Maybe it just hasn't been enough time. You are only 10 DPO, your HCG levels are still week, if at all present::

While I am looming over the bathroom counter starring at test results I have seen all too often, and hoping that when the three minute window has lapsed I will see two glorious lines, I get a glimpse of my bathroom trash. At first I laugh. Holy fuck, I am only 10 DPO. Haha. I'm pathetic.

But then another emotion creeps in. Saddness. Sadness for the $30 of test I have wasted in the last three days. I feel like a junkie. And I feel sadness for the hope I have lost with each negative test. Not just the hope I'd lost over the last three days but the hope I'd lost over the last year. Every month my bathroom trash can shows a similar picture. And a years worth of sadness boils over and I start to tear up.

Today I am having a hard time accepting the failures over the last year. This one year mark is a tough pill to swollow. While I know it would be foolish to say this cycle is a bust I just can't believe I am here. 1 full year of TTC and nothing to show for it. Depression is not something I am accustomed to. But each month, around 10 DPO, my hope turns to despair. I'm an optimist and TTC is beginning to change that.

I just want to get these next few days over with so I can move on. Move on to another cycle (or pregnancy.......not likely) and a new attitude. Like I said I am an optimist at heart and somehow, someway my hope is renewed with each cycle day 1. If I lose hope, then what? But maybe that iswhy I crash so hard come 10 DPO? But I can't lose hope....

**Side Note - I do typically use internet cheapies to support my POAS habit. Just this cycle I ran out and my only option was to buy a box (or two) of HPTs from Wal-Mart. Well, ok, that really that wasn't my only option. My other option would have been NOT to test. But that's not gonna happen. I just don't want any of you to think financially irresponsible as well lacking in self control. I do have limits :P**

PB&J Bud :)

Houston, We Have A Fetus!

11 Weeks!

Most places seem to agree that the fetal stage begins right about now, so I guess that means we have a fetus in there. From here on out things are being fine-tuned and growing like crazy. The bambino should be about the size of a lime this week. Crazy to think I'm clear up to lime already when sweet pea seemed unattainable before.

I'm starting to get really nervous and excited about my ultrasound that is FINALLY due to happen on Thursday. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm hopeful that I might actually get to see a heartbeat and a wiggling baby in there. I'm preparing myself for bad news though. Maybe that sounds strange to some, but its easier for me to be pleasantly surprised than heartbroken again. If anyone has some spare good thoughts to send my way on Thursday, I'd appreciate them. I'll be going to the appt on my own since Mr Cactus Bud can't get off from work.

If it goes well, there will be a shopping spree to follow. I've been itching to get a home doppler and need to get maternity pants. Haven't been able to pull the trigger and do either yet. I'm figuring it will be my reward for a good appt this week.

(Image credit: http://tinyurl.com/5uccd5v )

How far along: 11 weeks

Total weight change: +3

Maternity clothes: No, but most days I really need the pants. Getting some will be my reward for having a good appt on Thursday.

Stretch Marks: No

Movement: Too early

Sleep: My back has been giving me issues in the past week (I'm prone to back issues even when not pregnant). I've had to resort to Tylenol to help as my lack of sleep was interfering with my functioning like a human being.

Best Moment This Past Week: Getting to the baby to the fetus stage and being in the home stretch to the elusive ultrasound. Also a good moment was realizing I'd made it 10 days+ without spotting (Probably because I put myself on pelvic rest and have been faithful to Mr. Metamucil. I needed a break from the bleeding or I'd be BSC with the ultrasound looming right now. Sucks to be on rest, but I think it clearly tells us whats the cause of the spotting.)

Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: Having the ultrasound looming out there. I"m alternately excited and terrified of it.

Belly Button In or Out: Definitely still in

Cravings/Aversions: I was able to eat scrambled eggs this week! Been downing milk and cheese like there is no tomorrow.

Symptoms: What symptoms? Seriously, the only symptoms I've been having with regularity are sore boobs and a slowed down digestive system (and all the joy that comes with that). Nausea is all but gone (occasional wave in the evenings, that's it). Food aversions are lessening (mostly I want to eat everything in sight). Oh, I guess ninja hunger would be a symptom. I call it ninja hunger cuz it sneaks up on me.

What I'm Looking Forward To: The ultrasound on Thursday and telling family in a couple weeks.

Take care,

Nothing but confusion this morning.

Today I am 8 DPO.......or at least I think I am 8 DPO. Remember I only half assed charted this month. Anyway, because I have no self control I decided to test this morning at 6 AM and I was totally prepared to get a BFN. I peed on the stick, waited for a few minutes, checked the test, saw a BFN and then went back to bed. Once I was in bed I told myself I was a complete idiot for testing 8 DPO because the odds of getting anything but a BFN is astronomical. And besides, I have been trying for a year, what makes me think that I could possible be pregnant this time around.

Fast forward to 8 AM. The baby was up so before getting her out of her crib I decided to fish the HPT out of the trash and to torture myself one last with my stark white test. But then, there it was. A FAINT line. And I do mean FAINT. Faint enough that I couldn't get the line to show up on a pic so I could ask what you guys think. But Mr. PB&J saw the line too so at least I know I'm not delusional. Or if I am, he is too.

