August 21, 2009

Smacked Upside the Head


I am Brainy Bud, and I wanted to tell you a little bit about myself and my TTC journey. I just turned 26 years old, and live in the South with my DH (dear husband), Mr. Brainy and our sweet furbaby yorkie "BrainyDog".

In November of 2008, I was smacked upside the head like a 2x4 by what is known as the baby bug. I felt like a windshield going though south Alabama. I never wanted kids growing up, I'm too much of a scaredy-cat when it comes to needles and pain. Why you must ask? To make a long story short: When I was very young, getting my vaccines, the nurse held the needle within an inch of my arm and then said "Now don't move or the needle will break off in you" WHO SAYS THAT TO A KID! SERIOUSLY!

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Anyways, back to our TTC journey. Mr. Brainy has always been ready to be a dad, but I never really wanted a child until I met him. He is terrific and willing to wait until I felt comfortable in life before really discussing the particulars of TTC. Well, as luck would have it, I would begin having desires to have our child during the middle of his college career. In my head, I say, “Brainy Bud, you know that you don’t have all your ducks in a row, what about this? What about that?” but my heart has been gradually over dominating the discussion with my college-educated brain saying, “You are both ready for a family, God’s calling you to begin, You are ready for the challenges and love.” At first, I kept fighting my heart by making a few small purchases telling myself that beginning to buy things now will make you feel better, financially, later. Yea, RIGHT! That Kate Spade Diaper Bag/Tote Bag and free baby wash (after coupon) just wasn’t cutting it! Time to Fly, I have the Need for Speed, or at least a baby to enhance our family.
So, as we have traveled the past 8 months,

  • I’ve watched Mr. Brainy have a growing desire to hold newborns where he would not even hold his niece until we made him (even though neither of us would ever ask to hold someone else’s baby)

  • The pain we both felt every time someone reminded us that yet ANOTHER family member was producing a spawn of their own and that we are the only grandchildren (on my side and his) that have yet to have a child. Yuk!

  • The heartache of looking at our bank account after an emergency room visit and wonder, can we really do this?

  • Seeing the parents with children in Disney World and thinking, “OMG! Next time we are here, that might be us!” and feeling the waves of emotions of terror screams for ice cream and precious family moments…

Seeing one pregnant woman in movies or seeing one more baby commercial makes me want to throw up thinking of our journey ahead and how many more hard decisions yet to come. We are so excited that we have finally decided to bite the bullet and start TTC this fall, no matter the obstacles, we leave them up to God to take care of them all.

Faith, Love, and Baby Flutters
Mrs. Brainy Bud



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