Makeup Bud Waves Her Brush Hello!

First, I have to give a very warm thanks to Worry Bud for giving me this opportunity to share Mr. Makeup Bud & my TTC journey. I am touched by the community and sense of friendship everyone shares here, I am excited to join in!

Secondly, let me tell you a bit about myself and our journey. Hi! *Waves my Makeup Brush Around* I'm Makeup Bud! How did I choose my name, you ask? Well, I'm a Makeup Artist! I've been doing makeup for almost five years now. I work for one of the world's leading makeup companies as well as owning my own business doing makeup. This is the type of career that I never saw myself in. In fact, I have my BA in Psychology. I absolutely love being a makeup artist and helping women (and men!) look and feel their best!

Mr. Makeup Bud and I have been together since July 2001. We met while working together at Arbys in high school. This past summer, we got married on our 8 year anniversary. Our world was shocked when we found out the week of our wedding that we were expecting. Here's where our journey to starting a family begins.

The morning we got our first BFP was the day of our Rehearsal Dinner. After the shock and excitement, Mr. Makeup Bud said, "We can't tell anyone." Confused, I asked, "What?!" He reminded me that we are getting married in a matter of four days and we cannot lay this on our family right now. It'll just be too much. We need to get through the wedding, enjoy our honeymoon in Jamaica, and we can share the news when we get back. This was when our naivety was at its best, for our only concern was stressing our family out - not a single thought of loss or complication in our future.

So, we did just that! I told my closest friends that were in our bridal party so that they could steer my drinks in the right direction (they went so far as to pour my ENTIRE bottle of Malibu Rum out and fill it with Sprite!). But other than that, we kept it silent. Our wedding came and went, and coincidentally the only time I had morning sickness was on our wedding day.I woke up that morning to Mr Makeup Bud's text message that read, "How's my lovely bride-to-be and my little bean?" ... "Bean is making me siiiiick :( " I said. And from there on, it was hustle and bustle the rest of the day.

Baby Makeup Bud, in her short life, got to enjoy the beaches and waters of Montego Bay, Jamaica; She got to climb a 1000ft waterfall with Mommy & Daddy Makeup Bud, and enjoy all of the virgin strawberry daiquiris Mommy wanted. When we first got to our resort in paradise I remember walking the beach right in front of our room and exclaiming aloud, "I have everything I've ever wanted!" At that moment in time, I did. Time seemed to creep along, slowly and peacefully on the island, which I appreciated.

The moment we got back from Jamaica, I couldn't wait to tell our parents about our little secret. The next day we went to our first OB appointment. We were only about 6 weeks 6 days along so it was a little early to hear a heartbeat - or so the Nurse said. So we scheduled another appointment for two weeks later, and off we were with our sonogram photo and a happy feeling. We told our parents that night while having them over for dinner.

Two weeks later, at 8 weeks 5 days, we took my mom to our ultrasound to hear the heartbeat. She was very excited to be a grandma and couldn't sit still in the waiting room. As soon as we started the ultrasound, I knew something was wrong. The Nurse was taking photos of every part she could. My uterus. My tubes. My cervix. When Mr. Makeup Bud realized this, he asked, "So....... where's the heartbeat?" The nurse said she was having trouble finding it and scooted out of the room quickly.

You guessed it, we lost her (technically there wasn't a sex yet of Baby Makeup Bud, but I knew in my heart it was a girl). Baby Makeup Bud never even developed a heart, let alone have a heartbeat. She only measured 6 weeks along. I scheduled our D&C for the next day. My body showed no signs of taking care of things naturally.

Please join me on our journey of TTC After a Loss, and everything that comes with it. I do appreciate your sensitivity and if you actually got through my entire introduction - cookies for you!