::sigh::

I don't know what to think. Odds are it's an evaporation line, right? I mean, I don't want to get my hopes up only to discover I am an idiot who is grasping at straws.

But, what if I am pregnant? OMG, what if I have another miscarriage? What if I don't? I wonder what the due date will be? Let's look on the internet. No wait, I shouldn't get ahead of myself. Oh what the hell. Wow, my due date is December 9, 2011. One day after Little PB&J's two year birthday. Hmm, should I call my mom and tell her? No, I should wait. ::reality check:: Deep down you know it's an evaporation line, stop thinking happy thoughts.

::sigh::

I guess I am going to run out to Dollar Tree a little later today and buy some HPT. I have some more First Response Tests in my cabinets but I would hate to waste those. I will update my post later with the results. Fingers crossed......

**Update**

Here is a pic of the test I took this morning. But, I have come to my senses and I am calling it an evap line. Ugh. Sorry for the false alarm! TTC can make you lose reason.....

PB&J Bud :)

Come in AF!

This has been the weirdest few days of TTC that I have had so far. I am been egging on AF to show. Can you believe that? Crazy infertile me calling on AF to come in? Really? I am only 5 dpo, but I would be super excited if AF decided to show tomorrow.

I am really at the point where I want to start our IVF cycle soon. I looked at all my shot information (which scares the sh*t out of me) and I need to call the insurance liaison and injections nurse next week.

April 4th (the projected day of AF's arrival) seems like ages from now. It is very relaxing to not be thinking about TTC as much. I am having caffeinated coffee in the morning and a glass of wine or beer at night (GASP!).

I hope this next week and half is as short as this entry.

Only 2 more days to enter the Spring is in the Air Giveaway!

Don't forget to enter for your chance to win a beautiful, handmade flower headband from Mimi's Babies:

http://bloominbabies.blogspot.com/2011/03/spring-is-in-air-giveaway.html

This giveaway closes Sunday night at 11:59pm, so enter now! Good Luck!

I want my body back

Here is a short recap of my weight gain/weight loss over the last two years

• April 2009 120 lbs
• December 2009 182 lbs
• May 2010 124 lbs
• September 2010 140 lbs
• December 2010 129 lbs
• February 2011 138 lbs
• Today 133 lbs

It's been 2 years since I felt good in my skin. Like, really felt good. Two years ago this April I found out I was pregnant with Little PB&J Bud. After the shock of a BFP wore off I swore I was going to remain healthy and fit throughout my pregnancy. I was already working out regularly and eating a healthy, well balanced diet. So it wouldn't have be an adjustment to maintain that lifestyle for the next 40 weeks. Ha. That mentality lasted for about 5 minutes. Morning sickness set in and there wasn't much I could eat. And if I could stomach it, chances are it wasn't healthy. And by the time my first trimester (and morning sickness) was over, I had embraced my less than ideal diet and lack of exercise. Unfortunately this lifestyle continued well after Little PB&J Bud was born. But even with my poor eating habits, I did manage to get within 4 lbs of my pre-pregnancy weight while BFing. It was great! I dropped the 60 lbs I gained during my pregnancy without having to adjust my lifestyle!

However, once I stopped BFing in May of 2010 (and continued eating bad and not exercising) the weight crept back on. By September I weighed an all time high of 140 lbs. I had gained 16 lbs! And my boobs went from a size D back to an A. I had an enormous ass and small boobs. WTF. I was in such a rut, that I began to accept my new body. I had always been a skinny girl and very active, but I had just kinda given up, ya know? I felt uncomfortable in anything other than an oversize t-shirt and yoga pants. I loathed having to get dressed and leave the house. Often I would have a mini break down (complete with tears and all) trying to find an outfit that didn't make me feel like a stuffed sausage. It sucked. Finally I had enough, and about 10 months after Little PB&J Bud was born I decided to give the South Beach Diet a go. It was great. I dropped lbs fast, slimmed down, felt better about myself and I had finally found the motivation to get the weight off. I dropped about 11 lbs! And then I got pregnant! Something we had been trying for for so long! And then I lost the baby. Sigh. And that motivation I had found was lost too. I fell right back into my old habits and over the next three months I gained 9 lbs. I ate bad, didn't exercise and didn't much care about the cellulite that had now moved to the fronts of my thighs. Yes, you read that right, the fronts of my thighs.

About three weeks ago I came to the realization that I CAN feel good about my body again. No, it probably won't be what it once was, prior to Little PB&J. But that doesn't mean I can't have a positive body image. And then I came to another conclusion. I shouldn't be so critical of my body. My body IS an amazing thing. It carried and nurtured Little PB&J Bud for 40 weeks and it did a pretty darn good job, if I do say so myself. My body has allowed me to get this far in life and still remain relatively healthy, even if I didn't always take the best care of it. So what if I don't look like Gisele Bundchen with my clothes off? And so what if I will never been a size 0 again? But I can (and I should) take better care of my body. Sometimes I still hard on myself, and this new mentality is not always easy to embrace. But I am trying to be less critical.

