Sorry for the delay in writing recently, I just haven't been feeling it. Nothing to report on.....ever. Same song and dance with me feeling sorry for myself. It get's so old. I just want to be happy again. I'm tired of thinking about TTC. I would love to go to the doc and get back on my anti-dep's but if I'm TTC that's a no-no. Sigh....
My CBEFM didn't really help me out and my FF is confused as hell. I got a "Peak" reading on the CD 12 and 13. My understanding was that I was supposed to do the BD on those days and the days prior to the Peak reading. I still dint know if this is right, but according to FF I didn't OV until CD15 (and that's after dismissing 2 readings b/c i took them at 10am rather than 6am) Needless to say, it didn't work.
I've also noticed, that my body isn't waiting the full 15 days for AF to arrive (if I'm OV'ing when I think I did). It's always 12-13 day leutal phase. I have tons of the Progesterone beads my RE gave me, but I really dread those things. Has anyone ever tried the Progesterone cream they sell at CVS or Walgreens. That seems much simpler. I know that if your leutal phase doesn't last long enough it's considered a defect. Which really wouldn't surprise me......I'm jacked up in so many other ways as it is. Does anyone have this??
I am still on 1500mg's on my Glumetza (Metformin). I took 2 before bed time last night and I haven't been sick this morning. So, as long as I eat a meal tonight for dinner I will take a total of 4 today. On a better note, I feel as if this stuff is finally starting to work on my hormones. My face is clearing up wonderfully and I can I only have 1 pimple!!!! This is so effing exciting since there hasn't been a day in the past 11 months where I have had less than 10! Unfortunately, my face has been left with SO many scars. I wear a pound of makeup to cover, but knowing my skin is destroyed makes me sad. Anyone have any suggestions on treatments for this that wont add any extra oil to my face??
Anyways, today is my CD 5 so I will begin my CBEFM again 2morrow. I'm skipping the Femara this month just b/c. Please pray for me that I am given a gift this month.
-Buckeye Bud
Showing posts with label Recurrent Pregnancy Loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Recurrent Pregnancy Loss. Show all posts
April 2, 2012
March 13, 2012
I Love You Snooki. I Hate You Snooki. I Love You Snooki.
Sorry I havn't posted in a while. I've just been really down lately. There are so many lucky women announcing their pregnancies that it just makes me feel so hopeless. I'm pretty sure I counted 13 women on my FB in the past three months makes their announcements. EVEN FRIGGIN SNOOKI IS KNOCKED UP (for the record, I effing love her)! It's bittersweet. I can't imagine living a life where this wasn't on my mind 24/7.
Don't get me wrong, I am SO happy that these women can experience this joy. But I sometimes imagine what my life would be like if I knew for sure this was never going to happen for me. And to be honest, it really does mess with your will to live. I'm a woman and it's my job to make and raise babies and the thought that this may never happen kills my spirit. But I won't give up....the hope is all I have to hold onto. On paper, it seems I have so many things worked out. My 4 pregnancy losses have been explained (so they say). But then in the back of my mind those aren't concrete answers so I'm left thinking.....what if these reasons weren't what caused them like they think.
My PCOS being discovered gave me hope for a minute. But then it faded because I study my Fertility Friend Chart probably 10X a day. It was my understanding that with PCOS a lot of women don't ovulate. Which is why I thought I wasn't getting KU. But According to my OPK's and several of my charts I do show that I ovulated (temp spike). That then leads me to think that maybe my hormones are saying I ovulated but the egg was never actually released. Then I start thinking, "well maybe it's Mr. BB!" Or maybe it's my CM. Maybe the consistency is off! AHhh what a mess I have going on inside my own mind. I need out.....but a break is not even an option in my world.
So that's where I'm at emotionally. Physically, I'm doing so so. I am currently on my 4th week of Glumetza (Metformin). I am at 1500mg each day and I'm not sure when I will be able to add in another 500mg. Week 1 was fine with 500mg. Then on week 2 I started at 1000mg. That's when I started to get insanely nauseous and my appetite dimished. I got brave 10 days later and started the 1500mg. I still feel nauseous but not as badly as before. I've noticed that about an hour after I eat (no matter what I eat) I feel SO hungry again. WTF?! I thought this was supposed to help me lose weight?! Nothing at all sounds good to eat but then I'm starved at the same time. This is bullshit if ya ask me. I'm hoping it's just a temporary side effect and will go away once I hit 2000mg's a day. We'll see.
