:-/

I wish I could just know what is going on with this cycle of mine. It is currently CD68, with no sign of AF, not even in the distance. My temps have stayed relatively high the last week, and my boobs have been killing me! They are slightly better today, but they've been so bad I haven't even wanted Mr. DBud to touch them (and he is always trying to cop a feel). The whole breast has had this tender feeling, while my nipple hurts a bit more. Strange :-/ here's what my current chart looks like (I'm going to have to link it to my profile on the sidebar to make this easier).

I also had a wicked appetite yesterday. I had black beans and rice with steak and some avocado for dinner (what can I say... I'm Cuban) and a bite size piece of Cheesecake my student's mom made for me. That was at almost 8pm. At midnight, I was starving! I went to bed without eating anything, cause it was too late and I was already laying down... But still.No results from the Dr. yet. Going to call today and see if I can get some answers. They said that no matter what the results turned out to be, they would contact me about them. The Dr. also said if it was something out of the ordinary, she would call me and set up an appointment. But the communication from there office the past three weeks has been... Zilch. Let's see what happens. Will update when I have "answers".


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18 Weeks

This last week flew by! Mr Lucky Bud took off Thursday to Monday New Years weekend, so it was great to be all together for a long weekend. I normally post on Thursdays, but was waiting to post until I had a photo, and I finally took one today.

I finally have not only gained back the lbs that I lost with always being sick in my first trimester, but also gained 3 lbs. Yeah! I worry about getting enough nutritian  and also gaining weight for the baby so I am happy to see a change in my weight. I am starting to show little by little, but not that much.

Our embryo donors contacted our social worker to see if we could meet in two weeks! This is great news for us as we know very little about them and was hoping that they would be open to a semi open situation. I am a little nervous but excited at the same time. I set up my ultrasound for Wednesday, January 18th and am looking forward to that.

Mr Lucky Bud finished doing all of the work to install a washer and dryer on the upstairs floor of our townhouse, and they arrived yesterday! I did my first load upstairs today. This is going to make life so much easier! Yeah!

Our baby is now about 5.5 inches crown to rump, and 7 ounces. I am still VERY hungry lately. That is basically all there is to report this week. 

18 weeks, 4 days

Little Lucky Bud colored Lucky Tummy Baby

Here's the plan, Stan!

Mr. Bossy took off this past Wednesday, and we returned to our RE.

First off, I have to say that we have the BEST RE in the world. She is so kind and really takes an interest in Mr. Bossy & me. She sat down with us and explained that we would be transferring two embryos for our FET. The embryologist will decide on the two that we'll transfer. At first, I was annoyed by this. I like to have a say in major decisions, and I was a little ticked that we wouldn't get to decide. My RE explained that the embryologist knows best and will be able to make the best decision as to which two will hopefully (fingers crossed) attach.

She also explained how much easier a FET will be on my body. She's having me take estrogen and progesterone. That's it. She had previously mentioned that I would take 4 nights of the progesterone in oil shots, then switch me to the suppositories. I had a mental note to ask if I could just stay with the shots. I'd prefer them since they are over with so quickly, and I've heard the suppositories are really messy. Imagine my surprise when (before I could even mention it) she asked if I would like to take the PIO shots only. Without hesitation, I agreed! She actually prefers her patients to continue with the shots but also knows how painful they are, so she doesn't require it. She was pleased that I would prefer to keep taking them.

Mr. Bossy really surprised me when he spoke up and asked if there is anything he needs to do to help us. My RE told him that he'd already done everything and to just relax. Regardless, I thought it was really sweet of him to see what he could do to help our chances.

Now for the frustrating part- Aunt Flo still hasn't arrived. When I mentioned it to our RE, she acted like it was normal. The plan is for Aunt Flow to arrive. Then, we'll get started on the next cycle. I'm so anxious! Our RE said that it is not safe for us to try and conceive on our own this cycle. She went on to explain that 40% of couples that use fertility treatments are able to conceive on their own afterward. She gave us the "all clear" to try naturally the cycle after AF arrives.