I have gotten back on the South Beach Diet and I have been working out 4 to 5 times a week. It's wonderful to get my motivation back! But I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared that I will fall back into my old habits when I get my BFP. I am afraid that I will let my diet get out of control and I will pack the weight back on. It's especially a concern since I have PCOS making weight loss exceptionally hard. And I feel a little guilty to admit that I am looking forward to not having to share my body with a fetus in my ute. While I welcome pregnancy and it still is my ultimate goal, I want to be done with it. I want to put the chapter of growing babies behind me. I am ready to get my body back. Both in the sense of getting fit and in the sense that my body belongs to me and only me.

Oh and screw you Gisele for being such a freak of nature.

pic credit

PB&J Bud :)

Is It Ovulation?

So I am going to switch back to gluten-free cause I just felt so much better on that. I lost about another 5 pounds since aunt flo left. So on that note I've felt this twinging of pain and it makes me wonder if I'm ovulating? That would be awesome if that is what the pain was :) but of course with that comes the creeping fears of miscarriage.

photo credit

What is more frustrating is I thought I was beyond that... thought I was okay and ready for this. Don't get me wrong I am, but those fears are creeping back in about will I make it past those 6 weeks and if I do will my anxiety fears calm down? Will I not feel peace until I hold the bundle of joy in my arms. UGH!

All these thoughts have been getting me down the last few days... which I don't want. So I had a long talk with God and I just have to put it in his hands. I have to put complete trust that he will take care of me and the miracle my heart so desires... and know it will be okay if I get pregnant this cycle.

I can't help [despite the fears of miscarriage & thinking I wanted to wait two more cycles] hope that I will get pregnant this cycle. And as the days near the end of this cycle I am hoping I get a BFP. I don't think that hope really ever leaves when TTC... even though I say next time I won't get my hopes up or set them to high, but I do anyways... every time without fail.

So as I wait out these last weeks I will wait and see if my next cycle starts or just maybe [hoping] I get a BFP.

POP.... goes the belly button.

It's official, my innie is now an outtie. I have pretty bad belly button issues as it is and cannot stand to have it touched at all. When I was recovering from my lap, the belly button incision is the one that bothered me the most. And now that it's all stretched out and popping out, the last few days were pretty miserable. It was touching everything and completely icked me out. So far today, it's not as bad for some reason.

I'm already starting to find it more difficult to get up and down and to maneuver around. It's interesting how much earlier things happen with your second than your first. I'm officially rolling out of bed instead of just jumping out of bed.

The morning sickness comes and goes. Some days are better than others. Some days my Zofran and I are best friends. Usually if I start out my day with a big glass of orange juice (with pulp) than I'm pretty good for most of the day.

Here is my 20w picture:
I'm still holding strong at only 15 pounds gained so far. Thankfully, my major cravings are apples, oranges and strawberries with the occasional chocolate craving thrown in there.

I've been on a serious organizational binge lately. I've already gotten all of his newborn and 0-3 month clothes washed and put away in the dresser/closet. Yesterday, I spent the day reorganizing our kitchen cabinets to make room for a cabinet for all the bottles/liners/breastmilk storage containers:I'm going to put off washing and prepping all of my cloth diapers until much closer to the time that I'll need them. This is part of the stash so far. I've added 5 more diapers since this picture was taken.

I'm really enjoying all there is to do to get ready. I know I complained that time was dragging but once I hit 20 weeks, time seems to be going too fast now!! I don't mind if he stays in there because I'm at least getting some sleep (despite getting up 2-4 times a night to go to the bathroom) and I'm very much enjoying my morning snuggles with DD when she climbs into my bed for cuddles in the morning.

~ Sunflower Bud ~

16 - 19 week update OR Reintroducing Cherry Bud!

Getting ready for our little one has really put me off my blogging. There just seems to be so much else to do. I've said, every day, for the past three weeks, "I have to blog! Don't forget!". And then what do I do? I forget. Pregnancy Brain, I tell you.

Second Trimester is so much easier than first. Nausea is gone, energy is back. Life is good. I am missing my feet when I stand up, and I am beginning to show signs of the infamous "Pregnant Waddle", but I'm embracing it.

Updates:

- Our Anatomy Scan revealed that Baby Cherry Bud is a little GIRL! I was completely expecting her to be a boy, so when the tech said girl, I was shocked. She turned so we could see her full face, and I'm sorry to say that the first words out of my mouth were "She looks like a little alien!". The ultrasound tech was scandalized, but seriously, that's what she looked like. She's measuring right on schedule and even consented to giving us a little stretch, even though she slept through most of the ultrasound.

- We're refusing to tell anyone her name, which is offending quite a few people. My parents, in particular, are not pleased, but are being accepting of our decision.

- We picked a crib and bedding
My mom and I are actually going to make a quilt inspired by this one, which is from Target. I'm cheap and the thought of spending almost $200 on a set that I will only use the sheet and maybe the crib dust ruffle from just doesn't go well with my penny-pinching sensibilities. I'm still torn on paint color. I wanted to do it a nice spring green, but I'm second guessing.

