February 15, 2010

Patience is a virtue

I'm on to a new cycle now, but not without a lot of heart-wrenching false hope getting here. Last week, I let myself believe I saw faint lines on some dollar tree tests (despite blatant BFNs on FRERs), bought into the phantom symptoms, and set the stage for a total meltdown once AF came. It was rough, and I vow to never allow myself to do it like that again. My days of testing before 15dpo and charting signs are done - forever.

The whole experience taught me something: Sometimes the best things in life take a little patience. I'm used to getting what I want when I want it, and so far, that isn't happening on the TTC front. It reminds me a little bit of the hoping and waiting for the ring that I went through a couple years ago. I wanted to be engaged so badly, and when a friend was proposed to before me, I was so jealous. Another friend told me something that really stuck. She said "Jane has already had her proposal moment. It's all just memories for her now. You still have yours to look forward to, savor every minute!"

I know that I still have my BFP to look forward to. Someday, I'm going to POAS and that second line will show and my life will change forever. I will have made a whole new life with the man I love, and I can't wait. It's going to be wonderful. The fact that it hasn't happened yet means that I still have that to look forward to. And I intend to savor every minute!



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