July 15, 2011

Its Here

(Image credit:http://tinyurl.com/6kc4lkm)

The due date from my first pregnancy has finally arrived. It seemed ages away when I miscarried last November. 35 weeks later, here we are.

I've had such a crazy mix of emotions this week. On the one hand, I'm grieving over what could've have been had the first pregnancy worked out. On the other, I'm so thankful for the little guy I've got growing inside now. Its a strange feeling knowing that he'd not have been possible had the pregnancy with his sibling worked out. In my situation, the first pregnancy would've only been at the 13 week mark when this pregnancy began. What's hard to explain is that I want the impossible. I want BOTH babies.

To make this week even more emotional, we're also at the crossover to 3rd Trimester (27 weeks tomorrow). I'm finding that a part of me wants to mourn what today should've been, and another part wants to celebrate the milestone for the little one on the way.

As sort of an aside, I'd like to suggest to all those that know someone who has had a miscarriage that you ask them when the due date would've been and acknowledge it when the time comes around. Not a single person I know in real life has acknowledged what today is, not even my husband. Not surprising for nobody to think of, but it kind of stings. It seems like a lot of people don't realize that even if a pregnancy loss happens really early on, there's a good chance that the mother-to-be has already calculated roughly when the due date would be. Its a date that sticks in your mind, no matter how much life has changed since the miscarriage happened.


C said...

I am so sorry for your loss but also so very happy that you're having a successful pregnancy this time. Wishing you a happy and healthy 3rd tri!

Cactus Bud said...

Thank you so much!


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