Here are some of my other updates:
CD 3-7 I took my fertility med Femara (alternate to Clomid) each day for these 5 days.
CD 8-9 ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor stated Low Fertility.
CD 10- ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor stated High Fertility. Increase in CM. Did the BD.
CD 11- ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor stated High Fertility. Increased CM. Positive OPK.
I feel well equipped.....so beat it AF.....I don't wanna see your ugly mug anymore for a while! However, if that bish does decide to come this month, I have plans to get some PreSeed Sperm Friendly Lubricant. I get SO burnt out on the BD by day2 that my poor vajay get's tired! (LOL...sorry TMI). Maybe then Mr.BB's little swimmers will be more apt to hang around for a longer period of time up there. THEN, in 2 months, if that doesn't work, Mr. BB has to throw in the towel, swallow his pride, and go get tested himself. In the meantime, I will continue to take my synthetic folic acid, 81mg of Asprin, Glumetza, and my NeevoDHA prenatal.
So that's where I'm at and that's our plan Stan. I'll keep everyone updated on this CBEFM and if it matches up with my FF chart.
Don't get me wrong, I am SO happy that these women can experience this joy. But I sometimes imagine what my life would be like if I knew for sure this was never going to happen for me. And to be honest, it really does mess with your will to live. I'm a woman and it's my job to make and raise babies and the thought that this may never happen kills my spirit. But I won't give up....the hope is all I have to hold onto. On paper, it seems I have so many things worked out. My 4 pregnancy losses have been explained (so they say). But then in the back of my mind those aren't concrete answers so I'm left thinking.....what if these reasons weren't what caused them like they think.
My PCOS being discovered gave me hope for a minute. But then it faded because I study my Fertility Friend Chart probably 10X a day. It was my understanding that with PCOS a lot of women don't ovulate. Which is why I thought I wasn't getting KU. But According to my OPK's and several of my charts I do show that I ovulated (temp spike). That then leads me to think that maybe my hormones are saying I ovulated but the egg was never actually released. Then I start thinking, "well maybe it's Mr. BB!" Or maybe it's my CM. Maybe the consistency is off! AHhh what a mess I have going on inside my own mind. I need out.....but a break is not even an option in my world.
So that's where I'm at emotionally. Physically, I'm doing so so. I am currently on my 4th week of Glumetza (Metformin). I am at 1500mg each day and I'm not sure when I will be able to add in another 500mg. Week 1 was fine with 500mg. Then on week 2 I started at 1000mg. That's when I started to get insanely nauseous and my appetite dimished. I got brave 10 days later and started the 1500mg. I still feel nauseous but not as badly as before. I've noticed that about an hour after I eat (no matter what I eat) I feel SO hungry again. WTF?! I thought this was supposed to help me lose weight?! Nothing at all sounds good to eat but then I'm starved at the same time. This is bullshit if ya ask me. I'm hoping it's just a temporary side effect and will go away once I hit 2000mg's a day. We'll see.
Here are some of my other updates:
CD 3-7 I took my fertility med Femara (alternate to Clomid) each day for these 5 days.
CD 8-9 ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor stated Low Fertility.
CD 10- ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor stated High Fertility. Increase in CM. Did the BD.
CD 11- ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor stated High Fertility. Increased CM. Positive OPK.
I feel well equipped.....so beat it AF.....I don't wanna see your ugly mug anymore for a while! However, if that bish does decide to come this month, I have plans to get some PreSeed Sperm Friendly Lubricant. I get SO burnt out on the BD by day2 that my poor vajay get's tired! (LOL...sorry TMI). Maybe then Mr.BB's little swimmers will be more apt to hang around for a longer period of time up there. THEN, in 2 months, if that doesn't work, Mr. BB has to throw in the towel, swallow his pride, and go get tested himself. In the meantime, I will continue to take my synthetic folic acid, 81mg of Asprin, Glumetza, and my NeevoDHA prenatal.
So that's where I'm at and that's our plan Stan. I'll keep everyone updated on this CBEFM and if it matches up with my FF chart.