- We got a few cloth diapers in the mail and I'm fighting to hold off prepping them until we get more. They are just so stinkin' cute! On a side note, telling people I'm using cloth diapers always, always, always get me the side-eye. It's hilarious.

- Our Bradley class starts in two weeks! I can't believe we're to that point!

- I've been feeling our little girl kicking and moving around like crazy. She is always active the minute I sit or lay down, especially when I first wake up in the morning. Mr. CB can't feel her yet, which I think bothers him, but he is being patient.

- This is my 19-week-old belly. Yes, I'm wearing the same shirt I was in my last belly shot. I'm ok with you judging me. I totally do.
Lots of Love,

7 Weeks!

Yay, we have made it to 7 weeks! I am super excited to be getting closer to the second trimester.

I am still pretty nauseous all the time. I eat what I can when it sounds good. I have tried to stay healthy but at this point I am eating what I can keep down. My boobs are still sore too and I feel like they keep growing, it is insane. I am also still really tired all the time. I can sleep through the night, wake up for 3-4 hours, nap for 2-3 hours and then go to bed in 5 hours. I am not sure if I have gained any weight, we don't have a scale at our house. I should find out next week when I have my first appointment with the midwife.

I feel like my lower abdomen/pelvis area has expanded somewhat, it feels hard. Mr. Buttercup Bud has noticed it as well. I have been wearing the BellaBand since last week and I still love it. I imagine my love for that thing will grow as my belly grows.

At 7 weeks baby's hands and feet start forming from the buds that they were. Baby Buttercup Bud has doubled in size this week and is now about the size of a Blueberry, exciting! Here is a picture of what baby looks like now:





More updates after our midwife appointment next week!

-Buttercup Bud

He's Here!!!

After a long Journey, 2 m/c and 1 cp Our little man arrived February 15th at 1:36pm and we could not be happier. He is so perfect and we are so much in love. Labor was amazing and I would do it again in a heartbeat!

Here is my birth story -
Monday 2/14, I had my 39 week appointment and I was 4 centimeters dilated. My Dr stripped my membranes and asked me if I would like to be induced that afternoon or first thing in the morning. Since I knew induction would take a long time I choose to be induced first thing the next morning so that I was able to go home to pack up any last minute things and rest.
Tuesday 2/15, We checked into the hospital at 7am and was in our room and hooked up to the IV's with pitocin by 8:30am.

10:40am - the nurse checked me and I was a little over 5 cm dilated. The contractions were not as painful as I thought but I requested the Epidural just in case the intensified or it was too late to request it (I am so glad I did this).

11:45am - my doctor came to check my progress and break my water. This was the oddest feeling ever... I felt as if I had the Niagara Falls coming down my leg, I can not image my water breaking at home.. I would have freaked out!!! My Contractions were slowing down from 4 minutes apart to 6 minutes apart. My doctor estimated he would be here by 2.

12pm - The cafeteria opened to I told my DH to go grab some lunch since my contractions were slowing down and this would probably take some time. He left with my cousins and I took the opportunity and rested.
1:05pm - I was on skype with my sister and feeling a little pressure and this odd feeling that the baby was pushing and trying to get out of my butt (odd explanation).

1:15pm - The nurse comes in to check on my contractions and I explain to her this odd feeling I was having (truthfully.. I thought the epi was running out and I was feeling the contractions.. I did not want to feel that pain and was ready to ask for another dose of epi). She was hesitant to check me because she had just checked me less than 2 hours ago ans was worried of the risk of infections. I requested her to please check for some assurance. When she lifted the sheet she jumped up and scream.. 'He's right there!!!' OMG.. I almost died.. I was going to have this baby without my doctor and he's not going to be ok.

1:24pm - The nurse runs out of the room screaming to call my DR and grabs another doctor to stand in the room just in case my doctor did not make it on time. She tells me not to push nor make any movements. My DH keeps telling me.. 'This is not our doctor.. where the hell is out doctor?!?!?'...


1:29pm - Thank God my doctor comes running in and gets to work. It was amazing how quick he was dressed, prepped the table and coached me on what to due.

1:32pm - I start pushing.. three pushes later my son was born at 1:36pm weighing 8 pounds 7 ounces at 20 1/2 centimeters. He was so alert and cried for two seconds and then just looked at my Husband and me. Amazing, the best moment of my life.



I had an episiotomy because my hemorrhoids were out to the point my doctor did not want for me to push as much to make the situation worst. My recovery has been challenging due to the hemorrhoids, I had a thromboses Hemorrhoid and went to the rectal surgeon to have it removed but he did not recommend removing it since I have had this procedure done in the past, and prescribed new antibiotic. Two weeks later I can finally sit straight without any pain and my doughnut pillow.

LO almost had to stay in the nursery because of the Billy Rubin due to our blood types not being compatible. The pediatrician told us on our last day of the hospital he was border line but will be able to go home, just to make sure he had sun baths, feed and pooped enough to fight any my blood.


BF was difficult in the first few days, because I was not able to sit due to the hemorrhoids and the only position LO was only able to latch was when we were both laying down. When we arrived home I started pumping to supplement while I recover and now he is back on the breast.