In the midst of all of this, we've had two more pregnancy announcements amongst our friends. Does it ever get easier to hear them? ::sigh::



Bossy Bud

AF's Vacation

I am NOT happy to report that AF has, still, not arrived. I am on CD65 with no BFP and no AF. My boobs have been KILLING ME the last few days (they are super tender and my nipples hurt). I STILL haven't gotten my lab results from the OB/GYN, therefore I am planning on calling them on Tuesday, which will mark three weeks since my appointment (15 business days). They told me it should take about 10, and I overestimated a bit due to the holidays... But enough is enough. Can you tell I am ready for a new Doc?! I haven't filled the prescription for the AF-forcing meds, since I am waiting for my results first. We'll see how this all pans out. My CBEFM arrived today. I have been very busy, packing up some stuff (and getting rid of lots of stuff) to do a home renovation project, so I didn't want to pull it out and then not have time to peruse the contents of the box. I am excited about using it, and hope that it will shed some more light on my situation. I would be interested in finding out about my fellow buds, as well as the readers', experiences with the CBEFM. Please share :)


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New year, same cycle

First off, I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year :) May 2012 be the year of many sticky babies! I've been a bit MIA lately, caught up in the Holidays, followed by our NYE trip to the Happiest place on Earth (which, by the way, was amazing). I have since resumed my daily routine of waking up early to go to work, and temping as well. This is what my chart looks like now...


No O and no sign of AF, but I've had tender breasts the past couple of days, so that may be a sign that she is approaching (or not). Still, I am hopeful for the future. I am (still) waiting on the results of my blood work and ultrasounds (do you think it's time to find a new OB/GYN?), but when the results are in, I'll probably fill the prescription the Doc gave me to force AF to show. Then, it'll be off to the RE. I took some good advice from a fellow bud and found a CBEFM on eBay. I won the item, and it is now on its way. Hopefully this will work out :) I am curious about how a CDEFM works vs. how OPKs work. I am assuming that (due to the price) the CBEFM is more sensitive - one can hope - but to tell you the truth, I don't know much about them. I guess we'll see :) Anyway, I am trying to stay positive despite other not so positive things surrounding me at the moment - which I won't mention here. I am getting a feeling that 2012 might be "it". While we were in WDW, Mr. DBud and I took a friend on "It's a Small World" (she had never been on it before). We were amazed at how many people have thrown coins in the water! Well, Mr. DBud pulled a coin out of his pocket and tells me, "Here's to changing our luck" as he proceeded to toss it in the water beside our little boat. I felt this joy inside me, and couldn't keep a smile off my face. I think this year will be so much better for us... I can feel it :)


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A weight lifted...

I decided to call my OB/GYN yesterday to see if my US could be moved up to this week since that's when they wanted it done anyway. A couple of hours after leaving the message for the nurse, she called and told me that it was scheduled for today at the hospital at 9:15! I was utterly surprised and excited. (My provider at work persuaded me to get my beta checked again because I worrying "too much." To my surprise it was over 188,000! The absolute highest it's ever been.)


Anyway, my mom went with me this morning and this is what we saw...

HAAaaaaaa. A sigh of relief, a few giddy giggles and a high five later the tech measured the heart rate at a strong 170 beats per minute. It was beautiful. And exciting. And exhilarating. And miraculous. To have never gotten this far in a pregnancy and to make it to this milestone...no words.

Thanks Buds for the support and I pray that we all will have Baby Buds in the months to come!

Hormone Replacement Therapy

So with the New Year, we have a new plan. We are going to Hormone Therapy for the next 4-6 months, I am going to lose the extra weight, get in shape and try another IVF cycle at the end of our hormone treatment cycle. This is something I can do to try and improve our chances and something I have control over so pretty much it will keep me sane, for awhile! :)

