Confusion, concern and jealousy

This was the result of my OPK on Friday:

The confusion and concern:

Yeah, that's as dark as it got. You can't tell from the pic, but the test line is darker at the far end (if that makes sense). I was so hoping for a definitive 2 lines but I don't know if pregnancy is still a possibility. I had some nice egg-white CF for a couple of days though. We BD'd about every other day for a week. My hope for a baby will probably still have me checking a HPT next week when AF is expected to arrive.



The jealousy?

Well, the BF brought the new baby to work last week. Yeah that was hard. Baby Girl was so sweet and cuddly and had that endearing new-baby smell. Then she was cranky and hungry and pooped a glorious shade of yellow all over herself. MAN...I know it's not a "pie job," but I have never been so ready for a "job" change. And hearing all of the pregnancy likes and dislikes from the new soon-to-be member of mommyhood doesn't help either. If the preggers bug doesn't bite me this month, I believe I will start checking BBT like Diva. That, with the OPK helped her...hopefully it will me too.

Frustration Sets In.....Need Some Opinions

Ughh I'm so frustrated right now! Getting pregnant in the past has been so effortless. Ever since I started temping it seems this whole process has me super stressed!

• Wednesday: 7 days since AF was visiting. Watery cervical mucus. WooHoo....eggy will be dropping soon (I can always tell b/c of this)!!
  

• Thursday: 7 days since AF was visiting. Watery cervical mucus. Positive OPK. WHooHoo....in 24-36 hours I should expect to ovulate! Did the BD.
  

• Friday: Sore boobies. Positive OPK (even more distinct test line). Did the BD.
  

• Saturday: Sore boobies. Negative OPK (just for the hell of it) No BD....Mr.Bud fell asleep early.
  

• Sunday: Sore boobies.

HOWEVER, according to my FF BBT Chart, it says I ovulated on Wednesday. WTF?!!! That's only 7 days past the first day of AF! I don't know which I should believe. Temps or my OPK's. AND why in the hell do my boobs hurt?! They have never hurt before or after ovulation. They usually ONLY hurt about a week before AF arrives. And she arrived just a little over a week ago.
Here is my chart:

The past 2 days on my chart are the empty circles which means they could be wrong. I tested twice each time double checking my numbers but they pretty much stayed the same.....so I know they weren't wrong!

CAN ANYONE HELP ME MAKE SENSE OF THIS?!!

And on CD14...

Ok, so I have been taking the OPKs since CD6. Every day has been blatanly negative. Last night I said something to Mr. CB about possibly not ovulating this month either because I haven't noticed any changes in my CF - dry as a bone. Ironically, this morning I was surprised with this:

Sorry the pic is so blurry. Maybe I was too excited to hold the camera still. We have been FWPing every other day so far. It looks like it's time to step things up a little though, huh?

I babysat for the BF this past weekend. I swear, if I can be so blessed I promise to try my hardest to not fuss and complain about the lack of sleep, the poopy diapers, the sore boobs or the post-partem bleeding. I promise that I will remind myself everyday how lucky I am to overcome such adversity while never forgetting and always remembering the babies I've lost.

Amen.

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I would like to send a formal "WELCOME!" to Buckeye Bud. I'm sorry I haven't done this earlier but my poor old laptop struggles sometimes. Anyway, as I'm sure you are quite aware, this is an exceptional group of women. I have learned a tremendous amount since joining this blog and find immeasurable comfort in knowing that I am not alone in these struggles. I hope that Bloomin Babies is as therapeutic for you as it has been for me. And I wish you all the luck in the world in having a baby of your own!

Trying something new

I finally went ahead and purchased a box of OPKs. The box brought about 7, I believe, in a generic, drug store, brand. I already took one, and got the following result:




Hence, I will NOT be ovulating within the next 24 - 48 hours. :-/

When I was done, and I wiped, I noticed what seemed to be some slight spotting. Similar to how my last spotting spree from the week of October 8th began. Maybe I'll have more answers tomorrow... At least I HOPE I will...

I hate waiting. I am one of the most impatient people alive. And all of this IF mumbo-jumbo is making me really antsy :( why can't I just be normal?! But, then again... What is normal, nowadays? :-/




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