Here are a few pictures...
The day before going into labor -


2 Weeks old -






1 Month & 1 Week -




Thank you for all of those who have wished us well through out my pregnancy. Please never give up, always keep your head up and stay positive. I wish the best to all of those that are TTC.

Lots of love,


Flora Bud

Double Digits!!!

10 weeks! Very excited to be in double digit weeks. 1/4 of the way through the pregnancy!

By week 10, all of your baby's vital organs have been formed and are starting to work together.

As external changes such as the separation of fingers and toes and the disappearance of the tail takes place, internal developments are taking place too. Tooth buds form inside the mouth, and if you're having a boy, his testes will begin producing the male hormone testosterone.

Congenital abnormalities are unlikely to develop after week 10. This also marks the end of the embryonic period — in general, the embryo now has a distinctly human appearance and starting next week your baby will officially be considered a fetus.

Image and development info* credit: http://tinyurl.com/5uccd5v )


How far along: 10 weeks
Total weight change: +3
Maternity clothes: No, but I'm having a helluva time fitting into my old jeans.

Stretch Marks: No
Movement: Too early
Sleep: I've been sleeping really lousy this past week. Not sure why.
Best Moment This Past Week: Getting to double digit weeks and being 1/4 of the way through the pregnancy.

Most Difficult Moment This Past Week: I had a helluva spotting scare. Turned out to be due to a sensitive cervix, but it still scared me something awful.

Belly Button In or Out: Definitely still in
Cravings/Aversions: Still no eggs and BBQ sauce, but overall the aversions are getting better. Symptoms: They've gotten way better. I actually had 3 days in a row with no nausea. It was GLORIOUS. When I have had nausea, its gotten more mild...more like what I had at week 6 or so. I've also had my first round ligament pains (RLP) and my first incidence of my heart racing for no apparent reason (increased blood flow due to pregnancy).
What I'm Looking Forward To: The u/s that is 10 days away and telling family in a few weeks.

(Sorry about the formatting issues. It won't do the line spacing correctly for some reason)

There might be a small chance....

That I *could* get pregnant this cycle.

!!!!!!!

Initially I thought I was out this cycle since I'd be out of town and away from my H during O. The latest I have ovulated (since I began charting) is CD 27 and according to the calendar, I wasn't due to arrive home until CD 31, which was way past any real hope of conceiving a baby. So I decided to enjoy my "off" month and take a charting break......which I am now regretting.

Half way through my 3.5 week trip to FL I got a wild hair and decided to change my departing date and come home 5 days earlier, or on CD 26. So maybe, just maybe there is a chance I might get pregnant (remember, last month I ovulated on CD 27)! To further my excitement, I was super stoked to arrive back home to an overwhelming amount of EWCM, which is an oddity for me. Another promising sign that pregnancy is not out of the question is the morning I left for the airport my temp was 96.50 and the following morning it rose to 97.60. Talk about a spike! But of course I have 15 days of missing temps prior and an explanation for my low temp could have been my 4:30 AM waking time in preparation for my early morning flight (which I missed BTW. Lucky for me I was able to get out later in the day).

So who knows. I guess I will find out the answer in the next few days. Either AF will arrive or I will get my BFP. Sigh. I am not holding my breath. The cynic in me says AF will be arriving any day now......

PB&J Bud :)

Spring is in the Air Giveaway!!

Happy Spring everyone! I bet I'm not the only one to be SUPER excited that spring is finally here, wooo! The winter seems to last for.ever, but I'm happy that today's the first official day of spring & I'm pumped for nicer weather ahead. In honor of this awesome season, Bloomin' Babies has teamed up with Mimi's Babies on Etsy to bring our readers a wonderful giveaway!!

Mimi's Babies' owners, Charissa and Mimi, run a family business that loves to create very special gifts for very special babies! They are SO talented - they create the most adorable beanies, birthday tees, diaper covers, newborn photo props, headbands, bows and more!  They also do personalized and custom creations...so you can work with them to create a special gift for that special child in your life. I came across their shop one night while feeding my baby buying obsession looking for some cute bows & beanies for my little one, and I basically fell in love with their shop! I know you will love them as much as I do!!

Check out some of the adorable things they currently have listed on their Etsy shop:

Like these cute twin boy beanies and lion cub hat & diaper cover:

And these beautiful handmade headbands:

And these super cute girly beanies:

And these adorable birthday tee & hat sets:

And I could keep going & going on their great stuff!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE pretty.much.basically everything in their shop - my little one will definitely be sporting some of their cute headbands & that adorable birdie beanie this spring! Ahhh, cuteness overload! Check out their Mimi's Babies Shop, follow them on Twitter, or check out their Facebook page to see even more of Mimi's Babies' work, hear about exclusive deals & find out about new products being added to the shop!

*~*The Giveaway*~* 

Mimi's Babies is generously giving away two - yes TWO - of their adorable headbands (of your choice) to two lucky Bloomin' Babies readers!! Please ensure that I have a way to get in touch with you if you win - either leave your email address in one of your comment entries or have a link to your email in your Blogger profile. 

