Little Boy Blue

Snips and snails and puppy dog tails...
That's what little BOYS are made of!

On Saturday we heard the news: Baby NatureBud is a little boy! An elective 4D ultrasound while on vacation in San Francisco showed that our LO is healthy, happy, and looking just like he should at 18 weeks.

Here's the little fella:

Hi Bloomin' Babies readers!

Since we've been on vacation all week, we've had plenty of time to daydream about being parents of a little boy in 6 months. Mr. NatureBud is thrilled, as am I. We really like the idea of a first born son to be the leader of our future brood.

To get myself psyched about everything baby boy, I bought the little guy his first cuddly clothes today. Check them out. Zulilly ran a sale on HubCap boys playwear, which I'd never heard of before, but turned out to have the coziest, cuddliest little chenille boys clothes ever. There were pants to match, too, but I didn't order at first glance and they were all sold out by the time of purchase. Oh well. The booties and pullover will be perfect for my little winter Boston Baby Bean.

I'll be rounding out our vacation on Saturday afternoon with a prenatal massage. Can't wait!

Newsflash - I Have a Stubborn Child

We had to know from the beginning right - from the hell we went through getting pregnant, to finding out about the lost twin, to the bleeding hell with the subchorionic hematoma... nothing about this was going to be easy, right?

Well, my 12 ounce child isn't making it ANY easier.

Smudge continues to be the most stubborn and uncooperative child there is.

We had our anatomy scan today. S/he's frank breech, which means i have a head, 2 hands and 2 feet at the top of my uterus and a butt at the bottom. I gave a stern warning that s/he has 18 weeks to flip around, otherwise, we'll be meeting for the 1st time in the OR, and I'm not planning on that. There's plenty of time yet for said flippage to happen, so I'm not remotely worried about it. My placenta has also shifted to be more anterior than posterior now. It's actually right at the fundus. So, that might explain why it took so long to feel consistent movement, what with all of the hands and feet at the placenta.

45 minutes later - we got to see a hand!

The sonographer couldn't get all of the views they needed to check everything, but what they did see was absolutely perfect. We have to go back in 2 1/2 weeks to try to finish the anatomy scan, and we're also going to get a fetal echo, which is a specialized heart ultrasound, because apparently with the type of IVF (ICSI) we had to do, there is a miniscule risk of cardiac issues. We're not remotely worried - but if it's just an ultrasound, why not make sure EVERYTHING is okay... so they'll do it at the same time.

20 week belly

Meanwhile - we found out our risk categories for downs syndrome (1 in 880) and Trisomy 13 and 18 (1 in 10,000), so we'll happily take those odds. Apparently the average downs risk for my age group is 1 in 300 and once we finish the anatomy and fetal echo, he anticipates our risk dropping even more. (I already knew my results were "normal", but I'm glad the perinatologist told us the ratios.)

Smudge chewing on a hand

Since Smudge was incredibly uncooperative, we got awful pictures today. With the ones the tech gave us, she had to explain what we were seeing. I begged the one with the open hand from the perinatologist himself, since the tech didn't give it to me. I figured it was the only really clear picture the whole scan, and I wanted just one i didn't have to explain. He laughed at me when I asked, and happily handed it over.

Hopefully we'll get better ones in 2 1/2 weeks.

Anyway - here's Smudge at 20 weeks 1 day and my big ole 20 week belly. Its starting to get in my way now. It's so funny. I love it. 20 weeks and less than 10 pounds gained (7 the last time I got on a scale). I'm really proud of myself.

BW update

I just spoke with the nurse from my Dr.'s office. My cd 20 bloodwork for progesterone came back within the normal range (it was around 23). From here on out, it is the same old, same old. Since my insurance won't cover anything until I have been officially off bcp for 12 months, I have to wait until at least October. Since that is only 9 months of actually trying, DH and I need to decide if we want to say we were trying the whole time or wait an honest 12 months of TTC. She also advised me to keep a "period calendar" with the dates each of my cycles start and end. Oh if she only knew that charting I have been doing.
I ave not given up hope for this cycle, but we still have a couple more cycles to work through before we can do anything.

I got a feeling!

This is the phrase that Mr. PB has been standing behind for about a week. From the time we stopped having plenty of BDing, I have been told that this is the cycle and that he hasn't felt this way before about any of my other cycles. He has been on me to test since I think CD 4 or 5. We are heading to a friend's wedding today and will be on home Saturday. For this reason, he woke me up this morning during my first real week of vacation (hence the post at 6:45) so that I could test. No amount of explaining that testing at 8 dpo rarely gives positives and the chances are high I would get a negative even if things did work out for this cycle. Like the good wifey I am, I woke up and tested before he went to work and ........ it was negative. I was okay until I told him and had this incredibly crushed look on his face and just asked when my next cycle begins. I tried to explain to him again that I could still be pregnant, but it could be too early and I would test again on Sunday. This didn't seem to help. Now he is off to work and I sitting at home depressed, which is exactly the reason why I stopped testing early. At least I have a busy weekend to keep me busy. Tonight is my friends' rehearsal for their wedding, and then I will spend Friday with the bride and Mr. PB will be with the groom and Friday night is the wedding, and Saturday we are a little post wedding breakfast if we can get up. At least I won't feel horrible about having a few drinks. I don't mean to go over board, but I enjoy a few glasses of wine.

