Look what I found today!

Yep, that's a BFP! A very very light one, but a freakin' BFP!!!!! I'm waiting on Mr MB to get home so we can celebrate. I called my OB, they want me in for labs tomorrow morning before work. I had to share, I am just so so so happy! I'll be back asap with Lab Results & how I told Mr MB.

A non-update

CD22 and no O yet.

I took some Motrin about a week ago. I had a migrane and I was far from home and desperate during my moot court competition. It looks like that may have delayed O for me this cycle.

I cannot call to schedule my HSG until CD1, so I am in TTC limbo at the moment. We are waiting to schedule Mr. Sassy Bud's S/A until CD1 also. On the off chance I were to get PG this cycle, I don't want to waste $150 on an uneccessary test.

Last night Mr. Sassy Bud and I watched this movie:

Photo Credit

If you haven't seen it, I would definitely recommend watching it. While the views were slanted (as most documetaries are), it still gave us a lot to think about as far as what we want to happen at the birth of our (imaginary) child.

Hopefully my next update will be a 2ww!

I Don't Even Recognize Myself: AKA Monitoring Update #2.6

I'm not going to hem and haw and try to be all literary with this blog post. I'm just going to stick to the facts. And the fact is I'M A FREAKIN' ROCKSTAR!!!

Jem is truly truly truly outrageous!

My E2 yesterday was 1130. I never even got that high last time AFTER trigger. I bet I get to 2k after trigger this time. My highest E2 last cycle was between 1000 and 1100. This is CRAZY!! My lining is 17 and trilaminar. Like i've said - my lining doesn't seem to be my problem. At all.

Measurements... check out these babies!!!!

• left ovary: 23x17, 18x17, 19x16, 17x14, 25x16, 19x17, 18x15, 19x19
• right ovary: 19x17, 19x17, 20x16, 19x16, 23x14, 18x13, 19x18

Dr Z thinks we're going to get 12 mature eggs at retrieval!!! Oh, and speaking of retrieval; it's going to be Wednesday. I'm triggering tonight!

So, now I'm just waiting for the call. Sometime this afternoon, Nurse F will call me with the details for my trigger and retrieval. The trigger has to be given at an EXACT time. I was able to find someone to work for me tonight, so I can leave at 7pm and be home by 7:30pm. Hopefully, trigger will be after that, but i'll take it to work with me, just in case. One of the nurses has done IVF, and she knows that i'm cycling. I'm sure if I need her to, she can trigger me.

Is it weird that I'd rather have Mr DB do it, instead of a trained nurse?

Who cares... I can't believe it's happening!! And I can't believe my ovaries are working! It took maximum doses for 10 1/2 days... but it's working!!!

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Trigger is tonight!!

Rising Temps

Take a look at my chart! Isn't it beauuuutiful?!

Yeah, very pretty I know... except STILL no BFP! This is worse than waiting to "O" or waiting during the 2ww! I feel great about this cycle. I've only been charting for two months (this is my third)... but I have a more calm & collected feeling about this cycle. Instead of a stir crazy feeling.

Well... I lied. I've gone through TEN HPTs this last 4 days. Why do I test so early?! I have no idea. I guess I just want to know right away so that I can call my OB right away? Or.. I'm stir crazy!

Hopefully I'll be back in a few days with some good news!

Exceeding Expectations: AKA Monitoring Update #2.5

The first thing that came out of my mouth when I saw the 22mm follicle:

"Holy Sh*t".

Dr B didn't really hear me - but later he asked me what I said and I told him. He laughed.

I like Dr B.

In other news, I'm still an egg machine. Follicle sizes for this morning are as follows:
right ovary: 17x14, 16x11, 16x14, 18x14, 18x16, 16x15 and 4 small
left ovary: 17x16, 19x16, 16x11, 18x16, 22x14, 18x10, 18x17 and a couple small

Dr B also said my lining looks great at 16tri. It's good that I have ONE thing going for me... my lining doesn't seem to be my problem at all.

My E2 yesterday was 899. I was hoping for something near 1000, so 899 is pretty darn close. And Dr B said that at this point, they're actually shooting for 800, so i'm exceeding their expectations now.

I like exceeding expectations.

So, it looks like I'll trigger tomorrow and be set for ER wednesday.

March came in like a lion - let's see if it can go out with a baby....

