August 3, 2011

Catching Up

I thought I would bring you up to date with our embryo adoption. We had actually started the process last year before we adopted Baby Lucky Bud #2. We did some research and decided to use the National Embryo Donation Center(NEDC). There were a few main reasons why we chose the NEDC. One of them was because they were one of the few places that will let you persue a traditional adoption at the same time as embryo adoption. The cost was also less than other places. Also the program fee includes up to 3 transfers to achieve a pregnancy. We would have to pay some expenses for a second or third transfer, but just a fraction of the total cost.
Here are some of the basic steps to embryo adoption (there are some smaller steps in between)

1. homestudy...check
2. application with the NEDC...check
3. Blood work...check
4. Drive to Tennessee for a fertility work up from the Dr...check
5. Matching process for a donor
6. Travel to Tennessee for embryo transfer
Some of these steps we already had completed because we started this process before Baby Bud #2 was born, but then stopped the process when we were selected by his birthmother.

Right now we are in the process of being matched with a donor. There is a family and we have accepted them, and then they were given our profile, and likewise accepted us. Since it will be an open donation(meaning that some information will be shared) we are currently trying to agree on the terms of the open agreement. This has been going on for a week or so. We have agreed to give the donor family basic info from the transfer and birth, as well as updates and photos at least twice a year. (We are happy to do much more, but that is their minimum.)

Our minimum that we would like from them is to have a picture of them for any future child we might have(at the time that the child is born), as well as a letter to them from the donor family that describes their personalities, hobbies, interests, ect.

The donor family is not comfortable sharing a picture in fear that we will somehow track them down via the internet, and that their children will find out about the whole situation before they are ready to tell them. The photo and letter are very important for us to have for our children, so if they are not willing to do that, then we will probably start the whole matching process over. This would be very disappointing to me, so I really hope we can work it out.

At the moment, the donors are considering telling their children sooner, and then they would feel fine with us having the photo. Our social worker was sopposed to talk to them yesterday, and so I am anxiously awaiting her phone call today!



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