On a much different note, can I tell you how much I absolutely love the CBE digital opks? They are like this little magical stick that you pee on. I was so excited to see my smiley face (though it did happen on a day Mr. PB had to work about 16 hours, so no BDing occurred even though the doctor order it). It took all the guess work out of wondering whether I was having LH surge or not. They are wonderful and would probably continue to use them even if they cost $75 a box! Why didn't I find them sooner?

If you remember a few posts back, I said that my doctor had order cd3 and cd20 bw. Well the cd 3 came back "normal for a woman your age" whatever that means and I went for the cd20 bw on Monday and will call the results today. I will keep you updated.

Hopefully Mr. PB's "feelings" are as correct as they usually are and I will have something good to update you ladies on next week. :)

A dream is a wish your heart makes...

Last night, I had the most beautiful dream. My daughter was pushing a younger child on the swing. That child had dark curly hair and a face identical to my daughter's. They were both laughing and giggling. My daughter bent down and kissed her and hugged her and told her she was the best sister ever and they walked away hand in hand, skipping.

I didn't want to wake up. I wanted to stay in that beautiful moment forever.

Someday...

#3

So, this was supposed to be the post where I was all ZOMG, SQUUUEEEEE, EEEEEEE!!!!!%^&!!! And I was going to post this picture:

Because I was pregnant. Please keep in mind here the key operative word here is "was." I was pregnant for technically 5 weeks, but was told my pregnancy would not make it on 13 DPO.

First Beta was 21, Progesterone 20 on 11 DPO. Second Beta was 24, Progesterone 18 on 13 DPO. Not good numbers at all. I was told to expect a heavy period the next week when my Progesterone dropped to zero.

Mr. SB and I packed up our things on Friday night and set out for the vacation we had previously planned with our family. We expected the worst, but hoped for the best.

The only worse thing other than a miscarriage is waiting to know if you are going to have a miscarriage. I wanted to think positive, but I wouldn't let myself considering my track record.

On the day when I would have been 5 weeks pregnant, I started to cramp and eventually started to bleed. I bled so bad that I couldn't even make it to the beach for 2 days.

And then, for the third time in the past year, it was over almost as soon as it began.

Ya, I was an emotional mess for a few hours, but I eventually pulled my shit together, and became extremely. effing. frustrated.

I want to know why this keeps happening to me. I have had the preliminary tests run by my old OB (RH, Lupus, etc.), but they have all come back negative. My saline sonogram showed positive results. After I ovulated I cut back on caffeine, stopped drinking and I took my prenatal vitamins everyday. Right now, I am at a loss. Obviously there is something TREMENDOUSLY wrong but no one knows what that is. I'm sick of being heart broken, I'm sick of freaking the hell out every time I am pregnant (I went to the bathroom about 20-30 times a day to see if I was bleeding. Yes, I understand this did not help things, but until you have had 3 lost pregnancies, you won't understand) and I'm sick of feeling like a complete and utter failure.

What is wrong with me?

My gut (no pun intended) is this has something to do with my weight. I have never been skinny. With my first pregnancy, I was heavy, but not as heavy as I am now. I have gained 30 lbs since my wedding due to stress (losing my job, my father being diagnosed with cancer, 1st miscarriage, 2nd miscarriage, losing another job). And right now? I feel like going all slamhog in my kitchen and self medicating with a bottle of White Zif like I have for the past year. But I refuse to treat myself like shit anymore.

Today I started Weight Watchers. Its a start. I will be going to a nutritionist to start a new, healthy lifestyle. I have been so obsessed and preoccupied with having a baby for the past year and a half that I think I forgot about myself somewhere along the way.

Right now I'm at a crossroads. Do I keep on trying, or do I give myself a break to heal - both physically and mentally? I'm not sure. I have an appointment with my RE on Wednesday and I suppose Mr. SB and I will go from there.

Updates to come.

23-24 weeks - we've reached viability baby!

Today I'm 24 weeks & 2 days pregnant, which means our precious little Baby Worry Bud has reached the point of viability!!! That means that she would have a chance of surviving outside of the womb if she were born today. Of course, we absolutely DO NOT want her to come any time soon - November or late October sounds best to her mama & daddy, so she just needs to stay in there & keep growing big & strong! Baby WB is pretty much fully developed at this point, but she still has some stuff going on - her taste buds are developing & her lungs are continuing to mature. She's now putting on weight more rapidly & should be about 1.5 lbs. this week & 12.5 inches long! She also kicks away more & more every day. This past week, I registered for breastfeeding & childbirth classes, as well as our hospital tour! The BF class is in mid-August & I'm actually really excited to go to the class! Every milestone that gets me closer to my baby girl is a good thing. :)

Much to Mr. WB's dismay, my baby-buying obsession has persisted, but I have been limiting myself to only 1-2 things per pay period. I tell ya, it's so addicting buying cute stuff for your 1st little one! Mr. WB says I'm spoiling her already, but I say, she has no clue what spoiling even is yet, so it'll be fine! I am not buying any of the items on my registry - I have decided to restrict myself from that until after we have our showers (Mr. WB's family lives several hours away & is generously hosting a smaller one in their area for us as well) & see what goodies we get for her. I did, however, take advantage of that awesome deal buti-bag company was offering to Bloomin' Babies readers last week & purchased this adorable giraffe print blanket:

::dies from cuteness overload::

I can't wait to get it, I bet it's gonna be super soft & cuddly! And I defintiel'y can't wait until I get to put it to use with our precious little Baby WB!