February 21, 2012
Long Awaited Answers
I'm not sure I had ever been more excited to go to the doctor than I was today. Hold on, I take that back. Baby 1's 1st ultrasound was the most exciting moment of my life until I found out I had miscarried. But any who, I went to the endocrinologist today and met one of the most amazing doctors I have ever had the privilege of directly dealing with. After going over my recent blood work and all of my symptoms (which includes severe facial acne, facial hair (blonde, thank GOD), oily skin, irregular cycles, high testosterone levels, and infertility) she was able to diagnose me with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome)!!!
It might sound crazy but I could not be more excited to finally have someone confirm with me that there IS something wrong with me hormonally. In June of last year I had a dermatologist tell me that my acne was due to hormones. In August I had an acupuncturist tell me many of my symptoms were hormonal (excessive sweating and body heat) I wasn't sure how to approach my RE about this so it kind of just sat in the back of my mind. I certainly wasn't as educated about the reproductive system as I am now, otherwise I would of spoken up about it.
So, rather than Metformin, which is what most women seem to be treated with, my Endo chose to put me on the brand name GLUMETZA. Unlike immediate-release metformin, GLUMETZA is released slowly and steadily over several hours. This delay in the release of the medicine may result in fewer stomach-related side effects, such as nausea, in the 1st week of taking the medication. She wants to get me up to 2000mg a day, so here is my future dosing schedule:
She also advised she would like me to reduce my carbohydrate intake to less than 120g daily and my protein up to 60g daily (at least). She says that will boost my weight loss since I'm currently at a standstill after losing 20lbs.
**Also, She said that my initial weight gain is what actually brought the PCOS to the surface. Since I have been off of BC since April 2010, the weight gain triggered it. And even after losing the 20lbs it won't completely go away. It has actually made it worse for some strange reason. It gets worse each and every week.
SO, my other good news involves my 2 MTHFR gene mutations, which my Endo happened to know a lot about. For those who don't know what this is......it's a blood disease that deals with blood clotting and the inability for my body to metabolize Folic acid. She explained that the Folic acid that I currently have a prescription for (1mg 2x daily) is considered synthetic Folic acid. She wrote me a prescription for NEEVO DHA. This is a prenatal that also contains L-Methlyfolate, nature’s active form of folate as found in leafy green foods. L-methylfolate is superior to synthetic folic acid. Several months ago one of the BB Blog readers commented on my post about this so it has always been in my mind. And to my surprise today my Endo mentioned this so I became pretty excited. This will be taken in place of my existing Pre-Natal 1x daily. On a side note, she did tell me that these mutations were most likely the cause of my 3 miscarriages (not the 1 tubal though). No one has yet to tell me that (not even my RE) so it was such an amazing feeling to hear that news. Nearly 2 years I have been waiting to hear that.
If you also unfortunate enough to have 2 mutuations of the MTHFR gene and would like additional information, here is the brands website:
http://www.neevodha.com/
Well, that is all I have for now, I will be very surprised if many make it through reading this entire posting. If you do, I much appreciate it :) So I end this cold rainy day with hope in my heart. Sad songs didn't sound so sad today, and my optimism is at the highest it has been in a very very long time. Please keep me in your prayers that I will soon get my baby back. I know he is up there waiting for me to bring him back down :) Let's hope the 5th time's a charm!!
It might sound crazy but I could not be more excited to finally have someone confirm with me that there IS something wrong with me hormonally. In June of last year I had a dermatologist tell me that my acne was due to hormones. In August I had an acupuncturist tell me many of my symptoms were hormonal (excessive sweating and body heat) I wasn't sure how to approach my RE about this so it kind of just sat in the back of my mind. I certainly wasn't as educated about the reproductive system as I am now, otherwise I would of spoken up about it.
So, rather than Metformin, which is what most women seem to be treated with, my Endo chose to put me on the brand name GLUMETZA. Unlike immediate-release metformin, GLUMETZA is released slowly and steadily over several hours. This delay in the release of the medicine may result in fewer stomach-related side effects, such as nausea, in the 1st week of taking the medication. She wants to get me up to 2000mg a day, so here is my future dosing schedule:
Week 1: 500mg 1x day
Week 2: 1000 mg 1x day
Week 3: 1500 mg 1x day
Week 4: 2000 mg 1x day
Week 2: 1000 mg 1x day
Week 3: 1500 mg 1x day
Week 4: 2000 mg 1x day
She also advised she would like me to reduce my carbohydrate intake to less than 120g daily and my protein up to 60g daily (at least). She says that will boost my weight loss since I'm currently at a standstill after losing 20lbs.
