I Tested

So I decided I would test this morning and then Saturday and then Monday. This morning's was a lovely "Not Pregnant" so I will do Saturday and Monday and if they are both negative I will stop taking the meds. At least this time in my dreams the test was negative so I didn't have all those hopeful vibes in the morning.

So I am not sure what is the problem but the injection site of my progesterone shot yesterday is now welted up and still really sore. I may have injected a small piece of glass into my bum!! I had broken the top off and didn't realize there was some glass at the bottom of the vial till I had sucked up all the Progesterone. But I checked the syringe and didn't see anything so I figured it was alright. I haven't had a reaction to the injections prior to yesterday so not sure if my body is just irritated or I put some glass in there!! I guess if it doesn't go away in a few days I will call the Dr. and see what he thinks.

"Big" Ultrasound!!!

Hellllloooo 19 weeks!!! I feel like time is dragging by so slowly!! Speed up already, I'm ready to meet this kiddo!

We had our anatomy ultrasound this morning. Baby is still a beautiful boy and healthy as can be!! He was incredibly active, moving all around and rarely stopping. Everything looked absolutely perfect. Heart looked great, brain looked great, spine, kidneys, etc. He's a big boy, already in the 62nd percentile at 11oz. Heartbeat was steady in the 150's.

We loved watching him move around in there. He was constantly touching his face and putting his hands in his mouth. And stretching his super long legs out as straight as he could get them! That's not going to feel very good in a few weeks...

Dr. M said that we should start feeling him on the outside in around 3 weeks. That will be so awesome!

A little concern about the Braxton Hicks I was having yesterday. I was averaging around 4 an hour all day long. They weren't painful, but they weren't very comfortable either. She said it was a little early for that to happen that often so she wants me upping my water intake to make sure I'm as hydrated as possible. If they still continue, I'm to call.

There is also some concern about my pelvis being too narrow for a VBAC so when I go back in 4 weeks, they want to do some exams/tests to measure it. And Dr. M said they will also be monitoring baby boy's head size towards the end of the pregnancy since Little Sunflower Bud's head size was the reason I ended up with an emergency c-section.

For someone who was initially upset when finding out it was a boy 3 weeks ago, I was panicked at the thought that it might be wrong and be a girl after all. I couldn't love this little boy more and I'm so proud of be the mother of a son.

We decided against the bedding we used with Little SB and I instantly fell in love with the Giggling Turtles set from Baby Gap... only to discover it was discontinued!! But a very dear friend from high school found it at a local consignment shop in perfect condition!!!

I'm so excited. My mom is coming up this weekend to paint the nursery. We're going to do green walls and I ordered navy and dark green turtle decals from Etsy.

We ordered our dresser and glider as well and they should both be here by Monday. My mom is taking me shopping this weekend and she's going to buy us a new travel system. Our infant carseat is pink so we need a new one and Mr. Sunflower Bud doesn't love our Jeep stroller as much as I do so he wants a new stroller.

~ Sunflower Bud ~

Pity Party - Table for 1

I was planning on posting today about Mr. TB's urology appointment, but all I can think about is my temp drop today.  I finally got the results of my 7DPO blood work yesterday.  My progesterone was 11.3, which is better that the previous 7.35, but not by enough.  Apparently they want to see +10 for a regular cycle, but +15 for a medicated cycle, which mine was.  The Dr. wasn't in today, but the nurse is going to talk to her and call me today.  I don't think she'll do anything because she said that the 7DPO b/w will be too late for this cycle, and she said that she doesn't want to do anything with progesterone until after I get my thyroid checked out with the endocrinologist, which won't be until the end of cycle 9.  

I know that may not sound like a long time, but we also just had to push our appointment with the RE back as well, because Mr. TB can't make our original appointment.  That appointment is now May 10th, which won't be until the start of cycle 11.  So I'm just having myself a pity party.  This cycle is probably a bust, and it feels like the next 2 will be as well. 

I've also been eating like crap the last 2 days.  I've been crazing junk food like none other - fries, chips, soda, etc.  I'm sure I'm putting on weight which I really can't afford to do.  I was hoping that the crazing might mean something (even though I know that's ridiculous) but now I'm just mad at myself for giving in.  Blah.

Job Interview!

Photo credit goes to http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/.

Hilarious stuff.

This is pretty much me this afternoon. I got a call asking if I could come in for a job interview on Monday!

The Background: In August I left my job in Virginia so that I could actually live with my husband again. We'd lived apart for 8+ months courtesy of the Navy. Part of that time Mr CB was underway and the rest we were living bi-coastally.

I've only had one interview, and that was by phone as I was on the East Coast still. It wasn't a good fit.

Needless to say being sent rejection letters from every place under the sun is pretty depressing. Especially when it continues for months.