**NOTE: This giveaway is open to U.S. & Canada residents only.

WIN IT: Two winners will be drawn & each winner will receive a one of Mimi's Babies adorable headbands (each winner can select the headband of their choice)!! Sooo jealous!

INITIAL ENTRY (MANDATORY): Visit Mimi's Babies & tell me which headband you'd select if you win OR tell me something else you love in her shop!

ADDITIONAL ENTRIES: Please leave a comment for each one so that all your entries will be counted!

• Become a public follower of Bloomin' Babies, or if you already are one let me know
• Add Mimi's Babies to your favorite sellers on Etsy 
• Like Mimi's Babies on Facebook
  
• Follow Mimi's Babies on Twitter
  
• Blog or Tweet about this giveaway & leave a link in the comments
• Grab the Bloomin' Babies button & display it on your blog

This giveaway will run for one week & will close at 11:59pm (EST) on Sunday, March 27, 2011. I will select two winners using Random.org, then post both winners here on Bloomin' Babies. I will contact each winner via email letting them know they won - each winner will then have 48 hours to respond with the information I request or I will have to select another winner{s}. Good luck!!

Have a wonderful weekend & stop back in on Monday (March 28th) morning to find out if you've won!!

Some Things Change You

Sorry to be Debbie Downer, but I wanted to get these feelings out there. I figure by doing so, perhaps someone else who has experienced similar will feel some comfort in not being alone.

Once you've beaten the odds to lose a pregnancy, once you've become one of the 'others' that such things happen to...it changes you. The innocence of pregnancy is gone. You know what it feels like to have a miscarriage. You know what its like to have your dreams come crashing down around you. To feel like you've failed everyone, especially your child. You know what its like to feel more broken than you ever imagined. You know what the dreaded cramps and bleeding combo are like, or maybe you know what to expect with a D&C. You might even know what its like to lay on the u/s table and have the tech look at you with sad eyes and tell you the baby is not alive. The heartbreak is something that is indescribable.

It changes how TTC feels too, at least it did for me. Getting AF was hard before, but after the loss it was a stake through the heart. It was like hitting reset, sending me back to zero...when I was supposed to be at 8 or 12 (or however many) weeks. Every time she showed up it was another glaring reminder of what I'd lost.

And then I got pregnant again. I had no idea how scary those first 6 weeks would be (my loss was at 5+). I had thought that if I could just get pregnant again that things would be fine. The mix of excitement, fear, anxiety and hope in those first few weeks is palpable. Its eased some since the symptoms started to settle in a little more, but its still there. I find myself being somewhat detached from this pregnancy. I'm trying to enjoy it and take it all in, but I honestly don't believe yet that I might actually have a baby in my arms come October. When I discuss it in real life, its usually "If this one sticks..." or "If we're lucky enough to have this work out..". Always with the IF. I realize its a protective mechanism. I want this pregnancy to work out more than anything. I even say a little prayer each night that the little bugger is growing healthy and strong and thanking it for staying put for one more day.

I haven't grieved much for my loss in a few months. Been caught up with TTC and then with being pregnant. I had a moment this past week where it really hit me though. I was walking the dog and was feeling pretty good for the first time in weeks and the thought occurred to me that I was getting into the homestretch of 1st Tri. Then it hit me, my loss EDD and my current EDD are almost exactly a trimester apart. If I'm nearing the end of 1st Tri with this pregnancy, my previous pregnancy would have been approaching 3rd Tri. I'd be feeling the kicking and know if it were boy or girl. Cue waterworks.

I've also had a spotting scare this past week. One involving bright red blood and my pacing around the bathroom while hyperventilating and saying, "No, no, no! This can't be happening. Not again." Scared just doesn't do that moment justice. Thankfully the spotting soon tapered off to brown and involved no cramping. At this point, its being attributed to my cervix being irritated the evening before. In the moment though, I was having flashbacks to November. Last time blood that red meant really bad things.

Spring is in the Air Giveaway starting tomorrow!!

Can't get enough of great giveaways?! Well then, be sure to stop in starting tomorrow because Bloomin' Babies is featuring a giveaway hosted by the extremely cute Etsy Shop, Mimi's Babies - head on over & check out their shop!

Here's a peak at of some of their adorable baby/child gifts & items:

{All Photos Shown Courtesy of Mimi's Babies on Etsy}

And stop back by Bloomin' Babies tomorrow to find out what Mimi's Babies is generously giving away to two - yes TWO - lucky readers!! Good luck!

Getting Back in The Swing of Things

Photo Credit
This week has been pretty slow. Now that I am in limbo I need to get back into the groove of eating a low to zero carb diet for my PCOS and knocking out the sugar again. I did a 30 day challenge in January where I didn't eat any grains, legumes, dairy or sugar and only ate lean meats, veggies and fruit. It was difficult at first but after losing 6 lbs in the month with little to no exercise it reiterated to me that my body needs to have no sugar and carbs to keep it slim and happy. I was excited to see that my Thyroid levels were right at 1. I just read an interesting blog post about a RE in Florida that has been putting his patients with PCOS and other Endocrine issues on a low carb diet and he has found that most no longer need to do IVF to get and stay pregnant.
Here is the link to the YouTube video of the interview with the Dr.