**Also, She said that my initial weight gain is what actually brought the PCOS to the surface. Since I have been off of BC since April 2010, the weight gain triggered it. And even after losing the 20lbs it won't completely go away. It has actually made it worse for some strange reason. It gets worse each and every week.
SO, my other good news involves my 2 MTHFR gene mutations, which my Endo happened to know a lot about. For those who don't know what this is......it's a blood disease that deals with blood clotting and the inability for my body to metabolize Folic acid. She explained that the Folic acid that I currently have a prescription for (1mg 2x daily) is considered synthetic Folic acid. She wrote me a prescription for NEEVO DHA. This is a prenatal that also contains L-Methlyfolate, nature’s active form of folate as found in leafy green foods. L-methylfolate is superior to synthetic folic acid. Several months ago one of the BB Blog readers commented on my post about this so it has always been in my mind. And to my surprise today my Endo mentioned this so I became pretty excited. This will be taken in place of my existing Pre-Natal 1x daily. On a side note, she did tell me that these mutations were most likely the cause of my 3 miscarriages (not the 1 tubal though). No one has yet to tell me that (not even my RE) so it was such an amazing feeling to hear that news. Nearly 2 years I have been waiting to hear that.
If you also unfortunate enough to have 2 mutuations of the MTHFR gene and would like additional information, here is the brands website:
http://www.neevodha.com/
Well, that is all I have for now, I will be very surprised if many make it through reading this entire posting. If you do, I much appreciate it :) So I end this cold rainy day with hope in my heart. Sad songs didn't sound so sad today, and my optimism is at the highest it has been in a very very long time. Please keep me in your prayers that I will soon get my baby back. I know he is up there waiting for me to bring him back down :) Let's hope the 5th time's a charm!!
February 18, 2012
No News Is.......Well......No News
I feel as if I havn't blogged in a while so here I am. Nothing too much to report though. I did get my appointment set up with the endocrinologist. They sent me my paper work and set up an appointment for April. Wait.....April? Yeah, pretty stinking ridiculous. I ended up calling them couple days later so I could be added to a cancellation list. It worked because I got a phone call yesterday saying they could see me this upcoming Tuesday. I'm sooooooo excited! I feel like this might actually give me some of the answers I've been looking for for so long. This journey began in September 2010 and it feels like 10 years ago. After 3 miscarriages, 1 ectopic pregnancy, and now infertility, I am so ready finally get my baby.
I know this might sound crazy, but I am praying for a PCOS diagnosis. I have almost ALL of the symptoms so I hope the blood work I get will show my hormones just aren't right. My testosterone was high about a month ago so I hope it hasn't gone back done, otherwise I'm afraid they wont give me any med's.
I got a positive OPK tonight. I figure we will do the BD for the next 3 days just in case. I hasn't worked the past 4 months so it's a long shot that it would work this month. I havn't started using my CBEFM yet. I wanna wait until my hormones are perfect before I use those expensive test strips!
Here is my current chart. I have FF so confused. Check out how many fertile days it has me set at! My cycles are so jacked right now!
Well, that is all for now. I will post again this week after I see my Endo. Cross your fingers for me! Oh, and a HUGE shout-out to Diva Bud for her AMAZING news! Congrats girl.....you deserve it!
I know this might sound crazy, but I am praying for a PCOS diagnosis. I have almost ALL of the symptoms so I hope the blood work I get will show my hormones just aren't right. My testosterone was high about a month ago so I hope it hasn't gone back done, otherwise I'm afraid they wont give me any med's.
I got a positive OPK tonight. I figure we will do the BD for the next 3 days just in case. I hasn't worked the past 4 months so it's a long shot that it would work this month. I havn't started using my CBEFM yet. I wanna wait until my hormones are perfect before I use those expensive test strips!
Here is my current chart. I have FF so confused. Check out how many fertile days it has me set at! My cycles are so jacked right now!
November 28, 2010
Getting Better
Hello, everyone. Just wanted to check in to let you all know I'm still alive.
Wow, what a depressing month it has been. But I have to admit, I am feeling better. Its probably been about a week since I have cried and I've been feeling a lot more like myself.
However, I have made the decision to go back on my antidepressants. I have been off of them for almost 2 years now because I was TTC. But right now, I need to jump back on that bandwagon. I am not myself and I am a little scared of the path I have been taking. I know the patterns and what they lead to, and it needs to be dealt with sooner rather than later.