The Scoop: The job is a PT gig at a local department store. Something I'm totally confident I can handle as I've done most of what was on the job description back in my high school and college days. Yeah, I'm over qualified. I have a BA degree and 10 years experience in my field. But you know what? My field isn't hiring right now. Even if it was, I work with hazardous waste and I literally can't go on those job sites if I'm pregnant.

This PT job is actually a potential really good fit for once the baby arrives as it would allow me to be home with the baby while my husband is at work and work a few evening/weekend shifts each week.

Financially, we can get by on my husbands income. It will be tight, but doable. My having an income will allow a little breathing room. It also will help occupy my days and help me feel a little more like I'm part of the world. This gap in my employment is my first time since I was about 16 years old that I've not had an income of some sort coming in. Its been an adjustment.


The Question: When would you tell them about the pregnancy?

I know they legally can't ask during the interview. If the subject comes up, I'll politely deflect. That said, when should I let them know? When an offer is on the table? Once we're out of 1st Tri? Once I'm showing?

I'm really uncomfortable telling people in real life about the pregnancy this early. My own mother doesn't even know yet and we're pretty close. I'm having a hard time with the thought of bringing it up to a complete stranger before I've even seen a heartbeat...but I don't know what the right thing is to do.

I'd love to hear what you would do in this situation, assuming they offer the job that is (please, please, please).

Waiting

A big congrats to all my fellow buds who are expecting! I wish you all the best :)

Well, at this point, all I can do is wait. Aside from the continuous pesky reminder about how it would've been my 8th week, and remembering that the 28th would've been our first pre-natal appointment, I am doing well. Just waiting for AF to show up so I can get on with my life, already. It's been almost 2 weeks since the bleeding has stopped, but my Doctor said it could be up to about 6 weeks before I go back into normal cycles. Oh joy of joys!

This weekend I was a bit down... We had a family gathering and I kept thinking about how nice it would've been to tell everyone our good news... Only there was nothing to tell in the Baby department. I just hope that soon I will feel the joy I felt when I knew I had a LO growing in me... Soon I will know that feeling again.

In the meantime I am just sitting back and thinking about a few things in life. A few incidents that occurred recently are making me reevaluate where we currently stand on a social basis, and these same situations are making me rethink who I choose to surround myself with. In the direction that I am going, I don't have time for nonsense and immaturity. It's only loads of positivity and good vibes from here on out!!




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And The Wait Continues

Photo Credit
Now I am officially another 48 hours which if my Beta were continuing to increase at the rate they did the previous 48 hours I should be at a 16!! I know pretty crazy high numbers there but I might as well put my amazing math skills that I learned in College to good use while I wait and hang onto this small shred of hope. I was going to do a HPT this morning but then decided I should wait till tomorrow or Friday so they would be higher if indeed they are increasing. Tomorrow I should be at a 32 and Friday should be a 64 and Saturday would be 128 which would be where I was about on day 16's Beta level of last IVF cycle which was ectopic.

I have not renigged the mass text I sent out to everyone that this cycle did not work because in all reality it hasn't but I do feel a bit guilty with everyone being sad and I am hanging onto a little hope that I can send out that text saying, "Guess what one did stick and grow and we are expecting!!" I got a lovely bouquet of flowers and one of the most well stated sympathy note that was the perfect mix of sympathy and positiveness. If I had it at work I would tell you what it said but it is on my fridge at home. I think that is what I hate the most about telling people is having to accept all the sympathies and wanting to talk when all I want to do is forget about it make it go away. I am excellent at ignoring the elephant in the room!!

Anyways, lets move onto any symptoms I am having of a possible pregnancy, by boobs are a little bigger, there is still no spotting or bleeding, the twinges/cramping has subsided to almost nothing and I have little appetite. So who knows I am still taking all the meds and man has this mornings Progesterone shot been smarting all morning!! Maybe it is because I am still taking everything that AF hasn't arrived to make it all final.

I will let you all know if I am brave enough to test tomorrow morning or Friday or Saturday!!

I. AM. PREGNANT!

I cannot believe it! I caved and decided to test around 10:30 with a Dollar Store test and it was almost immediately positive. I started shaking and repeating, "Oh my God, Oh my God". I followed up with a digital and it popped up 'Pregnant' fairly quickly.

Mr. Buttercup Bud and I are beyond thrilled. I had to tell him over the phone because he was on his way to work and I could not wait. He was so excited. We have been texting since then and he told me it hasn't really hit him yet. Tonight we are celebrating in the Buttercup Bud household.

Here is a picture of my tests:

Symptoms, lets see. HUGE boobs, HUGE. Like busting out of my bra. I also have somewhat sore nipples and a persistent lower backache. I have some nausea too, although I am not sure if it is from excitement/nerves or the pregnancy. I cannot believe it, I am pregnant! I am nervous, I so want this baby to stick, so any thoughts/prayers would be appreciated for Baby Buttercup Bud.