I would love to have my PCOS and Thyroid in check with as little medicine as possible as I hate taking pills every day of my life!! I wonder if that helps with sperm shape, since I cook in the house and grocery shop Mr. Explorer Bud will be eating healthier as well so we will see how those little spermies react. I think I will have him do another SA after 3 months and see how it compares the the first one from last year. Who knows maybe all our problems will be solved with our diet changes, a little sarcastic there but it couldn't hurt to eat healthy now could it?

The ahhhmazing Bellaband and other updates

Baby Buttercup Bud and I have surpassed the 6 week mark, wahoo!

My pants have been getting tighter at night due to bloat so I have taken to unbuttoning them and walking around my house constantly pulling up my pants, cool huh? I bought a Bellaband last weekend but haven't tried it until today. It is silly but I was afraid of looking silly with my Bellaband on when I am only just past 6 weeks. Psh, bloated pregnant lady doesn't care anymore, this thing rocks! My pants feel great and snug but not too snug, just perfect.

Aside from the bloat, Baby Buttercup Bud has given me some serious nausea! I have taken to throwing up in the morning after brushing my teeth, yum. I have Preggie Pops, which are so sour and sometimes the last thing I want when my mouth is watering in anticipation of the impending throw up, is something sour. I also have some Morning Wellness tea, which sometimes helps for a little while. I usually feel pretty crappy a lot of the time though.

I also have aversions to most foods. I need to talk myself into eating, but once I think of something that sounds good, I NEED it. Mr. Buttercup Bud has brought me KFC Mac and Cheese, a special salad from this once place I love, Vernors, toast and I forgot what else. Mr. Buttercup Bud has been great!

The older Buttercup Bud kids have taken to referring to the baby as a he, especially Buttercup Boy. He really wants a brother! Buttercup girl says good morning and good night to the baby every day. They are really sweet, Mr. Buttercup Bud and I are blessed.

More updates at 7 weeks!

Best,

Buttercup Bud

We hired a doula!

I'm determined for a different (read: better) birthing experience this time around. My labor/delivery with Little Sunflower Bud was less than desirable. I was induced (failed Cervadil induction twice) and dialed up to the highest dosage the hospital would allow of Pitocin, had my epidural by 3cm and didn't start pushing until after 18 hours of being hooked up to Pitocin. After 2 hours of pushing, she got stuck and wouldn't budge. Her heartrate slowed and my blood pressure rose, so off to an emergency c-section we went! Recovery was pretty bad.

After watching my best friend get out of bed easily 6 hours after giving birth, I've been bound and determined for a vaginal birth this time. My doctor says I'm an excellent candidate for a VBAC and so that is my goal.

I've done a lot of research and reading and made a lot of decisions. The first was finding and hiring a doula. Amy is amazing. We clicked immediately and I feel completely comfortable with her. She is very much on board with everything that I'm looking to get out of this experience and very much willing to do whatever she can to get us there.

We'll meet a few times before my due date and then she'll also be there for the entire duration of labor and delivery and 2-3 hours afterward to help with latch and breastfeeding.

Our plan so far is to do as much laboring at home as possible. Since we have a large garden tub, we'll be able to use that for a lot of the labor. I don't want a home birth so when it gets close or too much to take at home, we'll move on to the hospital (thankfully, it's only 10 minutes away). I really want to avoid Pitocin and an epidural, if at all possible, since they have been shown to sometimes stall labor. We'll be using a birthing ball and a number of positions to make sure baby is moving into the position that we need him in. Another reason to avoid the epidural as long as possible, so that I'm free to move around.

She was thrilled with the specific chiropractor that I've been seeing and said she is definitely one of the best in the area for helping with pregnancy. Dr. K will start to work with me towards the end to do things to help open and loosen up my pelvis.

I'm very excited about everything. While I know that I'm not guaranteed the outcome that I want, I like knowing that I'm doing everything I possibly can to get there.

~Sunflower Bud~

Keeping Hope

So I know I said I wanted to wait and I thought about temping... but I realized I should of started temping already. But I will wait till next month to do it... and as far as trying or not... I don't want to think about it. I am not going to try, but I ain't gonna do anything to not get pregnant either. If it happens it happens. As I went into this by putting it in God's hands and for me that is where it needs to stay.

And to top it off this week has been full of headaches as well as last week. I don't remember having this many headaches, but maybe it's because I was flushing a lot of blood (sorry if TMI), but since I didn't have it for so long it had a lot to get rid of. On top of that I craved red meat so bad... which I was told because I needed iron.

Well, today was much better :) no headache woohoo... because I was getting tired of taking tylenol. So for the rest of this month I ain't gonna think about doing BBT or TTC... and just wait to see if my cycle starts again next month. Of course I want it to so I can see if it's gonna keep coming, but there is still the slight part of me that says if I don't get it please please let it be because I am pregnant :)

I can't help but hope... if I lose hope I have nothing.

On a side note I got a jar of baby dust :) that I shake at night before I go to bed :)

Whoopsie! CSN Stores Giveaway Winner!!