FYI - TTC on happy pills is a no no. This is fine with me. I need some time to repair and recover both physically and emotionally. I have toyed around with getting back on BCP, but I just can't bring myself to do that yet.
Right now I'm going to focus on my diet, my emotional health and my marriage. No more obsessing about babies, miscarriages and peeing on sticks. A welcomed break.
I wanted to give a huge heart-felt thank you to all the Buds and readers here at Bloomin' Babies. The kindness and compassion you have shown to me has really touched my heart and has made me get through one of the most horrible times of my life. To the other Buds that are going through what I am, I hope you find comfort soon.
And to my dearest, darling Sunflower Bud - I am so, so happy and excited for you and wish you the happiest and healthiest 9 months anyone could have. God knows you deserve this.
Wow, what a depressing month it has been. But I have to admit, I am feeling better. Its probably been about a week since I have cried and I've been feeling a lot more like myself.
However, I have made the decision to go back on my antidepressants. I have been off of them for almost 2 years now because I was TTC. But right now, I need to jump back on that bandwagon. I am not myself and I am a little scared of the path I have been taking. I know the patterns and what they lead to, and it needs to be dealt with sooner rather than later.
FYI - TTC on happy pills is a no no. This is fine with me. I need some time to repair and recover both physically and emotionally. I have toyed around with getting back on BCP, but I just can't bring myself to do that yet.
Right now I'm going to focus on my diet, my emotional health and my marriage. No more obsessing about babies, miscarriages and peeing on sticks. A welcomed break.
I wanted to give a huge heart-felt thank you to all the Buds and readers here at Bloomin' Babies. The kindness and compassion you have shown to me has really touched my heart and has made me get through one of the most horrible times of my life. To the other Buds that are going through what I am, I hope you find comfort soon.
And to my dearest, darling Sunflower Bud - I am so, so happy and excited for you and wish you the happiest and healthiest 9 months anyone could have. God knows you deserve this.
October 31, 2010
I Hate Facebook
How is it that every time I miscarry, as soon as I sign onto Facebook a friend of mine has updated their profile picture with a sonogram picture and everyone is all OMG! Congrats! Are you pregnant? Is it a boy or a girl? When are you due? I've had enough.
I'll admit, I'm bitter right now. In the past I have half-heartily written my own congrats on my friend's Facebook wall, but this time I just cannot do it. Come to think of it, in the past I have done a lot. I have shopped for maternity clothes with friends, bought baby outfits, planned baby showers and marked on my calendar when they were finding out the sex because I thought that I just had to get over it and stop being so selfish. Now? I just cannot do it anymore.
Please don't misunderstand - I am very happy for my friends, but right now the wound is too fresh and I just cannot fake it anymore. To say I'm exhausted is an understatement. What it comes down to is this: In the past two years I have been pregnant a total of 4 times. And all I have to show for it is an extra 30 lbs, saggy bubbies and more heartbreak than anyone can imagine. I'm starting to lose faith, and I'm scared that I will never be able to carry a baby to term.
Mr. SB and I have an appointment next Monday (our anniversary! what a way to spend it.) with a high risk pregnancy specialist. We are going to see what they have to say. Our old doctor, whom I still adore, has done all that he can for us. He did his job. He got us pregnant. Now we need to move on to someone who can keep me pregnant.
We have decided that if our new doctor wants us just to try again without a new plan of action, we will move onto the next. I think it is silly to keep trying the same thing and expect different results (also the definition of insanity, I believe).
But right now I choose to be bitter. I choose to hate all things baby on Facebook and I choose to cry in front of others. I have always been perceived as being strong, unemotional and on occasions, have been accused of not having tear ducts. I realize now I cannot keep up this act anymore. I need to start being real.
I'll admit, I'm bitter right now. In the past I have half-heartily written my own congrats on my friend's Facebook wall, but this time I just cannot do it. Come to think of it, in the past I have done a lot. I have shopped for maternity clothes with friends, bought baby outfits, planned baby showers and marked on my calendar when they were finding out the sex because I thought that I just had to get over it and stop being so selfish. Now? I just cannot do it anymore.
Please don't misunderstand - I am very happy for my friends, but right now the wound is too fresh and I just cannot fake it anymore. To say I'm exhausted is an understatement. What it comes down to is this: In the past two years I have been pregnant a total of 4 times. And all I have to show for it is an extra 30 lbs, saggy bubbies and more heartbreak than anyone can imagine. I'm starting to lose faith, and I'm scared that I will never be able to carry a baby to term.