The Proverbial Square Peg - AKA Monitoring Update #2.4

We started a new medication yesterday. Ganirelix. I'm told that it's job is to prevent my oodles of follicles from releasing eggs too early. In other words, it delays ovulation. See - that's funny. Because I thought it's job was to burn and itch like a son of a bitch, but not until about 20 minutes after it's given. It first lulls you into this false sense of "Hey - this med isn't too bad". Then about 20 minutes later, you're all "son of a motherless goat... what the f is wrong with my freakin' arm?!!?!?!!?"

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As long as it does it's job, right, and keeps those suckers in there until Dr Z is ready to get them out.

So, yesterday, my nurse F did my monitoring u/s and it was great. I was an egg machine - she was finding them everywhere, and I LOVED the way they were measuring. This morning, Dr B (Dr Z's associate) did my u/s, and although I definitely LIKE Dr B, he's no Nurse F or Dr Z. And I definitely like the way Dr Z and Nurse F measure a little better. I don't know if they measure big, or if he measures small - but at least I still had about the same number of follicles today.

Here are my day 9 measurements, on day 2 of ganirelix, for anyone who's keeping count. My lining is 13mm and trilaminar.

Right ovary: 13x12, 12x11, 11x10, 16x14, 13x10, 14x12 and 3 small (less than 10)
Left ovary: 17x12, 14x10, 17x12, 12x9, 15x13, 15x13, 17x13 and a few small

The funny thing was that the 1st follicle on my left ovary looked like a square. I tried to find a good picture of one like it online, but this was the best I could do. It was sort of like the one in the middle on the right. But MUCH more sharply defined. Since it's 17x12, I guess it was more of a rectangle - but it REALLY looked like a perfect square. It was so funny.

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We're pretty sure that perfect square is half of our baby. ;) I like thinking that the funny looking ones can be our kid. We're such weirdos.

Anyway - no call from Dr Z's office this morning, which means they're not making any changes, and we have to be there again by 6:40 in the morning tomorrow. Yesterday, my E2 was 615, up from 480 the day before. Dr B says that's not bad at all. No call today means I don't get to find out today's E2 until tomorrow. Talk about pins and needles. Apparently the Ganirelix can also keep the E2 from rising and sometimes, even drop it a little bit. I hope it doesn't do that to me. I can't afford it. I just want this cycle to stay on the track it's already on. The good track. The working track. The "I have working ovaries" track.

In other news, the short term disability policy is a bust. Apparently, in the state of NJ, if you're infertile, you're all around screwed, regardless of how responsible you're trying to be. So, we're just not going to worry about it. There's nothing we can do about it. We can just hope we get pregnant, with all of the scientific and medical support we have, and do everything in our power to have a healthy perfect pregnancy that will allow me to work as long as possible.

Until then, i'll just be SO crampy. Headachey, nauseous, painful... I'm SO uncomfortable.

I'm so happy.

I graduated!

Yes everyone I graduated from my RE! While I didn't get one of these:


I did get one of these:


Which personally was much better than the prior. I am very excited to be released from my RE but at the same time very sad. I feel like it was all because of him we are where we are at today. He listened to me. He understood my issues and most importantly he fixed him. He was truly amazing. Not only was he amazing but so was his staff! They made me promise I will go see them when I am big and round especially since my OB is just upstairs from their office.

We are so excited. Sometimes I can't believe it. I think how just a couple of months ago I was crying and screaming because I was still spotting. Ugh. So annoying. But now I know there really was an issue and now its fixed.

I can't wait until next week when I can finally tell the world I am knocked up! Oh and then I can say hello to 2nd Trimester! Oh how I hope 2nd Trimester will like me as much as 1st Trimester did!

I think I'm finally getting my energy back or so I think. My m/s seems to be getting better. I know I have Zofran and it is my friend however my friend gives me horrible headaches. Its bitter sweet. Do I want headaches or do I want m/s. I have to choose my enemy. But overall I'm not complaining. I actually remember telling God, please show me a sign I'm pregnant. I want my head in the toilet. Wow be careful what you wish for huh? Its nice though.

Next week I have my 12 week OB appointment with my awesome OB. I need to talk to him about cervical issues I could have because of cyrotherapy a couple of years ago and also we have our NT scan scheduled. No matter what the outcome this child will be loved!

Oh and my issues from last post... well they are gone. Gosh I thought I was going to die. But after calling my OB and drinking benefiber MIXED with prune juice it did the trick. I learned my lesson though. Drink LOTS LOTS LOTS of water and eat tons of fiber. Things seem to be goign better on that end.

