I jinxed myself in my last blog when I wrote that the first week on BCPs flew by because the second week took F-O-R-E-V-E-R.
Tomorrow I'll return to my RE to see if my BCPs have shrunk the cyst. It needs to be less than 12 mm for us to proceed safely. I'm so scared and anxious. Mr. Bossy & I have waited to move on since December, and I'm not a very patient person.
My nephew will be making his debut in a couple of weeks. My SIL told me yesterday that she'll probably be induced the week after Easter since he's getting bigger and she has such a small frame. It's funny how two months ago, I was super excited about being an aunt. I was getting used to the situation. Still extremely jealous, but getting more and more excited. I spoke with my SIL about our FET plans, and she couldn't have cared less. That broke my heart. With our "bump in the road", I've noticed myself slipping back to my old feelings. I feel like things are just not working out for Mr. Bossy and I, and I often throw myself a pity party.
Something else I've noticed about myself is I'm no longer as open about our infertility and doctor business with family and friends. I never told the world, but I shared with certain people. Recently, I've been keeping pretty quiet. I figure if people want to know, then they'll ask.
I'm going to close this blog with a song that I know we can all relate to. Grab some tissues.
Bossy Bud
3 comments:
Were at the same pity party girl. I'm tired of being sad and jealous about other peoples news. I'd like to stay upbeat and positive but that's impossible when you have been beat down for so long (for me at least). Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers....and I'm always here to listen if you want to vent.
-Buckeye
Let me start off by saying that I cannot stand when people get so self-absorbed with their own lives, and forget that othes may not have it as easy as you did. Your SIL should be a little more sensitive to your feelings, but it's obvious that she is too caught up in her own "stuff".
Also, it's sad... but true... most people don't care about our problems. People only want good news, and often times do not know how to handle not-so-good news. I was very glad to have this blog for the simple fact that I did not share much of our fertility issues with anyone. This time around, I really only shared info with another couple we spend a lot of time with (our best friends), and even then I kept a lot to myself. I didn't even talk to my Mom about it! Not that she wouldn't care, but she wouldn't be able to give me he positive vibes I needed to get through it. You know we are all here to hear your vents and to help you along. Personally, if it wasn't for this blog, I don't know where I would be. NO ONE will ever understand you like the ladies on this blog. I may have gotten what I wanted, but I will NEVER forget the road that got me here, and what worked for me. Vent all you want, girl! We are here for you!!!!!
Thank you, ladies! Every now and then, I need someone else (besides Mr. Bossy) to pull me out of the hole I've dug for myself. Brighter days are ahead; I know it!
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