August 25, 2009

Our Miscarriage...

I will never forget the first day that I saw blood in the toilet when I was 6 weeks pregnant.

It was suppose to be a great day for Mr. Bud and me... It was a beautiful Sunday Morning and we were getting ready to go out to buy a few things for a barbeque that we were planning on hosting to surprise the family with the big news.

I woke up and followed my daily routine and as soon as I finished using the restroom I saw some spotting and of course like every pregnant women out there I freaked out. So I told Mr. Bud and we decided to relaxed for the rest of the afternoon. Towards the evening time the spotting started to get worst and bright red blood started flowing every time I would use the restroom. At this point, I’m freaking out, pulling out all my pregnancy books, searching the web and calling the doctors office to find some answers.

The doctor on call called me back right away and explained what was going on and there was a 50/50 chance of anything at this point. He explained that there are women out there that bleed all throughout their pregnancies and go to having a healthy baby and then it can be signs of an early miscarriage. He advised me that if I filled up a maxi pad within 2-3 hours then I should go to the ER, luckily the bleeding was not that heavy so I decided to wait it out at home and go to the doctor’s office first thing in the morning.

The following morning I was up as soon as I saw sunlight cracking through the blinds and was ready to go to the doctor’s office. I wanted answers… Was my baby fine, alive, miscarriage, What was going on??? As Mr. Bud and I sat in the waiting room we waited and waited and waited and saw so many happy pregnant couples and he just kept telling me... ‘Don’t worry we will be fine, we still have a 50/50 chance’. FINALLY the nurse called us in 4 hours later and asked for me to POAS to tell us that we are pregnant. All I could keep thinking is, ok the baby is still in there, and we still have a chance, until we went in for the sonogram.

The doctor asked me a few questions, How many weeks? First pregnancy? Planned? I answered everything as fast as a speeding bullet so that she can get the sonogram machine moving to see what was going on in there. Then she asked me again… ‘How many weeks are you?’ I reply waiting for some terrible news just by her facial expressions; I’m a little over 6 weeks actually 6 weeks 5 days to be exact. She then explained that is not possible, the sac was measuring at 4 weeks and there was no heartbeat. She began on explaining all these medical terminologies and all I could think about was this baby that I had been nurturing, protecting, planning the future for was dying on us. All I could as her was why this was happening, is there any chance that this baby will catch up? She then told me we just had a chemical Pregnancy and continued to tell me there was no way that I was 6 weeks pregnant.

I was so frustrated that I continued to explain to this doctor that we were charting so I know exactly when I ovulated and I have normal cycles, but everything I was explaining to her was going in one ear and out the other. All I kept hearing was you must have conceived another day, not the day you think. After the trans-vaginal sonogram she sent me to do blood work so they can test my beta (HCG) levels to determine if the baby was either growing or getting ready for the miscarriage.

A woman’s Beta (HCG) levels should be increasing daily in your first trimester. This is the only way to determine if there are any problems in any pregnancy. The doctor will request you to do blood work at least a day apart and then compare the results. Here is a graph of what it should look like:

On Wednesday I went back to the doctor’s office because the pain was too much and the bleeding began to get heavier. At this point I already knew we were going to m/c. I already had it in my mind and was ready to hear that. My first beta test came back at 565 and the second one at 195, which means there is no hope from here. They explained to us our options of either having a D&C or a natural miscarriage. Due to the fact that I was very early in the pregnancy and we wanted to start trying again right away I decided to have the natural miscarriage. They explained everything to us and the doctor continued to tell me that it was a chemical pregnancy.

That night was the worst night ever, I already knew what was happening to my baby and there was nothing that I could do or have done to prevent this from happening. Now was the waiting game.

Every time I would use the restroom I would look to see if anything was there, a sac a blood cot anything but all I would see is a toilet full of blood. No full maxi pads, just a toilet full of blood. By Thursday afternoon the cramps had gone away and the Bright red bleeding was dark brown spotting. I knew it was over.

I began to research Chemical Pregnancy (CP) and realized this is not what happened to us. Unfortunately CP is very common. 50 to 60% of first pregnancies end in miscarriage very early in pregnancy. Most occur without the woman even knowing that she was pregnant. We had a sac formed without the embryo, so this means it was not a CP but a Blighted Ovum.

This morning was my follow up appointment and everything went just fine, everything was clear in the sonogram and I should be receiving my beta results by tomorrow afternoon to double check that they are under 50.

My Period should arrive within the next 4 weeks and we will begin TTC after that.


Jen J. said...

I can't imagine how scary that must have been for you....praying for a sticky baby for you & your H soon!

Flora Bud said...

Ugh, I do not wish this to anyone. I will never forget this experience and a day does not go by with out me thinking of what happened to us.

Thank you, hopefully we see a BFP soon.


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