September 1, 2010

Being Careful What You Purchase

FF spirited away my cross hairs this morning. Damn her.

I had a rather comical experience this week. Until this Sunday, I had never received TTC advice from anyone but members of my own family (or Mr. Cherry Bud's own family, who are quite liberal with it, I can tell you). Advice like that is annoying, but it's well-meaning and at least it comes from people who have a vested interest in what my ovaries will someday produce.

And then.

This Sunday, I ran by our local supermarket before family dinner to pick up a 6 oz can of tomato sauce. In case you don't buy tomato sauce in 6 oz cans, this stuff costs about 37 cents. I, of course, had zero cash on me, and you just can't put a $.37 purchase on your debit card. They pay supermarket-debit card taxes on that stuff.

So, in view of not annoying the store people, I ran by the magazine rack and grabbed a copy of FitPregnancy. I'd like to say that my obsession with that magazine is a TTC thing, but I would be lying. I started reading Parents when I was ten, focusing on any articles that detailed labor and delivery. Which I'm sure was a totally healthy thing for a ten-year-old to do. Point being, I'm a wierdo. On with the story.

Tomato sauce and Magazine-That-Doesn't-Apply-To-Me in hand, I headed to the register, aiming for one run by a woman that I know by sight. She's very sweet, but it's important to note that I don't know her outside the grocery store. At all. She doesn't even know my name. But as she rang (rung?) me up, this is the conversation that ensued (with commentary)

Cashier: Oh, are you pregnant?! (understandable question considering the purchase)

CB: Not yet (dumb answer. Never give anyone a "yet")

Cashier: Are you trying?! (Here we go)

CB: Um...yes? (in my defense, her openness with the question flustered me, and I didn't have time to come up with a scathing retort encouraging her to mind her own beeswax)

Cashier: Good Girl!! (Good girl? What?) The key is to not think about it! My friend was told that she was completely infertile by all the doctors, and they tried for seven years, and she finally gave up and wasn't thinking about it, and she got pregnant. All the books say that is what you're supposed to do. Even the doctors say so. (All the books and doctors, huh?)

CB: (taking my "groceries") OK, well, I'll do that.

Cashier: Just relax! That's the key! If you stress, it will throw everything off. Just enjoy it, and tell your husband he has to enjoy it too! If he's stressed, you won't get pregnant. Take your vitamins and everything, but relax! Enjoy doing it!

CB: (I don't know what possessed me to say this) That reminds me, I'm supposed to pick up my vitamins, and I forgot.

Cashier: Pick up your vitamins!! And relax!! Tell your husband!!

The end.


Silver Rose said...

Haha your commentary made me laugh! I'm like you, I can't think of anything at the moment and always tell it like it is to my detriment. My stepmom actually credited putting this little wooden baby in a little wooden womb for her pregnancy. Even at 7 I thought she was a little nuts.

Jen J. said...

::headdesk:: i can't believe she got in your business like that! how embarrassing.


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