November 2, 2009

RE Consult tomorrow afternoon...

and I'm not completely sure how I feel. On the one hand, I am very hopeful & excited that this Dr. will take my concerns seriously & get us that much closer to correcting my LP issue & a BFP! On the other hand, I am scared that either: a) he will say that I should wait it out a bit longer & "let my body regulate" and/or ask me what the heck i am doing in his office after only 4 (almost 5) cycles, or b) during testing we will find out something is seriously wrong with one or both of us...which will make our TTC #1 journey just that much longer. Uggh. I don't know why I have these thoughts/fears - I am sure everyone does in my position, but I obviously just never thought we would have to go thru all of this. I am seriously hoping & praying that is just a LP issue & that it can easily be corrected with a progesterone supplement & at worse - some Clomid.

I actually really even hate the thought of putting that stuff into my body - I try to be conscience about the drugs I put in my body & don't like to add anything unnecessarily. However, I am going into the appointment with an open mind & hopeful heart. And I will listen to the Dr. & take his advice seriously. Mr. WB will be attending the appointment with me, so I am sure he will help to calm my nerves a bit.

As far as cycle #5 - it's going...I have been keeping my self really busy with the change of the holidays, our Master Bath makeover (SOO exciting!) & my new car (EEEeeee...even more exciting!). I mean, I have been charting - perhaps not a fervently as in the past & not paying as much attention to all my body's cues & symptoms, but I am pretty confident that I know when I am O'ing. I usually get O pains & EWCM the day before & day of O. However, this cycle my body is being a little strange. I got a + OPK yesterday, slight O pains & mostly creamy CM with a little bit of watery at the end of the night. The today, I have only had a few twinges of O pain & very scant watery CM. WTH body? I am going to hold my pee all the way home today & take an OPK when I get in from work. Today is CD 20 & I usually O between 18-22, so we shall see what happens. Is it bad that I think that BD'ing around O & getting excited about O'ing this cycle is such a waste because I am almost certain that my stupid LP will bring me down from the high in just a few short days? PLEASE, Please, PlEaSe....if you can spare some thoughts & prayers...please pray that Dr. G can help us figure out what's going on & get us PG quickly! We just can't wait to be parents to a little baby Worry Bud. I will definitely be be back to let you know how the consult goes tomorrow!



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