Mr. SB and I have an appointment next Monday (our anniversary! what a way to spend it.) with a high risk pregnancy specialist. We are going to see what they have to say. Our old doctor, whom I still adore, has done all that he can for us. He did his job. He got us pregnant. Now we need to move on to someone who can keep me pregnant.
We have decided that if our new doctor wants us just to try again without a new plan of action, we will move onto the next. I think it is silly to keep trying the same thing and expect different results (also the definition of insanity, I believe).
But right now I choose to be bitter. I choose to hate all things baby on Facebook and I choose to cry in front of others. I have always been perceived as being strong, unemotional and on occasions, have been accused of not having tear ducts. I realize now I cannot keep up this act anymore. I need to start being real.
October 26, 2010
#4
Well, the Betas are in and they are shit. I knew this was going to happen when I started spotting yesterday. Even though it was brown spotting, I knew what was coming. I've gone through it 3 times prior - I'm pretty much an expert!
So welcome miscarriage #4. You would think that I would be thrown a bone. At least one of these pregnancies should have been viable, right? Apparently not.
It is just so unfair. What a crock of shit it is that a financially stable, responsible, very much in-love couple cannot have a child. And I am just not saying this for me - I'm saying it for all of us that have been through or are going through this.
The thing that really gets me is that my body is perfect. Yes, I could afford to lose a few pounds, but that's about it. They have not been able to find a single thing that is medically wrong with me. I have had every test know to man done on me, and am surprised that I haven't been mistaken for a heroin addict, being that I have been a human pincushion for the past two years.
Wow, two years. Two years of trying to conceive only to end up with heartbreak in the end. Happy Anniversary to us.
I have an appointment with the RE next Wednesday. They are talking about shipping me up to The Cleveland Clinic for IVF with genetic testing.
I don't know what else to write. Infertility sucks.
So welcome miscarriage #4. You would think that I would be thrown a bone. At least one of these pregnancies should have been viable, right? Apparently not.
It is just so unfair. What a crock of shit it is that a financially stable, responsible, very much in-love couple cannot have a child. And I am just not saying this for me - I'm saying it for all of us that have been through or are going through this.
The thing that really gets me is that my body is perfect. Yes, I could afford to lose a few pounds, but that's about it. They have not been able to find a single thing that is medically wrong with me. I have had every test know to man done on me, and am surprised that I haven't been mistaken for a heroin addict, being that I have been a human pincushion for the past two years.
Wow, two years. Two years of trying to conceive only to end up with heartbreak in the end. Happy Anniversary to us.
I have an appointment with the RE next Wednesday. They are talking about shipping me up to The Cleveland Clinic for IVF with genetic testing.
I don't know what else to write. Infertility sucks.
July 26, 2010
Where We Go From Here
First of all, I wanted to give a heart-felt thank you to the Bloomin' Babies community. You have all been so supportive, thoughtful and informative. I am so thankful to be part of this little "family."
Mr. SB and I had an appointment with our RE to talk about our next steps. It seems that I have been pretty much tested for everything except for a chromosome defect called Balanced Translocation.
I won't bore you with the details of this again, as it can be found in Blessed Bud's post, a couple below this one.
After emailing with our lovely Dandelion Bud, if the balanced translocation test comes back normal, I think I am going to get a second opinion. It seems like they cannot find anything that is wrong with me. In fact, my RE said it was surprising how normal my tests actually were - not a defect in sight, which is just my luck.
I'm scared to death of my chromosome test coming back positive. That is a whole different shit storm that I am not ready to deal with. The thought of having to go through more miscarriages to "hopefully" have a normal pregnancy literally takes me breath away. The nurse at my RE's office told me that they have never seen this many miscarriages in someone so young, which to be honest with you, made me want to neck punch her.
So right now, we have put actively TTC on hold. This test will take about 5 weeks to come back, and now we are going to try to relax, exercise and start having sex for fun instead of reproduction (even though I know I will not be able to help myself with CBE Smileys because they are just so. freaking. cool)! I will not be going back on birth control, so if it happens, it happens.
Its time for a much needed physical and mental break.
Mr. SB and I had an appointment with our RE to talk about our next steps. It seems that I have been pretty much tested for everything except for a chromosome defect called Balanced Translocation.