Sorry guys!!! It totally slipped my mind to post the winner of the CSN Stores Giveaway. I definitely drew the number of the winner & intended to post it, but something came up on Monday morning & I never got around to it! But I'm here now & ready to announce our very lucky winner:

Without further adieu, the winner of the $35 CSN Stores gift certificate is...
 

Lucky #11

shala_darkstone, who said...

Hi, I follow you via Google Friend Connect.

Congrats Shala!! Thanks so much for reading our stories & for following Bloomin' Babies!! I'm sending you an email & you will have 48 hours to respond to me or I will have to select another winner. Enjoy your prize!!

We hope everyone enjoyed this great giveaway & hope to bring our readers regular reviews & giveaways more often...so if you didn't win this time, keep an eye out for our next giveaway! Thanks SO much again to all of our followers for showing your support for all of the Buds!

IVF, here we come!

It is offical; Mr. Plannerbud and I are moving onto IVF. We met with our RE earlier today and he thinks this is the best thing for us. Since we are textbook "normal" and I am still young (27), he says we have about a 50/50 chance of getting pregnant with our first few cycles. I know that he probably says that to a lot of people, but I trust that if the chances were slim, he would be telling us so.

Mr. Plannerbud and I are very excited and cannot wait to begin this journey. I do have say though I am a little nervous about all the injections, especially when I have to do two in one day! Hopefully I don't really mess up mixing or setting the correct dosage. My major fear though is that I will have to my trigger shot mid-school day. How will I dress that with my students? "Hold on class, Mrs. P needs to run to bathroom to inject herself with some drugs. Please read silently." Yeah that would go over big.

Now we really just have to wait for this month to pass. I have given up temping. I haven't remembered to do it in like three days and I don't think it is super important for where we are right now. Hopefully I will at least remember to use my OPKs starting tomorrow, so at least we would have some chance this month. It is going to be a crazy few months.

I Cannot belive it....

So this past Friday Mr. DB & I closed on our first house and began moving in! Needless to say all Friday, Saturday & most of Sunday was spent cleaning, painting, moving & unpacking. Since my mind was completely consumed with the new house I had little time to realize that the 2WW was over. It finally hit me Sunday night that I could test. I of course immediately ran over to the nearest drug store & bought the early response. When I got home I took the test and there is was a faint line. I didn't believe it, so I took another and the same result. I took them in to Mr. DB and asked him if I was seeing things. He smiled and told me I was pregnant. I still couldn't believe what I was seeing! Monday morning I got up bright and early to have my blood drawn to verify. On the way home I decided to get a digital to make sure. Of course the digital screen popped up with Pregnant!I called yesterday morning to get the results of my first beta & it was 58. They told me to get another blood test done this morning to make sure everything was going right. So this morning I took my 2nd beta & I am anxiously waiting to see if I am doubling!
I can't describe how excited and happy I am to know there is/might be our little miracle growing inside me.

So far my symptoms have included being ridiculously tired all the time (i sleep like 10 hours a night & still need an afternoon nap), my breasts are very sore, I feel super bloated (a little constipated, sorry I know TMI), and I have had a little morning sickness but not too bad.


If all goes well with my 2nd beta results I will be able to break the news to my mother at Disneyland!!!! Which will truly make her vacation!

Beta's in!

It's been quite a week since my BFP.  For one thing, I had blood drawn 5 times in 2 weeks (4 in 1 week!)  (And we all know how much I love needles!)  I work 45 minutes away from where I live, and therefore from where all my doctors and labs are.  This caused some problems last week, when I had to get blood drawn 3 times, and have an appointment.  I felt like I was never at school!  It threw off my whole week, and I ended up having a bit of a meltdown on Thursday.  The kids and the hormones were making me crazy, and I had to have a little cry fest before I went back. 

In other news, I have my betas, and they're looking good! 

DPO	Beta	Doubling time from previous test
15	108	(none)
17	179	65.85 hrs
18	259	45.03 hrs
20	659	35.63 hrs

 I was a little worried, because they were low, and slow to double at first, but they've sped up, so that's good.  I have my 1st ultrasound next Thursday at 6w6d, so we'll see if we see a heat beat.  If we do, we are planning on telling our parents and siblings that weekend.  We're still going back and forth on whether or not to tell anyone else yet.  (You know, other than the 6 I've already told - but they all knew about our troubles trying to conceive.) 

Wish us luck at the ultrasound.  Hopefully I won't go crazy before then, and will get good news. 

AF Whirlwind & Home Birth

So AF arrived on Saturday afternoon brining along with her some cramping, bloating and general blahness for the first day. Sunday was a breeze and then she has packed up and left today. Usually AF stays for at about 4-5 days with very limited discomfort so I was thinking she would be hanging around much longer. I guess there wasn't much to shed with this cycle.

On other baby news I got to assist at my friend/neighbor's home birth on Saturday evening. Her doula and midwife were not there yet so Mr. Explorer Bud and I came over to help set up everything and help my friend through contractions till the experienced ones arrived. It was fun to watch the whole process and see what a awesome job she did in having her baby. She had a water birth and it was amazing how nice it was for her and the baby. Everyone was so calm and relaxing and it was really a wonderful moment. It made me really excited to have a baby some day!!