I met with the RE today and talked about what Hormone Replacement Therapy ("HRT") could do for my "issues". The RE said that HRT has shown to improve egg quality, help increase insulin sensitivity and balance my hormones to treat my PCOS symptoms, increase my sensitivity to the fertility drugs in future IVF cycles and help me feel better overall. I did appreciate this statement from the RE "You deserve to feel good after all the stuff you have been through". Amen to that!! With treating the PCOS and Hypothyroid symptoms I should be losing this lovely extra 15-20 pounds I am carrying around, have more energy, clearer mind, sleeping better, better sex drive, stronger nails, less dry skin and better muscle tone (I used to have amazing muscle definition before all these problems started).
I had my blood drawn to test my thyroid levels, total and free testosterone, FSH, progesterone, estradiol, and prolactin. My veins are a nurses nightmare because they are by feel only and like to disappear and it seems my left arm is really the only one nurses can find. I had to drink 32 oz of water, eat some crackers and be stuck four times to get enough blood to run the tests. PURE JOY :)
We will wait and see what all my levels are looking like so the RE will know the dosage to give me of hormones. The procedure sounds pretty simple, the RE will make a small incision above my hip and place a pellet of natural testosterone and estrogen mixture that will sit and be absorbed over the next 4-6 months. Every day 14-28 of my cycle I will need to take natural progesterone to make sure my lining is shedding properly. The effects are supposed to be noticeable from 1-4 days of putting in the pellet. If they are not then they may need to add another pellet due to my hormone levels being depleted for so long that they need an extra boost.

After 4 months the RE will test my Testosterone levels to see if they are down to a normal level and if they are we can do another IVF cycle then or we will need to wait till about month 6 when the hormones have completely left my system.

I am going to also start talking with acupuncturists in my area that specialize in infertility to see what they recommend for someone with my problems doing IVF and what they charge.

I am getting tired of the emotional roller coaster and am ready to do all that is available out there. I am not sure how much more I can handle of failures, it is just so depressing and long and stressful and tiring and emotional and, and, and...

The New Years Celebration is Over Rated

Well, 2012 is a bust already. My temps were rising at one point but now they are decreasing. Aunt Flo is def on her way to see me.

I guess the Femara didn't help me to get KU. I'm so frustrated. After 3 miscarriages and 1 tubal in the past 15 months I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. This is our 3rd month in a row that we were unsuccessful. I never had this problem in the past and here I am having to deal with "infertility" on top of a history of losses. My medical bills are stacking up to the point of disgust. There's no way I could ever afford IVF so I feel like this will never happen for me. I just wanna cry.

-Buckeye Bud

Final Results

I went in on New Year'e eve morning to have my blood drawn and then ran some errands while I waited for the RE to call. Luckily I managed to be heading to my car when the call came in so I wouldn't be surrounded by people!! My levels dropped to a 2, so I am officially not pregnant. I had a feeling that was the results since I started bleeding the night before. It was brown but a lot more blood than spotting.

I feel kinda numb right now, I am sad but I am not as sad feeling as the past two times. I am not sure why that is but at least I am functioning better. I definitely had the right support group this time around. The first time I told family and a couple close friends, the second we ended up telling a ton of people and I hated getting to tell everyone it didn't work and being asked about it. So this time we only told the people that "got it" and would be the support system that both Mr. Explorer Bud and I needed. With all the ups and downs of this cycle my support group, including my buds, were what kept me sane and positive throughout. Thank you soo much!!!

Whats next? I briefly talked to the RE about doing Hormone Replacement Therapy before trying another cycle so I am going to call and make an appointment this week to really talk about it. I am also going to look into acupuncture to see how much it will really cost us to do as well. I am not sure what else we can change that will make IVF work, there isn't anything else left.

Wherefore art thou, Aunt Flo?

Happy 2012!!

Mr. Bossy & I rang in the New Year with friends and family last night (and early this morning). We've just returned from my MIL's after eating black-eyed peas and collard greens. Now, sadly, it's time to take down our Christmas decorations.

I'm so excited to begin the New Year off right. My New Year's resolution is to drink less caffeine (sweet tea is my vice) and more water. Day 1 (so far) has been a great success!

Mr. Bossy & I are also excited to say goodbye to 2011 and all of its sad memories. The good news, though, is that we now know what it takes for us to get pregnant! 2012 WILL be our year. I just need Aunt Flow to arrive. My RE told me that it would take 2-4 weeks after my d & c for my period to arrive. Tomorrow will mark 4 weeks, and there is still no sight of her.

I'll return to see my RE on Wednesday, and to say I'm anxious to begin our FET would be an understatement. Fingers crossed that she gives us the "all clear" to try again.




Bossy Bud