I won't bore you with the details of this again, as it can be found in Blessed Bud's post, a couple below this one.
After emailing with our lovely Dandelion Bud, if the balanced translocation test comes back normal, I think I am going to get a second opinion. It seems like they cannot find anything that is wrong with me. In fact, my RE said it was surprising how normal my tests actually were - not a defect in sight, which is just my luck.
I'm scared to death of my chromosome test coming back positive. That is a whole different shit storm that I am not ready to deal with. The thought of having to go through more miscarriages to "hopefully" have a normal pregnancy literally takes me breath away. The nurse at my RE's office told me that they have never seen this many miscarriages in someone so young, which to be honest with you, made me want to neck punch her.
So right now, we have put actively TTC on hold. This test will take about 5 weeks to come back, and now we are going to try to relax, exercise and start having sex for fun instead of reproduction (even though I know I will not be able to help myself with CBE Smileys because they are just so. freaking. cool)! I will not be going back on birth control, so if it happens, it happens.
Its time for a much needed physical and mental break.
January 18, 2010
One week from today
we will know what our future lies ahead... will we be able to TTC naturally? or will we need medical help, IUI, IVF? I really hope this week goes by fairly quickly.
I already had my Varicella Vaccine (chickenpox) on 1/6 and have to wait at least two months before TTC again, the effects of this vaccine on a developing fetus is unknown. In theory, the vaccine could cause birth defects similar to those that can occur from natural chickenpox (for example, limb abnormalities including absence or underdevelopment, abnormal brain development, mental retardation, scarring of the skin, and eye abnormalities). Read more info Here . The wait is fine with us since we have to wait for our RPL results before we start TTC again.
Hope you have a great work week and will keep you posted on our results... I cant believe are finally finished all the testing.
I already had my Varicella Vaccine (chickenpox) on 1/6 and have to wait at least two months before TTC again, the effects of this vaccine on a developing fetus is unknown. In theory, the vaccine could cause birth defects similar to those that can occur from natural chickenpox (for example, limb abnormalities including absence or underdevelopment, abnormal brain development, mental retardation, scarring of the skin, and eye abnormalities). Read more info Here . The wait is fine with us since we have to wait for our RPL results before we start TTC again.
Hope you have a great work week and will keep you posted on our results... I cant believe are finally finished all the testing.
November 23, 2009
A Plan in a bag
Is what I told the nurse when I walked out of my appointment this morning with my welcome kit and all my information after meeting with the RE.
The apt went great, the doctor is extremely knowledgeable, understanding and explained anything and everything and assured me that even after having multiple m/c 's we can have a healthy full term pregnancy.
The doctor did my exam and noticed that I was still spotting so she wanted to run my beta levels again to make sure that they were at 0 before any other blood work.
After leaving the appointment for the first time after this m/c I started to see things different and am anxious to start testing. At first I was kind of scared and just wanted to stop trying, but that is not going to solve whatever problem we might have. I hope we have some answers and are able to start trying in the New year.
So Here is our plan... Hopefully I can keep track
The apt went great, the doctor is extremely knowledgeable, understanding and explained anything and everything and assured me that even after having multiple m/c 's we can have a healthy full term pregnancy.
The doctor did my exam and noticed that I was still spotting so she wanted to run my beta levels again to make sure that they were at 0 before any other blood work.
After leaving the appointment for the first time after this m/c I started to see things different and am anxious to start testing. At first I was kind of scared and just wanted to stop trying, but that is not going to solve whatever problem we might have. I hope we have some answers and are able to start trying in the New year.
So Here is our plan... Hopefully I can keep track
- I need to fast and then draw blood for RPL (Recurrent Pregnancy Loss... I have heard that they take around 32 vials of blood.. Holy Moly!!)
- Mr. Bud Draws blood (genetic testing)
- Wait for AF ( I have never been so anxious for her little butt to show up)
- Day 2-3 after AF - Hormone u/s (Pelvic u/s)
- After AF & Before Ovulation - HSG (X-Ray to evaluate the Uterine cavity, cervical canal, and tubal patency).
- Ovulation - use OPK and once + call doctors to schedule:
- Progesterone blood Test (To determine P4 blood level after ovulation) 7-10 days after + opk
- Endometrial Biopsy (A small piece of the tissue lining of the uterus is removed for evaluation) 11-13 days after +opk
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