The story I'm not ready to tell

I'm sorry guys, I really want to finish my birth story for you.  There was so much crazy, and with 20-20 hindsight, too many regrets.  I wrote some more of it down on paper, but when I get close to the actual events, the fetal fibronectin test, my hospital stay, the late decels, the low heart rates where we thought we were going to lose him, the semi-emergent cesarean, the 3 weeks in the NICU - it just gets to be too much.

Last week I went to the doctor, finally.  After talking for a little while, she diagnosed my with PPD and PTSD.  She gave me recommendations of therapists, but right now no one I've called is accepting new patients.  I hope to come back and tell this story one day.  I feel like I need to.  But right now it just triggers too much anxiety.  I hope you understand.  I wish you all the best.
Teacher Bud.