I have my first appointment with my OB/GYN next Thursday. I am hoping to go to the birth center that night for the information meeting. I would really like to go natural at the birth center.

Thank you for all of your support. I cannot wait to update you on Baby Buttercup Buds progress.

Best,

Buttercup Bud

10w4d Midwife Visit

I didn't have time to post at all last week--so I'm going to post a few in a row today to get you all caught up with what's been happening at the Magnolia Bud house.

Last Friday, we were scheduled for our first prenatal visit at the Birth Center. When we got there, I PIAC, and had my blood pressure taken and was weighed. 122/66 and 141--even with my pre-pregnancy numbers. We got a folder FILLED with information about the birth center, tips, worksheets, etc., and also a copy of "Our Bodies, Ourselves"--a book written from a midwife's perspective about pregnancy and childbirth.

We met with one of the midwives for over an hour--and spent most of the time talking about what to expect, how I've been feeling, my questions & concerns, Mr. MB's questions and concerns, etc. The lab had run all my bloodwork the week before, so I didn't have to give any more blood. I'm not due for a pap until the end of April, so we're holding off on the pap and STD screens until then. I don't have risk factors for gestational diabetes, so I don't have to do that test until my appointment at 26 weeks. And it's too early to test for Group B Strep, so that's on hold until my 36 week appointment. We heard Baby MB's heartbeat again, holding steady about 172.

I'll be going for appointments every 4 weeks from 10-26 weeks; every 2 weeks from 26-36 weeks, and every week until 40 weeks. If I get to 40 weeks, I'll start going twice a week, with non-stress tests at each visit. And then if I make it to 42 weeks (please no!), we'll have to talk about induction at the hospital. But if I go into labor between 36 and 42 weeks, we can deliver at the birth center.

At my next appointment on March 29, we'll be going over the nutrition worksheet (3 days worth of food recording, preferably after I stop feeling nauseous and can eat again). My mom will be in town for that appointment, so she's going to get to see the birthing rooms and hear the baby's heartbeat. Can't wait!

Cupcake Bud's Challenge

Being that my journey is the natural route when it comes to TTC I've decided to set a challenge (or perhaps some would call it a goal) for myself. I decided I wanted to see how many days in a row I could stay eating healthy. I've decided I won't eat anything fried, or sweets or drink soda. Eliminating these types of food altogether will help me accomplish my goal faster.

I've done it before and it became so natural not to eat it... so much I didn't even crave it. But after the miscarriage and putting the weight back on and not caring what I ate... I've opened the door for those awful cravings... and I want to close it again.

So starting today I will see how many days in a row I can do this :) and NO cheat days... if I do I will have to start the counter all over again. I want to at least make it to 100 days if possible. I know that is a lot, but I think I can do it.

Below is my counter to keep track of how many days it's been:

On a side note: to explain a little more why Mr. Cupcake Bud and I decided to go natural was because we tried drugs and other things... and they all failed us. I was tired of hearing all the things I couldn't do or how hard everything will be for me blah blah blah... gotta love PCOS.

However, I didn't want to hear it anymore and did my own research and came across a lot of research studies of how natural supplements/herbs helped ladies with PCOS reverse their symptoms and get pregnant. I felt it was worth a try after all because how can it be bad to try... boy was I glad I did. Not only did my symptoms go away and I was feeling much healthier, but I got pregnant :)

So this is why I am doing it the natural way again.

Hoping for a little magic!

First I want to welcome all the new buds! I am so happy to read your stories and follow your journey.

Sorry for the delay in writing, last week I was super busy helping one of my good friends get her wedding details finished before the big day. Both Mr. Determined Bud & I were in their wedding this past weekend. Since I was the only bridesmaid (or I guess matron) who was married I had to help keep her calm before the big walk down the aisle. It was a great day for Mr. DB & me to remember our vows, and the love we shared on our day. Something about weddings just makes everyone really express how they feel. Overall it was a beautiful day and perfect for our friends to express their absolute devotion and love to one another.

I was very excited because the morning of their wedding I woke and took an OPK, the normal for CD 14, and there was that little happy face smiling at me. I truly love that little happy face! Mr. DB & I started BD’ing! So now I am stuck in the dreaded 2ww! Today is CD 16. Fingers crossed that this cycle worked. I have definitely felt more symptoms than in my earlier cycles. I have felt more twinges of pain which I am hoping is my body actually ovulating! We will see. I think this 2ww might go a little faster than the others have for me. We will be closing on our new home in 10 days, so I have plenty of packing and cleaning to do to keep my busy until the wait is over.Photo Credit

I will be finding out right before our family (Mr. DB, myself, my amazing mother, & fantastic brother) vacation to Disneyland. How fun would it be to break the news to all of them in Disneyland. It would truly make Disneyland the happiest place on earth for us!

Photo Credit

So I am going to keep hoping I can share magical news to my family in a very magical place!