October 22, 2010

Perspective

Getting off the infertility rollercoaster is such a relief. No more shots, no more pills up my chooch, no more sticky residue on my stomach. No more wondering....  Last night I took off my estrogen patches, put all my pills and needles away, and threw my cycle calendar in the trash. All signs of infertility and loss are now tucked away (again) in my closet.

I sent email to my donor coordinator asking to speak to my doctor asap. I was debating whether to switch doctors or ask for a second opinion, but I hate to ruffle feathers just yet. For now I want to have some idea of the timeline we're looking at. (Of course I already made my prediction in my last post, but I want to hear it from the doctor.)

I told my donor coordinator that I wasn't going to schedule another blood test. I am sick of blood tests, and I'm not ready to face the clinic staff in person. The condolences are appreciated, but we've already been there, done that. I'll probably POAS this weekend to see how things are going. When the pee sticks go negative, I'll make the appointment. Hopefully my body won't betray me yet again with hcg that sticks around. Can I please just go back to 0 like a normal person?

The reason I titled this post "Perspective" is that my cycle buddy, another DE recipient who also had a loss earlier this year, was cycling again about 2 weeks ahead of me and she just found out she has an extremely rare ectopic pregnancy known as a cervical pregnancy. We both got our BFPs but unfortunately hers stuck in a tragic way. My heart breaks for her...I cannot even imagine the pain she is going through. Infertility is so cruel.

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