I have been feeling pretty good overall - just sore here & there by the end of the day. And I've also noticed that I am starting to get a little stuffy, which I hear is common during pregnancy. I had a OB appointment this past Friday & I gained like 6 lbs since my 20 week appointment! The Nurse Practitioner, who I saw this time, said that I should try to just keep an eye on my weight & stay active, but that she's not extremely worried about such a fast jump over the 4-week period...she said it happens sometimes, but that I should only be gaining about 1 lb. per week during this part of my pregnancy. Eh well. I'm still well within the normal weight range, so I'm trying not to worry too much about it. But I am gonna get more strict on myself about walking on the treadmill @ the gym a couple times a week & about finding a pre-natal yoga class. We got to hear Baby WB's heartbeat at the appt., which was right around the 150 beats per minute range - very normal & I got a lab slip to do my 1 hour glucose tolerance test. It's supposed to be done during week 26, so I'll handle that in a couple weeks - wish me luck! Oh & the NP also checked out the swollen area under my right arm & she says it's just a swollen lymph node & warned that it may even get more swollen as my milk comes in. I asked when I would need to start counting the baby's kicks & she said not until around 30-32 weeks, but as long as she's moving daily then it's normal for now. And she definitely does that, hahaha! I also contacted my "life photographer" (as I've dubbed her), who shot our engagement & wedding photos & am working now with her to schedule a maternity photo shoot & also a newborn photo shoot when the babe arrives. The tentative plan is to do the maternity shots in mid-September, so I'll be a little over 30 weeks. And that's about it for the past two weeks of my pregnancy - just truckin' right along & waiting to meet our little girl in a little under 16 weeks! I can't believe how quickly time has been flying by!

And I definitely feel like I look pregnant nowadays - here are my week 23 & 24 bump shots. Still no stretch marks that i didn't have pre-pregnancy - hopefully it stays that way. :) I'm always either in maternity clothes or stretchy pants & fewer & fewer of my pre-pregnancy shirts fit now:

 23 Weeks:

24 Weeks:

So that's about all going on with me for now...wish me luck on the 1 hour glucose test I'll be taking in about two weeks! I wanna send a special prayer up for Chef Bud who is in the 2ww for IVF #1 - I hope you get your long awaited BFP & that you have a safe trip back home. 

Riverdance!

It's about freakin' time.

Last night, after a terrible day at work, I was treated to about 15 minutes of baby movement. We pulled out the doppler, and sure enough, every movement we heard, I felt. Smudge really seems to be the midnight party animal.

Photo Credit

Then again this morning, when I woke up, i got 2 little thumps to let me know s/he wasn't danced out yet.

I can't wait until our anatomy on Thursday... hopefully we'll see an example of what was going on last night.

I'm so happy that I could finally feel Smudge. Even though Mr. DB knew he couldn't feel yet, he was really excited and put his head on my belly and kissed it.

Almost at the half way point - and we can't wait to meet Smudge.

100 Followers Giveaway Celebration - Pretty Smitten Winner!!

Just stopping in to post the giveaway winner from last Friday's 100 Followers Giveaway Celebration  post & I'm about to make a very lucky someone happy!!

Without further adieu, the winner of the You Are My Sunshine Pretty Smitten Print is...
 

Lucky #32

lisanne who said...

I like the monogrammed stationary.

Congrats Lisanne!! I'm sending you an email & you will have 48 hours to contact me or I will have to select another winner. Enjoy your prize!!

And with that, we conclude the Bloomin' Babies 100 Followers Giveaway Celebration!! We hope you had fun during this giveaway event & also hope to bring our readers regular reviews & giveaways more often...so if you didn't win this time, keep an eye out for our next giveaway! Thanks SO much again to all of our followers for showing your support for all of us Buds! The blog's success wouldn't be what it is today without all of you. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

100 Followers Giveaway Celebration - [ReDeemed] Unique Art Winner!!

Just stopping in to post the giveaway winner from last Thursday's 100 Followers Giveaway Celebration  post & I'm about to make a very lucky someone happy!!

Without further adieu, the winner of the $25 [ReDeemed] Unique Art Gift Certificate is...
 

Lucky #2

Deb ~ tnshadylady who said...

follower! :)

Congrats Deb!! I'm sending you an email & you will have 48 hours to contact me or I will have to select another winner. Enjoy your prize!!

And while you're here, don't forget to enter the final 100 Followers Giveaway Celebration giveaway still going on right now!!

 

You Are My Sunshine Print from Pretty Smitten - ends TONIGHT, 7/15/10 @ 11:59PM (EST)