And to end Ill show you a 11 week bump picture. Sometimes I think its a bloat picture.

I Bid You Adieu

Dear Bloomin' Babies Readers,
It is with great contemplation that I have decided to leave this blogging world. I have enjoyed sharing my journey with you, especially the ups and downs of TTA and TTC. I would love to stay and share the rest of my story with you, but life seems to be taking me away from Internetland all together lately. I hope to at least come back and post photos of our son when he arrives this summer, but for now, I must say good-bye. I am still working on my graduate school, supporting Mr. BrainyBud through his last year (and a few months) of education school, and house hunting has definitely taken its toll during my busy time of the work year. I hope that you understand and don't miss me too much. I want to thank all of the amazing buds on here for your kind and great comments, I hope this blog continues to grow and help others as well. I'll leave you with a verse of scripture that helps me through all walks of life no matter where you are on this journey:

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." (NIV) 1 Peter 5:7

Faith First, Love Always, and Baby Flutter Blessings to All,
Mrs. BrainyBud

I'm a machine - AKA Monitoring Update #2.3

Okay, so I obviously don't have my E2 back yet, but that hardly matters. I'm not worried about it.

I repeat - i am NOT worried about it.

That's right. Me. Dandelion Bud... not worried. Did you just see that cow fly by? Seriously.

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I am an egg MACHINE today. My awesome Nurse F couldn't even stop counting follicles. We were up to 13 when Mr DB's voice recorder on his iPhone stopped recording, but there could have been as many as 15, if memory serves... there's 16s, and 15s, and 14s... oh my!

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My lining is 12mm trilaminar. Dr Z says not to worry about the lining. In his experience, there's no such thing as too thick. And honestly, I feel pretty darn good that everything is working right.

I started ganirelix as soon as I got home this morning, and will now be taking it once a day, with my gonal-F in the morning.

I'm starting to feel really achy and bloated. I can't wait to hear what my E2 is.

In other news, Mr DB and I are trying to get a supplemental short term disability policy in place for me before I get pregnant, because we realized that if I have ANY pregnancy complications, with my job, I'm going to get pulled out of work in a flash, and we will be in big trouble without my income (my STD policy through work sucks).

In NJ, it's fairly hard to get an individual supplemental STD policy. There are very few companies available that sell to anyone other than group/employer.

We met with an agent from Mutual of Omaha yesterday, who brokers for dozens of companies. He's going to double check with the underwriters in the morning, and get back to us, but it looks like because we've had treatment for infertility in the past 10 years, if I have any pregnancy complications, they will NOT be covered.

So essentially, because I can't get pregnant without IVF, and because I'm trying to be fiscally responsible and protect my budget, my home and my assets if I DO have a pregnancy complication, I'm screwed if I have a problem.

I will never understand why society is so damned concerned about how people get pregnant.

I'm going to leave you with this thought... I WISH this was still playing off-broadway. That would have been a great road trip! You have to check out the soundtrack on amazon.com... my favorite is "I have sperm in my pocket and I'm talking to Eileen" about collecting an SA.

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Hopefully, the next time I check in, I'll have great E2 news, and a good update about the STD policy... but i'm not holding my breath about that one.

Monitoring update #2.2

Wait – what is this bizarre emotion I’m feeling?

Is it possible that it’s…

I never updated the blog on tuesday after my first monitoring appointment, but somewhere around 3pm, I got a call from Dr Z’s office that my estrogen level (E₂) was 143! Comparatively speaking, at the first monitoring appointment last cycle, my estrogen was 52. Um, can you say significantly improved?

But what I really want to talk about is that this morning, I left my REs office without something to be concerned about for the first time since the beginning of my last uber failed IVF cycle. My E₂ HAD to be good, bunches of measuring follicles, uterine blood gone (without any bleeding, but who cares - it probably went out my tubes) and my lining is 9mm and trilaminar.

Check me out, all responding and crap. Who’d ‘ave thunk it?

I can’t remember the last time I felt this positive.

And then to find out this feeling could get better.

At 10:30 this morning, I got the call from Dr Z’s office. My E2 this morning was 480 on day 7 of stims. Comparatively speaking… last cycle on day 7 it was 80.

YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Ganirelix is most likely going to start tomorrow (my lead follicle is 13 today - and they like to start at 14).

I'm getting fairly bloated, and I love it!